I've never been so angry and confused

[IDontKnowMomo]

I'm a senior in high school and I've been planning on going to a cosmetology here in my town for a while. My parents have always agreed to pay for school and help me with whatever I want to do. My friends family in Minnesota has offered to come let me live with them while I attend the Aveda school in Minneapolis, which is, needless to say, way better than the school in my hometown. I'm so grateful to have such an awesome opportunity; The school is amazing and I would love to move. My parents on the other hand, won't help me at all if I move up there. The school in Minneapolis only costs 2000 dollars more than the school here, and having the Aveda name on my resume could definitely help push my career. My parents think it's a bad idea, and the main thing that their arguments keep coming down to, is that they won't be there to take care of me, so I shouldn't go. I have absolutely no money to my name right now, and I was in a terrible wreck mid-November so if I were to get I job I'd never have a sure way of getting there. I'd really love to go to Minnieapolis but I'm not sure what kind of a bind I would be in when it comes to loans for schoo afterwards.
So I need some advice. Should I take out loans and move or stay here and live with my parents like they want me to?

I'm so upset that they have always promised to pay for school, and now that I get this opportunity they refuse to. I haven't gotten out of bed in like the past three days to eat or bathe or anything :[ It definitely doesn't help that less than a month ago I switched over to Zoloft because Celexa had stopped working for me. The Zoloft hasn't effected me yet.
I really don't know what to do. It just offends me so much that my parents are willing to help me here, where I wouldn't need it, but if I were to move and need their help, they refuse to. It doesn't make any sense to me. I wouldn't be moving until July, because even though I don't have any classes, I can't get my diploma until May.

 

[elegant-one]

As a parent who put a child through three college degrees, my opinion would be to you, that you need to follow your dreams & talents! And, if you are given any opportunity...you must follow it.

No offense to your parents, but parents need to let their children go, grow up, and make their own decisions so they can turn into responsible adults. Where I live, kids stay at home with their parents like forever thus stunting their growth & they never end up doing anything with their lives.

Our son left to go to college because of a dream, talent & opportunity and like others that did, they end up usually flourishing. This is just what we as parents witnessed over time.

Honey, if I were your mother, I would love you enough to support you & send you on your way to grow up into your opportunity

 

[Skin*Deep]

I will tell you loans stink. bad. Can you begin applying for any grants or scholarships? can you get a used car when you get there and take an evening job to help pay for it? will the school allow you to make payments or muct you pay the full tuition at once? I have always done what I wanted to do and I hate to see anyone be or do something they don't want to because of resources, etc....your parents are probably terrified. you are their baby, and being far away is scary. they cannot protect you, they cannot watch you. I have a feeling the money is only a bartering chip to keep their little girl close, maybe a good long talk at a time everyone is calm would help....or maybe if they realize you really intend on going, they will rethink helping you. I doubt they want to make their life difficult. good luck!

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elegant-one As a parent who put a child through three college degrees, my opinion would be to you, that you need to follow your dreams & talents! And, if you are given any opportunity...you must follow it. No offense to your parents, but parents need to let their children go, grow up, and make their own decisions so they can turn into responsible adults. Where I live, kids stay at home with their parents like forever thus stunting their growth & they never end up doing anything with their lives. Our son left to go to college because of a dream, talent & opportunity and like others that did, they end up usually flourishing. This is just what we as parents witnessed over time. Honey, if I were your mother, I would love you enough to support you & send you on your way to grow up into your opportunity

I completely agree with you. I think part of the problem may be that My 22-year-old sister still lives with us all :[

 

[Beauty Mark]

Can your friends' parents talk to yours?

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skin*Deep I will tell you loans stink. bad. Can you begin applying for any grants or scholarships? can you get a used car when you get there and take an evening job to help pay for it? will the school allow you to make payments or muct you pay the full tuition at once? I have always done what I wanted to do and I hate to see anyone be or do something they don't want to because of resources, etc....your parents are probably terrified. you are their baby, and being far away is scary. they cannot protect you, they cannot watch you. I have a feeling the money is only a bartering chip to keep their little girl close, maybe a good long talk at a time everyone is calm would help....or maybe if they realize you really intend on going, they will rethink helping you. I doubt they want to make their life difficult. good luck!

From what I know, not many scholarships apply to cosmetology schools :[
I would be able to get a job when I move up there, and I'm able to pay the tuition in installments. I know they're scared for me to be so far away, but I wish they would support me taking this chance, even if they weren't paying for it. Hopefully they do change their mind

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Can your friends' parents talk to yours?

They have, and they are going to continue to talking to them.
For some reason my dad doesn't really understand that they OFFERED to let me come up there and live with them. It wasn't my idea at all, they just told my friend a couple months ago that it was an option and that I should start thinking about it. Of course I went up there and fell in love with the school, and they're welcoming me to come up there and live with them for ten months.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Well, that's good. Perhaps if they have a reassuring talk and maybe even meet them/see the area, it'll help change their minds?

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Well, that's good. Perhaps if they have a reassuring talk and maybe even meet them/see the area, it'll help change their minds?

Yes, that's what I was thinking. I wish they would take a trip up there, but they are pretty closed-minded on that subject right now also. Hopefully they change their minds later

 

[ClaireAvril]

If I was asking my parents for large amount of money and they said no and I told them they had to let me grow up - they would kiss their teeth and say.. fine then go grow up ....without my money.. go on.. get out my house and grow up..LOL (kidding.. actually they would say that to me)

Maybe them not giving you the money is allowing you to grow up.. you can't depend on your parents to give you money for your career (maybe they don't want it to be your career). There are people out there who put themselves through university (they work full time and put themselves through school, sometimes with kids, and/or living our their own).

I understand parents are supposed to be there for you - but maybe when they see you doing your thing they will see how independant you are and possibly help - or give some sort of support... and if they don't, you're still on track to what you want to do and no one can stop you.

The main thing - I think - is be independant and do what you have to do to get your money.
Take it step by step - focus on getting work and saving up to get the cash to pay for your course. You may not be able to get into the course this time around.. maybe the next opening. But sulking about it, not eating, or bathing isn't going to do much. So you have a glitch in your plan ...gotta dust yourself off and think - ok what is plan B?

 

[BellaItalia1969]

Quote:

Originally Posted by IDontKnowMomo Yes, that's what I was thinking. I wish they would take a trip up there, but they are pretty closed-minded on that subject right now also. Hopefully they change their minds later

Hun i truly feel for you

as a mother I have always encouraged my kids to follow their dreams....that's so,so important !Later on you may regret and it will be too late!Im talking from experience...i at the tender age of 19 agreed to my dads decision to remain in UK,(although I wanted to work and live in Italy) and I have regretted bitterly

So try your hardest to find a way to follow what you feel is right for you ...
Hope it all work out good

Warmest wishes from snowy London
Chiara xx
My motto for this week

ain is temporary ,pride is forever

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClaireAvril If I was asking my parents for large amount of money and they said no and I told them they had to let me grow up - they would kiss their teeth and say.. fine then go grow up ....without my money.. go on.. get out my house and grow up..LOL (kidding.. actually they would say that to me) Maybe them not giving you the money is allowing you to grow up.. you can't depend on your parents to give you money for your career (maybe they don't want it to be your career). There are people out there who put themselves through university (they work full time and put themselves through school, sometimes with kids, and/or living our their own). I understand parents are supposed to be there for you - but maybe when they see you doing your thing they will see how independant you are and possibly help - or give some sort of support... and if they don't, you're still on track to what you want to do and no one can stop you. The main thing - I think - is be independant and do what you have to do to get your money. Take it step by step - focus on getting work and saving up to get the cash to pay for your course. You may not be able to get into the course this time around.. maybe the next opening. But sulking about it, not eating, or bathing isn't going to do much. So you have a glitch in your plan ...gotta dust yourself off and think - ok what is plan B?

Thanks. It's just really hard making myself get up and go out and do stuff, since my medicine isn't working. I have depression and anxiety disorders, and it's just really tough. Thanks for the advice :] it helps hearing somebody say that I could just do it on my own.

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BellaItalia1969 Hun i truly feel for you as a mother I have always encouraged my kids to follow their dreams....that's so,so important !Later on you may regret and it will be too late!Im talking from experience...i at the tender age of 19 agreed to my dads decision to remain in UK,(although I wanted to work and live in Italy) and I have regretted bitterly So try your hardest to find a way to follow what you feel is right for you ... Hope it all work out good Warmest wishes from snowy London Chiara xx My motto for this week ain is temporary ,pride is forever

Thanks for the encouragement :]

 

[Cinci]

i say, follow your dreams. I had a similar thing happen, and i ended up goign to a college i didnt want to go to, with teachers that weren't as good as i wanted, and ended up with an education that wasnt what i wanted it to be.. and i regret it! i wish i had just taken the plunge and gotten the loans and gone where i wanted to go.. i think once i was there my parents would have realized how much i wanted it and seen my dedicationa nd helped me out.. and if not, then i would have found a way to make it work.. loans suck and all, but if you want something, go for it.. dont let anything discourage you or stand in your way.

 

[lara]

Are the courses a set curriculum that is identical from college to college or draw from the same recognised learning curriculum, or do both colleges have their own curriculum?

Contact Aveda and enquire as to whether you can use previous courses to give you advanced standing/recognised prior learning, and if so, whether any remaining courses that Aveda offers that your other school doesn't offer can be pair for on a unit-by-unit basis as opposed to a flat fee. If so, that gives you the option of doing the course at home, then in the future bridging any knowledge gaps at Aveda and getting a certificate from a more premium training provider.

Do you have to do the course right now, right this year? Judging by what you've said about your health and well-being, you have a lot of ground to cover before you're in the optimal environment to study. Stay at home, work, save your money and re-evaluate your position further down the track.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Your parents seem to be a bit overprotective and having a hard time letting their daughter go. I'm sure they mean well because they want to be there physically if anything comes up and you need the support. They want to make your alright all the time. It's just parents being well parents. It's cool when your younger but some parents may have a harder time letting go than others. Just know that they probably mean well and aren't trying to sabotage your goals or career.

But on the other hand it does suck when they decide to not support you in what YOU want to do with your life. And please don't take any offense to this, but it just seems a bit wrong for them to take back there promise to help you out financially with school. It's like they sort of broke a promise. I'm not saying to be mad at them or anything. In my opinion parents should help their children financially when it comes to education, but that's just the traditional asian family that I'm coming from and not everyone sees things the same way. But if they aren't willing to help you pay for school you shouldn't give this opportunity up. It probably will suck and be hard for you to get a job and try to handle all of this on your own. But if its something that you truly want then I say go for it.

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lara Are the courses a set curriculum that is identical from college to college or draw from the same recognised learning curriculum, or do both colleges have their own curriculum? Contact Aveda and enquire as to whether you can use previous courses to give you advanced standing/recognised prior learning, and if so, whether any remaining courses that Aveda offers that your other school doesn't offer can be pair for on a unit-by-unit basis as opposed to a flat fee. If so, that gives you the option of doing the course at home, then in the future bridging any knowledge gaps at Aveda and getting a certificate from a more premium training provider. Do you have to do the course right now, right this year? Judging by what you've said about your health and well-being, you have a lot of ground to cover before you're in the optimal environment to study. Stay at home, work, save your money and re-evaluate your position further down the track.

When I visited the school I asked if this was possible and they said it's not. The only problem with staying here and not going to school until I'm sure I have the money for it would be that I don't have anybody to live with, which is the main reason I would like to go up there right now :[

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinci i say, follow your dreams. I had a similar thing happen, and i ended up goign to a college i didnt want to go to, with teachers that weren't as good as i wanted, and ended up with an education that wasnt what i wanted it to be.. and i regret it! i wish i had just taken the plunge and gotten the loans and gone where i wanted to go.. i think once i was there my parents would have realized how much i wanted it and seen my dedicationa nd helped me out.. and if not, then i would have found a way to make it work.. loans suck and all, but if you want something, go for it.. dont let anything discourage you or stand in your way.

:] Thank you

 

[IDontKnowMomo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX Your parents seem to be a bit overprotective and having a hard time letting their daughter go. I'm sure they mean well because they want to be there physically if anything comes up and you need the support. They want to make your alright all the time. It's just parents being well parents. It's cool when your younger but some parents may have a harder time letting go than others. Just know that they probably mean well and aren't trying to sabotage your goals or career. But on the other hand it does suck when they decide to not support you in what YOU want to do with your life. And please don't take any offense to this, but it just seems a bit wrong for them to take back there promise to help you out financially with school. It's like they sort of broke a promise. I'm not saying to be mad at them or anything. In my opinion parents should help their children financially when it comes to education, but that's just the traditional asian family that I'm coming from and not everyone sees things the same way. But if they aren't willing to help you pay for school you shouldn't give this opportunity up. It probably will suck and be hard for you to get a job and try to handle all of this on your own. But if its something that you truly want then I say go for it.

No offense taken, I completely agree.

 

[chiquilla_loca]

follow your dream and go to Aveda. i think your parents are expressing that having you far away will be tough on them, and by cutting off funding they are trying to force you to stay home. go to school, be sucessful and show them you can do it on your own, and i'm sure they will come around and be proud of you.
i'm sorry you're feeling down, try and keep focused on the big picture, going to Aveda, graduating, doing what you have a passion for.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you feel better soon!