Significant Other issues

[mspixieears]

Quote:

Originally Posted by beautifulxdisaster oh gosh this is just like my ex. But it then changed into not talking to me for 2 weeks in the summer and on top of other lies and lies so it was bye bye. It kinda wounded me though, I now freak out when ever a cute guy tells me he plays CS... :/

Really sorry to hear that...*pats shoulder* I wouldn't say 'bye' to new cute computer-playing boys: I'd sort them into the ones that prefer human company to computer playing, and focus my attention on similar minded individuals.

 

[beautifulxdisaster]

yeah, that is true, I definitely won't cut them off! I just get hesitant. I'm gonna think about what you said and really sort em all from now

pinkminx, that sucks you can't go on myspace or clubbing because of that. He should realize that he's the one you are with at the end of the day, etc. and not get choked about a harmless "damn ur fine!" comment.

 

[Bubbles12_98]

I have something good to report about my Boyfriend!

He was getting his haircut today & the lady asked him if I was his wife & he said yes *hehe* He told me way after it happened though. He said that in all reality as long as neither of us does anything wrong (as in cheating or lying) then I will be in the future. AWWW! He's the bestest boyfriend ever.

 

[joytheobscure]

My husband of almost 10 years thinks that we should be rich and have all this money saved away (with three kids and him paying support for one). And I think that I'm 28 and I gave up my young adulthood to change diapers and clean up after him and the kids, I should be able to go to concerts occasionally and buy makeup/clothes/candles etc. after all I went to college and make $10,000 a year more than he does. Besides if I die young I have close to 100,000 in life insurance out on me, he wont' starve, LOL.

Mine also irritates me in that he's a cop and if I get pissed off about something he uses those "soothing" tones that he uses for people in domestics, LOL-- that "just calm down" blah blah... It irritates me. Mine also is obsessed with roleplaying computer games and stargate /smallville/charmed/WWE, the problem is he thinks the Tivo should be taping his shows when I'm home- god forbid now he has a way to control the TV while he's working!!! Oh aren't men fun! We're just alike I guess, we both have our little obsessions.

 

[joytheobscure]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pink_minx OMG I had the same situation! The reason why im not on myspace anymore is because my bf didnt like the fact that guys left me comments saying "you're looking hot" etc etc. Which is totally understandable but he kind of went overboard with it so im like ok im just going to delete the damn myspace! so now im here where no guys will hit on me because of my hot posed pictures lol and all I do is talk about MU and fashion etc. We are two totally different people which I like cause we can learn from eachothers opinions and the way we see life. Sometimes we dont agree with a lot of stuff but have to understand eachother's way of seeing some things. My bf and I had the biggest and stupidest fight about clubbing! Im the kind that likes to go out and dance with gf's but my bf doesnt like it cause clubbing is a way for people to hook up and guys hitting on girls and we argue non stop that for me its just some place fun to hang out and dance with my gf's but for him its not fun having guys hit on me and try to dance with me. But you cant help that all you can say is that "ohh i have a bf but we can JUST dance". Ya know? but my bf hates that it thinks of it as being with another guy but its not its all fun. Its not like im sleeping with them ya know? I mean what you girls think about this? Well sry for ranting so much but its been in my head for awhile any advice on how I can help my bf understand that going out to clubs isnt just for single people!?

Well I'm married, I don't drink, my little sister is 21 and likes to go out to this country and western bar (I like country music but I'm not a hick, lol) - anyways she'd won these two free passes and wanted me to go with her, I never go to clubs (not that I wouldn't like to) my hubby had a FIT he was thinking of ANY and Every excuse why I shouldn't my mom was going to watch my kids so I could go out. He said "we dont' have money" (what $5 extra for cokes???) then he said "you dont' want to go there" - talk about insecurity - he also made the point of saying "its not that I don't trust you" etc.... he made a big deal about being able to afford it, lol - when I could have a free ride there- it was insane... I'm sorry I do not think I'm that hot at all to have to worry about drunk old men hitting on me. LOL He tolerates me going to concerts b/c its not like Keith Urban or Gary Allan are going to come on to me, lol. I dont' know what it is?

I think its very flattering to be hit on, and its very nice to know that someone finds you attractive - Go have fun if you don't have kids to worry about thats my advice! I sit at home every saturday night- never go out to do anything- two or three times a year I go to a concert. My life is shopping -night class and a few shows. My hubby doesn't want to go out and do ANYTHING and sometimes its ok, but really - I'd like him to say "lets go to a movie" or anything! Wow, a vent thread is a good idea I've got a lot of repressed anger here. LOL

 

[vloky]

My boyfriend stresses way to much over money and bills. He chews me out every night for "not contributing" I give him over 600 a month! That's pretty much all our bills and not just him doing rent me doing electric,gas and cable! *grrr* and whenever I splurge on something like last week viva glam 6 pallette and a new liz claiborne wallet(so badly needed my old one was childish and held together with duct tape! it was only 15 bucks too, 40% off!) he guilted me every night, still is. He spends probably as much as I did every week on mcdonalds. And whenever I say anything about his budgeting he gets pissy, and Im supposed to listen to him chew me out and apologize? wtf ever! And whenever we go and do anything fun always his idea. he then later laments how we are going broke we won't be able to pay bills, we can't afford to do anything! wtf.

 

[Glow]

Mine is a stoner.
Majorly, Like he just left to go get trashed.
I'm not going to lie, I do share a joint with him once in a while.
But every freaking day is just too much.

 

[Bubbles12_98]

Eh, mine & I never go out to do anything b/c I spend all my money for gas to go see him & he's in between jobs right

BUT....I did tell him I'm treating us to a date on Saturday to see that movie "Prime" b/c its basically like us with the ages swapped(older lady, younger man).

I spent the night at his house last night & it was nice

We played Battlfield 2 together so I was happy with sniping people *lol* BUUUT my birth control is all out of whack & i'm spotting..and we got blood on the sheets

So we had to rush to clean it up, that sucked. He was like "I told you I hate doing stuff when you're bleeding..." Pffft I didn't hear him complain when we started. BUT other than that, lovely night.

 

[Cruella]

Ladies, I'm not trying to be condescending but you can all do a lot better than what you've got. A guy that won't let you go out with your friends or keep an online journal? What the hell business is it of his? Guys that would rather play video games than talk to you about your day?

And please don't give me that line "Oh, that's the way that guys are" because they are NOT ALL LIKE THAT. My husband is a terrific man who enjoys going out with me, who enjoys actually speaking to me, who doesn't tell me what I can and cannot do. We both understand money is tight so we do discuss any big purchases before making them. I definitely went out with idiots back when I was younger so I can appreciate what I have now.

Don't sell yourselves short, girlies. You deserve the best so don't settle for men who are: controlling; drug addicts; dead beats/perpetually unemployed; jealous; uncommunicative; etc. Men will act like morons because we allow them to get away with it.

 

[Bubbles12_98]

Out of that whole list my b/f is only the unemployed part but he's been putting in numerous applications so its not like he's not doing anything about it.

I have my MySpace again and I write in there frequently. I think my boyfriend is wonderful and I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone. Every couple has their occasional squabbles and I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

[Cruella]

Bubbles, my comment wasn't just directed at you, it was directed at several other people in this thread. There isn't any need to get defensive - if you are happy, than that is all that matters. It just sounded like many of the women in the thread weren't happy with their situations so I was throwing out some thoughts.

 

[Bubbles12_98]

I know...but I was just pointing out that stuff b/c I know I also have minor complaints about thingfs that happen once in awhile between me 'n my b/f. Its not major bumps or anything but just lil day to day tiffs, ya know? I do agree though that there are certain boundaries that guys have no say in.

 

[glittergoddess27]

S'okay Cruella,.. Wish someone had said that to me like 10 years ago. I stayed married to a big POS monster for 7 years with the airy fairy Disney idea that if you love someone enough that they will eventually get knocked over the head by your fairy godmother and love you back and treat you well. CAme out of it with no self esteem and bankrupt. Life doesnt work that way,.. I finally woke up, divorced his ass,.. got my finances back,.. make more money, raise our son pretty much by myself and am now determinedly holding out for that really special someone to come along,..though I do admit I would probably fall for the first guy that buys me MAC,......

 

[mspixieears]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joytheobscure Mine also irritates me in that he's a cop and if I get pissed off about something he uses those "soothing" tones that he uses for people in domestics, LOL-- that "just calm down" blah blah... It irritates me.

At the risk of further proving how much of a lunatic I am, I call this sort of pacifying voice 'placate-the-loony'. My shrink has used it on me when I've been very...upset. Which is fair enough, if they aren't your SO.

I think sometimes SOs forget that while they can be excellent voices of reason (as mine can, bless), they also have the power to obliterate negative/bad experiences by just giving a hug, or saying "Aw, come here hon, let me give you a hug, it's going to be ok, you're here now" etc. They can be good at making us not over-discuss it to the point where you get all worked up again.

I say this, having learnt the hard way...sigh. It might differ from others' experiences, but hope it is helpful.

 

[kaliraksha]

this should be a sticky, damnit! and we should always add just to vent.

my boyfriend has had a serious World of Warcraft issue tooo

 

[Pink_lily]

ooooh venting, just what i need right now.

my boyfriend hates the fact that i joined a co-ed business fraternity at my college. i've always wanted to get involved on-campus, but i've never been able to because all of the groups here either didn't hold my interest or i couldn't make it to a single meeting, so when i found this, i decided to join. he gets pissy every single time i go to a meeting, once a week mind you. he always says "i'm not mad at you. i just told you that this would eventually get in the way of us spending time together." well then, who are you mad at if it's not me? i ask that question every single time i mention this fraternity to him, which is rare because i hate how he acts about it. also, i'm not quite sure how he is allowed to coach one football league, play in a second, and referee for a third, as well as take a night class, but yet my one little act of doing something that will further my career cuts into "our time." riiiiight. that's fair. also, he's very untrusting of people he doesn't know, and he seems to expect me to be the same way about it. tonight i'm going to dinner at olive garden with the rest of the fraternity, and he's flipping out because i'm driving one other person there. i can only imagine what's going to happen if the fraternity has to change the date of our mandatory chapter installation to the same day as his cousin's wedding!

 

[FacesbyNiki]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanne Bwahhahaha!!! I tell my bf that I don't have time for him because I want to go on the computer. he says: really? Me: no, I'm meeting my iother boyfriend, but I can't remember which one so stop talking to me, I have to figure out before he comes (he answers back: okay sweety have a great time!!) we practice some bad ass humour

 

[crystrill]

My boyfriend gets mad at me for spending money on makeup, and just about ANYTHING that doesn't have to do with HIM. I constantly have to remind him that it's MY money, and unless he's giving me some he has no say so. It's not like we're married, or even live together.

He also gets mad at me sometimes for dumb crap. Or for ish I can't control. Like an annoying EX from WAAY back calling you out the blue. Like how was I supposed to know it was him? I OBVIOSULY don't have the number in my phone anymore.

 

[crystrill]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vloky My boyfriend stresses way to much over money and bills. He chews me out every night for "not contributing" I give him over 600 a month! That's pretty much all our bills and not just him doing rent me doing electric,gas and cable! *grrr* and whenever I splurge on something like last week viva glam 6 pallette and a new liz claiborne wallet(so badly needed my old one was childish and held together with duct tape! it was only 15 bucks too, 40% off!) he guilted me every night, still is. He spends probably as much as I did every week on mcdonalds. And whenever I say anything about his budgeting he gets pissy, and Im supposed to listen to him chew me out and apologize? wtf ever! And whenever we go and do anything fun always his idea. he then later laments how we are going broke we won't be able to pay bills, we can't afford to do anything! wtf.

MY BOYFRIEND! He constantly gets on me for using my money, but I ALWAYS pay my bills. But I don't question his money and what he WASTE's it on. He never has money. I really see me having a long future with him, but his money management skills SUCK... it kinda makes me think twice sometimes, you know?

 

[lovejam]

Wow. Girls, I've gotta say that it does sound like many of you are with guys who aren't very good for you. HOWEVER, I understand that all I'm reading are the rants, and that I am obviously not getting the full picture. This is, after all, a thread for venting. Hell, my online journal is chock full of negativity, because I like using it to vent. I don't need to vent about the good things that happen, so often I find that I don't mention them much. This tends to give people an imbalanced idea about my life, or the relationships therein. So, in my own wordy way, I'm saying that I won't judge anyone's S/O based on what they write in here.

Anyway... My only real problem with my husband is that he loves to sleep. Often, our daughter won't sleep until very late, and I'm almost always the one to stay up with her. And then, I have to get up early the next day because if I don't, people sneer at me like I'm the laziest woman on the planet. Also, on some nights (like tonight, like right now), he doesn't have to work the next day, so I assume it means we can spend a little time together. Not so, apparently, because he just decided to go to bed early anyway. Oh, he claimed he was just going to lie down for a minute because his back was hurting, but that was nearly an hour ago, and I know I won't be able to wake him up now.

*sigh* Yeah, I guess this is a pretty big issue for me after all. I'm lonely at the moment, and disappointed because the one night he doesn't have to sleep early, he does it anyway. And I'm fairly certain that as soon as I try to go to bed, the baby will start crying and I'll just have to get up again.

Whatever. I've tried to address this issue more than once, and every time I'm made to feel like the bad guy, just because I asked for a little more time with him on nights where he doesn't have to go to bed early. I'm unfair because I ask. It sucks, but like I said, this is a thread for rants, and he's great otherwise. This is the only real issue I've got with him. The only big one, anyway. Even money's not as big an issue for me as this. I guess I'm weird.