Phobia Help

[Chikky]

To put this in a short way...

I have an intense phobia. Of the stomach flu. I cannot be near anyone with it, I can't hear about it, I cant discuss it. Writing this is seriously freaking me out. I've always had this phobia. I'd have panic attacks as a child. And I cannot even think if I or someone in my family got this.

I need advice. A therapist is OUT of the question because I've had a lot of medical needs the last year and a half and bills are through the roof. I don't know what to do. Every minute of every day is spent worrying about myself or my family. It's going around constantly at my workplace, and wider spread in the community where I live. It literally made me cry today. My phobia has gotten so much worse lately. I can't think of anything but it. I fear that my writing this puts me more at risk for getting it.

I even really pray about this, and fear that my writing this and still worrying is showing little faith, when in fact I do have faith.

Does anyone have any advice? Books? I can't handle this much anymore. I just want to be happy and worry-free for once.

 

[Obreathemykiss]

Yikes, I kind of know how you feel. For some reason, my anxiety this year has been almost to the point it's ridiculous. I don't quite have a phobia to your extreme, but I am afraid of people coming to get me at night and killing me. I'm terrified of people stabbing me. I also recently had surgery and still have a fairly large wound right above my tailbone and I am afraid bugs are going to crawl in the little hole! I can't breathe sometimes, sometimes I can't sleep and I go grab knives and weapons to protect me. It's hard to live life trying to hide your fears from your friends and family-trying to not look crazy...

I am looking for a therapist. I've been on tons of different meds-but they were for depression before, never anxiety until Xanex and Paxil. Still isn't helping and my primary dr. doesn't want to prescribe anything else, she'd rather me talk it out and have a psychiatric professional talk to me.

I am so sorry you have to live your life like this. I know you said therapy is out of the question, but what about support groups? they're free and you get to bond with others who have the same issue...you kinda build on each other. Another thing I would suggest is seriously searching and researching online. Go to a public library and check out books. I wish I had better ideas for you. Maybe try yoga? Hypnotherapy? Herbal supplements/teas?

I hope everything gets better for you. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me. If I find new info, I'll def let you know.

 

[frocher]

.........

 

[rbella]

Are you afraid of stomach flu or puking itself? I used to be so deathly afraid that I was going to throw up in public. As soon as I left the house I would feel sick to my stomach and swear I had a virus and I was going to throw up in front of everyone. I still cry anytime I vomit. My doctor said I was "agoraphobic". My mother was and my sisters were as well so that sounded about right. A good round of paxil helped me out!!

Perhaps you could check out a free clinic? Then all you'd have to pay for are the meds.

 

[iheartcolor]

Fear of vomit/vomiting is called "emetaphobia". I also have this phobia. People think it is funny and a joke, but it is no laughing matter. I get panic attacks over it. I hate flying because I am afraid someone will be sick near me. I hate sitting near children because I know they do it without much warning. Once I start thinking about how it could happen anywhere, anytime - I get panicky and cannot get images out of my head. I myself have not done it from illness since I was less than 10 years old (and I am 29).

My sister vomited constantly when she was ill, and I think this is where it stems from.

So, I feel your pain. I do not know of anyway to get over it. In my opinion, it is no different than someone with a phobia of clowns, heights, spiders, water, etc. I NEVER make fun of what anyone is terrified of. I see NO REASON to overcome my fear - it would hold no value in my life. Why should I be "okay" with something as gross as vomit? I really avoid situation where it is more likely to occur. I still fly and sit by kids, and I know someday something will happen. Until then, I am ever grateful that I am "safe".

Someone once told me I should see someone to overcome it by the technique of systematic desensitization or whatever it is called, but I see no reason. I can't imagine what the "therapy" involves, and my heart rate is racing even thinking about it.

I don't see how meds can cure or help a phobia, but they can help by making you less OCD about it, therefore making you think about it less and less.

There are online support forums for emetaphobics. You could try them as an outlet for your stress. If you want to PM me, you can as I COMPLETELY understand your (our) fears.

-Lauren

p.s. If my BF ever got to the point of feeling ill like that, I would stay in a hotel. And he knows it so he is sure to tell me if that happens since he is very sensitive to me

 

[shadowaddict]

I really feel for you. I am 45 and I have been having panic attacks for about 16--17 years. I am on Xanax XR. I used to take the regular and I was actually able to go off of it for a few years and then my anxiety started coming back. But anyway a few years ago I had a viral thing and was sick to my stomach and for some reason at the same time I had horrible panic attacks. That's the only thing I can think of why all of a sudden I was scared to death of throwing up or even feeling somewhat nauseated. I can't even explain how I felt. Then I remembered from years before when I had the stomach flu and my doctor gave me Phenergan to take and it was like a miracle drug. Between it and the Xanax it pretty much knocked me out but hey I wasn't freaking out. So now I always have a few Phenergan on hand. This is like insurance for me. I know it's there if I need it. I've tried therapy a few times but just didn't get much from it. It can work wonders for some people though. Ok, this sounds bad but mine was getting old and my niece had surgery recently and her dr gave her some. She has panic disorder also and understands and so she gave me about six so I would have fresh ones.

But honestly it has made a world of difference to me knowing I'm not without help if I need it. I also keep a few regular low dose Xanax on hand in case I have a super bad attack I can take a half one to help right away. I hope this helps some. I know everyone is different and different things help. My brother is six years older than me and he has struggled with panic since he was about 30. Sometimes he can't leave his house, it's so hard. The worst part is so many people do not understand that this is a very real disease and affects your quality of life. My thoughts are with you. I hope you find help, don't give up.

 

[glassy girl]

Well the only advice i can give u is don't give up praying i have no phobia of any sort so i can't say i know how u feel but praying/meditating ect has always helped me in any hard situation good luck sweetie!!

 

[User93]

Chikky

I agree completely that its unaceeptable to make fun of people with any phobias, thats very personal and everyone has his right to be afraid.
I was afraid of this thing a lot when i was a kid, in extreme ways, i tried to keep out of ppl who felt sick etc. I am now aswell, just not that much like when i was a kid. What i wanted to tell you, that i think you can just live with it, if it doesnt bother you that much, and trust me, if one day you will have to be in a situation where you will have to get over your fear (eg your little kid beaing sick etc), you will get over it.

I have some phobias aswell, and i have some mental problems :/ Im afraid when my Mom feels bad, i literally am in panic, i start crying, its getting hard to breath etc.

But i know i gotta help her such moments so i try to get over myself and do my best.
Also im afraid when the train in the subway stops in the middle of tunnel for some minutes. Here it happends, most times just because the previous train took long so they have to keep the distance. But when it stops, im getting very scared, all people go on talking, and i cant do anything, even listen to ipod, until it starts going again. And once gain, when you are in the state when you have to get over your fear, you do. Once my train stopped like that, was standing for abot 10 mins, then the lights went off.. I was so scared, but then they announced there were some troubles so electricity is just off. We've spent like that 40 mins

, and i was scared. but understood i cant panic or anything, It was ok in the end.

We all have our bigger or less fear, we all have the right for it, it only becomes a huge problem if it doesnt let you do the right thing once you have to. But in most of the cases, people get over it when the situation requires it.

Oh, and just to add- i have a major sick fear of my bf breaking up with me and our long-distance relationship ending

. What hurts the most, is that i know it will one day. But this is a real anxiety and fear, idk what to do with myself, yes, im a self-sufficient person, but the fact he wont like me no more sets me to panic. I cry, i dont know what to do, i cant realise whats going on, its hard to breath... This is ot healty at all, it even spoils our relation i believe, i always "see" things, always "notice" he likes me less or something. Thats a real phobia

Obreathemykiss, honey,

im so sorry you feel this way. What you gotta know, is that your family & friends is always with you, that nothing like that can happen to you. I would suggest drinking some natural calming stuff, herbal drinks, camomile, before you sleep.

And the bottom line, i believe no therapist can help you until you decide deep in your mind that you seriously wanna get rid of the phobia, thats its time to let it go, forget about it, and just dont care. Its like a struggle inside us. So i suggest one time you feel like getting out of bed, turning the lights on, taking something etc just NOT do it. Of course you gonna feel very anxious, but try to get over it, and just lay. In the morning you will realise nothing happened with you. Then the other day you do it again. Slowly, you will feel like nothing gonna happen to you. That what i did with my cousin, she was very afraid of dark and whenever she was falling asleep she was begging to leave the light.

 

[rbella]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi Im afraid when my Mom feels bad, i literally am in panic, i start crying, its getting hard to breath etc. But i know i gotta help her such moments so i try to get over myself and do my best.

I completely understand this feeling. Sometimes, my mom will get the flu and I'll lie in bed for days in deep depression because I realize she is getting older. I can't breathe and I panic and I cry and it is horrible. If she coughs I try to take her to the emergency room. I cannot deal with the thought of losing her. She is my best friend and an incredible mother. It's hard to be strong during times like that. My mom had back surgery recently and it was terrible. I stayed at her home for a month because I was afraid she would fall and die. Thank God my husband is so understanding. You aren't alone, mom's are the best.

 

[pumpkincat210]

I have this same phobia. I started taking the anti depressant Paxil several years ago and it has helped me alot, but i'm bipolar too. You may not need medication but rather some counselling and behavior modifacation therapy.
This year me and my whole family got the stomach flu. It was not fun but we got through it and now my fear isn't as bad because i lived it.
Don't let things that "might" happen upset you, or else you'll always be afraid of them and miserable. Just remember, as of this moment you are okay.

 

[User93]

Rbella, I feel you SO GOOD! Seriously, thats just how i am. Sometimes my Mom had migrenia (serious headaches) or her heart was hurting, and i just sit next to her, begging her to take her to emergency room, call the emergency etc.. While at the same time im afraid of going there. My Mom is very independent, such moments she was just telling me to go in my room do my things and let her rest.. And i could stay in bed the whole day with no food, no drink, no sleep at night in depression. If i hear some noise like coughing etc from her room at night i get in panic she feels bad

And always annoy her with questions how she feels like. She says im crazy

 

[Chikky]

Quote:

So, I feel your pain. I do not know of anyway to get over it. In my opinion, it is no different than someone with a phobia of clowns, heights, spiders, water, etc. I NEVER make fun of what anyone is terrified of. I see NO REASON to overcome my fear - it would hold no value in my life.

Your post was great. Everyone's was. I feel better knowing I'm not the only person. Sometimes I feel so alone with this, because many people just discount it as 'not a real phobia' and tell me that it's easy to get over. At work, they make fun of me for wiping down the computer and phone everyone uses when I use it.

But... I don't know. I don't know if I'm misunderstanding you... But it holds HUGE value in my life. It's my everyday.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi I am now aswell, just not that much like when i was a kid. What i wanted to tell you, that i think you can just live with it, if it doesnt bother you that much, and trust me, if one day you will have to be in a situation where you will have to get over your fear (eg your little kid beaing sick etc), you will get over it.

Well, here's the thing. Every time I am exposed to it, it gets worse and worse. It's gotten to the point that I am paralyzed by fear for my family with this, too. And I wanted kids my entire life, but the very thought of my having morning sickness and dealing with sick kids has made me decide that I no longer want children.

My mom, almost especially, because I know that she will have to go to work sick and work for 12-14 hours a day because she is the only person who can do her job. That all terrifies me. I'm tearing up just typing this. It's just gotten so much worse the past few years, and I don't know if it's because of ME, or because of the fact that I was continually sick for the past year and a half before they finally found out what was wrong with me (physically).

I just don't know. I would love to be carefree, but I also feel like my vigilance and prayers and faith help because I want us all to be safe so much that I cannot give that up.

...I also feel like typing this is just asking for someone to get something...


EDIT - And sorry I accidentally originally posted this is the wrong place. Thanks for moving it, whomever did.

 

[User93]

Chikky, *hugs*

I couldnt understand from your post, you said you had some health problems? Do you think that could cause your fear? Sometimes out fears just appear out of nowhere aswell, i was so afraid of the same thing when i was a kid! But when you say it affects the fact you want a kid or something, thats getting serious. Of course, no one wants morning sickness, and stomack flu is gross for sure, but when any fear starts to affect your life in this way, its not good at all.
You shouldnt ever let your fear be stronger than you, no matter what you are afraid of. You should know that yes, you're afraid, and thats your right, you can be afraid as much and as long as you want to, but you can't let the fear spoil your life.
I understand you, i know this feeling when you cant breath, move, when you hardly feel your legs so terrified you are, when you bust in tears. But every time you do it, the fear gets 1 point stronger. Sometimes you dont even need therapist, i believe in the power of mind, and that you can get over things yourself. But you gotta tell yourself that you wanna get rid of it, slowly, step by step.

You say there are thing about your Mom, and about yourself which scare you, is it getting better when you are talking about it? Maybe you can tell here, and start "letting it go" by this? And also, ok just don't throw roaten tomatoes at me if this sounds crazy, ok?

When i was a kid and had a nightmares, my grandma taught me a little trick - to go to bathroom, let the water run in the sink and tell about the nightmare, to "let the water wash it of". And when you stop the water, it has taken away bad assosiations. Idk, it caled down me when i was a kid, and the same trick i did to my cousin.

 

[Nadeshda]

Hey Chikky!

I know you said that a therapist is out of the question, but it really is the best way to go around it. Wait until your finantial situation is better - or go to a college and see if they have some office you can go to. My faculty has loads of services available to the general public - family therapy, psychodynamic therapy, psychological assestment... these are just a few.

You should really look for a cognitive-behavioral therapist, they'd help you out in no time. It really is the best way to go, because there are techniques that are not too harsh, you start out by the things you are least afraid of, and gradually work your way up.

You also mention that everytime you are exposed to it, you get worse - that's because you are leaving the situation while your anxiety is still peaking. Doing that will strengthen the phobia - the trick is to leave the situation ONLY when the anxiety is lowering, or, ideally, when it has disappeared.

Anxiety and fear are survival responses - they've allowed our ancesters to run away from lions and whatnot

The problem is that, sometimes, we associate things that are not life-threatening with danger. That means, basically, that you are afraid and feel anxious when you think of puking/stomach flu because, to, you, that is a threat to your life. Rationally, you may think that it won't kill you, but your body still reacts like that. Try telling yourself that... I'm terrified of spiders and I've been doing a lot better since I made an effort not to run away from them... although I end up squashing them most of the time (I really shouldn't be doing that lol). I also start telling myself that spider won't kill me and it helps a bit.

 

[iheartcolor]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chikky Your post was great. Everyone's was. I feel better knowing I'm not the only person. Sometimes I feel so alone with this, because many people just discount it as 'not a real phobia' and tell me that it's easy to get over. At work, they make fun of me for wiping down the computer and phone everyone uses when I use it. But... I don't know. I don't know if I'm misunderstanding you... But it holds HUGE value in my life. It's my everyday.

I am glad my post helped you - even if only a little bit!

I think my last sentence came out wrong - it WOULD be valuable to *not* be terrified of vomit and sick people - I just can't imagine what it would involve to get over the fear. And since the chances of me encountering "it" on a daily basis is really, really slim - I think I am okay.

It is kinda hard to explain what I mean - it is easier to feel my feelings than put them into words!

The fact that children vomit increases my reasoning for not wanting them too. It may be "cruel" or "weird" but I don't care. If it was gobs of spiders that came out instead - I bet a lot of arachnaphobids would think twice, too.

-Lauren

 

[k.a.t]

I have a fear of people and myself being sick too, though i wouldn't go as far as calling it a phobia. I absolutely hate the 'V' word, can't stand seeing it or hearing it, makes me feel sick. I cry whenever i feel sick because i'm scared i'm going to throw up. I went through a period of hardly eating anything at all, and if i did it would just be simple things like boiled potatoes or whaveter because the thought of something making me throw up terrified me.

Sorry i can't be of much help to you, my fear used to be a lot worse but i don't really know how it has improved :S I'm so sorry you have to go through this, hopefully you'll find something that'll help you overcome it. All the best xxx

 

[MAC_Whore]

I used to be pretty afraid of vomitting and other's vomitting, but it lessened over the years. I don't think it really qualified as a phobia, as it really didn't control me, it was just more of an intense dislike for the situation. I think this stems from an event that occurred in my childhood. I'll spare you all the details.

One way I desensatized myself was forcing myself to watch and listen when charecters in movies throw up. The other day DH had some food poisoning and I forced myself to not put on my iPod to block out the sound. Funny, yet gross, I know.

I hope you do feel better soon and get some assistance. It really sounds like you could use someone to talk to. For an issue that is upsetting you that much, you should address it with someone. You deserve peace in your life.

 

[ZoeKat]

Chikky, I know you said a therapist is out of the question because of $, but do you know if your community has any free, low-fee, or sliding scale counseling agencies? Therapy can certainly be expensive, but there are some wonderful agencies out there. I'm a therapist at an agency that charges very low fees depending on the client's income. I have clients who only pay $2 each week to see me.

I have a book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook that I use with clients. It has sections on each anxiety disorder and is written so that a potential client can use it without the help of a therapist - it describes treatment methods and techniques that can be used on their own or in conjunction with meds. Systematic desensitization is a recommended technique for treating phobias, but it is safest and most effective when done with an experienced therapist. Good luck, I hope you find something that helps you cope with it.

 

[User49]

I have a social phobia! Try that one out for size! I hate being in confined or even large spaces with lots and lots of people when its quiet. This year for some reason I have been a hellaof alot better than the past three. I still refuse to ride on buses or go anywhere that I can't easily walk out of (large stadiums ect). Here is how I've coped with my phobia:

1) stop drinking coffee if you do already - it seriously aggrivated my anxiety and since I cut it out I feel a lot calmer! Honestly try it for two weeks!
2) work out the anxiety around the phobia, you may not be able to compleatly rid yourself of this but you can calm yourself down when you have anxiety attacks because your body can be in two states - calm or panicked, you have the control over it weather you feel like it or not you do. You have to work on breathing, your negative thoughts (usually when I get panicky my thoughts go out of control negative and I start thinking of the worst that will happen)
When a psychologist said to me 'what's the worst that could happen' I had a long hard think. I think the worst that could happen is that I would end up embarrased in front of strangers. Once i worked on realizing it didn't matter too much it helped.
3) Know that you aren't alone, but everytime you think about your fear you make it bigger and bigger. every time you avoid a situation because of your fear you are telling your subconcious and yourself that you have a reason to be afraid.

By the way I think that once you have actually caught this bug and get better your phobia will go away...xx

 

[Chikky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi Chikky, *hugs* I couldnt understand from your post, you said you had some health problems? Do you think that could cause your fear?

Nah. Good thought, but I've had the phobia forever. These health things have just been the last year and a half.

Quote:

Chikky, I know you said a therapist is out of the question because of $, but do you know if your community has any free, low-fee, or sliding scale counseling agencies? Therapy can certainly be expensive, but there are some wonderful agencies out there. I'm a therapist at an agency that charges very low fees depending on the client's income. I have clients who only pay $2 each week to see me.

My community is really small. We don't even have a library or gas station... Much less a street light! Heh. So no, we don't have anything like that. Though I'm not sure if anyone else around here does. I've never heard of anything like that!


Quote:

By the way I think that once you have actually caught this bug and get better your phobia will go away...xx

Thank you for the thought... But rest assured I've had it growing up, and every time I or someone else gets it, my phobia gets alot worse.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts and good wishes. I do appreciate them all, and all the ideas.