how important is the first time?

[NutMeg]

I think a lot of it depends on how wide you are, and how wide your partner is (length/depth isn't as big a deal for pain I find). If there's really no stretch to make things fit *trying to be politically correct here* then it won't hurt or bleed, but if you have to tear a bit it's going to bleed and be painful.

 

[silversuniverse]

I lost mine when I was 15 years old. It was a mistake! I thought I loved the guy and it turned out that he was a total loser. I became attached to him for 2 years until I finally realized it was hopeless. Honey, if it's only messing around don't do it. You will probably end up regretting it. Not to be mean or anything, I'm speaking from experience.

It was important to me though, I felt different, definitely. If not to explain it any other way. It was a major turning point in my life. It made me feel more confident. I felt more alive as well. It hurt like hell though! I'd say if you don't think you're ready, then you're not. Just wait until the day when it is a complete decision that you've thought through over and over until yes is the final answer, and you have no second thoughts about it.


Don't do it to make him happy, do it for yourself, if you do.

 

[chocodcocoa]

your first time is important!
really take the time to think about it and decide if you're really ready for it... i have a whole bunch of friends who got pressured into it... or did it when they weren't really ready... and whenever we talk about sex they talk about their regret.
make sure you know the guy well before you really commit to the relationship physically... make sure you really love him enough to give up your first time.
n when i lost mine i bled A LOT. it also hurt like hell. the next morning my bedsheets looked like they were from a crime scene.

 

[blindpassion]

It's important. Don't rush to get rid of your V card. It's something that you'll be glad you waited and to loose at the right time. I waited until I was in love and in a serious relationship to have sex for the first time, and it was honestly the best choice I ever made. I dont regret it one bit. I have a lot of friends who just lost it for the sake of loosing it, and they say if they could go back and change on thing in their lives, it would be how they handelled that situation. Sex is an emotional thing, its powerful, it's mature, and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Even at 17 I know this well. It doesnt seem like a big thing, but once you do it... theres no taking it back. Just think long and hard and remember, theres no rush.

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Something rather amusing My First Time: The Play inspired by My First Time Stories.

Different stories about people's first times (the good, the bad... the awkward).

 

[dollbabybex]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocodcocoa the next morning my bedsheets looked like they were from a crime scene.

haha! same here...

he went to turn on the light and i said...i think i mightve bled a bit... that was an understatement!it went thru to the matress!ugh!i was mortified!

 

[Beauty Mark]

Why do you want to get it over with?

That's the first thing I think you should consider. I didn't care much about my virginity, so it wasn't a big deal. You know, like how movies like to portray it. However, it varies from person to person.

Having sex with someone is always an important issue, if only for the disease factor. Please act responsibly regardless of whether it's your first or 1000th time.

 

[noturavgurl]

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[CantAffordMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by noturavgurl gosh it was so weird! i saw him again..and mind u, i had a bit to drink. so i told him let's just do it. and he said no because i'd been drinking and didn't know what i wanted. ha! but then after a while, i think he regretted saying no...but i was already half asleep. =) anyhow, i do think it's important to do it with someone i care about, or at least know for a fact that i don't care that much...i just wasn't trusting myself to make the right decision! man, i'd love to look back at this forum someday, after i actually do it. what a ball it'd be!

trust me, you'll laugh. I went back and read old letters, or emails or watever around the time I was thinking of losing my virginity and I look back and I'm so embarrassed. lol it was funny though.

 

[Araylan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer That said, something changes inside of you. I wouldn't recommend doing it just to do it.

I completely agree. Don't do it just to do it. There's a good chance you'll regret it later that way. Just be absolutely sure that you're ready and want to.

 

[Chelseaa]

Haha that's EXACTLY how I felt. I wanted to get it over with.
But then when i actually did for the first time, it was because I was in love.
In my opinion, you should wait until you find someone you love. Because if you do it with someone you only kind of like, you'll break up and stuff and whatever. But then if you find someone you love, you'll wish they could be the only one you've ever done it with. For example, if my boyfriend wasn't a virgin before we had sex ... it would be weird and the bond would feel less close kind of. And I'm glad to say he's the only one I've been with.
I explained that sort of confusingly.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

For example, if my boyfriend wasn't a virgin before we had sex ... it would be weird and the bond would feel less close kind of

I can't say that's true. The person with whom you first have sex will probably always remain in your memory, but beyond that, I don't have any regrets about anyone I've slept with. It's no less special sleeping with someone who's slept with more than one person, as long as they don't sleep around indiscriminately

 

[NutMeg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I can't say that's true. The person with whom you first have sex will probably always remain in your memory, but beyond that, I don't have any regrets about anyone I've slept with. It's no less special sleeping with someone who's slept with more than one person, as long as they don't sleep around indiscriminately

I agree. My boyfriend has slept with an impressive amount of people (and by impressive I mean a little upsetting), but I don't feel less of a bond. It used to really bother me, but then I thought to myself what's more important, to be the first person he slept with or the first one he loved? That's not to say that I like to think about it, but it's not something that affects us in anyway.

 

[Chelseaa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I can't say that's true. The person with whom you first have sex will probably always remain in your memory, but beyond that, I don't have any regrets about anyone I've slept with. It's no less special sleeping with someone who's slept with more than one person, as long as they don't sleep around indiscriminately

Well that's not really what I was meaning. I basically just mean that it's nice that both of us can say we're the only ones each other has ever been with. And I wasn't making the statement about other people I guess, mostly just how I feel. And I definitely stick by it.
...We're each other's frists for anything and we're completely in love I just think it's nice when things work out that way.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg I thought to myself what's more important, to be the first person he slept with or the first one he loved?

Precisely.

I don't care that I wasn't the first, as long as I'm the last. )

 

[Bernadette]

I think it's very important. It was very important for me. I waited until I was 20, he was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. I thought I meant the same to him that he did to me and he totally destroyed my heart. To a degree I still regret that I gave that much of myself to him, including my virginity. I think it's much better to wait and find the right person. And even once you are pretty sure of that, to think about it a little more.
But this is coming from the 24 year old that's only kissed three guys in her life. I'm kind of abnormal about these things.

 

[tresbellecoeur]

I think it really depends on how big of a deal you think it is. For me, i didnt really think it was huge, and kinda did it to just get it over with. I was 17, and i did it with my first ever real boyfriend whom i dated in grade 9. Me and him werent dating at the time, and i actually havent actually SEEN him since, but im okay with that. I think i'll always have a tiny thing for him tho.

 

[karenkillah]

It matters, I went ahead and did it because I thought that I didn't care and I was curious, but looking back on it I knew that it was a big mistake. I acted all bad-ass about it and I fooled myself that it wasn't a big deal for a while. But then a tiny voice asks you if you were worth more before you lost it. And a couple days after I lost it, I remembered when I was a freshmen and I told myself that I would wait untill my soulmate came for me. It changes you, even if you think it doesn't, now I guard my body more then I do my heart. Maybe it changes over the years, because I just lost mine over the summer. You wouldn't want to remember your first time as being a regret, but being something you charish. Ya only get one shot ya know?

 

[noturavgurl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by karenkillah I acted all bad-ass about it and I fooled myself that it wasn't a big deal for a while. But then a tiny voice asks you if you were worth more before you lost it.

that's my fear! i feel like i'm trying to be bad ass about it, but i'm fooling myself. it's just funny when all your friends have done it already, and they talk about it and you're just kinda like..oh..really? cool..but not really knowing what they mean. hahaha!

 

[chocolategoddes]

I feel like you should do it when you WANT to not when you think you NEED to. obviously we've heard it all before. I'm a "V" too and I've never had a REAL boy/girlfriend. I'm sure that when you feel ready you'll know it. It won't slap y0u in the face and scream " you're ready to have sex!!!" its more of a feeling that you know you trust the person and you want to share that experience with him.