online crush

[milamonster]

yeh actually...
hi ladies,
I wanted to say thank you SOOO much for the feedback. I combined what you all had to say and what my friends and sister had to say. Gosh, there were so many different ideas! lol. I wanted to delete this thread but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to delete the whole thing so just the post.
I wanted to give a final update. The situation has become really weird because like I said, Jorge lied to Benga and told him I liked him. I have never once flirted with Benga even when he would compliment me etc so I never showed that I liked him. I do not know why Jorge would say anything like that to him if I NEVER EVER told him but I don't get people anymore. I confronted JOrge and he acted like he had NO clue what I was talking about. Since the source of this information wanted to remain anonymous I couldn't say too much. THis girl is a mutual frined of ours and told me that JOrge told her that he told Benga that I liked them and they had some sort of a "discussion " about it. Like I said, I have NO clue how long ago it was since we've been in contact for 2 years. The results are unknown etc. I talked to Benga and asked him if Jorge had said anything about me. He named off some stuff but like I said they were all stuff like how we met, about me etc. He seemed pretty clueless bout it. Basically he said no. So I get off the phone and I'm lost. I"m like, well someone's lying. I don't know who, but this mess is dumb. Jorge acted all "confuzzled " (yes...confused AND puzzled) and said that I could message him on aim if I wanted to talk about it when he got home when he signed onto aim cuz he jus got off work. I said, that's cool, I know he wanted to know where I "got " this information from etc. I actually didn't im him but was goign to if I saw him back online or call him, but what happened was he ended up getting attacked and beaten up pretty bad the next day in a park and was put in the hospital. He just got out, so of course I am NOT bringing this up to him.

I've talked to Benga since then and everything and everything seemed cool . Actually, I odn't know, it's a bit weird at the sam etime. I haven't really called him to just chat but to ask him the above question and also I had called him to let him know about Jorge in the first place so our convos have been short and not like normal. but I don't know about this anymore. "This "meaning even having convos on the phone or any sort of contact. Maybe it was the suspicions that some people put into my head (about him being a player etc)but I'm just like blahhhh..I called Benga the other day and I dind't get an answer. and he called me back 30 minutes but I was away from the phone . I called him back again and no answer. I thought maybe he's avoiding me but why call me back if he was? I know I get like this when I have a crush on someone where I start feeling like I'm acting weird. OR that they ar eperceiving that I am acting weird because of a change in my behavior. It's pararnoia , I know. But I feel like maybe I'm creepin him out and he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I texted him saying I really wanted to talk to him about something and he called me immediately, literally like in 1 minute after I sent the text but I couldn't say wat i wanted to say whcih is ask him what the hells going on and stuff. Maybe he never was flirting with me or liked me etc. THe night i talked to him after that "whats up with you a nd me baby" text he seemed like he did want to meet me and everythign was cool. But I feel like within a few weeks something ahs changed. I texted him last night saying (once again) i wanted to talk to him and to call me when he ahd the time. until he calls me I give up on calling him or texting him. If he doesn't contact me within a week then I'm deleting his number and I will be telling him to not talk to me anymore. We were planning to go to his next party, but now I'm thinking I probably won't even meet him out of curiousity and not respond to his calls or messages anymore.

IM SOOOO CONFUSED!!!


Thanks again ladies!@!!

 

[Brittni]

Woah, girl! *hands you a chiiiilllll pill*

First off, I hope Jorge is okay after getting out of the hospital. That is horrible! eeek.

Second off, I think you are reading too much into that one text and over analyzing it. Have you ever thought that maybe the only wierd vibes are on YOUR end...not his? Honestly, guys are pretty clueless and I don't think if he wasn't feelin' you at all he would call back that fast. Actually, I know he wouldn't. Guys who don't give a sh%t simply don't give a sh%t so I actually think it's really sweet he did call you back pronto. Putting time limits on things will not only drive you crazy but aren't really fair to him, you know. Life happens! Prime example is what happened with Jorge. Always expect the unexpected.

I think you just need to take things slowly and see where they go. Instead of being so hyped about what might be or what isn't, just find out what is by letting it happen naturally. Like you said, it's just a crush at this point..so why throw away a 2 year friendship? I don't think he'd understand you telling him not to talk to you ever again just 'cause he didn't call for a few weeks, you know! Sometimes you have to let things just fall into place...and trust me I know how hard it is to "chill" but you just gotta find things to occupy your mind! He'll come around...and sooner than you think if you stop over thinking. lol. I hope...you relax, you guys talk and go on like normal, and one day you meet and find out really whassssup!! haha

xoxo I hope everything goes well for you doll!

 

[milamonster]

girl, i know i am OOOONNNNNN one! haha.

jorge isgood, he sent us all emails. But he is trying to deal with it mentally...

i kind of wrote that part out of sequence he has not calle dm eback since then. and i know it could be on my part, that's why i said paranoia. but he is acting wierd just by the way he is taking because hes always usually spunky but not for a while . just a whole diff vibe than ive ever witnessed from him whether he was tired, sad etc.
but beyond that what i failed to mention is that i sent him a text one night that was quite "interesting" that he didn't respond to which is why i think hes being weird. this was AFTER the time he called me back pronto. actually when i talked to him he was like you didnt think i would call you back that quick since he never does. i admit to my acting weird/paranoia thing but i really truly feel that he is acting differently (in response to me). It's not so much how long he takes to call back. He's a busy boy and he has been since ive known him. He's also told me that he is a bad communicator and has "apologized" for this so i guess I expect him to take his time and respond etc. IT's typical of him that He dissappears for some time then will blow up your phone. That's how he is i guess and ive gotten used to it so no surprise. BUUUTTT I only put this time limit so that i guess i can put it out of my head so that I don't think about him. If he DOES call me back, then it's clear we're still cool, but I guess I'm still at the same time thinking that there's a possibility that he's not going to.This message is directed towards the part that thinks he will not. THerefore in 1 week i will delete his info. This is also for my sake that i will not call him while drunk etc etc or like you said over think it. When he wants to talk to me and actually call me then we can discuss . This is really why i wanted to talk to him...to discuss stuff.

i think what made me not want to talk to Benga (or jorge lol) is just the whole thing that the "anonymous" person said. i cannot stand being lied to ...im sure you all feel the same. telling someone certain things changes their relationships or what they think about the other so it isn't something tha tyou should just spread around. especially when it's something that they haven't told them. and im getting two stories from him with jorge saying he hasnt tlaked or seen him in 3 months nad benga saying he saw him last week. with folks lying to me, i cant trust them, and that's just something i feel strongly about. ANd i think that's another reason why i feel i cant even carry this "Friendship" anymore n meet him. i feel i cnat experess any of htis to jorge becaus eh'es in that condition. and i obviously cant discuss with the other one sinc i havent talked to him. yes, i could call him again but ie called him 2x alreayd.

well, we'll see if he calls me back. And if he does then he can invite me to a party and then we'll meet, but if he doesnt call back then there's no way we can meet since we dont know wherE. But i have this feeling that he will pop up nonchalantly a few weeks (typical him) saying what's up talkin my ear off and saying let's meet .

 

[Brittni]

I'm glad Jorge is okay. That would be tough to deal with mentally and physically. eugh. People are so cruel sometimes!

Yeah girl! I agree you should be somewhat guarded. All of that lying is not a good thing at all. I just don't that part of them...totally confusing. You just gotta follow your heart AND your head - which I think you are doing. Maybe he is acting differently because you are, you know, lol. If it were me though I think I would at least TRY to get out what I'm saying to Benga (I always believe in taking chances and throwing it out there - but for you this doesn't mean telling him about the crush so much as to just letting him know the lying/weird vibes concern you) rather than the time limit, but if it works for you then all the more power to you!!

GOOOODLUCK!!! xo

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittni I'm glad Jorge is okay. That would be tough to deal with mentally and physically. eugh. People are so cruel sometimes! Yeah girl! I agree you should be somewhat guarded. All of that lying is not a good thing at all. I just don't that part of them...totally confusing. You just gotta follow your heart AND your head - which I think you are doing. Maybe he is acting differently because you are, you know, lol. If it were me though I think I would at least TRY to get out what I'm saying to Benga (I always believe in taking chances and throwing it out there - but for you this doesn't mean telling him about the crush so much as to just letting him know the lying/weird vibes concern you) rather than the time limit, but if it works for you then all the more power to you!! GOOOODLUCK!!! xo

you're right!!! i need to try to get it out. one last reason why im frustrated is that i was TRYING to tell him these feelings and he hasn't called me since so im like geez. and i was sooo ready to say it. i wasnt gonna back down for nothin. but then he didnt answer. and you know all that talkin myself up i had to do ahah.
i don't even want to bring up the lying thing with him (when they last talked etc) because it was a weird subject asking him last time. actually, im pretty sure jorge did say something because it actually sounds like him. that's exactly why i didnt tell him ever cuz he has a big mouth . apparently that didnt work for me lol. i don't know how to even bing up somet stuff tho. i did want to bring up the whole friends on phone thing before but now it's kind of late, you know. that happened not last weekbut the weke befor.e i feel like id be bringing up old stuff. and the weird vibes...i dont know either just cuz im the weird acting one. i know for sure i will let him know that i KNOW jorge said that i liked him etc etc. not to say he's a liar but let him know i know which is why i was asking. but i was just going to go ahead and tell him that i had a teensy crush since that was already put out there and since they discussed. that makes me lmfao. but i wasnt telling him because i was necessarily waiting for his response in sense of hoping he liked me back (esp after all this) but just getting it off my chest since I don't think he likes me really, and ive prepared myself for htat. And I will let him know i still wnat to meet him as we already had with no changes in this "friendship". I KNOW ill get over my crush with him since i always have gotten over my crushses lol

n many of them are now my friends.

thanks BRITTNI! you have helped SOOO Much!

 

[milamonster]

so i finally met him. we wnet to his party last night it went well. he invited me to the party didnt think i was coming since i didnt tell him because i was just goign to show up out of nowhere. but i HAD to call him cuz my friends and i didnt know which house it was. He was like you shoudl stop by and i like im effin here. outside. which house is it . he's like youre lying or you serious. im like im dead srious tho. and he didnt belive me. i was just like is it the house with the lgihts outside then he knew iw as really there so he opened the door and gave me a hug. It was cool seing him in the flesh and everything and we talked about this. He described the moment as being anti climatic an i was kinda offended til he explained that he thought that there had to be something wrong with me or id be anythign less than i presented myself . and that in turn would be the climax like in a movie; the turning point. but he says when he met me and i was the same and stuff, that he was relieved . And he said it would be nice to be able to say we met at a party instead of online cuz he feels like people will judge that.



He came over and tlaked to me and would join in my convos and then would talk to others so i had a good time to talk to him. HE told me that he didn't want me tot hink that he ignored me (totally didnt so dont know why he said that) and that he enjoyed chatting with me bu t that just means we have to meet up more and go to more parties an d that way we talk more . He comes off liek he's a genuine guy and real chill. My friends ended up really liking him and they hit it off well with him too. But who knows. i felt courageous? lol. i don't know, anywho, we left then my friend had to use the restroom and she just went back to his house since we couldn't find one and she just went in while we stayed in the car. so when she came out before she left my frined was like oh yeh you know khamila? he's lik yeh i do. and then she s like so you know khamila what are you guys frineds? and hes like yeh we're good friends. then she s like "just friends?" putting emphasis on just and she says he was like yeh...im not sure...maybe more? then she left.
im like umm what? she told me and my friends all this and we was just confuzzled cuz i know he knows she would get in the car and tell me wat he said. He sems like hed be cool to hang out with so we're probably going to parties that they throw since it was a cool atmosphere and the folks are cool too. I'll prob call him soon to tell him we all had fun and for bein a good host and all...

 

[babiid0llox]

Quote:

Originally Posted by milamonster ugh ths is so messed up. i jujst found out Jorge told Benga (dont know how long ago) that i liked him and ask him abunch of questions about him. Which i didnt say or do.

Don't you just HATE it when people do that

My friends always do that to me, cuz apparently I'm shy

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by babiid0llox Don't you just HATE it when people do that My friends always do that to me, cuz apparently I'm shy

yeh!!
none of my frinds usually does that but i think he did that cuz he thought i was being shy and tha ti really did like him...

 

[babiid0llox]

Hehe cute, have you made the phone call yet? If so how did it go??

Also I saw your myspace, you're really pretty by the way

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by babiid0llox Hehe cute, have you made the phone call yet? If so how did it go?? Also I saw your myspace, you're really pretty by the way

aww thanks sweeetie
if you look at the post above yours, that's my update. He did not call but I called him like a week later and he acted like everythign was cool and stuff and we were just chattin lik old times. THen later that day he sent me an invitation to his party. So I told my friends and yeh...

 

[Brittni]

When is the party???? YOU GOIN!???
and ditto - you're verrry pretty

 

[milamonster]

you guys have to read the post. I DID go. THe first post on the 2nd page (this one if you can read it) is an update on how it went.

BUUTTT the only thing is the last part where my friend said that...well she was drunk and she has changed the story of what he actually said, so im nots ure if he did say that except for im saying we're good frineds. I talked to him a bit last night for like 4 minutes when I took a quick break from the club I was in. I will prolly talk to him later this week.
I do not think that he likes me though. Because he's had way too many chances and if he really is shy (which he is when others are not around cuz I was noticing how he acts) then he needs to get over it. But nonetheless I will continue talkign to him and hopefully hanging out more as a frined. Because I think he's a real cool smart fun guy.
thanks hun.

 

[Brittni]

Quote:

Originally Posted by milamonster you guys have to read the post. I DID go. THe first post on the 2nd page (this one if you can read it) is an update on how it went. BUUTTT the only thing is the last part where my friend said that...well she was drunk and she has changed the story of what he actually said, so im nots ure if he did say that except for im saying we're good frineds. I talked to him a bit last night for like 4 minutes when I took a quick break from the club I was in. I will prolly talk to him later this week. I do not think that he likes me though. Because he's had way too many chances and if he really is shy (which he is when others are not around cuz I was noticing how he acts) then he needs to get over it. But nonetheless I will continue talkign to him and hopefully hanging out more as a frined. Because I think he's a real cool smart fun guy. thanks hun.

I think (no, I know! LOL) you are over thinking it again. But first, WOOT WOOT! I am so proud of you for going and happy that everything was not only safe, but fun!

Anyways, as for not thinking he likes you...what do you really expect after only meeting once? Certainly, you wouldn't want him all over you like o0o0o I like you soo much 'cause that might come off as desperate or creepy, you know? And he is showing interesting in hanging out more which I think is great and you should definitely do! The best things happen when you least expect them!

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittni I think (no, I know! LOL) you are over thinking it again. But first, WOOT WOOT! I am so proud of you for going and happy that everything was not only safe, but fun! Anyways, as for not thinking he likes you...what do you really expect after only meeting once? Certainly, you wouldn't want him all over you like o0o0o I like you soo much 'cause that might come off as desperate or creepy, you know? And he is showing interesting in hanging out more which I think is great and you should definitely do! The best things happen when you least expect them!

this time im definitely not overthinking it
im sending you a message

 

[babiid0llox]

Quote:

He sems like hed be cool to hang out with so we're probably going to parties that they throw since it was a cool atmosphere and the folks are cool too. I'll prob call him soon to tell him we all had fun and for bein a good host and all...

Hehe re-read your post- the first one on the 2nd page, that call

Plus I agree with Brittni- seriously if he was all over you when you guys first met he would come off desperate and creepy. Me no think you're reading TOO much into it

cuz you think like me lol. But yeah just go with what you're doing now- hanging out with him as a friend and keep talking..cuz you never know where that may lead

(NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY) lol

I really like font and emoticons today

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by babiid0llox Hehe re-read your post- the first one on the 2nd page, that call Plus I agree with Brittni- seriously if he was all over you when you guys first met he would come off desperate and creepy. Me no think you're reading TOO much into it cuz you think like me lol. But yeah just go with what you're doing now- hanging out with him as a friend and keep talking..cuz you never know where that may lead (NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY) lol I really like font and emoticons today

oopsy sorry i thought you were talking about the earlier one. I haven't called hima nd sat down to really talk to him. I DID call him yesterday cuz we were in a club and i needed a break from all the smoke and all the people so i talked ot him for like 5minutes. We had a dicusion about 420 and I was tleling him where i was and how my sister told this guyw ho was selling shirts that i liked him (i guess to get a free shirt lol) and then he switched topics real quick and said he had to go.
so ill talk to him sometimes this weeeek....maybe

 

[babiid0llox]

haha free shirts how cute!

Maybe he's jealous that's why he switched topics

 

[milamonster]

Quote:

Originally Posted by babiid0llox haha free shirts how cute! Maybe he's jealous that's why he switched topics

ahhaa that would be nice but naw, i dont know. i dont usually bring up gusy with him so ive never seen a pattern. haha

 

[milamonster]

update: i told him that i had a crush on him and that i want for him to be normal with me and not akward or anything.The whole point of me telling him was to encourage him to be "the same" rather than to get a response. I realize and know that if someone doesn't like you then they do not like you. I can get over my crush because I have before. And I know that I can be frinds with someone that I have a crush on as I have before. BUT I cannot remain frinds or keep in contact/talk to anyone if they're being weird. And I truthfully would like to know now. I let him know that I would be the excact same as well. After I was done spilling my guts he says : "thank you so much for telling me. If you call me back in a couple of days I'm going to give you some advice". My first response was "oh no! some advice? " and he says "yeh, some advice". In my head im thinking ...Advice is given when you not only ask but often when you talk to someone they might give you advice on certain stuff (lfor example, "next time you should blah bloah blah". I just expressed how I wanted him to be the same so clearly if this was something mean he was going to say, he wouldn't remain the same because he has never been mena. This was definitely an unexpected answer so I'm like "ok, this sounds kind of bad, kind of mean" because i mean, i dont have any time for that (i didnt tell him i had a crush to find out if he had one on me!). And i said this all jokingly although I was dead serious. In response he says "naw, this isn't bad, it's good" in his somewhat flirty voice. So I was like ok. I told him to call me back not the other way around and to give ME a call. HE said he would when he wasn't busy so that he could talk to me. I have yet to receive the phone call, but I'm confused, what is this? One friend thinks it's "payback" because I once called him telling I had something important to say then ended up telling him to call me back in a couple of days . I don't think my frined is right . That would be dumb lol BUT I am quite curious to know this advice? Since I didn't ask for it ahha.

 

[milamonster]

as a maybe final updat, i talkd to benga . i called him and he was just talking about whatevr. i thought he would say somtheing but he just didn't. wasn't like he was goint out of the way to avoid it. so basically iw as lik oh im calling you back since you told me to. and he goes "oh yeh wll friday would be a good day since i hav finals tommorow". so i was like ok, ill talkt o you later. convo was normal other than that and he wasn't really acting weird or anything . so i didnt call him back then bcause i was busy i calld him back like a week or wahtever later and no answer. i never told him that i likd him to find out if he liked me back but i guess that sparked my intrest whn he said he had something to say. I think he's just playing mind games or whatever with me. simply bcause saying something like that is just dumb and makes no sense. He's making it hard for me to even be friends with him at all. He'll b graduating in a week. Last time I askd him he said he was staying but since i havn't brought that up in forever, i have absolutely no clue if he's even remaining here so i may nevr even see him again. I realize that perhaps he's not even the kind of person i would even want to be friends with or even hang out with. I askd him to be normal and remain the same and he's just wierd now.I've concluded that I am no longer going to make an effort to talk to him or anything like that. As in I won't be goign out of my way or anything like that. If and when (emphasis! )I am in contact with him I will hopefully have a serious convo. I wanted to update this but for the most part I haven't even thought of him at all and forgottn about him whcih is more than a good sign that I am on the road to being over him. I am yet again grateful for all advice and help ladies.