Insensitive friends?

[VaJenna]

just need to rant a bit, because i can't do it on my livejournal that they all read.

my roommate committed suicide on august 26th. the day i found out, i was with a friend, and she was so amazing, there for me and everything. but besides that, my supposed best friends didn't really offer any support, and my best friend only acknowledged what was going on while drunk dialing me one night. i'm doing better, but i'm not ok yet. i just found out that another friend just lost a friend, probably to suicide. now, all of my friends seem to be offering her support, that i felt i never got. i dont really know what i'm supposed to do, i dont like to confront these people, but it feels like nobody really stopped to ask how i was doing, or even now, ask if i'm ok..

any suggestions???

 

[MACreation]

I think maybe they don't know you're that hurt? You might be hiding it well....but i think they are crazy to not be there for you at a very sad sad time

You might need to ask them, hey....i need support and comfort right now! I'm so sorry you had to go through that

 

[Hawkeye]

wow. *HUGS* i am so sorry for your loss.

That's horrible

Don't confront them just yet. It's a hard pill to swallow and you know maybe they didnt realize how much this loss has affected you? *HUGS*

I don't know what else to say but we're here for you if you need us.

 

[mspixieears]

Wow, I'm so sorry you have to go through that, and that you feel your friends aren't offering the support you feel you need.

Perhaps they actually think that you're coping remarkably well or they don't want to mention it because they think it might upset you?

To illustrate, I'll put my neck on the line..

It really pisses me off when a few of my close friends tell me "Wow, you cracked it all of a sudden" meaning, I've had a 'nutjob episode' (I suffer from depression). Er, no, actually, I've been slowly getting worse, it's just that they either ignore or just plain don't notice. In particular, I have one friend who is so distressed by my distress (almost funny, isn't it?) that s/he does actually act like nothing has happened. Which irritates me, though I know it's a defence mechanism. I ended up having to tell that person I cannot see/speak to them at present.

I suggest this not as 'the answer' but because it will hopefully genuinely help - perhaps consider talking to a counsellor or psychologist? Tell them what you told us - about your feelings towards your friends and perhaps they can suggest how you can approach the topic with your friends, and when they have a better idea, they can offer support.

They could just be not-so-nice people, but my guess is they just don't know what to do at this stage but want to reach out.

I know having us here online isn't the same as having people you need in 'real life' but I heartily reiterate youbeabitch's last sentence above.

Don't let anyone rush you into feeling better. You take all the time you need. It's ok, really.