i'm hurt

[noahlowryfan]

so my mom just called me stupid for something so small. has any of your family members called you stupid before and it makes your self-esteem go lower. whenever my family calls me stupid, it makes me thinks that i am stupid thats why i have such low self-esteem. it really hurts my feelings. hearing stupid makes me think that i am also stupid that i can't even find a job. right now, i just want to commit suicide so see how they feel for calling me stupid.

 

[SkylarV217]

Some times people we love are the most hurtful. Most of the times that a person in our family makes us feel so small , It's because they are insecure themselves. Tearing you down makes them feel bigger. I'm sorry that your family treats you like you are stupid. I'm sure that you are a very intelligent women.

 

[noahlowryfan]

after what she said, i hate my mom so much. she has been saying i'm stupid so many times today. i feel like just dying now so i don't have to be hurt. i'm going to skip dinner today and cry myself to sleep.

 

[User93]

Sometimes our closes ppl hurt us just because they care so much and because they want to be better and better. My grandparents do that a lot, we gather with them every Sunday for the dinner together and my Grandma critises me here and there. and once i got a bad mark at college and they were talking about it all the way around, saying "we hope she gonna make it", but it was pissing me of and i was so stressed :/ I fixed everything, but i asked them later why they were always stressing me like that, and they said thats because they care, because they want me not to make any mistakes and not to get hurted!
Parents also have that habit of paying attention to little things, like your Mom calling you stupid for something small. She basicly believes she is just warning you, trying to protect you, trying to keep you away from mistakes. They are just extremely obessed by making us perfect. Your Mom loves you and cares, but she accidently hurts you by that.

 

[noahlowryfan]

well, how my mom said it, it doesn't looks like she cares. if she cares so much, then why she keep repeating "oh how stupid can you be" over and over again. that doesn't sound like she cares.

 

[User93]

She repeats so cause our parents also take our mistakes way more serious than their own. She believes that she is warning you, preventing you from doing something that can hurt you. She is just in a rush and cant understand she hurts you by doing that. People tend to hurt the most important people for them the most :/
I would suggest you talking with Mom in a nice calm manner. just honestly telling that the way she acts make you feel down & miserable. Tell her her opinion means a lot to you, that you dont wanna be stupid or bad for her, and that the way she shows her feelings hurt you more than any posible mistake you make.

 

[macface]

PM me if you want to talk I have been in your shoes.

 

[girlsaidwhat]

Listen.
I bet your mom doesn't actually mean to hurt you.
She's just ...broken. Like most of us.

I wouldn't be surprised if her parents did the same to her, and she grew up feeling...not important, not loved, not seen or understood or really cared for.

I feel sad for her. And I feel sad for you.
Just because she doesn't have the ability to /see/ you and /nurture/ you...doesn't mean that you aren't amazing, lovable. You deserve better, and you know it inside....which is where the pain hits, and the anger. Your mom deserved better too, than what she got.

Most of us were born to broken parents, and most of us were/are not nurtured into our best potentials. You have your own little beautiful unique set of potentials and it's your job to figure out what that is and how you want it to manifest while you're here.

The truth is that suicide is /always/ an option, you can do it at any time you really want to, so ...you may as well stick around and just work on being the best you you can be, while you're here. It /is possible/ for you to learn to love yourself, despite your mother or anyone else who thinks it's ok to step on you or put you down because of their own issues. You can become stronger....better....for having to figure it out and work on it, for you...because you deserve it. But it's a fight, the fight of your life.

You're worth fighting for. Prove it to yourself.

(Best of luck!)

 

[Obreathemykiss]

I don't think suicide is the answer. Trust me, girlie, I've been through a lot of times in my life where I felt like dying or something horrible happening to me would just make all of the hurt and pain go away. I'm sure your mother doesn't realize the torment she's putting you through, but you need to be the bigger person and rise above her criticizing you. I truely believe we were placed on this earth to do something-and even if everyone around you is doubting you or putting you down, you owe it to yourself to find out what you're worth and what your purpose is. I know how hard it is to be called bad names and put down by the people you love the most, it is a stab in the chest. In the long run, the bullshit only makes you stronger. I hope that you take care of yourself. Please PM me if you need to talk to someone. You could even call me if you wanted to. I am concerned by your statements, I think that you should really talk to someone.

 

[rbella]

Sweetie I am so sorry.

Please PM me if you need to talk. I don't like the words "I feel like committing suicide" coming from you. Please know that you have so many other options. I know you were probably just venting, but you need to get help if it's that serious for you.

I'm here and willing to talk should you need a shoulder. You deserve better than that and don't let anyone, not even your mother, make you feel stupid. What beats us down will always lift us up and make us stronger once we rise above it. And this, you will rise above!

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

Just came to give you some *HUGS*

 

[CantAffordMAC]

I've been through things like that. i've been called a fat ass by my sister, and dumb by others. plus when I am telling a story to my mom half the time she doesnt listen...I think we get 10x as sensitive when its our family talking about us. I understand how you feel. It makes you feel awful

I hope things get better for you. Sometimes a good cry is all we need

 

[LOCa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantAffordMAC I've been through things like that. i've been called a fat ass by my sister, and dumb by others. plus when I am telling a story to my mom half the time she doesnt listen...I think we get 10x as sensitive when its our family talking about us. I understand how you feel. It makes you feel awful I hope things get better for you. Sometimes a good cry is all we need

I Feel You On The Fat Ass Thing.
N Im Not Even That Fat. LOL.


Just Call Her Stupid Back N Give Her The Bird.
Thats How I Get Even.

 

[noahlowryfan]

i know that suicide isn't the answer. if i wasn't afraid of dying, i would have been dead years ago.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Obreathemykiss I don't think suicide is the answer. Trust me, girlie, I've been through a lot of times in my life where I felt like dying or something horrible happening to me would just make all of the hurt and pain go away. I'm sure your mother doesn't realize the torment she's putting you through, but you need to be the bigger person and rise above her criticizing you. I truely believe we were placed on this earth to do something-and even if everyone around you is doubting you or putting you down, you owe it to yourself to find out what you're worth and what your purpose is. I know how hard it is to be called bad names and put down by the people you love the most, it is a stab in the chest. In the long run, the bullshit only makes you stronger. I hope that you take care of yourself. Please PM me if you need to talk to someone. You could even call me if you wanted to. I am concerned by your statements, I think that you should really talk to someone.

 

[*Stargazer*]

Calling you stupid isn't acceptable. Your mother is obviously frustrated by something but that isn't an excuse for belittling you and excusing it as something well intentioned is BS.

Next time she tells you that you are stupid, tell you that you aren't and that you are tired of her belittling you. Then remind yourself over and over again that you aren't stupid and that no one can dictate your self worth to you. Then ignore her. Easier said than done, I know, but keep working on it and soon you will be your own best advocate.

 

[glassy girl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi She repeats so cause our parents also take our mistakes way more serious than their own. She believes that she is warning you, preventing you from doing something that can hurt you. She is just in a rush and cant understand she hurts you by doing that. People tend to hurt the most important people for them the most :/ I would suggest you talking with Mom in a nice calm manner. just honestly telling that the way she acts make you feel down & miserable. Tell her her opinion means a lot to you, that you dont wanna be stupid or bad for her, and that the way she shows her feelings hurt you more than any posible mistake you make.

Wow Alibi u are so wise 4 being so young. Any how Noahlowryfan i can honestly say ur mother loves u. I dont think she thinks ur stupid it's what u did was stupid. I was young once to and i did alot of crazy and stupid things and not until i became an adult i realized how dumb i actully behaved and i always thought i had the most meanest parents in the world but u no what i was wrong. I wish u could understand that us as parents make mistakes and sometimes are as stupid as we say are kids are but we love u more than u will ever know. Noahlowryfan u will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[SingFrAbsoltion]

I wish I could give you advice but I'm in the same exact situation(no job, mom always calls me names)

hang in there

 

[glassy girl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOCa I Feel You On The Fat Ass Thing. N Im Not Even That Fat. LOL. Just Call Her Stupid Back N Give Her The Bird. Thats How I Get Even.

Noahlowryfan don't do this she is still ur mother and 2 wrongs don't make a right!

 

[Obreathemykiss]

Quote:

Originally Posted by noahlowryfan i know that suicide isn't the answer. if i wasn't afraid of dying, i would have been dead years ago.

I think that you are failing to see how beautiful life can really be. It took me many years to finally figure it out. I wasn't exactly in the same situation that you are in, but there are certain things that happened to me that to this day affect me in some way, shape, or form. I am not therapist, and forgive me if I'm completely in the wrong by saying this, but it seems to me if you're afraid of dying, you don't want to die and you want to take advantage of the rest of your life. I think that by you stating you wanted to commit suicide, you were looking for an "out" to this situation you have with your family and you want to make them feel some sort of resentment. In the long run, I understand your mother has hurt you many times, but I don't think that guilt would solve this problem. I don't think realizing she has lost her daughter over nonsense would make life any easier. You may or may have not done this, but I suggest you talk to your mother about the way she makes you feel. You could write her a letter or sit her down. You need to make her hear you out. You're a human being and you deserve to be treated like one! If she doesn't make changes to the way she is insulting you, your best option at the point is to rise above it. Ignoring the negativity and seeking love from others will save you. We're all here for you and we love you. We don't want you to feel badly. How old are you? I'm sure you'll be an adult soon. I think that you should really seek some counseling for this as well. In the end, you just need to get yourself to the right mindset, regardless of who's hurting you. Don't ever let someone else bring you down.

 

[pumpkincat210]

My favorite grandma used to pinch me and call me fat right after i had a baby. It made me feel pretty bad. Don't let your mom get you down so much. You just have to say "fuck it" in your head and know that you are trying your hardest and that you aren't stupid.