Selfish friends- Warning, rant

[Beauty Mark]

Yesterday, I discovered I'm losing my job (short version: my boss is a bitch and she didn't even act like she was sorry; she thinks it'll help me get a better job, WTF.) I'm hysterical, because I have an apartment (which I never would've signed a lease had my boss made it clear I was going to lose my job within a month of my move; she knew about me moving, too.) I tell 2 of my friends, who after a quick 'sorry' proceed to turn the conversation immediately back to themselves and their boy problems. I'm sorry they have guy problems (they're minor; it isn't like the boys are abusive in any manner), but let's see- comparing losing a job, not sure when I'm getting a new one, and being financially indepedent (no one in my family can/will help me)- I'd say that's a bigger deal. They know about my family, too.

I just can't believe the selfishness of my friends. I don't know what to do about them, but right now they're not the focus. Getting a job is.

I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm so incredibly hurt by how they're being, considering those two are among my closest

 

[Tash]

Maybe they don't want you to dwell on it. Maybe turning the attention away from your problems was their was their way of helping you out.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I'd like to believe it, but the one called me up once right after work (when I'm tired) pretending she wanted to know about how I was and then just launched into this huge rant about her then boyfriend.

 

[Shimmer]

Plenty of people don't know what to say in that situation, and will try to ignore it.
It was rather insensitive of them. :/

 

[Tash]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I'd like to believe it, but the one called me up once right after work (when I'm tired) pretending she wanted to know about how I was and then just launched into this huge rant about her then boyfriend.

I have friends like that. And normally that's why I don't talk to them as often. Maybe they don't realize what they're doing. Have you tried talking to them about it? Maybe they honestly don't think that there's anything wrong with what they're doing. Also, are they only children, because that could definately contribute to it. I used to be the exact same way because when I was a child, everything WAS about me.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Plenty of people don't know what to say in that situation, and will try to ignore it. It was rather insensitive of them. :/

I've been guilty of that a few times in the past.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

"oh your boyfriend didn't call you last night.. how tragic"

I have friends EXACTLY like that.. One in particular.. ONLY talks about herself and her ex boyfriend (they broke up 6 years ago!!!) .. constantly.. all the time.. even if I change the subject.. it immediately goes right back to her and her terrible decisions

I am sorry to hear that you are losing your job, I have been in that situation and it SUCKS , You just gotta get out there ASAP and find another job, Try looking in the paper, or Monster.com.. yahoo jobs.. craigslist has some too (just make sure you aren't applying to be some escort or something!! haha)

I don't know what to tell you about your friends.. . seeing as how i have that problem and haven't solved it yet..

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Yesterday, I discovered I'm losing my job (short version: my boss is a bitch and she didn't even act like she was sorry; she thinks it'll help me get a better job, WTF.) I'm hysterical, because I have an apartment (which I never would've signed a lease had my boss made it clear I was going to lose my job within a month of my move; she knew about me moving, too.)

My previous employer said that when I met her at a company get together when I was dropping off a friend who worked there. She was like, "Oh i'm glad, it really was better for you wasn't it." In her snooty british accent.

I really wanted to lay into her about how it was so good of me having to go on un-employment (which they fought hard not to pay), and beg my parents who I wasn't on the best of terms with for rent money so I woulnd't be evicted from my apartment because I was w/out work for 3 months.

Worst part was she didn't even have the guts to fire me to my face. I found out when my agency called me over the weekend, and I was told not to come in on monday, or step foot on the premise. And that they would clean out my desk and I could pick it up when they did that.

 

[amoona]

OMG I'm sooo sorry to hear that. Luckily you have us to rant to. ;-) What line of work do you do? IDK if getting a retail job would help or put you over until you find a new job ... unless you already do have a retail job.

I was in that situation once ... I was told by my boss who was also a "good friend" that I should quit by the end of the month because the other manager wanted to hire someone with more schedule flexibility. I was even threatened to be fired because my cash box was out of balance (I worked for a bank) one night ... he said if I didn't quit he'd have to fire me. So I quit and got some b.s. job workin at bebe for like two months until I found a job that pays.

I made NOTHING there haha ... they lied and told me I was making "like $16 an hour with the comission!" but my paychecks only paid my car payments and car insurance. So it was good enough to last two months, plus it was better then sitting at home and having my mom pay for it (takes away from shopping money haha).

I depend on my mom's income though which is different from ur situation. How long do you have before your done with the job?! Try to find something ASAP! If you need any help let me know ... I don't do nething at work but sit on here all day haha.

 

[little teaser]

im sorry about your job and friends situation, im sure you will find another job(probley not what you want to hear) but it's times like this is when you really find out alot about yourself and who your friends really are, hang in there, i wish you luck..

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae My previous employer said that when I met her at a company get together when I was dropping off a friend who worked there. She was like, "Oh i'm glad, it really was better for you wasn't it." In her snooty british accent. I really wanted to lay into her about how it was so good of me having to go on un-employment (which they fought hard not to pay), and beg my parents who I wasn't on the best of terms with for rent money so I woulnd't be evicted from my apartment because I was w/out work for 3 months. Worst part was she didn't even have the guts to fire me to my face. I found out when my agency called me over the weekend, and I was told not to come in on monday, or step foot on the premise. And that they would clean out my desk and I could pick it up when they did that.

I was fired the SAME exact way from my last Job!! Except They didn't even contact me.I went into work on Monday for 5 hours, and THEN i was informed of being "laid off" She said "oh well I tried calling you AT WORK on Friday (the day I was OFF) but you weren't there." ..

yeah because I dont Have a Cell phone.. OR a Home Phone??

.. I didn't even get paid for those 5 hours of work either..grrrrr..

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

I am sorry to hear that you are losing your job, I have been in that situation and it SUCKS , You just gotta get out there ASAP and find another job, Try looking in the paper, or Monster.com.. yahoo jobs.. craigslist has some too (just make sure you aren't applying to be some escort or something!! haha)

I am (and have been; my boss behaves shadily, so I kind of expected it but not so soon and how she did it), but applying for jobs feels like a crapshot, you know? Like you apply for jobs that, according to the description, you're their ideal candidate, but you don't even get an interview.

Quote:

Worst part was she didn't even have the guts to fire me to my face. I found out when my agency called me over the weekend, and I was told not to come in on monday, or step foot on the premise. And that they would clean out my desk and I could pick it up when they did that.

My boss had the nerve to explain to me that they don't have enough for me to do to keep me on payroll. That would be a legitimate excuse, except that they hired the old assistant as a temp. I sit around, doing nothing. The old assistant doesn't want help, my boss hates being asked for anything. I felt like 2 inches tall when I found out (my boss never told me; the girl just started showing up) the old assistant was back. And guess what? She is taking inventory, which means she is just counting. Nothing that difficult that I can't do.

Quote:

OMG I'm sooo sorry to hear that. Luckily you have us to rant to. ;-) What line of work do you do? IDK if getting a retail job would help or put you over until you find a new job ... unless you already do have a retail job.

Thanks. I currently am doing admin work, not because I love it but because it pays decently and it's easy and I'm qualified. Retail would make things better not but significantly, you know? I get paid $16/hr, and retail may pay $10/hr max. After I'm done here, I'll put in apps to retail places in my neighborhood.

 

[Raerae]

Go sign up with a temp agency in your area. Thats how I got my current job, temp to hire.

 

[amoona]

Oh well if you'd like to get into retail and pay is the issue I'd recommend you try to apply at one of the high end department stores. idk where you live but if you have a Neimen Marcus or Bloomingdales or Saks or Barneys in your area apply there! My friend is working at Bloomingdales and she makes $25/HR as a customer service rep. I honestly don't think retail is bad I loved retail and never had a problem working in the industry. Once school starts I'm going back to a retail job (hopefully at MAC).

Also good in retail is if you can get a job that pays commission, but make sure your hourly is decent. Like I said I worked at bebe for like two months and the hourly was only $8 so even thought I was kickin ass in sales and doing like $15k a week my pay was still crappy.

 

[Bernadette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK .. I didn't even get paid for those 5 hours of work either..grrrrr..

You should contact the labor board. that's totally illegal and these people should have to face the consequences and have a rcord of this.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bernadette You should contact the labor board. that's totally illegal and these people should have to face the consequences and have a rcord of this.

The only issue was The computer had deleted my name from the Clock in /out feature, so I couldn't clock in. I was unaware I had been fired, I thought the computer was being an asshole, It was famous for that.

They said they had no "proof" that I had been working that day..

it was such a load.

 

[Bernadette]

Beauty Mark, I know what you're going through.
I used to have friends like this and unfortunately during a really hard time in my life I realized how selfish they were and they weren't in fact my friends at all.
After being let down and hurt so many times I decided it was time to get rid of the toxic people in my life. I'm a really great friend, I will do anything for others and if someone can't even be decent to me, I don't need them in my life. A friend of mine always says "You need people in your life that charge your batteries, not drain them." I think that is a really great moto to live by.
I now have more amazing, loyal, just beyond awesome friends that I love to pieces, than I ever imagined I could.
I think it's a lot harder for us females to find true friends, it's been something that I've felt let down about many times. If you are a good friend and a good person, you can and will find other people like that

I'm pulling for you to find a new job asap and that things get better for you.
It's not the same but there are a ton of awesome people on here and you always have support on good ol' specktra

 

[Bernadette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK The only issue was The computer had deleted my name from the Clock in /out feature, so I couldn't clock in. I was unaware I had been fired, I thought the computer was being an asshole, It was famous for that. They said they had no "proof" that I had been working that day.. it was such a load.

Gah, I'm in a battle with a company over wages that they waited forever to pay me. There are fines they now have to pay me for putting me out. They never gave me pay stubbs though, in the end lot's of these situations are your word against theirs.
I'm getting something, jsut not sure how much, the next hearing is next week. These people are such lying a-holes.
The good thing about liars as always, they have a hard time remembering their lies

 

[Shimmer]

Labor Board.
Call them and initiate an investigation.

 

[medusalox]

I have acquantances that behave the exact same way. Really, the only thing that gets through to some of them is sitting them down, and saying "Listen, I'd love to talk with you about your boy trouble another day, but I'm here right now needing some support and understanding." It may sound a little blunt, but a lot of times, people don't realize that they're NOT helping by diverting your attention.

My boyfriend is guilty of this, as well.

I wish you all the best, honey!