Selfish friends- Warning, rant

[JULIA]

That's why you have Specktra, dear

We're always here to listen!

It's quite unfortunate. But they may be looking at the situation the same way you are but only reversed. It could be that they're thinking "why is she talking to me about this? I'm having man issues...that is more imporant!"

 

[Beauty Mark]

One actually contacted me, after seeing my Away message. She wanted more of an explanation of than that I was losing my job. I explained it in under a minute. I thought it was cheap of her to segway into her problems that way and give me such little time to discuss/rant about my problems. Had I spent 5 minutes, I may have been more understanding. This is someone who went on one date with a guy she met somehow (I'm not sure how, but I know she doesn't know him in any context that would mean awkward run-ins) and wanted to know how to call it off. I already had told her how I would've told him and laid it out very explicitly.

I am registered with several temp agencies, but things are so slow now because of the holiday. Hopefully things pick up.

Quote:

After being let down and hurt so many times I decided it was time to get rid of the toxic people in my life. I'm a really great friend, I will do anything for others and if someone can't even be decent to me, I don't need them in my life. A friend of mine always says "You need people in your life that charge your batteries, not drain them." I think that is a really great moto to live by. I now have more amazing, loyal, just beyond awesome friends that I love to pieces, than I ever imagined I could.

That's how I hope I can be. I've borderline let some of these people use me like a doormat. I stayed up late on work nights/nights when I'd have early classes to discuss their problems with them. When I pretty much got kicked out of my father's girlfriend's house, they pulled the same stuff. Their excuse was that they didn't know how to help. It's called listening. The worst one was a psych major and wants to be a counselor!

 

[YvetteJeannine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK I was fired the SAME exact way from my last Job!! Except They didn't even contact me.I went into work on Monday for 5 hours, and THEN i was informed of being "laid off" She said "oh well I tried calling you AT WORK on Friday (the day I was OFF) but you weren't there." .. yeah because I dont Have a Cell phone.. OR a Home Phone?? .. I didn't even get paid for those 5 hours of work either..grrrrr..

That is illegal!!!

ETA: I see this has already been addressed....it just made me SO angry when I saw what you wrote!!!

 

[kaliraksha]

I'm so sorry hon! I've had friends like that before... I would surely come over and watch movies with you and bring you ice cream if that helps. Friends don't have to be that way, I promise. If they are maybe they don't realize it.... and you should bring it up to their attention out of what you expect from your friends. Life gets much better when you refine your friends list if necessary.

Check out craigslist.org it has a plethora of information =)

 

[Bernadette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark That's how I hope I can be. I've borderline let some of these people use me like a doormat. I stayed up late on work nights/nights when I'd have early classes to discuss their problems with them. When I pretty much got kicked out of my father's girlfriend's house, they pulled the same stuff. Their excuse was that they didn't know how to help. It's called listening. The worst one was a psych major and wants to be a counselor!

It's really hard at first and sometimes really lonely but when you find people that treat you better you will be so much more fullfilled.
It's kind of hard to meet people when you aren't in school anymore. Maybe at your new job! That's something to look forward to. Get out and there and socialize, take a class, hang out at a coffee shop and chat up people wherever you go

As far as your friend that is the psych major... I know this girl that was a psych major and is a school counselor at a college and she is one whacky broad! She has thee most dysfunctional marriage I've ever seen and is just off her rocker even though she is really sweet.
I always feel like she's judging me because she's ultra conservative and I'm just like hunny, you aiint foolin' me!
I don't know how they do it! How do they not realize that they are crazy :shrug:

I'm editing this because I was just thinking, what about putting a post in the shopping buddies section on here. At least you know you already have something in common

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark The worst one was a psych major and wants to be a counselor!

well I certainly wouldn't Hire that counselor!
Can you imagine paying big money to talk to someone then they go on to story's about their own life! lol .. fantastic!

 

[redambition]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark ...I currently am doing admin work, not because I love it but because it pays decently and it's easy and I'm qualified. Retail would make things better not but significantly, you know? I get paid $16/hr, and retail may pay $10/hr max. After I'm done here, I'll put in apps to retail places in my neighborhood.

I hope you're doing ok hon.

Remember that at the end of all of this, you will have a fabulous new job and you will look back on this as a great thing that happened to you. (that's speaking from experience.)

The downside is that while you are going through all this it will feel like the worst thing that ever happened. (also from experience.)

if you are worried about making rent and bills and you're unsure whether you can find another job quickly, definitely look at a temporary solution. retail, hospitality or similar. it may not pay as well and you might be doing it tough for a while, but if at the end of the day it keeps your head above water then it's worth it.

don't get discouraged in your job hunt either. tailor your resume and cover letter for each role you apply for. small changes like emphasising different skills and matching them to what they are asking can help you stand out. if you don't get an interview - don't sweat it. you may not have been a good fit for what they are looking for... and you may well have hated that job if you were hired! they're doing you a favour by not wasting your time in an interview.

best of luck in the job hunt

let us know how you go and if you need more moral support. I'm sure you will find a dream job soon!

 

[thestarsfall]

I totally know how you are feeling. Not really with the job losing (I've never been fired, but I have had trouble finding a job)...but REALLY with the friends being bums part.

Try to find some friends or cultivate existing friendships so that you have friends who are empathic and caring and compassionate. And you can keep the shallow narcissitic friends but just dont go to them when you need anything important (like meaningful conversation or a good listener).

And hopefully they arent doing what my friends did and talking about you to each other saying that all you ever do is talk about yourself. (long story, but I wont go into it because this is your thread)

Good luck with jobs and everything!