How do you discipline your kids?

[~LadyLocks~]

So being that my daughter is almost hitting her terrible 2's, I've been wondering what's the best way to teach her right from wrong? I've seen some people use the "corner" method, or "go to your room" method but I'm not certain it's the right way. I guess with trial and error, I'll find what works best for us.

Lately my daughter has been acting out and tries to hit me and when I get mad at her she breaks down into tears and right away comes to give me a kiss. It's frustrating but at the same time cute cause I love her kisses. If that makes sense lol.

Anyway, I don't believe in hitting kids to discipline them so I was wondering...what works best for other moms and kids?

 

[Moppit]

I have used the time-out chair and it worked. You just have to be firm and make them stay there even if they cry. I made the time spent on the chair based on the age.

 

[n_c]

On whatever method you try, be consistent. I think that's what makes the difference in what works and what doesn't. Kids know what they can get away with and not...so once they see a dicipline pattern on behavior that is not accepted...they eventually catch on. Yeah...consistency works!

 

[Chic 2k6]

do you watch Supernanny? shes fab at disclipning kids

if your daughter does something wrong, give her a warning that if she repeats it, she has to be punished. if she ignores the warning and does something that she shouldnt do, send her to a naughty step or bench, and the length of time of her to be on there should be for each minute of her age in this case 2 minutes, leave her be for that two minutes then come back to her and ask her to apologise to you and finish with a kiss and a cuddle. this will be different for her but after a while she'll catch on and do her time quietly.

HTH!

 

[Shimmer]

I care for a 2 year old, and have a 4, 6, 10, and 13 year old.
One thing I've learned, particularly with the younger ones, is never raise the voice. Speak firmly, and without hystronics.

I use a combination of time out chair, sitting on hands (for the 4 year old), if there's a temper fit I generally remove the child from my presence.

My kids don't hit me. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Riley (the 2 year old) did it once, and I grabbed her hand, put it by her said and said very clearly "Do not hit me ever again." I can't say it'll work for everyone but it's worked thus far for me.





note: my daughter is the singularly most stubborn and disciplinarily intensive child I have encountered. Consistency of rules is important when dealing with a child like her. She's a good kid in every aspect except that she doesn't like doing school work, and will hide it from me and my husband at any cost. ANY cost.

 

[Hawkeye]

Luckily I haven't hit this part yet-but my best friend has. Her daughter is in this time period and she does spank. She doesn't do it hard, she just does a quick swat on her butt (which is heavily padded by the diaper LOL) and she speaks in a very firm voice.

That being said-she is a very well mannered child. She is polite very sweet child and she is spoiled rotton! LOL But when she does act out thats what my best friend does.

 

[little teaser]

i dont spank my kids either and i have a three year old that acts like your daughter at times and i give him time out and if he is out of control crying and stuff i send him to his room and once he calms down i try to talk to him but it isnt always easy to talk to a 2-3 year old

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by n_c On whatever method you try, be consistent. I think that's what makes the difference in what works and what doesn't.

Very true. I whole heartedly agree with what Shimmer stated also. I usually give a firm verbal warning and if she repeats whatever she was doing, I put her in time out/heads down on table. You can start giving her "the look" too LOL. You know, when you give your child "the look" they stop doing whatever it is that you don't want them to do

Maybe that's just me...

 

[jenii]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moppit I have used the time-out chair and it worked. You just have to be firm and make them stay there even if they cry. I made the time spent on the chair based on the age.

I've actually seen that method on Supernanny, and it does seem to work! I'm glad to hear from a regular person that it does, because that's the discipline I was thinking about using when my daughter is older. It's completely non-violent, non-scary, but it shows them that there's consequences for misbehaving.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzcelaneous Very true. I whole heartedly agree with what Shimmer stated also. I usually give a firm verbal warning and if she repeats whatever she was doing, I put her in time out/heads down on table. You can start giving her "the look" too LOL. You know, when you give your child "the look" they stop doing whatever it is that you don't want them to do Maybe that's just me...

My daughter knows "the look" lol. She's a very good girl so I'm not sure if she's learning this from other kids at day care but believe me, she will not get away with this! She's hit me a few times or attempted to and most of the time when I give her the look she stops and puts her hands down. The few times she has hit me I do tell her NO and of course she cries and then here comes that kiss lol. Once she gets older i'm definitely going to try the time out thing. Thanks!

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Quote:

Originally Posted by youbeabitch Luckily I haven't hit this part yet-but my best friend has. Her daughter is in this time period and she does spank. She doesn't do it hard, she just does a quick swat on her butt (which is heavily padded by the diaper LOL) and she speaks in a very firm voice. That being said-she is a very well mannered child. She is polite very sweet child and she is spoiled rotton! LOL But when she does act out thats what my best friend does.

I have spanked her (with the diaper on of course) and the times I have she's listened. I don't do it often but there are times when she gets up from bed over and over whinning and then WACK, there goes the spank and she jumps back into bed fast and goes straight to sleep. It's worked for me at times when I'm frusterated and have tried everything else but I want to avoid this method cause I don't think hitting is the answer. If there are times when it is necessary then by all means. I was never hit as a child, I mean I can think of a few times I had but I deserved it!! lol

 

[xmrsvindieselx]

I dont have children, but a "time-out" does work. For a two-year old, puting he/she in time out for 2 minutes can make a big change on their actions, especially if its consistant. and honestly, two minutes may not seem like a long time, but for a child its like a life time.

 

[IslandGirl77]

It depends for me. I send them to their room or they get a spanking. They seem to not listen to anything I say firm, calm whatever. I think my voice isn't very authortative. Now, my bf on the other hand. He says something to them and they listen. I spank them on the butt not to hard. Enough to get the point across. My daughter is in the terrible two's and she is sassy. We usually tell her to go in her room if she's acting up. She'll get a spanking if she's being really bad. They aren't so bad though, I dont' have to scold them to much.

And growing up for me, butt woopings were always a option.

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Thanks ladies for all your help! Your feedback is very much appreciated! I guess I'll have to try it all and see what works best for my daughter. Wish us luck

!

 

[Shawna]

My son is a great kid, but boy, does he have a temper on him. When he gets mad (he's 4 now) he tries everything from hitting to kicking to pinching, well you get the idea. Spanking doesn't work because that just encourages them to hit back. The threat of a spank works much better. However, that doesn't always work either. I find with Graham that the best disciplinary tool is losing his favorite toy. Yeah, sound cruel, but when he is told he won't have his beloved Star Wars Lego for a week, the bad behaviour stops instantly. Now when he is even thinking about being bad, all I have to do is mention the loss of Star Wars and that puts a stop to the behaviour. I don't know if it will work with your daughter because she may not understand consequences yet, but it may be worth a try. Also, the look works wonders too. And as all the others said, consistency is your best tool. If you dole out a punishment, you need to be prepared to administer the whole thing. Kids are damn cute when they are crying and say "I'm sorry, I love you mommy" but you need to be firm. You'll thank yourself one day

 

[mzreyes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzcelaneous Very true. I whole heartedly agree with what Shimmer stated also. I usually give a firm verbal warning and if she repeats whatever she was doing, I put her in time out/heads down on table. You can start giving her "the look" too LOL. You know, when you give your child "the look" they stop doing whatever it is that you don't want them to do Maybe that's just me...

ahh yes, "the look". i dont have any kids, but i have a lil sister. when she was little and did something bad i'd give her that look first before i said anything. she would either stop, or laugh at me. usually i'd end up laughing too. lol!!

 

[~LadyLocks~]

Well I'm glad to say that she hasn't raised her hand at me since that last time which means she's learned her lesson. I hope this is the end of her "hitting" stage, we will see...

 

[glamqueen1]

It so contradictory to use spanking if you want a child to stop hitting."You can't hit me but I can hit you", makes no sense at all, surely not to the child!:whattha:
I would never dream of spanking my son, it's so insulting to be spanked,I would only turn him against me.
The time-out methode is good when they need to calm down, but it's more important to explain in a way they understand that the behavior is wrong, than forcing an apology out of them. Being calm, firm and consistent, just like mentioned above.
Actually, I wouldn't be too worried about that 2 year old daughter. To me, you're doing all right, and her kissing you shows that she knows she's done wrong

, I don't really think you need to take further "disciplinary actions". Take care!

 

[aziajs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~LadyLocks~ I have spanked her (with the diaper on of course) and the times I have she's listened. I don't do it often but there are times when she gets up from bed over and over whinning and then WACK, there goes the spank and she jumps back into bed fast and goes straight to sleep. It's worked for me at times when I'm frusterated and have tried everything else but I want to avoid this method cause I don't think hitting is the answer. If there are times when it is necessary then by all means. I was never hit as a child, I mean I can think of a few times I had but I deserved it!! lol

The thing with spanking, in my opinion, is that it's the last course of action. You shouldn't be spanking your kids all the time. If you are, you don't have control over them and your disciplinary tools aren't working. You should be able to communicate with them and use your words more often as a form of discipline. But there are times when they need to be spanked. It also depends on the severity of what they've done and how old they are.

I grew up being spanked. I will spank my kids if I have some. My family also believes when kids are babies and such and they do things like bite you or hit you or whatever that you bite or hit them back. The idea is that if a child realizes that it doesn't feel good to be bit or hit or whatever the case, they are less likely to do it in the future. This is what we do with my 10 month old cousin. You can't reason with a 10 month old and she doesn't always listen so you show her.

The thing that I don't understand about parents who believe that spanking your kids incourages violence and it's not an example to set, etc. is that that same theory can be applied to any disciplinary action you take. If your child does or says something you feel is inappropriate you are within your right to give them a time out or tell them to go to their room. Okay. But when you do or say something your child feels is inapproriate are they then allowed to tell you to go to your room or give you a time out? No.

 

[tsukiyomi]

I plan on using gentle discipline. Under no circumstances will I hit my child.