I hate his fiancee

[xIxSkyDancerxIx]

Maybe your brother just likes that kind of thing?? LoL.. or maybe she just treats him A LOTTTT better than everyone else which is what makes him not see the other things she's doing.. She might be treating your brother super well and start acting like she's Miss Princess and demand things when his back is turned... *shrug..

I think you should talk to her and put her down a notch (not in a bad way of course) but just let her know that her behavior is rude and it's not acceptable.. and if she doesn't listen and just ignores you I think that's the time you go to your brother and/or parents when they get back..

Tell them you tried talking to your SIL maturely about her behavior (be specific) and that she did NOT listen to anything you said.. then it won't seem like you're whining and complaining to them..




.. Though I'd probably slap her silly and grind her to the floor.. *innocent look*

*huggs.. Hang in there

 

[glueme]

Quote:

I just don't want to see my brother marry someone like this. They met in college, she's a f**king photography major and he's going to med school next year. Hello, wtf?!

Sorry, this just hit a nerve so I had to pull it out of your rant. I don't see how their educational backgrounds is any sort of moral judgment factor of someone's personality or intentions. There is absolutely no difference between a person passionately pursuing a medical degree or a person passionately pursuing a photography degree, is there? Can't people in the arts be with people in the sciences - in many cases, they aren't they fundamentaly different.

Look, I understand where you're coming from, and I can see how horrible your brother's fiance is. I'm on your side, but I just needed to point out this unessecary comment, because it's offhand comments like these that perpetuate the idea of a professional ladder system.

That said, in this case, I'm rooting for you. Good luck with this girl.

 

[user79]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma_Frost I just don't want to see my brother marry someone like this. They met in college, she's a f**king photography major and he's going to med school next year. Hello, wtf?!

Um sorry but, what does THAT have to do with anything? So since he's going to med school he shouldn't marrying someone who is going to be a photographer? That's kind of a shallow point of view, don't you think?

I understand you are having issues with her but I didn't see the validity of this statement.

 

[kaliraksha]

Yikes, that is a sticky situation. I honestly feel like if you love him then you are happy for him and support his decisions and that's where it ends. No need for conversation unless he heartfully asks for your opinion and even so spare his feelings. I know that you may not agree with his choice and truly dislike her... but talking to him would accomplish nothing that you wanted. What you fear you create. Especially this close to the wedding- why put more stress on the person you love?

I'm sorry. In all honesty she sounds pretty bad- but a lot of people have manners unlike our own and she may have her reasons for being the way she is. What you should and can do is make sure she respects you.

I've been on all sides of this yucky triangle- the hater, the hated, the hated's significant other. No conversation in any of these situations helped anyone. Once my best friend hated me SO and I had to tell her at the end of my wits that I just wanted her to be a friend and support my decisions. My SO's parents are truly afraid of me and dislike me but everytime they bring it up he resents them more and draws back and sticks up for me which makes him closer to me =/

The best thing you can do for someone you love is let them make their own mistakes. Good luck with that wedding!

 

[thenovice]

My family is in a similar situation- not quite as bad however. My cousin is marrying a complete bitch- and his mother HATES her. Actually the entire family does. All of us- but, its his life. Its his choice.

If you brother is happy- then let him be. Its not you life, and its not your decision to make. Hes in love- whether he is blinded by it or not isn't the point. He loves her- he wants to marry her. Its not entirely fair to tell him how to live his life.

Courters made a very valid point- and that is a calm and adult way to go about discussing this with your brother. But, you have to give examples of what she did to you. Not what she did to other people. If they have a large problem with her as well, they can go about it in their own way. Its not your place to tell him for them.

It is your staff, and you can designate what they do and what they don't do. If she is footing the bill for the staff- then they have to do what she says. If not, she can do it herself. Its not her staff. And if they have a problem with her- have them come to you. And you can ask her very nicely and assertively to not approach the staff that way. That if she wants something done of them, then she needs to treat them like human beings.

Everything you do has to be calm, friendly, and warm even. You have to be switzerland. You can't just outright say that you hate her and tell her off. That creates a larger problem among your family. And if you have a problem, you handle it in an adult manner. Or, you leave it alone.

I understand that you care for you family- but there is little you can do without being the bad guy. Good luck.

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous Um sorry but, what does THAT have to do with anything? So since he's going to med school he shouldn't marrying someone who is going to be a photographer? That's kind of a shallow point of view, don't you think? I understand you are having issues with her but I didn't see the validity of this statement.

I don't hate her because of her career path. She's a leech with no source of income. And also, my parents are not supposed to be paying for EVERYTHING in this wedding. I think it's kind of unfair she hasn't even asked hers to pay for anything (to my knowledge... she could have, but from what I understand my parents are covering everything).

Lately, she's been running up huge on his cards and only recently has my father confronted her about "wasteful spending" on them (i.e. tens of thousands of dollars on clothing that's NOT for the wedding). If you're wondering how I know, my brother asked me if I told father about it. Um, no. I don't get the bills and I was in Europe.

Whatever. I can't wait until she's out of the house!! Only one week until the wedding (small ceremony on our yacht, 39 people attending not counting the bridal party/groomsmen).

 

[frocher]

....

 

[user79]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma_Frost I don't hate her because of her career path. She's a leech with no source of income. And also, my parents are not supposed to be paying for EVERYTHING in this wedding. I think it's kind of unfair she hasn't even asked hers to pay for anything (to my knowledge... she could have, but from what I understand my parents are covering everything). Lately, she's been running up huge on his cards and only recently has my father confronted her about "wasteful spending" on them (i.e. tens of thousands of dollars on clothing that's NOT for the wedding). If you're wondering how I know, my brother asked me if I told father about it. Um, no. I don't get the bills and I was in Europe. Whatever. I can't wait until she's out of the house!! Only one week until the wedding (small ceremony on our yacht, 39 people attending not counting the bridal party/groomsmen).

Leeches can only be leeches if they have someone to sucker off. Your parents especially shouldn't stand for that type of behaviour, why are they even prepared to pay for all this? For every person that takes advantage of someone, there is someone who lets themelves be taken advantage of. I think your parents should put their foot down stop paying for all this stuff...

Well, soon she'll be out of your hair so at least you have that to look forward to.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Not that I wish anything bad upon your brother or his soon to be wife, but it sounds like money is going to be an issue for them. Money is a notorious way of ending marriages.

I do wish the best for all parties involved.