sexiplayful
Member
does he acts this way with friends and family when you are around him? if so i would think something is not right.
Is my Boyfriend embarrassed of me??!!!
- Thread starter angeluv009
- Start date
Leopardskinny
Well-known member
Well I just had to have my say in this one. Mostly because I have been here. I had been going out with this guy for 3 months (yeah it is hardly eight years I know) and everything was great. Long story short, he was never being obvious that e were together- like in public careful not to hug me or anything. Like you said, I also am not exactly ugly. I later found out he was seeing his ex girlfriend again.
It may not be like that for you though. What I would do, is say to him that if he doesn't get his ass in gear and treat you like his g/f then you are walking. From what I can tell from your posts you seem to be a nice person and you deserve to be treated well. I would just adress the issue outright- totally honest.
Some guys like the attention from women when they are in a relationship because it makes them feel like they are single again whilest in the security of a relationship. It is like the thrill of flirting, but at the same time having a g/f to come home to at the end of the day. You need to either get him to treat you right and be proud of you, or get rid of him. Just trust your gut feeling and do what you think is the right thing. Just don't let yourself be trodden on because your worth a lot more than that
It may not be like that for you though. What I would do, is say to him that if he doesn't get his ass in gear and treat you like his g/f then you are walking. From what I can tell from your posts you seem to be a nice person and you deserve to be treated well. I would just adress the issue outright- totally honest.
Some guys like the attention from women when they are in a relationship because it makes them feel like they are single again whilest in the security of a relationship. It is like the thrill of flirting, but at the same time having a g/f to come home to at the end of the day. You need to either get him to treat you right and be proud of you, or get rid of him. Just trust your gut feeling and do what you think is the right thing. Just don't let yourself be trodden on because your worth a lot more than that
S.S.BlackOrchid
Well-known member
I am the kind of person that likes to keep my work and personal life separate. I tend to be more distant when I'm at work. But I don't see the reason for not keeping your picture on his desk, making you wait outside, etc. And from your post, I get the idea that he wasn't always this way, so that would make me wonder. You should talk to him about it.
puncturedskirt
Well-known member
He definitely sounds like he's trying to appear available.
AmberLilith
Well-known member
Sounds to me like it's more to do with the views the people at work have of him... find out more about them from him? I'm sure you'll know if he's reluctant to mention anything etc.
I don't think he's embarrassed because of you, more maybe that he doesn't want to admit to being in a relationship. If he didn't act this way before, when working with different people, that suggests it's not you.
I hope you can talk this through with him and work it out -we all have our insecurities sometimes and it's probably best to get it out in the open and work through it.
All the best hon!
PS: sorry if this's all been said, just wanted to write it while i remembered what i wanted to say... reading the rest of the thread now
I don't think he's embarrassed because of you, more maybe that he doesn't want to admit to being in a relationship. If he didn't act this way before, when working with different people, that suggests it's not you.
I hope you can talk this through with him and work it out -we all have our insecurities sometimes and it's probably best to get it out in the open and work through it.
All the best hon!
PS: sorry if this's all been said, just wanted to write it while i remembered what i wanted to say... reading the rest of the thread now
candidilyme
Active member
Well, i agree with what some people have said about it being unprofessional to have a spouse or visitors in general to just pop in the bank to visit so it depends if you were there to visit or were there to pick him up after work or something.By not letting you in the branch, it's either him not wanting you to meet his coworkers or not wanting his coworkers meet you. However, with everything else that's been going on (i.e. not bringing your picture to put in his cubicle), to me something is definetly fishy. I mean, you guys have been together for 8 years so i know there's history but you should confront him about this and not just hold it in b/c if he is cheating or wanting to cheat, he doesn't deserve you and if he's not cheating but something else is bothering him, i'm pretty sure you'd like to know.
i hope things work out for you.
i hope things work out for you.
Loveleighe
Well-known member
my question is did he just gradaute college recently? Is this like the early start of his career meaning like his first or second big job since getting his degree?
the reason i asked if beause the same thing just happened to my bestfriend. She and her boyfriend were sweethearts from highschool thru college and i mean they were best best friends as well as lovers. They had plans to get serious and marry in five years after graduation and all that stuff but he went through something about 6 months after graduation she leaving him messages begging him to call her which is different from the usual 900 messages she got from him a day. So anyway by month 8 after graduation he landed a big job and was refusing to visit her. somewhere around the end of the month i think he finally worked up enough courage to break up with her. It wasnt because he did not love her because they both knew they loved each other heart and soul but i think he took graduation as a major change in his life that changed his point of view of their relationship and his life in general. he started thinking that the things he wanted in life didn't coincide with what he thought she was firm on and he stopped talking to her as a way to avoid having to break her heart. needless to say he was dating a month later but i believe he geniunely had a change of heart and that may be what your boyfriend is going through and why he wants to seem available.
the reason i asked if beause the same thing just happened to my bestfriend. She and her boyfriend were sweethearts from highschool thru college and i mean they were best best friends as well as lovers. They had plans to get serious and marry in five years after graduation and all that stuff but he went through something about 6 months after graduation she leaving him messages begging him to call her which is different from the usual 900 messages she got from him a day. So anyway by month 8 after graduation he landed a big job and was refusing to visit her. somewhere around the end of the month i think he finally worked up enough courage to break up with her. It wasnt because he did not love her because they both knew they loved each other heart and soul but i think he took graduation as a major change in his life that changed his point of view of their relationship and his life in general. he started thinking that the things he wanted in life didn't coincide with what he thought she was firm on and he stopped talking to her as a way to avoid having to break her heart. needless to say he was dating a month later but i believe he geniunely had a change of heart and that may be what your boyfriend is going through and why he wants to seem available.
mustardgirl
Well-known member
I just wanted to add my own 2 cents here because I've been in a similar situation in the past although my own experience is way different than what's already been said. If you have a "hunch" or "feeling" (or as others put it that 6th sense) something is wrong, do not ignore it and say something. You don't have to leave the guy (he might have a legit reason like others have stated) but usually, if you feel something is off and not right then it usually is. Try to talk it out with him and let him know exactly how you feel about it and see how he responds. If he's still being fishy to you, walk away because you deserve someone better. I wish someone had told me this when I went through my problems with an ex in the past but yeah - at least I can pass this on to you now
zzoester
Well-known member
1. Trust your instincts. Period. I learned this the hard way. (at least I'm happy now...)
2. Don't jump to conclusions too quickly...Communicate with him first. If he is unwilling to be open and honest with you in regards to WHY his behavior while he is at work changes, that raises other issues of concern as well. Be prepared to stand up for yourself and realize that could mean making some difficult decisions about your relationship.
Good luck!!
2. Don't jump to conclusions too quickly...Communicate with him first. If he is unwilling to be open and honest with you in regards to WHY his behavior while he is at work changes, that raises other issues of concern as well. Be prepared to stand up for yourself and realize that could mean making some difficult decisions about your relationship.
Good luck!!
angeluv009
Well-known member
I just found how to use the multi quote feature. so yeah!
I want to start by sincerely thanking everyone who responed to this post, it really does mean a lot to me and I take everyones advice to heart. so really thank you soo sooo soo much guys!
So back to the bf dramazzz, well he did take the picture to work without me asking. I still thought it was important that we did speak and I told him how I felt in a serious manner. So far so good so let's see how it goes.
I really do believe that he wanted to appear available and now he's been at work long enough not to lie about a relationship. I'll keep everyone updated!
Quote:
no he definightly doesn't act like that around his other friends and family. Thanks!
Quote:
It isn't his first job, but it does mean a lot to him. THanks!
Quote:
Oh im such a jump to conclusions kinda person, so thanks a lot for pointing that out!
somtimes you forget about your personality flaws....
I want to start by sincerely thanking everyone who responed to this post, it really does mean a lot to me and I take everyones advice to heart. so really thank you soo sooo soo much guys!
So back to the bf dramazzz, well he did take the picture to work without me asking. I still thought it was important that we did speak and I told him how I felt in a serious manner. So far so good so let's see how it goes.
I really do believe that he wanted to appear available and now he's been at work long enough not to lie about a relationship. I'll keep everyone updated!
Quote:
Originally Posted by sexiplayful
does he acts this way with friends and family when you are around him? if so i would think something is not right. |
no he definightly doesn't act like that around his other friends and family. Thanks!
Quote:
| Originally Posted by Loveleighe
my question is did he just gradaute college recently? Is this like the early start of his career meaning like his first or second big job since getting his degree? |
It isn't his first job, but it does mean a lot to him. THanks!
Quote:
| Originally Posted by zzoester
1. Trust your instincts. Period. I learned this the hard way. (at least I'm happy now...) 2. Don't jump to conclusions too quickly...Communicate with him first. If he is unwilling to be open and honest with you in regards to WHY his behavior while he is at work changes, that raises other issues of concern as well. Be prepared to stand up for yourself and realize that could mean making some difficult decisions about your relationship. Good luck!! |
Oh im such a jump to conclusions kinda person, so thanks a lot for pointing that out!
Amber*Christine
Well-known member
You know I thought the same exact thing when all of a sudden my boyfriend didn't wanna take me to parties, work events or around his friends...it made me feel sooo low, I seriously questioned what was wrong w/ me. Turns out he had some co-worker slut who he had been screwing behind my back going these places w/ him. So there really wasn't anything wrong w/ me, he was just a self centered whore and he couldn't very well have both of us there could he? I dunno if your man is up to no good but it seems like a possibility as I thought my ex was the LAST person who would ever betray me...
stacylynne
Well-known member
Sounds to me he either wants to appear available or he's seeing someone from his job.
If you are together for 8 years I would talk it out with him & communicate how you feel & from your stand point of view.
Tell him to put himself in your shoes & what would he think if the shoe was on the other foot...
If you are together for 8 years I would talk it out with him & communicate how you feel & from your stand point of view.
Tell him to put himself in your shoes & what would he think if the shoe was on the other foot...
amishmethlab
Well-known member
I actually ran this scenario by my fiance. This was his take, since I figured it might be helpful to have a guy's take. Realize that he is a guy and speaks bluntly, so I didn't rewrite it but I'll try to explain.
"It really looks like he wants to appear available. This could be for a variety of reasons; maybe his boss is a female and he wants to be in her good graces. If you've been together that long you should be able to speak freely and try to get to the bottom of what is going on."
"It really looks like he wants to appear available. This could be for a variety of reasons; maybe his boss is a female and he wants to be in her good graces. If you've been together that long you should be able to speak freely and try to get to the bottom of what is going on."
Amber*Christine
Well-known member
I know the post is old, but I figured I'd post just incase some other girl may be going thru the same thing
...seeing as how I did, it can't be that rare.
