just a little rant (warning: harsh language)

[user79]

You're just at different levels of growing up it sounds like. A lot of teenagers want to be treated like adults, but don't want to or aren't ready or independent enough to take on the responsibility of what being an adult actually entails. Props to you for being so mature and taking on that responsibility. Tbh I have way more respect for those people than those who sponge off their parents their whole life and expect to be bailed out all the time. It takes a lot of hard work to be financially independent at such a young age.

 

[captodometer]

I would ditch the so-called friend and be done with it. I would be irritated beyond belief if I had a friend who basically has unlimited free time and money who expected me to drop everything to spend time with her or talk. Friends like this aren't worth the effort. You've grown up and she hasn't, which is fine. But she doesn't seem to understand the adult responsibilities that you have taken on, and she may not for several years, if ever. Forget about her, and concentrate on your other adult friends.

I know it sounds harsh, but I'm just being realistic. Some people just never grow up. I've got a 45 year aunt who has never moved out of my grandmother's. She has never paid a dime of rent. Had her college tuition paid for. She buys the groceries occasionally. Has a gigantic shoe and clothing collection. Travels frequently. Just bought a brand new sport ute.
Has only worked about half of her adult life. She's pretty much helpless, and would never make it if she had to be completely responsible for herself. My grandmother is elderly and almost incapacitated by Alzheimer's; the aunt doesn't look after her: my mother does. If my mother or I should inherit the house, which is very likely, the aunt is being kicked out if she doesn't pay market rate rent. Tough love, baby.

You don't get to choose your relatives, but you are stuck with them and bear some minimal amount of responsibility for them. So I'm definitely going to attempt to turn the aunt into a responsible adult if given the opportunity. But you do get to choose your friends, and I wouldn't invest the time and effort on an immature one. But that's just me

 

[chameleonmary]

I dont think it really matters how dependent she is, it is kimmy's friends lack of understanding. I know a few people who sponge off their parents and pay for NOTHING and are generous and understanding, even respectful of the fact that I work 25 hours a week and study law full time. I was quite understanding when my friend was working full time/studying full time and barely had time to talk to me, because thats what he needed to do to get through.

I know a lot of people who are independent, work, pay the bills and rent, yet are still selfish and arrogant to their friends. Statements such as "if u cared u wouldnt have been consumed with ur job. thats all u care about anymore" are selfish and arrogant, because im sure you are not "consumed" with their jobs for enjoyment, but because you have to. Friends need to understand and support each other, and it would appear that unless shes tried to justify herself more than a shitty text message like that, she isnt being very friendly.

 

[p3nut]

I'm seventeen and i've never relied on anyone for anything. I found out young the hard way, if I wanted something, including happiness, I had to go out and get it myself.
I still go to highschool and work full time, around 60 hours a paycheck which yes, is illegal for minors. I pay for everything I own, and i'm PROUD of it! Although I am jealous of those whose parents are wealthy and spoil them, I would never want to be like that. I've learned way too much on my own and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I think if anything, posessions especially mean more when you've earned the money for it yourself. I don't have much time for myself anymore, or for friends really, but then again the friends I have spend most of their time working, too. although, their parents are planning to pay for their college, which in my case, mine are not. The majority of my time off I spend with my boyfriend, which some of my friends, including his, objected to and say, "You spend too much time with her! You never see me anymore! she's controlling you! blahlblah." I think if they actually cared, they wouldn't bitch, and just try to see you whenever it's actually possible.
maybe you just need a change in friends, lol! ones who are more understanding and really there for you when you need it! real ones wouldn't bail and be complete pricks like that.

 

[anti_starlet8]

I kinda know how you feel. I'm 20 and at university in London, the most expensive city to study in in the UK (I'm British). I live with three other girls. One of them has her rent paid for her by her parents and they are nearly always there to help her out. They spoilt her this weekend with clothes and a cool new haircut. My other housemate's parents could afford to send her to private school as the local public school was terrible and she can afford to pay her tuition fees herself (£3000 = $6000 per year for a 3 yr course) - the majority of students have to take out a loan to cover fees and living costs.
Now they're lovely girls and they're lucky they have this but sometimes I feel like they have no idea how hard it is for me. I come from a single parent family and my mum is working 2 jobs to somehow make ends meet. We don't have college funds here in the UK, our parents just try to help us out at the time we're at uni. My loan is means-tested (more money the poorer you are) and I get a bigger loan because I study in an expensive city where living costs are higher but I still had to work part time three days a week last year as well as busting my balls at uni so I have a chance of attempting to transfer from what is basically pre-med to Medicine without having to apply externally blah blah (Medicine isn't a graduate course here, it's undergrad, minimum 5 years - v. high competition and again, expensive). And sometimes I get really overdrawn paying bills and rent (about $745 per month for rent alone ) and I get very stressed out. I know it's not their fault but sometimes I feel like my friends have absolutely no idea how hard it is for me. If the worst comes to the worst their parents will be able to help them out and they can concentrate on their studies. Mine really cannot, that's why I have to work as well as study - they have no need to. My nan had to give me the money for the deposit for our house and I still haven't paid her back yet.
My boyfriend is in a similar situation and he and his oldest brother have basically become the sole breadwinners in his house. His mum is disabled, his dad lost his job last year so only has temporary work cos he's quite underqualified and his other brother is a lazy **** who now spends most days playing on xbox live since he lost his job too. So my boyfriend works 8 hour nights shifts, 5 times a week to help his mother out. Bear in mind he also goes to uni full time. His situation tears me up inside but because he's got such a good heart, it's what he'll do for his family, to make it easier for them. Even I don't truly understand how hard it is for them, because I've never experienced it to that extent.
And yes, some other people just don't understand it, I think it really is something you have to go through to yourself. I don't think I did until I had to pay for all my bills myself (utilities, rent, phone bill) - it's a lot when you're a student. So it's not entirely her fault, she's lucky enough to have parents to pay for everything but at the same time, if she really was you best friend she'd try to put herself in your shoes and see how hard it is for you and that you're doing your best to manage.
Maybe the best thing is to loosen the ties a little and becomes friends with people who have matured like you and you are on the same page with. Small petty conflicts sound like the last thing you need right now.

 

[magg0rz]

I understand where you all are coming from. I'm in the middle though. I live at home, but attend school full time. I worked at the same job for 4 years until they laid me off. I have friends that rag on me for not moving out yet since I'm 24, but I also have friends that rag on me because they don't have a parent helping them with things.