How do you do it?

[Shimmer]

Lets say you have a friend who wears some horribly unflattering clothes/makeup/perfume...how do you tell her? She thinks she's rocking it, but her clothes are ill fitting or her make up is unflattering or her perfume smells yicky.
Do you tell her? Or do you let her just continue in oblivion?

 

[Willa]

I have a friend who's wardrobe is really not my type
She wears old lady shoes, long boring skirts all the time
But I learn from my mistakes, and I won't say a thing
Unless she asks...

It's just that I am not very diplomat when it comes to that kind of discussion, and I don't want to hurt her feelings

 

[chocolategoddes]

A REAL friend would be straight up about it and say, " Look here. I love you but you look horrible right now." Then bring up some suggestions so it shows that you wanna help her and not bring her self-asteem down.

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

It depends on the level of trust in the friendship honestly. I would tell my BFF that she looked horrible, because she's basically my sister. If it's an issue of style, I ignore what offends me, because really, it's not my problem.

 

[KittieSparkles]

I would just be straight up and tell her. Be nice about it and be ready to offer a explaination and a replacement. LOL. When I have told my BFF in the past that I did not think something look good on her she would follow with "Why/what's wrong with____? and what do you suggest me to do then?"

 

[MACATTAK]

I'd do it in a more subtle way. I would ask her to take a shopping trip with me & pick out some new items (telling her this would look amazing/hot on them.) I'd offer to do a makeover on her, telling her I would love to try some of my new makeup/looks on her. Same thing for the perfume..."Oh you've got to try this and that, it smells so good." I think you can say pretty much anything to someone, it just depends on how. You know her personality, so you would be able to feel out if she would be hurt by you coming straight out with, "You look like a wreck and need help."

 

[Shimmer]

I'm not disagreeing at all with y'all, and I don't have 'that' friend, but I know how hard the conversation is.
It's made even more difficult when she feels like she looks good.

 

[lara]

I don't say anything unless directly asked, and even then I'll hedge and be the most tactful person that I can be. It's not my position to critique my friend without express invitation first.

 

[Babylard]

yeah.. i think that depends on what kind of relationship you have with the person. i will sugar coat my opinions if it is someone sensitive or if it is someone that i don't know too well.. and usually if it is a big, big deal.

if something was wrong with me, i'd certainly like to know. many chances are, people don't even realize it. its like one of those days where you wear a shirt you thought was hot, but then u go home like "omg, what was i thinking..." "Omg, i can't believe no one told me that you could almost see my nipples"...

like with my sisters, i'm very honest about it, but they know i mean well. i always make sure i say "I'm not trying to be mean, but I think this doesn't suit you"... "I think ________ will look better"... "You have some facial hair going on. Want to wax with me?"

I think it is important that I let the person know that I am trying to help rather than just being rude or making bad comments without offering any solutions and ideas.

If there is something horribly wrong, I will tell you. It's for your own good. lol but if its something objective like style.. then whatever

 

[Loveleighe]

depending on how close i am to that person i might flat out just tell them like my bestfriend will flat out say "your hair looks gross like that put it up." otherwise i'd "suggest" we go shopping and try to introduce them to better fitting clothing or take them to a makeup counter and be like "omg you should get cranberry e/s it would look so good on you" or for chrsitmas i'd buy them gifts directed towards a makeover. I don't feel like i should force my opinion on anyone though. What i think may look good on them may not be well suited either if they really are happy tacky then i say let it be. But i'm still probably going to give makeover christmas gifts to the person.

 

[SparklingWaves]

It depends on the person. Some people I know can handle the blunt truth. Others can't handle anything at all. Even if I like an outfit, it's --"Do you really like it?" So, I base it on the person.

My sister and I are very blunt with each other. I can tell her "Damn, those look like momma jeans." She will say to me, "What the Hell did you do you your hair? It looks like ****?" If I said that to one of my friends who has been wearing the same freaking hairstyle for 20 years, she would cry & scream like a child. She doesn't want to hear the truth about anything. I tell her do you want to know the truth and she says, "No."

 

[user79]

I guess it depends on the close-ness of the friendship. Once my friend got dreads in her hair and she honestly asked me what I thought of it, if she made a mistake, and I was pretty diplomatic about it. I think I said something like, "The dreads are unique, but I liked how your hair was before."

If they don't invite an opinion, hmm...I really don't know, unless it's REALLY terrible, I probably would not say anything. I have a friend who wears really horrible make-up (like dark brown lipstick, foundation way too dark for her) and she's always going on about how much she loves make-up. I just smile and nod, she obviously likes what she's doing but it looks so bad. One time my bf (unwittingly) asked her, "Oh did you get a tan? Your face looks so dark!" and I was just laughing inside because it was just her horribly dark foundation, lol!!

 

[TangoMango]

I used to have a friend that had horrible makeup. Her liquid eyeliner would always be wonky and she purposely clumped her mascara to get spider lashes. She would also pack on the blush and never blend it in. She was a pretty girl but her makeup did nothing for her. One day, we were talking about makeup and I asked her if she would come to school without all the eyemakeup and I told her that she would look so much better without it. She said she would think about it.

My other friend, however, I'm way closer with and one time she ran out of liquid eyeliner and couldn't hide the eyelash glue, so she tried covering it with gold eyeshadow. I told her straight up that's not cute and that I would gladly get her an eye kohl, anything to fix it.

So yes, I think it does depend on the closeness of the friendship.

 

[xIxSkyDancerxIx]

I'd second the shopping trip and tell them that I think this and that would look GREAT on them and that they would have to try it out. If they're the type that can handle blunt truth then I'll tell them "Look, I know you think you look good right now, but that doesn't flatter you at all." IF they can't then I'll say "I know you think you look good, but I think these would make you look even better/great!"

Usually they fall for it lol

 

[xsnowwhite]

depends on the friend...
Like to my best friends, I can straight up say that looks ugly and they dont care and i know they'd do the same with me, but if its a firend i dont know that well, i dont say anything.

 

[frocher]

....

 

[MiCHiE]

I can't do it. I always say what's on my mind, but I cannot tell people certain things, especially if it's about looks or B.O. I just can't do it.

 

[CaraAmericana]

I never say anything. I live in fear that I may insult her personal style. I don't want to be responsible for taking a shit on someone's confidence.

Most of my friends dress differently from me actually. I wear a lot of black and they know it is not because I am Goth or depressed. I just like black clothing. Partially because I don't like color coordinating.

I can tell you this, Chicas better not ever say anything to me about how I am dressed. If my undies are showing or I got double titties or something then yes tell me because those are wardrobe malfunctions.

If you don't like my pefume. oh well. Why do you care. If it is too strong then yes tell me, that would be different. But the scent-nunya!

If I think I am rocking something horrid, let me go on rock with my badself.

I have learn with age, not to ask anyone how I look in something either because when I did that I always found I bought something I did not like deep down inside and wished I bought something that was 'not flattering' per a friend. I shop alone.

So, I in turn offer these same ideas when dealing with my friends and their style. Even when they do ask me, I make them think "How does it make you feel when you look at yourself in it?"

 

[ms.marymac]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaraAmericana I never say anything. I live in fear that I may insult her personal style. I don't want to be responsible for taking a shit on someone's confidence. Most of my friends dress differently from me actually. I wear a lot of black and they know it is not because I am Goth or depressed. I just like black clothing. Partially because I don't like color coordinating. I can tell you this, Chicas better not ever say anything to me about how I am dressed. If my undies are showing or I got double titties or something then yes tell me because those are wardrobe malfunctions. If you don't like my pefume. oh well. Why do you care. If it is too strong then yes tell me, that would be different. But the scent-nunya! If I think I am rocking something horrid, let me go on rock with my badself. I have learn with age, not to ask anyone how I look in something either because when I did that I always found I bought something I did not like deep down inside and wished I bought something that was 'not flattering' per a friend. I shop alone. So, I in turn offer these same ideas when dealing with my friends and their style. Even when they do ask me, I make them think "How does it make you feel when you look at yourself in it?"

My feelings exactly. If I have TP on my shoe, something is hanging out, or if I ask...then I welcome comments. I am the same way with friends. If they ask about an outfit or hair (and I am not a fan), I will be honest but turn it into something positive. "Have you ever tried such & such? I bet that would great on you!"

I had to deal with YEARS of my mom criticizing my appearance, and it really hurt my feelings and pissed me off. I wasn't the "conservative, preppy" daughter she wanted. I refuse to make another person feel like that. She still brings up my pink hair/piercings/studs and boots (long gone), but at least I can laugh about it, and know that I was happy in those things.

 

[flowerhead]

no, i'm not friends with people i don't like looking at.