mikeymm529
New member
I haven't had a boy friend in over a year. Im starting to feel hopeless what to do ??
how to get a boyfriend?
- Thread starter mikeymm529
- Start date
TSIZ
Well-known member
FIRST, stop looking for a boyfriend!
A) it's nice to have a partner; however, you do not need a boyfriend all the time
B) it'll happen when it's time to happen and no sooner - you'll "find" a partner when you're not looking; men can sense desperation
SECOND, understand that "being alone" and "being lonely" are two different states-of-mind. Accept that "being alone" can be a very good thing.*
*to help you get in-the-zone, listen to the song "Freedom" by George Michael. IT. IS. AWESOME.
Watch the video, too. IT'S AWESOME AND GORGEOUS!
Not even a glimpse of George Michael in the video...all of the "original" supermodels from late-'1980's - early-1990's are in it lip-synching the song (e.g., Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington...just to name a few...)!
THIRD, start enjoying your life and freedom as a young, attractive, intelligent AND single lady!
A) it's nice to have a partner; however, you do not need a boyfriend all the time
B) it'll happen when it's time to happen and no sooner - you'll "find" a partner when you're not looking; men can sense desperation
SECOND, understand that "being alone" and "being lonely" are two different states-of-mind. Accept that "being alone" can be a very good thing.*
*to help you get in-the-zone, listen to the song "Freedom" by George Michael. IT. IS. AWESOME.
Watch the video, too. IT'S AWESOME AND GORGEOUS!
Not even a glimpse of George Michael in the video...all of the "original" supermodels from late-'1980's - early-1990's are in it lip-synching the song (e.g., Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington...just to name a few...)!
THIRD, start enjoying your life and freedom as a young, attractive, intelligent AND single lady!
katred
Specktra Bestie
I'd have to go with the advice above. Personally, I've had relationships and I've had long stretches of being single and I've enjoyed the single parts at LEAST as much as the parts in relationships. Enjoy being with friends, doing whatever you want, when you want, feeling responsible to no one but yourself. Enjoy dating just for the sake of going out, without wondering what it's going to turn into. A good relationship is a wonderful thing, but so is being single and free of obligations. There is so much you can enjoy in life and you don't need to be in a relationship to do it (in fact, sometimes it helps not to be). Don't sweat it. You don't want to get into a mindset where you want a relationship just for the sake of having one. Relax and enjoy the wait for the right one!
User38
Well-known member
I agree with both TSIZ and katred.... it seems when you are looking for love/relationships you must emit some kind of sound wave that somehow says I need a man now.. and that always scares the bejesus out of most men.
I am widowed, and pushing 51.. lol.. and I meet men all the time. More men than I can actually handle because I am not looking and don't want them. I have a nice relationship (notice I said nice, not great) with Ramon and between my work, friends, family, life and hobbies that I am not even sure I want that.. however it is good when we do get together, sometimes even great.
but after having been in real love several times in my life, I don't feel the necessity or the void filled by a man.. any man.
and because of this, I think I get a lot of men trying to date me.
reverse psychology of men 101.
I am widowed, and pushing 51.. lol.. and I meet men all the time. More men than I can actually handle because I am not looking and don't want them. I have a nice relationship (notice I said nice, not great) with Ramon and between my work, friends, family, life and hobbies that I am not even sure I want that.. however it is good when we do get together, sometimes even great.
but after having been in real love several times in my life, I don't feel the necessity or the void filled by a man.. any man.
and because of this, I think I get a lot of men trying to date me.
reverse psychology of men 101.
Piarpreet
Well-known member
its been 4 years and 3 months for me. enjoy being single and look for social opportunities so you get the chance to meet awesome people.
banana1234
Well-known member
i agree with the above, once you are happy being single, that's when all the men start lining up !
nightingails
Well-known member
I'm in the same situation. I'm not exactly desperately looking but having one would be nice...not to be alone. I just can't seem to find a place to meet someone.
Piarpreet
Well-known member
Salsa classes... fo sho! you switch partners every song/class so you get to meet a lot of people and there are loads of socials organized and workshops.. and it's too much fun! it's a healthy environment where ppl wanna learn, meet peeps and they dont over drink (salsa with alcohol its a NO NO)
kaliraksha
Well-known member
Everyone has given great advice. I basically agree. When you are happy with your life, you attract people that want to be a part of your life. I think that's why I always find myself getting hit on more when I'm taken and happy. Or as soon as I'm doing ok being single again.
I agree with what everyone is saying here. Be happy with yourself. Be confident in your own skin. Do the things you enjoy and be with people you have fun with. You have a lifetime of being with one person, so enjoy your freedom. That is often when you grow the most and have some of the best adventures in your life. I loved being single. I love my husband, but relationships are all about giving, receiving and compromises. And yes, men have a tendency to hone in on women who are not looking. Probably because at that point we are not flirting or forcing ourselves on guys ( a very annoying act!) or trying to steal other girls' guys! When it is time, the right person will come along, or not. Some people are also destined to live happy, single lives. I know a lot of them and they travel to amazing places, have excellent jobs, are able to do a lot of the things I am not able to do. They are extremely happy people and have very fufilling lives!
In a nutshell, just be you and have fun doing so!
In a nutshell, just be you and have fun doing so!
TSIZ
Well-known member
(LOL, sooo true...)
BTW, I love Love LOVE your signature/tag...I too have been "abusing" ellipses - and dashes/slashes, as well as, parentheses (and semi-colons); however, most of the time, they are necessary. I've learned from contract law that one comma, properly placed or misplaced, can make a huge difference in the meaning of a sentence...or the whole contract!
TSIZ
Well-known member
TSIZ
Well-known member
Quote:
*raising hands waaay high in the air* woohooo!
