I don't feel feminine

[Willa]

At all...

I feel like, in another life, I was a man
I never liked wearing dresses, skirts, I cried when my mother forced me too
I remember being in 4th grade, she made me wear a peach colored knit shirt my grandma made for me, because it was the picture day. And since we had our picture taken after lunch, and I was going to eat home, I switched it for my favorite sweater.

The only time I feel a bit feminine, is when I put on makeup
I don't know, I love wearing jeans and not too tight shirts. I love Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore style, not too girly (when they don't wear skirts and high heels).

Does any of you feel like this?
Because when it comes to look pretty or more girly, I feel like I'm wearing clown-ish clothes, I don't feel good at all.
Is it normal? (what is normal anyway?)
I'm 28, soon 29... Am I immature or what?

 

[TISH1124]

I am not sure Willa....because I feel like girly all the time.....I used to be a terrible Tom Boy...But then when I was about 14 I started to really want to be super feminine and frilly.....

I think a lot of women look really feminine even though they wear simple clothing and makeup.....Sometimes less is more.

I do however still feel feminine without makeup...I think it's all in the attitude...On a normal day I wear a white T-shirt, jeans and heels....No makeup, maybe lip balm....hair pulled back and I still feel like a girly girl. I feel prettier with a little makeup...But I don't think it makes me feel more like a chicky chick!

There is no normal.....It's all preference and personal I think

 

[Willa]

I'd love to try it out with heels, but all my ''cute'' shoes gives me blisters, and I have to throw them in the back of the wardrobe.

 

[TISH1124]

You have to find some that are comfy and fit well....Heels can be your Cute friend if they fit properly...That and a cute handbag make the dullest outfit HOT!! and a killer pair of shades!!

 

[Half N Half]

I don't think it's NOT normal. Everyone is different. I pretty much felt like you all throughout high school. It took me some time to really get into girly things like makeup and fashion. I personally only get totally done up if I'm going out or if I'm just in the mood to get pretty...and when I do, I feel great. The rest of the time I could care less. If you're not always "dolled up" I could see how you might feel uncomfortable once you do dress more girly, like you said. I don't know, maybe you will feel more feminine at some point, maybe you won't. Either way, all that matters is that you're happy with the person you are.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willa Does any of you feel like this?

I'm a jeans and shirt and cute shoes girl, I'm decidedly UNfeminine, and carry myself in a very aggressive, almost masculine way.
I don't like accessories to clank and rattle, and I rarely wear more than earrings and a cuff/bracelet. I'm not one of those girls who gets fixed up and stays that way through the day, and I look ridiculous in super feminine getups.

One thing that has helped through the years is instead of doing it all at once...I just gradually eased my style/wardrobe into a more feminine / less androgynous look.

 

[Willa]

Thank you girls

It's true, I could try to do it one step at a time
I really like the ''pinup'' style, the 50's and 60's look... but right now I'd look ridiculous dressed up like this

My man doesnt say a thing about my look, but I know he'd love to see me in high heels and a blouse sometimes. I guess being overweight doesnt help me... because I can't find any clothes that fit well on me, except the style I'm wearing. I tried a lot of blouses, shirts, and everytime I look ridiculous

 

[Half N Half]

Maybe the way that you're feeling about your weight has something to do with it too. I know that my height makes me feel less feminine sometimes. I LOVE high heels! They just scream femininity! I always see the cutest shoes that I'd love to buy, but I'm super tall and just feel way too self-conscious about my height to actually wear heels.

 

[Willa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Half N Half Maybe the way that you're feeling about your weight has something to do with it too. I know that my height makes me feel less feminine sometimes. I LOVE high heels! They just scream femininity! I always see the cutest shoes that I'd love to buy, but I'm super tall and just feel way too self-conscious about my height to actually wear heels.

Yes, I thought about it, and it could be true
But, I do a lot of future self-vision (if I can say it like that, don't know the real expression in english sorry) to help me in my weightloss, and I don't see myself in a dress... So, I guess it's both of the options : I'm not a feminine girl deep inside, and my weight doesnt help right now.

 

[Half N Half]

Well if deep down inside you don't feel you're feminine, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be you and be happy! If we were all the same it would be a boring ass world!

 

[LMD84]

sweetie i know how you feel so don't worry!! i don't wear dresses, skirts and heels unless it's a very special occasion! when i'm not at work i live in jeans, vest tops, hoodies and skate shoes!! and when at work i wear black trousers and a provided blouse. i have long blonde hair which i pull back into a poney most days and even pin my sweeping fringe off my face! i do wear make up most days though and i too am overweight.

I always feel bad compared to one friend of mine who lives in pretty skirts and frilly tops and she always wear lots of nice jewelery but it's just not me!! when i do want to feel girly i'll wear my hair down. put on some heels (even if i wear then while sat down!!) so don't feel weird or anything! i'm sure plenty other girls are the same!!

 

[kyoto]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willa At all... I feel like, in another life, I was a man I never liked wearing dresses, skirts, I cried when my mother forced me too I remember being in 4th grade, she made me wear a peach colored knit shirt my grandma made for me, because it was the picture day. And since we had our picture taken after lunch, and I was going to eat home, I switched it for my favorite sweater. The only time I feel a bit feminine, is when I put on makeup I don't know, I love wearing jeans and not too tight shirts. I love Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore style, not too girly (when they don't wear skirts and high heels). Does any of you feel like this? Because when it comes to look pretty or more girly, I feel like I'm wearing clown-ish clothes, I don't feel good at all. Is it normal? (what is normal anyway?) I'm 28, soon 29... Am I immature or what?

First there is no such thing as normal, you have to do you. I think we all have times that we don't feel feminine. I used to wear suits, skirts, dresses, nylons and heels to work everyday and just got plain tired of it. Now I love wearing nice jeans, a jacket and heels. That's just where I am right now. I'm a jacket and shoe freak and I add little accessories to feminize. Our styles change as we change. Don't worry you'll find your style. Go out and try on different styles of clothes, but focus on what you really love and don't buy anything unless you really love it. When you put on that outfit that makes you feel good inside you'll know it and it will show on the outside as well.

 

[User35]

feminine isnt a narrow definition of heels,makeup,dresses ect to me personally. To me those are a matter of a lady's personal style. I feel very feminine when I feel powerful. After a good workout and im checking out my curves aaaand muscles lol. After a buliding search or felony traffic stop. And Im sure when I have a baby I will feel super feminine..bringing in a new life to the world is very powerful and ultimately feminine.

 

[n_c]

Feminine does not always equal girly imo. I think you need to find YOUR style (what makes you comfortable) and don't compare yourself to anyone else

 

[Khalia25]

Don't ever compromise. Always be who you are most comfortable being. Just because you're a female, you don't necessarily have to feel feminine. Just feel good about being you. Know what I mean?

I, myself, am the epitome of girly/feminine...BUT..at the same time, there's another side of me that's kind of boyish. When I go to my son's football games, I often feel like suiting up in his gear and tackling and running the ball! LOL. I even once considered joining the womens' football league, but my husband told me I was fooling myself. I might SAY I want to join, but omg...when I looked at those women on the team, they looked SUPER strong, and I know I would've gotten beat down. LOL. I think I just like the idea of being powerful?? I dunno. And I don't know your age, and I didn't notice if your location is mentioned, but if you remember TLC and Aaliyah (that was my era..LOL) I used to LOOOVE to dress like them. I'm generally a girly girl who wears heels and jeans with cute girly tops, but I used to wear the colorful baggy Cross Colors clothing with combat boots when TLC first came out. I still LOVE to wear jeans and a pair of Timberland boots. Of course, I'd don all that "boyish" wear but I'd also pile on the accessories and makeup. I also love motorcycles and fast cars...LOL. So I just like to think of myself as well rounded. The mere fact that you're on Specktra and like make up tells me you ARE feminine, but you're just well rounded....

And I read what you mentioned about your weight. I've gained and lost pounds throughout my years, so I understand the battle with clothing. But don't let your weight get in the way. There are so many clothing retailers that now cater to all sizes. Be the best you can be.

 

[Lauren1981]

i don't think you're immature at all and i'm the same way (and will be 28 in oct.)
i think that whatever comes natural and whatever feels comfortable, you should just do you.
when i was in 5th grade i was in this play and i found out AFTER i begged for the part that my character was supposed to wear a skirt......... my mom got wind of it and was like "you WILL wear this skirt"
i was determined not to
this play was in the winter time and i'm from missouri so the heat was on... do you know the morning of the play i woke up at 5 in the morning and laid down on the floor with my face on the heat grate trying to give myself a fever so i wouldn't have to be in the play?????
...true (and embarrassing) story

i'm still not into dresses and skirts but i'll wear them more often than i did before

 

[makeba]

i know what you mean Willa. i was such a tomboy growing up i think it scared my mom to thinking i may want to be a boy. i hated no i loathed dresses, anything frilly or glitter. i did not like baby dolls and i wanted a football or toy soldiers. i only wore jeans, sweat shirts and t shirts throughout college and i loved it. my mom came to visit me while in college and she told me she would burn up my clothes if i didnt get a skirt or dress in there somewhere!!
i think if you find your own personal style that compliments your inner self you will feel better. for me i find the Boho style the hottest look. i love the hippie style looks also. Bright colors in clothes or makeup do not fit me at all, although i find them super hot on others. to this day i have less dresses than i have pants and its okay. i will pick a bad azz suit over a dress any day. now my 5yr old daughter is super girly and loves dresses and skirts. she even wears them to bed. she will cry if i have a pair of pants out for her to wear and i mean hollar with tears no different from me when i was 5 and didnt want to wear a dress. so its about style. you have some super vixens on this site that will put some fashion pieces together for you. for example, if its shoes
start with Tish cuz her shoe selection is hawt.

 

[ashleyisawesome]

I know what you mean. I'm tall and I always have wanted to wear heels and cute girly clothes, but I always feel like I'm drawing too much attention to myself. I'm jealous of short, petite girls because I know that will never be me. It seems girls like that always look girly and cute, but I have to work at it. I mean I dress up, and I think I can look sexy but I feel like I'll never look "cute".

 

[blazeno.8]

No, you're not alone. I used to feel like that about feminine girly clothes. I still kind of do. I was always flat and tomboyish and never looked like the other girls. I think the only reason I really like makeup is because it's more like "dress up". I don't like wearing it every day. I don't like wearing dresses for the most part, but I will if it's that kind of artistic dress up type character. That's how I'd explain it... if I wear makeup or something dressy, it's more of a character and a game.

 

[chocolategoddes]

Oh, geez. I feel the same way! I don't want to blab on your thread, but I guess I'll share because I see where you're coming from.

I naturally have a very masculine demeanor. I think like a guy. I talk like a guy. I walk like a guy. I shop in the men's department and wear guys' clothing. I've always been this way.

I have a bit of a masculine build, as well. Apart from having huge boobs, I have no curves but really athletic legs and arms.
I think I'm a friendly and approachable person, but I also (like Shimmer said) have an agressive, possibly intimidating presence. I've actually started boxing and I think that just intensifies it even more!

I like to get dolled up and to look pretty, but I feel so much more comfortable being "boyish".

I actually consider myself a gay man in a girl's body. It's the easiest way for me to explain it to people. lol

You just have to have your own definition of what being feminine is. It's not just about high heels, red lipstick, lace, and diamonds. It's about embracing your womanhood.... and loving your vagina.