My boyfriend is

[omg banana]

the biggest asshole I've ever met in my life. Seriously. Today I even had a discussion with his mom about how big of a jerk he is. Can anyone give me advise about what to do here?

He decided to take this job where he knew he would have to work B shift, so the only nights he has off a week are Saturdays and Sundays. Now, apparently it's my fault that he never gets to hang out with his friends, because one of the two nights he has off he has to spend with me. We agreed to hang out every other Saturday night so that he could hang out with his friends on some Saturdays too. But every single Saturday he spends with me, he just sits there bitching and whining about how he could be out with his friends but no, he's stuck home with me. (He won't let me hang out with his friends with him, I've suggested it many times. We've been dating for a year and a half and I've only met his friends once). So, tonight is the only night I get to see him this week and what is he doing? He just got done bitching about how I make his life miserable and now he's in his bed being a jackass and not talking to me and and I'm on his computer. What an awesome night. Seriously, is one night a week too much to ask? We can't hang out during the day because we're both in college and have classes during the day, and he goes straight from class to work for the rest of the night. This is the only time I get to spend with him and he ruins it by whining the whole entire time about how he could be out drinking instead of hanging out with me, and then refuses to talk to me. He acts like I forced him to take this job. It's not my fault that he has no time off, and I'm not giving up my time with him because he chose to take that job. I think the every other week situation is pretty fair. He hangs out with his friends just as much as he hangs out with me, and yet he complains that I take up all of his time? I don't know what to do about it anymore.

 

[ClaireAvril]

i would break up with him he seems like a jerk.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

It sounds like this relationship is a one way street, and not really worth your time IMO

Your schooling is way more important than some dick head who treats you like you have the plague.

Ditch that bitch!

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by omg banana Now, It's not my fault that he has no time off, and I'm not giving up my time with him because he chose to take that job. I think the every other week situation is pretty fair. He hangs out with his friends just as much as he hangs out with me, and yet he complains that I take up all of his time? I don't know what to do about it anymore.

Honestly, only because you asked...
You say you are not giving up your time with him...The time is obviously not Quality Time..If the whole time he is moaning and groaning about being there with you..and he wishes he was hanging with his friends. That is certainly not my idea of Quality Time nor would I be happy with the time he is spending with me and hating doing it. Sounds like a horrible Saturday night for both of you. I say if he prefers to be with his guys and that is what makes him happy..let him go be with his friends. You need to find something that makes you happy...I would think he would be happy to spend his off time with you..If not..Maybe their are other issues you should be talking over with him. My husband is rarely off..but when he is he may go hang with his friends for a couple of hours playing pool..But for the most part he is spending time with me. If he is so unhappy spending time with you and feel forced to do so..IMO it could only cause him problems of resentment in your relationship which seems a little strained to me already.

 

[MzzRach]

I think it is time to reevaulate what you are both getting out of this relationship.

 

[carrieann07]

I don't know how old the two of you are, but I'm assuming you aren't teenager's. From my perspective he's not worth your time and is acting very immature. Don't put up with it.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I would be the strong one in this situation. Just give him what he wants, give him the freedom, you will obviously be better off with YOUR girlfriends anyday, who wants to hear a jack ass whine all freaking night, like grow the hell up man. I would just say to him, fine you want to hang out with the boys? You can.. You never want to make time for me anyway, so why dont you just hang out with them and we'll see if im still with you at the end. If he doesnt want to spend time with you and when he does he complains, or doesnt want to introduce you to his buds, something is obviously wrong with HIM, sorry hun but hes not a winner. But the best you can do its talk to him about it, espeically about his job and how you felt like what he did was unthoughtful and you only really get one on one time with him every other saturday and you would appricate it if he put some effort into the date and if he still complains tell him wow if your plan was to ruin my whole weekend you did a great job, i would just leave.

Good luck with everything!

 

[user79]

I'd have a talk with him and ask him what he thinks a relationship should be about. What does he understand under quality time with his girlfriend - does he even have a desire to go out with you or are you just "a waste of his time". It seems like your bf doesn't have an interest in the relationship if he would rather be out drinking with his buddies than spend one night a week with you, doing something together. Maybe he just doesn't like spending Saturday nights in? Maybe suggest going out together on a Saturday night...don't just sit around at home.

Honestly though, he sounds like a bit of a selfish jerk. If he doesn't want to spend any time with you, maybe you shouldn't spend any time with him either and move on...

 

[Beauty Mark]

He doesn't really sound worth any kind of compromise, especially since you proposed one.

You might want to talk to him, but I don't know why you're bothering with someone who complains about being with you only once a week

 

[NutMeg]

Why are you with him? And that isn't a rhetorical question, I want you to think about it and give me some reasons.

My other question is, why did you pick the "biggest asshole" you know for a boyfriend? Which is kind of the same question but oh well.

 

[MacAddict_Sami]

It obvious you guys want completely different things... He seems like an ass to me...I don't think he's what you need right now; it sounds like you're the only one who is trying

 

[Cinci]

Next! I'd get rid of him. Like really, it must make you feel like shit that he complains about havng ot spend time with you. I know it would hurt me. I'd rather be alone than with someone who didn't watn to have to spend time with me.. Things like this are damaging to a persons self esteem. The longer you stay, the more damage it does. You need to get rid of him before he breaks wears away at your self worth any more than he already has.

You deserve better than that, and you know it.

 

[sweetangelkiss]

Get rid of him.
The end.
I know this is different but if my best gf was bitching to me about how she could be spending time with her other gf's then with me I'd be so pissed off, that would shock me to no end so why should it be different because it's boyfriend.

You can do so much better. This guy DOES NOT deserve you. I hope by next week you come back to tell us you've dumped his ass. lol.

 

[omg banana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg Why are you with him? And that isn't a rhetorical question, I want you to think about it and give me some reasons. My other question is, why did you pick the "biggest asshole" you know for a boyfriend? Which is kind of the same question but oh well.

We're not always fighting, and when we're not it's awesome. I love spending time with him, and before this we could hang out and not argue, it's just recently that it seems like we can't. I also consider him my best friend, which I now realize is pretty sad.

He wasn't always like this, that's why it's hard. We've been together for a year and a half and he just got this job a month ago, before that he had a job with normal hours so he had tons of time to hang out with everyone. During the week we're fine, we talk all the time but then it gets to a Saturday when we're supposed to hang out and he starts being a jerk because he could be somewhere else. I don't understand why he doesn't want to see me. He's stressed out from work and school and he takes it all out on me. Maybe when school ends it'll be better. That's why I don't want to break up with him. What if it could get better?

 

[omg banana]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carrieann07 I don't know how old the two of you are, but I'm assuming you aren't teenager's. From my perspective he's not worth your time and is acting very immature. Don't put up with it.

I'm almost 21, he's almost 23. It is extremely immature. And his friends just add to it. They tell him that he should be hanging out with them instead of me. Obviously none of them have girlfriends.

Quote:

I'd have a talk with him and ask him what he thinks a relationship should be about. What does he understand under quality time with his girlfriend - does he even have a desire to go out with you or are you just "a waste of his time". It seems like your bf doesn't have an interest in the relationship if he would rather be out drinking with his buddies than spend one night a week with you, doing something together. Maybe he just doesn't like spending Saturday nights in? Maybe suggest going out together on a Saturday night...don't just sit around at home.

Yeah we definitely need to have that talk. I would like to do it in person though rather than over the phone, which will have to wait about a week.

There's seriously NOTHING to do here. I'm not old enough to get into bars yet (though that will change in two months), he doesn't take me to parties or anything like that, he doesn't like movie theaters, and everything else in my town closes at like 9:00pm lol. Basically all there is to do is rent movies at home.

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

It's not my intention to be mean, but why don't you just break up? Problem solved!

 

[aleksis210]

I'm almost 21, he's almost 23. It is extremely immature. And his friends just add to it. They tell him that he should be hanging out with them instead of me. Obviously none of them have girlfriends.


Or they're gay...BUURRNN!...... but on a serious note...break up with him immediately, if he is 23 and he acts this way HE WILL NEVERRRRR CHANGE. All that will happen is he'll break up with you or you'll never break up and the relationship will just escalate to an all time height of ridiculousness.(he could turn out to be very abusive physically and/or mentally, after all you two haven't been together that long...)

 

[kristina ftw!]

Alright, I'm gonna go against the crowd here and say give it some time, if that's what you want. As you said, he could just be stressing out about work and school, and taking it out on you. Again, as you said, he wasn't like this before.
Talk to him about it.
HOWEVER, if it continues ... You might have to realize that he's not the man you fell in love with anymore. People change. Act accordingly.

 

[Malena]

If he´s so unhappy with you, why doesn´t he break up???
You wrote he´s complaining alot about "having to" hang out with you these days, but still stays with you...so, maybe it´s just a phase he´s going through at the moment.
--- Even so I find it a little weird that you only met his friends once. I´d think if he´s proud of you he would want everybody to know you like "Here, that´s my girl!"

---

I´m not saying that´s it´s okay that he takes it all out on you since it´s NOT, but maybe you´re right about giving him some time to see how things will develop.
Having a talk with him about the whole issue wouldn´t hurt, though

That might be a wake-up call for him!

Good luck

 

[nursee81]

i really think you need to step back and look at the BIG picture. Do you really want to be with him? Are you willing to come 2nd to his friends? I have a friend who fiance puts her and their son 2nd to his friends and family all the time. She's not happy but acts as she is and will not do anything about it. Take some time and think about what you want in life.