Relationship advice, please...

[Chikky]

So... Here's the short version of the story. My 'guy' and I have known one another for about 13 years now. He had a girlfriend then, and had them throughout the times we knew each other. He was engaged twice, each time the girl leaving him, and meanly. So... things between us eventually go from friends to flirty. Then more.

Then he got really sick. The medicines he had to take had an emotional side effect. For 6 months I was the only person he spoke to other than his parents. Plus how these other women did things to him in the past.

Um, did I mention I had a crush on him forever? Heh.

Anyhow, so we kinda... Moved past friends. And I knew he wasn't ready for a girlfriend. He was recovering medically and emotionally. This was four years ago.

He won't go out with other girls. We talk every night. We do something every week. But he won't say I'm his girlfriend. Every time we talk about it, he is just so amazed at how time has passed so quickly, and how he's just not ready. So I don't ask anymore. It's too good how things are to risk ruining things.

Physically, things were great, though no sex. I don't think he wants to; not yet. He'd be my first. I think that's a lot of pressure. Though we've kinda waned on that... Though I think that's how it goes with how long it's been! Hehe. Plus with my medical stuff, I kinda changed, too. I'll have to get that back on track.

He's been with me through my ongoing illness, now, and this year... For the FIRST time ever, he bought me a Valentines gift, and took me out.

I'd love to move things along. Any wiley womanly ways to do so?

 

[makeup_wh0re]

I have no advice, I am terrible at these things, but good luck though.

 

[Chikky]

Thanks... Though it occurs to me that I need to grow or find some feminine wiles... Quick! He's looking at buying a house and said he's only move in with someone in a NEW house (though I think that's a crock since his one ex he wanted to move in), and he's finally looking at houses.

 

[makeup_wh0re]

Just proceed with caution. life is short so you gotta live it, but be careful cuz you only have one lol.

 

[Chikky]

Well, I wouldn't do anything stupid. I guess I was trying to make light of it and look for help...

 

[V15U4L_3RR0R]

Have you sat down with him and talked about how you feel and found how he really feels about it and why he's hesitant?

All I can really say is if he's not ready to go where you want to take it then you can't force him. It has to be something that you both want to jump into together. You have to decide if that's worth waiting for or not. If you stay single for him forever then you might miss out.

 

[macface]

The only way you could find out things you need to be straight out and talk to me him.ask him if hes over his ex.

 

[Glassdoll]

i agree with the previous replies. u should have a talk with him and see whats his reaction. He may not be over his ex, but then since he actually brought u out on valentines, it may his way of hinting that he wants to move things along as well? Idk, i'm not too good at these kinda stuff. But u should talk to him.

 

[Brittni]

I think because of both of your pasts and especially with him being hurt by other girls that the slow route is the best way to go. It's definitely an improvement if he took you out on V-day so you should be happy with that. Good things come to those who wait, but I definitely think there is a time and a place that you should try to have a more serious talk with him. If he isn't willing to talk back about it then don't push it, but it's definitely good to get your feelings out there because if you never try you'll never know.