I met a nice guy online, but there's one problem...

[bebs]

I don't really know.. in the past, I dated guys who were really great looking but their personalitys blew and a few were just egocentric and others just stupid amongst other things.

I ended up marrying a guy.. not the best looking of the bunch but the best personality, and up to the problems we are now having being physically attracted did happen as I fell in love with him.

but we are all different and if you do not feel its good then don't waste eachother's time and get it out there on the table. I'm sure some other girl would like the nice guy.

 

[mona lisa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tricky Yeah, I did just get out of a relationship, but that isn't why I'm not physically attracted to him. Right now I have a f**k buddy, so its not that I'm scared to get physically close to someone (not this guy, my f**k buddy is a different guy). The thing is he is a bit overweight and I always am attracted to slender guys. He has a ok face, but when I look at him I don't feel the urge to kiss him or anything. But, I'll go out with him again and see what happens.

Heck, I would say go out with him two more times. Even if he is a bit overweight, that is not something unfixable and if he lost some weight, his face would slim out a bit and you may find that "ok" face looking much better than "ok."

We all complain about how hard it is to find someone and then we all frequently eliminate from consideration others on less than substantial reasons. Sometimes it takes time to get to know someone and attraction can develop where previously it was not present.

Often those we are attracted to instantly are not the best people for us to be going out with anyway -I am not saying this is the guy for you but give it at least a couple more dates. Even if it means you only remain friends, there is nothing wrong with that now is there? (As long as that boundary is understood and respected by both parties involved of course.)

 

[tricky]

Well, an update for you all. I've now gone on 5 dates with him. We are now to the point that we text and chat and talk on the phone every day (we joke & tease all day long). Last 3 times we went out, we kissed/ made out. He is super funny & sweet. I'm defintely not ready for anything serious but I am having fun. I still don't look at him & want to jump his bones or anything (like I am with my F buddy), but the kissing is nice. I'm enjoying being single & having fun now.

 

[pumpkincat210]

I'd try to overlook the overweight thing before kicking him to the curb. maybe you guys could do something physical together that you both enjoy. Or he may even introduce you to his super hot friend down the road, you never know. It's hard to find nice people in the world, so don't push him away solely on the way he looks, that can be changed with excercise or perception. a bad personality is much harder to change.

 

[ellienellie]

I agree with the majority here, I say, stick with it for the time being at least.

The attraction may grow.
External appearance can be altered, but if he's a really nice guy on the inside (where it matters) He may be worth hanging on to!

I'm not saying the physical side doesn't matter. Course it does, but unless you find him grotesque and cannot ever imagine being intimate with him, (if you do feel that way - I'd say be honest with him(not about finding him gross!) - but that you value his friendship but aren't interested in anything more.
Don't keep him hanging on if you know 100% that you'll never be attracted to him.

Hopefully the worst case scenario is you two end up being good friends - or just amicably go your separate ways.

 

[tricky]

Yesterday he came over to my house. We watched movies, had some drinks, and he cooked for me! He brought me a little gift (we have this running inside joke and the gift was related to that). He is really a sweetheart. There was some serious making out and cuddling going on. It was super hot and passionate. I was really turned on and wanted to have sex but I held back because I feel like I'd rather hold off with him unlike I did with my F buddy. So yeah physically I feel like something is there now, but I am newly single so I am really not trying to get into a relationship right now. I just hope he is understanding of that. He knows the story with my ex and he knows that I still have a lot of anger towards my ex so I think he knows I'm not ready for a relationship now.

 

[jasminbarley]

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