I don't feel feminine

[User38]

Willa, I agree with all the above posts. You are mature enough to even think you are not mature yet. A truly immature person does not even consider that they are immature.

I don't think that everyone's style is exactly the same and yet we are all feminine -- some girly some less girly and more serene. This all depends on the person.

For myself, I change my style quite a bit. When I work, I am usually in jeans and white or black T shirts and I wear my glasses..lol ( I can't see close up - a hazard of being over 40) When I go out, I will dress in vintage dresses and do big hair.. but this all depends on mood and attitude. Sometimes I go out with my husband (I remarried two years ago!), and I will wear a great blouse with a straight skirt and killer heels.

Remember, nothing is set in stone. Variety is truly the spice of life.. just relax and enjoy whatever it is you do or feel

 

[Willa]

So many answers, thank you a lot girls, means a lot for me.

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Originally Posted by LMD84 I always feel bad compared to one friend of mine who lives in pretty skirts and frilly tops and she always wear lots of nice jewelery but it's just not me!!

Exactly! I used to have these friends who were very girly, and I was jealous not of them, but of the overall look on them. I quickly understood that it wasnt for me.

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Originally Posted by kyoto ...I'm a jacket and shoe freak and I add little accessories to feminize. Our styles change as we change. Don't worry you'll find your style. Go out and try on different styles of clothes, but focus on what you really love and don't buy anything unless you really love it. When you put on that outfit that makes you feel good inside you'll know it and it will show on the outside as well.

I could try with the accessories, I already wear funny earrings everyday (big, colorfull etc...) I'm with on that, when you wear something you're not comfortable in, it shows...!

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Originally Posted by NatalieR429 feminine isnt a narrow definition of heels,makeup,dresses ect to me personally. To me those are a matter of a lady's personal style. I feel very feminine when I feel powerful. After a good workout and im checking out my curves aaaand muscles lol. After a buliding search or felony traffic stop. And Im sure when I have a baby I will feel super feminine..bringing in a new life to the world is very powerful and ultimately feminine.

I know, feminine doesnt absolutely means heels, dresses and such, but let's be honest here : all my life I was told ''why don't you wear skirts? Why don't you wear you hair loose'' etc etc... People like to see a girl, dressed like a girl. And now that I'm a woman, I'm wondering if they were kinda right.

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Originally Posted by n_c Feminine does not always equal girly imo. I think you need to find YOUR style (what makes you comfortable) and don't compare yourself to anyone else

I don't really compare, I just sometimes feel like I missed something

I personnaly love the clothes I wear because they are comfortable, I like my own style, but in some people's opinion, I'm a bit tomboy

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Originally Posted by Khalia25 ... And I don't know your age, and I didn't notice if your location is mentioned, but if you remember TLC and Aaliyah (that was my era..LOL) I used to LOOOVE to dress like them... And I read what you mentioned about your weight. I've gained and lost pounds throughout my years, so I understand the battle with clothing. But don't let your weight get in the way. There are so many clothing retailers that now cater to all sizes. Be the best you can be.

As I said in my first post, I'm about to be 29... I know very well about TLC and Aaliyah, I used to listent to them a lot, and I loved them because they werent too much girly girl lolllll

I loved Aaliyah's style, she was such a beauty.
Here in Montreal, there's not a lot of stores that sells plus sizes, I wear 18. I'm not very into buying online my clothes, I guess the only solution is to continue with my weightloss battle (another subject lolll)

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Originally Posted by Lauren1981 i don't think you're immature at all and i'm the same way (and will be 28 in oct.) i think that whatever comes natural and whatever feels comfortable, you should just do you. when i was in 5th grade i was in this play and i found out AFTER i begged for the part that my character was supposed to wear a skirt......... my mom got wind of it and was like "you WILL wear this skirt" i was determined not to this play was in the winter time and i'm from missouri so the heat was on... do you know the morning of the play i woke up at 5 in the morning and laid down on the floor with my face on the heat grate trying to give myself a fever so i wouldn't have to be in the play????? ...true (and embarrassing) story i'm still not into dresses and skirts but i'll wear them more often than i did before

OMG, you make me remember soooo much myself when I was younger
I'd cried too if I had to wear a skirt, hated that!
I once went to Ausable Chasm with my grandma, and the condition was that I had to wear this stupid ugly fluo orange skirt, with the same damn knitted shirt my grandma made. You girls should see my face on the pictures

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Originally Posted by makeba i know what you mean Willa. i was such a tomboy growing up i think it scared my mom to thinking i may want to be a boy. ... you have some super vixens on this site that will put some fashion pieces together for you. for example, if its shoes start with Tish cuz her shoe selection is hawt.

I wasnt such of a tomboy, I loved playing with my Barbie dolls, I was putting on makeup all the time. It was more in my clothes I guess...

Yeah, Tish got an AMAZING shoe collection!

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Originally Posted by ashleyisawesome I know what you mean. I'm tall and I always have wanted to wear heels and cute girly clothes, but I always feel like I'm drawing too much attention to myself. I'm jealous of short, petite girls because I know that will never be me. It seems girls like that always look girly and cute, but I have to work at it. I mean I dress up, and I think I can look sexy but I feel like I'll never look "cute".

Yeah... I'm 5'7'', and not very petite sized.
I have a big frame, and I'm sure that when I'll lose a lot of weight, the max I can go without looking too thin will be around 140 lbs. I just look at my calf and they are sooo big. I have cyclist calf, I'm telling you! I feel like a giant when I wear heels

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Originally Posted by blazeno.8 No, you're not alone. I used to feel like that about feminine girly clothes. I still kind of do. I was always flat and tomboyish and never looked like the other girls. I think the only reason I really like makeup is because it's more like "dress up". I don't like wearing it every day. I don't like wearing dresses for the most part, but I will if it's that kind of artistic dress up type character. That's how I'd explain it... if I wear makeup or something dressy, it's more of a character and a game.

I love to wear makeup, I just don't have to time to make myself up every morning. I love to sleep and I'm hard to wake up in the morning, it's pathetic to see hahaha But when I take the time too, I usually feel better, smile more... I guess I could wake up sooner, but my man loves to sleep too and my vanity is in the bedroom.

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Originally Posted by chocolategoddes Oh, geez. I feel the same way! I don't want to blab on your thread, but I guess I'll share because I see where you're coming from. I naturally have a very masculine demeanor. I think like a guy. I talk like a guy. I walk like a guy. I shop in the men's department and wear guys' clothing. I've always been this way. ... Remember, nothing is set in stone. Variety is truly the spice of life.. just relax and enjoy whatever it is you do or feel

Ho yeah let's talk about feeling like a boy.
I always felt better around boys/men than girls.
I really dislike girly girl conversations, backstabbing and such.
I feel good in my Timb's, I love my sneakers, my purse is more of a sporty bag... I scare people sometimes, because like Shimmer said, I can sound/look a bit aggressive sometimes, but that's just who I am, it's a part of my personnality, I don't let anyone walk on my feet. I guess it shows in my look

 

[leenybeeny]

I used to always wear really masculine, and almost frumpy clothing. Jeans, and tshirts were pretty much it. I still very rarely ever wear skirts, but I have progressed to cuter tops and it makes me feel more feminine. I also have started buying heels. I only ever used to wear chunky shoes. I do have the blister issue too though. I find it hard to find heels that don't hurt. But anyways, my point is.. if you *want* to feel more feminine.. don't go all out. Pick on thing in your wardrobe to girlie yourself up.. whether it be jewelry, a cute purse, a frilly top with your jeans.. etc. But if you are *comfortable* NOT being girlie.. then so be it! Don't try to change it if you like things the way they are - just because you think other people think you should be more girlie!

 

[aziajs]

I use to cry too when my mom forced me to wear skirts when I was little. I was a super tomboy growing up. I grew out of it around 18/19 and have gotten progressively more feminine.

 

[rbella]

Girl, I hate skirts and dresses. I wear jeans, t's and sweats (God forbid) and you know what? I work that shizz. I'll put on a whole damn face of Miss Universe makeup for the day to wear with my sweats and I march proudly to the nearest Neiman's. I don't give a damn. Fuck anyone who doesn't like my mix of makeup and slouchy clothes. Know what I'm sayin'? If someone gives me a sideways glance, I just assume it is because their pathetic selves cannot pull it off. Work it sister!!

I do, however, shave my legs and pits daily to keep the "girl" thing goin'.

 

[User35]

who cares what people think ??

I sure as hell dont

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

Society defines "feminine" as high heels, dresses, and looking girly. You know what, you are your own version of yourself. You don't have to do all those things in order to be feminine. Forget about the labels. I'm glad you never compromised yourself in order to fit into the definition of "feminine". Love who you are!

As for me, I am the youngest child and the only girl in my family. So for most of my childhood up until the age of 15, I wore my brothers' old clothing. I never liked dresses, heels, or makeup for that matter. I played basketball every chance I got and didn't care to be labeled as a tomboy. I felt comfortable with myself. It wasn't until late high school when I became more "feminine." I don't think I became "feminine" in order to fit into what a young girl "should" be but I was just curious. I go through many transitions in my life but I think I still have a bit of the tomboy-ness inside of me. It makes me who I am and frankly, I am proud of it.

 

[Willa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by leenybeeny I used to always wear really masculine, and almost frumpy clothing. Jeans, and tshirts were pretty much it. I still very rarely ever wear skirts, but I have progressed to cuter tops and it makes me feel more feminine. I also have started buying heels. I only ever used to wear chunky shoes. I do have the blister issue too though. I find it hard to find heels that don't hurt. But anyways, my point is.. if you *want* to feel more feminine.. don't go all out. Pick on thing in your wardrobe to girlie yourself up.. whether it be jewelry, a cute purse, a frilly top with your jeans.. etc. But if you are *comfortable* NOT being girlie.. then so be it! Don't try to change it if you like things the way they are - just because you think other people think you should be more girlie!

Yeah, I'll defenately (sp?) wont go all out on one week

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Originally Posted by aziajs I use to cry too when my mom forced me to wear skirts when I was little. I was a super tomboy growing up. I grew out of it around 18/19 and have gotten progressively more feminine.

I really got more feminine from what I used to be when I was 19 and younger... but there is space for more, that's for sure

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Originally Posted by rbella Girl, I hate skirts and dresses. I wear jeans, t's and sweats (God forbid) and you know what? I work that shizz. I'll put on a whole damn face of Miss Universe makeup for the day to wear with my sweats and I march proudly to the nearest Neiman's. I don't give a damn. Fuck anyone who doesn't like my mix of makeup and slouchy clothes. Know what I'm sayin'? If someone gives me a sideways glance, I just assume it is because their pathetic selves cannot pull it off. Work it sister!! I do, however, shave my legs and pits daily to keep the "girl" thing goin'.

Danelle, you're my hero, love you <3
I do shave my legs too

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Originally Posted by NatalieR429 who cares what people think ?? I sure as hell dont

I'm not the type to care what people say, I'm actually the type to ask them right away when they ''do the look'' at me. It's just that I'd really love to know how it feels to ''feel feminine''... I'm such a relax type of girl.

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Originally Posted by L1LMAMAJ Society defines "feminine" as high heels, dresses, and looking girly. You know what, you are your own version of yourself. You don't have to do all those things in order to be feminine. Forget about the labels. I'm glad you never compromised yourself in order to fit into the definition of "feminine". Love who you are! As for me, I am the youngest child and the only girl in my family. So for most of my childhood up until the age of 15, I wore my brothers' old clothing. I never liked dresses, heels, or makeup for that matter. I played basketball every chance I got and didn't care to be labeled as a tomboy. I felt comfortable with myself. It wasn't until late high school when I became more "feminine." I don't think I became "feminine" in order to fit into what a young girl "should" be but I was just curious. I go through many transitions in my life but I think I still have a bit of the tomboy-ness inside of me. It makes me who I am and frankly, I am proud of it.

Here's the typical me :
I wear jeans and sneakers, comfy shirts, big earrings, makeup when I go out (you've probably all seen my FOTDS). I listen to oldschool hip hop (the early 90's) and funk music.

Here I am :

I'm just asking these questions to myself, and to you here, because I feel like I'm all alone in this ''grown up'' world where all the girls (ladies) of my age dress pretty, don't go out really much anymore (me neither). This, plus the fact that I decided in 2008 that I really wanted to become a Makeup Artist. All these changes are running in my head.

Come on Hélène, grow up a little

I sound like a teenager here (no offense)

 

[makeba]

you have your own personal flare and its sharp and on point! i think that life brings on change in our life and that is good. girl be a Makeup Artist if that is what you want! I know i want to myself. i am lovin that pic of you. i love bangles and big earrings. i pretty much only wear large hoop earrings and wooden bead bracelets!! girl Rock whateva you wish who knows you might start the next fashion trend!!!

 

[Willa]

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Originally Posted by makeba you have your own personal flare and its sharp and on point! i think that life brings on change in our life and that is good. girl be a Makeup Artist if that is what you want! I know i want to myself. i am lovin that pic of you. i love bangles and big earrings. i pretty much only wear large hoop earrings and wooden bead bracelets!! girl Rock whateva you wish who knows you might start the next fashion trend!!!

I just CAN'T go out without my bangles!
Sometimes people ask me if the number of them represent something... o_0
Nope they don't, but I feel naked without it!

Thank you for your comment, you're sweet
Now, my hair is waaaaaaaayyyy shorter, but I still dress a lot like this

 

[LMD84]

sweetie in your picture that is pretty much how i dress each day (when not in work uniform!) jeans are good because they are so comfy! and also random tees and vest tops are simple and also comfy! you look lovely in that picture so don't worry too much!

as i said before i feel the same but equally because i am bigger (bigger than you too!!) i wouldn't look good in some skirts and dresses like my friends. so you were right when you said it's jealousy that they can wear those things rather than of them as people!

 

[pumpkincat210]

You are a girl so you are feminine no matter what. You might be a tomboy, but they are superfun to be around.

 

[lafemmenoir]

Girl, get out of here with that! You are very feminine. Just because you don't rock mini skirts and heels? Pleeease. I'm the polar opposite of you. I have two pairs of jeans and one pair of flats and I always envy women who are androgynous or athletic. I am teased so much for not having any skill in a sport other than maybe waltzing. Seriously, when Angelina Jolie was so sexy for doing stunts and running with a gun and all that, my femininity was really irrelevant because my definition changed and I am not good at running, jeans don't look good on me as I have a huge bum and my legs are long but I'm not tall. All those sexy women in action films, and you want to be Scarlet O'Hara? Girl, rock those jeans and show those men how to play snooker!

 

[Willa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMD84 sweetie in your picture that is pretty much how i dress each day (when not in work uniform!) jeans are good because they are so comfy! and also random tees and vest tops are simple and also comfy! you look lovely in that picture so don't worry too much! as i said before i feel the same but equally because i am bigger (bigger than you too!!) i wouldn't look good in some skirts and dresses like my friends. so you were right when you said it's jealousy that they can wear those things rather than of them as people!

I guess we could be good friends, we seem to think alike

Thank you for your comments, it helps

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Originally Posted by pumpkincat210 You are a girl so you are feminine no matter what. You might be a tomboy, but they are superfun to be around.

I'm not that much of a tomboy, I don't play sports, I don't watch sports, I do girl things, but I don't dress feminine enough IMO. Today I tried one step higher: I'm wearing a short sleeved vest

I look like a lady

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Originally Posted by lafemmenoir Girl, get out of here with that! You are very feminine. Just because you don't rock mini skirts and heels? Pleeease. I'm the polar opposite of you. I have two pairs of jeans and one pair of flats and I always envy women who are androgynous or athletic. I am teased so much for not having any skill in a sport other than maybe waltzing. Seriously, when Angelina Jolie was so sexy for doing stunts and running with a gun and all that, my femininity was really irrelevant because my definition changed and I am not good at running, jeans don't look good on me as I have a huge bum and my legs are long but I'm not tall. All those sexy women in action films, and you want to be Scarlet O'Hara? Girl, rock those jeans and show those men how to play snooker!

Thank you

I'm supposed to check out some websites with my man, he wants to buy me some heels... I get to chose
I said something like... Louboutin... He said no

 

[ginger9]

Hey Willa, I'm jumping on this thread a bit late but you sound just like me! I was just the same as a child, I would cry and bawl over wearing a dress. I looked and dressed like a boy and refused to let me mother brush my boy hair. I was a total tomboy - played in the mud and fought with boys. To be honest the tomboy is still in me, I still like to kick boys asses!

I'm older than you, in my 30s now and I'm really enjoying what it means to be a woman. I grew out of looking like a boy physically but mentally it was much later. I admit I am most comfortable and at easy in jeans and T-shirts, heck I still wear overalls when I go prancing in the park with my dog. But I am embracing the woman in me and discovering things such as how much l like the color pink

. These days I "clean up real good" but I'd say I fair more on the sexy side of womanhood than the ultra feminine. Tomboys generally grow that way

So cheers to gals that rock in their own special way and in their own time.

 

[Willa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ginger9 So cheers to gals that rock in their own special way and in their own time.

Love love LOVE this quote!!!