Self esteem

[Miss Pumpkin]

Does anyone ever hate themselves so much they start crying or don't even want to look in the mirror? I sometimes have really low self esteem moments, I want to overcome them but it's so hard... I keep thinking one day my boyfriend will find someone better, prettier and with a better body and it scares me so much.

Today I did makeup for a photoshoot... the model did a sexy calendar for her boyfriend, so pretty much she was in just undies during the 4 hours... She was very thin, with perfect breasts, not a hint of cellulite anywhere in her body... And I was fine because I was doing what I like doing (makeup) but when I got home and looked in the mirror I wanted to throw something at it...

Meh. Sorry for ranting, I just feel low today after seeing this perfect girl.

 

[Shimmer]

If I spend an extra amount of time working on something in photoshop, or reading Cosmo or Glamour I feel the exact same way you just described. Or if I spend time at the gym and see 18 year old girls with their little figures with no extra weight etc. I get ooky.

Then I remember how many of them scarf n barf, and that while yes, I'm carrying a bit extra, I'm also beyond having to deal with the baggage that goes with being that young. :/

 

[Miss Pumpkin]

Yeah I know that... I just wish I liked myself more, I can go from thinking I look ok to thinking I'm fat in 3 seconds... I just hope all this exercise I'm doing will show soon. :/

 

[giz2000]

I think most women have days like that...loving yourself the way you are is a lot easier said than done...and the women you see in the magazines don't really look that way (oh, the wonders of Photoshop)....btw, I have seen many a gorgeous woman with a perfect body dumped by their boyfriends/husbands....just because they may be thin with "perfect" boobs doesn't mean that they're perfect!

Show yourself some love girl....I bet a lot of girls envy YOU...you're gorgeous!

 

[IslandGirl77]

I feel like this often. I'm always looking in the mirror at my imperfections. I have days where I feel really low. Some days I feel great, I guess you just have to find it in yourself to know your beauty. I think you have nothing to worry about you are a beautiful woman. I know it's hard though.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Pumpkin Yeah I know that... I just wish I liked myself more, I can go from thinking I look ok to thinking I'm fat in 3 seconds... I just hope all this exercise I'm doing will show soon. :/

It shows a lot quicker than you'd think

 

[aquarius11]

I agree with giz2000...you are an AMAZING beauty and I can bet a lot of women envy you...I always think to myself when I see your FOTD's and the pics with you and your BF, 'wow, she is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen!' I'm serious, you are gorgeous; stunningly beautiful. I know it doesn't mean anything with people telling you you are perfect just the way you are, you have to feel it yourself. But please, do yourself a favor and trust me when I say you are beautiful. And don't worry about your BF finding someone prettier or hotter than you, because that is not possible!

 

[Deirdre]

Gee, I wish I could give you some of my overconfidence.

Seriously girl, aside from being a total cutie, your personality just shines through in all your pictures. I've seen lots of photos, and so many "pretty" girls have such empty eyes. Most of us is on the inside, and the people I like best, male and female, are people with the really great insides. It sounds weird, but great looks only take you so far. Plus you only have them for a short while, so please, please, please take pleasure in your youth and beauty - trust me, everyone who knows you is, so why can't you get in on that action!

 

[ebonyannette]

I so feel you girl, I have struggled with low self esteem for most of my life. Most of the time I try not to think about it but if I let it, it will take over everything I do. Nothing I do is good enough, Im a total perfectionist and if I cant do something right I wont do it at all. So my
low self esteem carries over into other areas in my life and just kind of
makes normal everyday stuff really hard sometimes

Its a matter of looks and ability also, Im not so much obsessed over my wieght as I am my features. The things I cant change is what Im most self concious about, I know it sounds dumb but thats what I do.
The best thing to do is focus your energy on something else. The fact of the matter is, there is someone in this world prettier than that pretty girl at the photoshoot! If someone loves you Im sure its not for what you look like whether your gorgeous or not, take Christie Brinkley for example she is absolutely GORGEOUS but her 4th husband I think it was? still acted a fool. So its up to the person and if you have a great guy he will love you no matter what. Girl be happy you got one cause some of us dont even have that!

 

[little teaser]

i think every body goes through that and even the most prettiest girls when i lived in hawaii i meet the most beatufil girl perfect body hair face and when i first meet her she seem confident which made her more attractive but as i got to know her i realize she was insecure about her looks thanks to her cheating boyfriend that will kill anyones self esteem my bestfriend here in florida same thing beautiful but insecure and i use to go through that but you know all those young pretty girls will get older have kids ect so look at it this way even if your man did leave you for someone better she isnt gonna always be perfect we all age and beauty is in the eye of the beholder guys dont notice our flaws the way we do

 

[Beauty Mark]

Focus on the positive about yourself, if you can. What do you really love about yourself? Your eyes? Your strong makeup applying techniques? I think it's perfectly normal to have those moments, but I hope they are atypical for you and not constant.

Some of the beautiful people you see may have had work done, too. Cosmetic surgery is becoming more and more common. Some celebrities look terrible without makeup and Photoshop.

Most importantly, though, focus on what you like about yourself and try to stay with positive people who love you. They'll bring out the best in you and make you feel the most beautiful.

 

[Miss Pumpkin]

I try... But there's not many things I like about myself.

Last night I was on yahoo with my boyfriend and he said this

"the only thing that makes me want to get a small girl is the fact my womanly hippy girl is always a lala about wanting to be one, when i cant figure out why when she can see i'm with her the way she is and not with the kind of girl she wants to be"

I guess he's right... And I don't want to be a tiny girl, I like my curves... I just hate my legs so much. I can't seem to be able to get rid of cellulite, and if the exercise I'm doing now doesnt work I'll seriously consider saving and getting surgery or mesotherapy.

I can't even go to the beach with friends because I'm so ashamed of my legs. In summer I wore a bikini a couple times for the first time in about 5 years, and only because Matt was there and gave me the confidence to do it...

Meh. I might as well get a psychology book or something.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I don't like my legs either. They're skinny and slightly bowed. I think cellulite is one of those things pretty much everyone has. Losing weight/exercising I think minimizes its appearance, but I don't think you can get rid of it

If you feel like this is affecting your life in a big way, maybe you should talk to a therapist. It could be quite helpful.

 

[girlstar]

The thing about keeping yourself from doing something, like wearing a bikini, because you're worried about everyone else seeing you... 99% of the people around you are too worried about how *they* look in a bikini, to even notice the imperfections you notice after staring at yourself for hours

So I say just go for it.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

Honey, like 99% of chicks have cellulite, yes I am thin (and I mean thin) and I have so much cellulite its not funny - cellulite is apparantly hereditary (however you spell it) so don't fuss, and ya know what, it took me over 2 YEARS to feel like my bf wasn't going to leave me for someone thinner, prettier, smarter etc etc. And not everybody wants to be thin either, I would KILL for some gorgeous womanly curves... to me thats beauty and hella womanly... who wants to look like these thin girls that are so called "beautiful" I'm talking a la Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton and the likes... thin does not always = sexy!

 

[eowyn797]

oh, for serious. i know exactly what you mean and i have those moments constantly...

and yes, i also agree with absolutely everyone above who said you are one of THE most adorable people i have ever seen. that last Stawberry FOTD that you posted? my bf can attest to this: i squeed. i literally squeeked with joy at how cute you were in those last 3 silly-face pictures. and had a small moment of envy and self-esteem dip because i didn't look like YOU. so THERE!

it's a circle

you can't let it keep you from doing the things you love and from being the person you are. people will love you the most when you're not trying to be anything other than you.

 

[Christina983]

. .

 

[kimmy]

i know how you feel, my boyfriend's sister is gorgeous. obviously he isn't going to leave me for her, but it does a number on how i see myself when i see her all the time and spend so much time with her and she's just so damn pretty.

you are a gorgeous girl though, i think you should know that. you have such a classic, timeless quality

and don't worry about cellulite...i'm 5'7" and 103 lbs and even i have cellulite/stretch marks. they're just part of being a lady, i guess.

and trust me, you're not alone in your insecurities. i hate my legs, they look like Jell-o when they're touched and my stomach isn't flat at all anymore. i have a biiig forehead and fat little chipmunk cheeks and a slight Bohemian thing going on in the nose area. but i'm at terms with all that stuff. sure i hate it sometimes and wish it wasn't that way, but i think everyone looks at themselves that way at one point or another.

keep your gorgeous chin up, what you're feeling will pass, and soon you'll be able to see how beautiful you really are

 

[litlaur]

You are gorgeous, and from the pictures you've posted, it seems like your boyfriend absolutely adores you

But I can understand how something like that would bring you down. I did a lingerie shoot with a girl like the girl you described. I was like, "Why am I here?"

But I think women forget that many men prefer different body types, usually curvier women. They have a completely different idea of beauty, and you probably fit his ideal wonderfully

---
I get like this sometimes, lately for job/financial reasons. I'm the first college graduate in my family, and I did it on time! Everyone says they are so proud of me. I should be happy, right? I'm not. I would much rather be doing something else, but I feel like I would be letting everyone down by starting all over again (which I would have to for the fields I am truly interested in). I want to try to be successful (and happy) writing.

This may not sound so terrible to you, but it was really upsetting me for a while. My family has always had such high expectations for me. I was "the smart one". My parents would brag about me to their friends, about how I'm gonna be some big time reporter...and I don't want to do that anymore.

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE ANTHEM i know how you feel, my boyfriend's sister is gorgeous. obviously he isn't going to leave me for her, but it does a number on how i see myself when i see her all the time and spend so much time with her and she's just so damn pretty. you are a gorgeous girl though, i think you should know that. you have such a classic, timeless quality and don't worry about cellulite...i'm 5'7" and 103 lbs and even i have cellulite/stretch marks. they're just part of being a lady, i guess. and trust me, you're not alone in your insecurities. i hate my legs, they look like Jell-o when they're touched and my stomach isn't flat at all anymore. i have a biiig forehead and fat little chipmunk cheeks and a slight Bohemian thing going on in the nose area. but i'm at terms with all that stuff. sure i hate it sometimes and wish it wasn't that way, but i think everyone looks at themselves that way at one point or another. keep your gorgeous chin up, what you're feeling will pass, and soon you'll be able to see how beautiful you really are

Alrighty...girl, you need to get yourself a new mirror, because you are beautiful and very exotic-looking!