New Drama...Its Long (Of Course)
- Thread starter CantAffordMAC
- Start date
itsJADEbiitch
Well-known member
live and learn.. it's all you can do. do what you feel is right in your "grieving and healing time" it's different for everyone. you'll know.
be SAFE!!
keep your chin up, love!
be SAFE!!
keep your chin up, love!
pumpkincat210
Well-known member
Whoah, long post, i can't really add to what has already been written, but what is a 23 year old doing with a 17 year old? Isn't that illegal? I know girls mature faster than boys but at 17 I was naive. At 20 i was naive.
I would just make a clean break with all of them and see what comes your way.
ETA: He is playing both you girls btw.
I would just make a clean break with all of them and see what comes your way.
ETA: He is playing both you girls btw.
ndn-ista
Well-known member
Move on, Move on, Move on girl. Like other have said, if it is meant to be, it will be. Just do you and be the best you can at this time. You can't let him get to you, because he is the one that broke up with you. If he had enough courage to break up with you, then he should have enough to lose you as well. Your not a boardgame to be played with when he is bored, or he to have you whenever he wants.
Good Luck mama.
Good Luck mama.
duckduck
Well-known member
Quote:
Oh hell fu@k no!
When someone feels trapped, hooking up with some 17 year old girl is not a proper answer. Perhaps you were being "annoying" - that doesn't make any of what happened your fault. I don't know if that is what he was trying to say, but damn, it sounds a little too much like "my choices are your fault" for me. You cannot control what another person does, and you can not be to blame for how he decided to show his emotions. You seem to recognize that, but I wanted to make sure you knew it so that maybe down the road you can choose someone who is more accountable and mature. My only advice is to start putting as much distance as possible between him and yourself. *Hugs* and good luck.
Originally Posted by CantAffordMAC
He said I should have seen this coming because I knew he was distant. he said I was annoying him almost everyday and he just felt trapped. |
Oh hell fu@k no!
CantAffordMAC
Well-known member
LoL thanks all. I really appreciate it. I am on the right track i think.
lol I keep thinking of using a dick as a kleenex...literally.
lol I keep thinking of using a dick as a kleenex...literally.
Babylard
Well-known member
hey, i always seem to stumble on your posts lol.
but yeah... i can see you really crave to be loved, but sex with guys that look twice at you (like lara has mentioned) is not going to fullfill that void.
you are young. take time for yourself and learn from what happened. i feel that you should just get yourself away from him and never speak to him again.
its okay to be confused and wanting to be loved, but you need to first love yourself. you are desireable, you just haven't found the right person yet.
i remember how you mentioned that you dont have anyone else (i think...) well specktra is here for you, i am here for you. pm me msn whatever. if you need a friend
but yeah... i can see you really crave to be loved, but sex with guys that look twice at you (like lara has mentioned) is not going to fullfill that void.
you are young. take time for yourself and learn from what happened. i feel that you should just get yourself away from him and never speak to him again.
its okay to be confused and wanting to be loved, but you need to first love yourself. you are desireable, you just haven't found the right person yet.
i remember how you mentioned that you dont have anyone else (i think...) well specktra is here for you, i am here for you. pm me msn whatever. if you need a friend
SparklingWaves
Well-known member
All this cycle of drama may be more about fear of being alone and addiction to chaos. If you are constantly in relationships that are like being on a wild horse, you don't like it on one hand. On the other hand, you are use to it and it keeps you from dealing with with your fears.
You may think there is all this fun action going on out there that you are missing. Guess what? That's an illusion. It's on television and in magazines. It's a fantasy.
You are the master of the calming this drama/chaos. You have within yourself a perfect Goddess. You are not something to be used just for a man's pleasure or to lay down with a man to give yourself worth. You are a woman.
You have a body that gives you a means to transport your spirit around as you choose. You have a responsibility of this body you are carrying around. This isn't some wardrobe to be thrown around. This is your priceless body. Do not allow it to be treated this way with anyone.
You and this man are not honoring each other. It needs to end. He is having a backup girl and you are looking to an ex as your back up for worth.
The worth is inside of you. It NEVER comes from someone else or anywhere else.
You are at an age of accountability. This is a time for new changes and new beginnings of awareness as an adult.
You are a bright & beautiful young woman with a future in front of her. Carry your head high and step away from this. Put an end to this. Draw on your internal Goddess to guide you.
You are never alone. You have all you need inside of you.
You may think there is all this fun action going on out there that you are missing. Guess what? That's an illusion. It's on television and in magazines. It's a fantasy.
You are the master of the calming this drama/chaos. You have within yourself a perfect Goddess. You are not something to be used just for a man's pleasure or to lay down with a man to give yourself worth. You are a woman.
You have a body that gives you a means to transport your spirit around as you choose. You have a responsibility of this body you are carrying around. This isn't some wardrobe to be thrown around. This is your priceless body. Do not allow it to be treated this way with anyone.
You and this man are not honoring each other. It needs to end. He is having a backup girl and you are looking to an ex as your back up for worth.
The worth is inside of you. It NEVER comes from someone else or anywhere else.
You are at an age of accountability. This is a time for new changes and new beginnings of awareness as an adult.
You are a bright & beautiful young woman with a future in front of her. Carry your head high and step away from this. Put an end to this. Draw on your internal Goddess to guide you.
You are never alone. You have all you need inside of you.
Evey
Well-known member
Michie, you're the shit! LOL you took the words right out of my mouth...I used to feel the same way. Like a dude had to want me sexually to feel wanted and "pretty"....but, FUCK THAT. Nobody deserves to have my body that doesn't respect me. Nobody deserves to FUCK me. I will NOT be just some fuck to someone. Respect yourself FIRST. You and you're body come FIRST. You're a beautiful girl, guys will always want to have sex with you...what you need to look for is a guy who will want more than just have sex with you...all this bullshit of going back and forth with this dude is ridiculous. Guys will do and say anything to get what they want. Two year relationship or not, he will play with you if he knows he can. I heard the same shit, "i'll stop talking to her completely"..."I want to be with you"....etc etc...it was all bullshit. Once you give them the OK to treat you like shit, they will continue to do it. Save yourself the pain and tears...tell this fool to go fuck himself and don't play his silly little games. As for X, I can't speak to much on him but, another thing I will tell you about guys is that if they see that you're at a weak point in your life they WILL take advantage of you. To me it seems like this guy just acted like he was really concerned about you and giving you a "shoulder to cry on" so he could get in your pants. I can't say this for sure about him because I don't know this guy but, that's what it looks like to me. Kind of like a lion when he sees a hurt gazelle....in this case, you're the hurt gazelle...
ps. sorry about the language lol
ps. sorry about the language lol
MAC_Pixie04
Well-known member
Quote:
That's true; but he obviously didn't even wait until this relationship ended before he started emotionally screwing around on her. And then he most likely took advantage of the fact that she was upset about the breakup and vulnerable to use her sexually, which is uncool.
Seriously, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and if he broke up with me, I know I wouldn't be able to immediately cut all ties with him, but if he tried to get into my pants post-breakup, I'd cut all ties with him and his scrotum because that's just low. Someone you spent that much time being in a relationship with shouldn't be reduced to booty, which is what I think Michie especially is trying to get at. Perhaps it will be difficult to cut all ties, and you probably won't because he'll most likely always have a space in your heart and soul, but don't allow him to take advantage of you at this time. Keep him close at a distance.
| Originally Posted by GreekChick
They might not have been together anymore, but a two yr relationship cannot just end with sex with a stranger the next day. It's normal to be hurt: breaking up a long-term relationship and finding out a couple of days later that he's interested in someone else is devastating. Guy, wait a couple of months at least! |
That's true; but he obviously didn't even wait until this relationship ended before he started emotionally screwing around on her. And then he most likely took advantage of the fact that she was upset about the breakup and vulnerable to use her sexually, which is uncool.
Seriously, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and if he broke up with me, I know I wouldn't be able to immediately cut all ties with him, but if he tried to get into my pants post-breakup, I'd cut all ties with him and his scrotum because that's just low. Someone you spent that much time being in a relationship with shouldn't be reduced to booty, which is what I think Michie especially is trying to get at. Perhaps it will be difficult to cut all ties, and you probably won't because he'll most likely always have a space in your heart and soul, but don't allow him to take advantage of you at this time. Keep him close at a distance.
*Stargazer*
Well-known member
Quote:
Preach on!
Quote:
What she said.
It's time to move on and mature. Get your head together and get your life on track. We're behind you!
| Originally Posted by Janice
I think you need some time to mature emotionally, going and tangling yourself up with every guy who looks at you twice isn't the answer it only makes you and everything else more confused. Love yourself baby. |
Preach on!
Quote:
| Originally Posted by lipstickandhate
Just stop. No more sex. No more phone calls. This is all too dramatic and tedious. You need to respect yourself before anyone else will. You're better than booty call sex and cell phone hacking. He's a moron but you aren't- act accordingly! |
What she said.
It's time to move on and mature. Get your head together and get your life on track. We're behind you!
Evey
Well-known member
PS. The sooner you stop talking to him the sooner you'll feel better and be happy. PLEASE BELIEVE ME....you'll want to slap yourself for not doing it sooner. =) I know I did...Besides you two have been going at it for a while, you just haven't really noticed how bad it's been because you have that LOVE thing covering up your eyes...
I think chris rock said it best when he said, "take how long you've been together and divide that by two. That's how long you've been breaking up." LOL
I think chris rock said it best when he said, "take how long you've been together and divide that by two. That's how long you've been breaking up." LOL
Pnk85
Well-known member
I understand you needing the attention to make yourself feel beautiful but in the end how can you expect someone to love you more than how much love yourself? I finally learned that after a very difficult 3 year relationship.... I took some time to myself and focused on being comfortable with me. Luckily it only took my 2 years, I know some people who are well into their 40's barely realizing this. You seem like a very strong woman and I have faith that you will get through this.
vica
Well-known member
ive been in a situation like that before but I was the one who cheated.. i was in a relationship with my first boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years.. i remember reading one of your posts sayin that your ex wasnt allowed to speak to girls, or hang out with them because its considered cheating.. he and i were the same exact way and we basically cut off all ties with our friends. i thought i was so in love with him.. . after a while, i started to think he was annoying because he was too clingy and i would secretly go off and kick it with other guys.. i then cheated on him with a guy who is my current ex and i was with that one for four years. he didnt like that i had alot of male friends and assumed i was cheatin all the damn time. so there were alot of fights ..physically and mentally abusing.. i was depressed .and basically those last 3 years of our relationship , i looked to other guys for comfort. i dated at least every single Type of guy there is and NONE of them were makeing me happy. we then ended our relationship last year because i found out he was cheatin on me with some 17 year old who didnt even know i existed... And that we both knew we were too stubborn to come clean with everything. at first i was furious because even tho i cheated, i trusted him fully.. BUT he and i are close friends now because we talked everything out and both agreed that we were together too young and too damn long.lol
so what i learn from past relationships?
-i learned was that when you dont have trust in someone at least 95% and bug them about every single detail of their life, it actually provokes them to look the other direction and look for other people..
-cheating did NOT make me happy. it was fun for the time being but i finally saw that i needed to grow the fuckk up and stop doing that to other people ( hope your ex realizes that one)
- dont smother them and let them be with their friends.. think of yourself as the "cool girlfriend" whos down for anything but STILL knows exactly wat you want.
-i also learned that i can be too jealous and stubborn and i need to let shit go sometimes! lol.
i have a new boyfriend now and we are great together. im still the same person i am , but ive let alot of small , petty, stuff slide instead of arguing about it because obviously it has not done me any good ! i am soo much happier cuz everything i have taken in from other realtionships, i learned from it and i know how to deal with man pms and all that stuff..
do not get back with your ex. he needs some maturing to do and he may regret wat he did and try to get u to come back or he may not . but think about YOURSELF and what YOU want in life because whether u realize it or not ,trust, those last 2 years u had with him is a learning experience and you can use it to your advantage and you will be so much wiser with the next guy. if that next guy doesnt work out, take it like "shit, im better than you!!!" and move on. you will learn more about yourself than you thought you knew. hope this helps.. and keep your head up girl!
so what i learn from past relationships?
-i learned was that when you dont have trust in someone at least 95% and bug them about every single detail of their life, it actually provokes them to look the other direction and look for other people..
-cheating did NOT make me happy. it was fun for the time being but i finally saw that i needed to grow the fuckk up and stop doing that to other people ( hope your ex realizes that one)
- dont smother them and let them be with their friends.. think of yourself as the "cool girlfriend" whos down for anything but STILL knows exactly wat you want.
-i also learned that i can be too jealous and stubborn and i need to let shit go sometimes! lol.
i have a new boyfriend now and we are great together. im still the same person i am , but ive let alot of small , petty, stuff slide instead of arguing about it because obviously it has not done me any good ! i am soo much happier cuz everything i have taken in from other realtionships, i learned from it and i know how to deal with man pms and all that stuff..
do not get back with your ex. he needs some maturing to do and he may regret wat he did and try to get u to come back or he may not . but think about YOURSELF and what YOU want in life because whether u realize it or not ,trust, those last 2 years u had with him is a learning experience and you can use it to your advantage and you will be so much wiser with the next guy. if that next guy doesnt work out, take it like "shit, im better than you!!!" and move on. you will learn more about yourself than you thought you knew. hope this helps.. and keep your head up girl!
miszjenny
Well-known member
so you were still together when you guys had sex... i don't understand why few girls on top were saying you shouldn't have had checked the numbers and told the 17 year old girl you guys have been going out for 2 years. You have the right to do that... I would do the same thing if i was in your situation...in a very angry way though lol... i might even cut my bf's pee pee hehe.
you'll be fine. i would definitely stay away from guys for a while if i were you. you will become stronger if you would face your loneliness and anger by yourself. don't use someone else to make you feel good coz that's a really bad idea. you would just put yourself in big trouble, drama, and etc. hang out with your gal friends more and spend time with your family... that would help a lot.
you'll be fine. i would definitely stay away from guys for a while if i were you. you will become stronger if you would face your loneliness and anger by yourself. don't use someone else to make you feel good coz that's a really bad idea. you would just put yourself in big trouble, drama, and etc. hang out with your gal friends more and spend time with your family... that would help a lot.
SkylarV217
Well-known member
Gal you've gotten a lot of GREAT advice, Just wanted to tell you I completely agree with Janice. Take some time to yourself ( No guys no sex) Get to know who you are outside of a relationship. Mature a little and heal. You just got out of a big relationship. Once you are out of it and you are good with yourself with no guy , you will find that the perfect guy will come along and you will have a wonderful healthy relationship. A lot of us gals feel like we need a man to be complete or happy , that is so the opposite of truth. We all need to realize that the perfect man won't come along until we are complete and happy within ourself. Only then will a man be able to fall in love with us for who we really are. Take some time =). Spend time building gal pal relationships b/c no matter what man you have those are some of the most important relationships you will ever have .
SkylarV217
Well-known member
P.S. - NO SEX IS " NO STRINGS ATTACHED" , Sex always come with emotions and baggage and physical consequences, Remember no birth-control/ STD protection is 100% !
