Sex Offender as a Neighbor

[Nicala]

I used to live in my former area for 12 years. A while back, probably about a year ago or so, my friend told me that she just found out that a good handful of sex offenders lived around her area and told me to check if I had any around my part of town (she lives in FL, I'm in CA). Something I least expected - I had one NEXT DOOR! I told my mom about it and we recognized who it was. Which explained why he looked sort of weird and gave strange looks to me and other children in my area when I was smaller. I remember after that I kept everything locked in the house. I screamed when my mom knocked on the bedroom door, lol. Thankfully, we moved from there late August, so it's all good. I remember I checked by my school, and there was one that lived across from it.

.The best thing you should do is supervise your nephew/children whenever you are outdoors. People are really sneaky and could lure children in quickly, most if not all children are gullible.

 

[Simply Elegant]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple i'm going to speak from the other side of this situation, someone i'm VERY close w/ happens to be a sex offender this act happened when he was a child himself, and he has to be registered for the next 9 years i believe. He IS a changed person and realized his actions and would never hurt a child again. he's often depressed because he moves around alot because people will find out and harrass him when he wants to move on w/ his life. he's been to jail and he did his time .. i know this person may be a few in a bunch of monsters who wouldnt hurt a child again, yet he's still being punished for a crime that he's honestly sorry for, and maybe because i dont have children yet i cant see it totally from the other side, but just think about the persona nd how he may feel. he may just be a changed man regardless to what 'Simply Elegant' wrote. Just keep an extra cautious eye and if you see something WORTH reporting then report it. just dont be a Wanda from the show "In Living Color" and start telling everyone about it, it's bad enough he has no privacy as it is.

A lot of research shows that people do it again and if they don't they have been able to manage their impulse but they still have a desire to do so. Just like he's still paying for his crime, abused children have to deal with what a pedophile did to him/her for the rest of their lives and it's not easy. He may have changed, but most people don't. And I just find it so much worse with kids because they don't know what's going on and tend to blame themselves. This kind of thing ruins kid's lives sometimes.

 

[hhunt2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple i'm going to speak from the other side of this situation, someone i'm VERY close w/ happens to be a sex offender this act happened when he was a child himself, and he has to be registered for the next 9 years i believe. He IS a changed person and realized his actions and would never hurt a child again. he's often depressed because he moves around alot because people will find out and harrass him when he wants to move on w/ his life. he's been to jail and he did his time .. i know this person may be a few in a bunch of monsters who wouldnt hurt a child again, yet he's still being punished for a crime that he's honestly sorry for, and maybe because i dont have children yet i cant see it totally from the other side, but just think about the persona nd how he may feel. he may just be a changed man regardless to what 'Simply Elegant' wrote. Just keep an extra cautious eye and if you see something WORTH reporting then report it. just dont be a Wanda from the show "In Living Color" and start telling everyone about it, it's bad enough he has no privacy as it is.

Speaking about that... my bestfriends little brother is currently in jail waiting for his trial. When he was 15, he "touched" a 12 y/o girl. But he never learned, and did it again at 18 y/o; this time he told his victim (his cousin), I will kill you if you tell anyone. Now he is in one of the worst prisons in the Oakland, Ca area.

My bestfriends brother was like a little brother to me. I used to hang out with thier family, I trained him with his first job (which he still has/had), etc. He was family! I'm on the fence with my bff's brother; I never knew he was capable of doing such a crime (he would babysit his cousins children and was a care taker for his disabled grandmother).

 

[joygasm]

Being a victim myself, I don't care if you think he's changed. For them to ever think it is ok is just sick. He's only sorry because he got caught. That's how I see it.

 

[panda0410]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Elegant A lot of research shows that people do it again and if they don't they have been able to manage their impulse but they still have a desire to do so. Just like he's still paying for his crime, abused children have to deal with what a pedophile did to him/her for the rest of their lives and it's not easy. He may have changed, but most people don't. And I just find it so much worse with kids because they don't know what's going on and tend to blame themselves. This kind of thing ruins kid's lives sometimes.

ITA. In fact MOST paedophiles DO do it again. Very few of them ever reach a point where they dont re-offend in some capacity. Children often grow into damaged adults and they have to live with that trauma for the rest of their lives. Many people recover, but recovery is like any wound that heals - it leaves scars. These children often go on to become adults with intimacy issues and trust issues with other people - so then that same trauma affects their partners, their families and their children as they learn to cope with their damaged loved one. One single trauma can affect generations to come.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hhunt2 Speaking about that... my bestfriends little brother is currently in jail waiting for his trial. When he was 15, he "touched" a 12 y/o girl. But he never learned, and did it again at 18 y/o; this time he told his victim (his cousin), I will kill you if you tell anyone. Now he is in one of the worst prisons in the Oakland, Ca area. ).

Learning isnt possible. Straight is straight. Gay is gay. Paedophile is paedophile. Children turn them on and thats what they are attracted to. Imagine no sex for the rest of your life - pretty hard for most people! Sex is a normal part of our lives. Its the same for them, but children are their desire and that desire is internal - it simply doesnt stop or go away or be "learnt" from. Its part of who they are - and they are monsters AFAIC.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm Being a victim myself, I don't care if you think he's changed. For them to ever think it is ok is just sick. He's only sorry because he got caught. That's how I see it.

Ne'er a truer word spoken. They arent sorry. They believe they love these kids, that the kids love it, and that they are doing them a favour. These people are f***ed up, they think its normal and they generally rarely show empathy for their victims because in their own mind they think that what they are is ok....

 

[panda0410]

Anyone who feels its ok to leave their children with child sex offenders is a person who is negligent and in certain circumstances can be charged for doing so. Sex offenders in this country at least arent allowed to live with children, those parents who are aware of the situation and permit access anyway are seen as contributors to harm and under legislation can have their children removed from their own care for their own safety. I dont see how anyone can view that as acceptable and for those that permit access and then have their own children molested they have noone but themselves to blame. The worst factor though is that these children and babies are the ones who pay for their parents arrogance

 

[panda0410]

I happen to agree. You werent being attacked, neither one of us was doing so, and you have taken this too personally to be objective IMHO.

I dont suppport paedophiles and I dont support supporters of paedophiles either. Its a pretty common viewpoint for most parents who care about their children. In all honesty there is a 10 year database to keep tabs on paedpohiles for a reason. Even murderers dont have the same *follow up* that paedophiles get from the department of corrections. Research tells us that they cant be rehabilitated and they need to be overseen when they are discharged from custody - this exists for a legitimate reason and its because they are most likely to reoffend! I would like to see anyone successfully argue why that ISNT neccessary to any court of law given what we know about paedophiles behaviours and thought processes now.

There are always people who make singular mistakes - but this is not breaking a glass, or making a simple error. Violation of an innocent mind is right.... and there is simply no excuse for ever willfully doing that to a child. Imagine telling your child he/she was molested because his attacker just "made a single mistake". I dont think so.

 

[hello_my_apple]

obv. you cant have a opinion here thats different from the rest, because if you do your post will be deleted ....

 

[Half N Half]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple obv. you cant have a opinion here thats different from the rest, because if you do your post will be deleted ....

This is obviously a very touchy topic for people, no matter what side of the fence you're on. From my experience on Specktra everyone is welcome to express their opinion in a respectful manner, but it's not okay to fly off the handle and start freaking out and calling people names...no matter how sensitive of a topic it is. I think that may be what happened here.

 

[hello_my_apple]

if thats what you want to call it then fine, but the same respect wasnt given to my response to this thread, judgments were made and i felt the need to defend. i.e 'flying off the handle'



Quote:

Originally Posted by Half N Half This is obviously a very touchy topic for people, no matter what side of the fence you're on. From my experience on Specktra everyone is welcome to express their opinion in a respectful manner, but it's not okay to fly off the handle and start freaking out and calling people names...no matter how sensitive of a topic it is. I think that may be what happened here.

 

[joygasm]

My posts got deleted too, and I completely understand the situation got out of hand. Especially when the person messages me and tries to bring me down based off of my physical appearance...

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple obv. you cant have a opinion here thats different from the rest, because if you do your post will be deleted ....

i'm sorry that you feel that way. for me specktra has been one of the best places to state your opinions and people will listen. but at the end of the day people are always going to have different views. especially on such a touchy subject like this one. and as far as i am concerned as long as people state their views and opinions in a mature mannor then that is ok - no matter if i agree or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Half N Half This is obviously a very touchy topic for people, no matter what side of the fence you're on. From my experience on Specktra everyone is welcome to express their opinion in a respectful manner, but it's not okay to fly off the handle and start freaking out and calling people names...no matter how sensitive of a topic it is. I think that may be what happened here.

well said

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm My posts got deleted too, and I completely understand the situation got out of hand. Especially when the person messages me and tries to bring me down based off of my physical appearance...

wow, whoever that person was should feel very bad about themselves right now

you don't have to take abuse in 'real life' or on the net. and certaintly not about the way you look when that has nothing to do with the topic of disscussion anyway.

 

[Half N Half]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joygasm My posts got deleted too, and I completely understand the situation got out of hand. Especially when the person messages me and tries to bring me down based off of my physical appearance...

You know what? Whatever was said, don't even listen to that crap. You're a cute girl, let the haters keep hating!! lol

 

[Shimmer]

seriously guys, when personal attacks start, the thread is going to be modified, regardless of who started it.

 

[Boasorte]

It's complete bullshit when someone is defending a sexual predator. They have masks people, they may seem remorseful, but DUH! They're doing that to trick ppl, *sigh*
After being the victim of sexual abuse as a kid, I don't believe that ANY of those nasty ass pedophiles will change. Oh and you best believe I do online checks WHEREVER I go. I don't play.

 

[k.a.t]

We can't check for that here in the UK....

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by k.a.t We can't check for that here in the UK....

i know and it sucks! i can see why the don't let out that kind of infomation - to stop people potentially commiting crimes against the sex offender. HOWEVER i would much rather know who my neighbours were. especially if i had children.

 

[joygasm]

Wow. That sucks for UK. I checked my area and all the red dots just lit everything up!

 

[Nicala]

Quote:

Originally Posted by k.a.t We can't check for that here in the UK....

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMD84 i know and it sucks! i can see why the don't let out that kind of infomation - to stop people potentially commiting crimes against the sex offender. HOWEVER i would much rather know who my neighbours were. especially if i had children.

Have you guys checked rottenneighbor.com?

 

[k.a.t]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nubletta Have you guys checked rottenneighbor.com?

nope but i will now...