Spiritual Stuff sometimes causes Physical Pain

[ebonyannette]

This is more spiritual than "I hate boyz" but I just felt like getting this out

Lately I have had a lot of exes contacting me, not trying to hook up again just to shoot the breeze, which I dont really have a problem with.

Well there is one ex that has contacted me, and lets say that the feelings are still there for him. But I know he is not my husband (we arent meant to be) so I cant be with him. Although I really like him and he really likes me. We cant be together. I guess timing is everything especially when you trying to live "saved".

We both love the Lord and know its really not His will that we be together. But we are still attracted to one another, still argue like a married couple. Its really hard for him to continue to be friends with me knowing he cant "be" with me. But he is really trying.

When you are trying to live "saved" you cant just date a person just to date someone or just because your lonely and you both like eachother.

If you have no intentions on marrying that person, you dont continue to date because you can fall into temptation. To top things off my Pastors specifically told me not to date him. When your in church the man goes to the Pastor, the Pastor prays about it and then lets you know whats up. So not only do WE know its not meant for us to be together, but our Pastors know it too! Its like CONFIRMATION!

So we cant be together, it hurts

. We broke up the first time because he knew he was falling for me but he also knew it wasnt time for us yet. So now, He's back. I gave him hell for leaving me the first time

and he has tried to redeem himself

. If it were up to me I would date him again although I usually dont re-date exes.

*sigh* Just had to get that out, I know this is really spiritual and alot of people might not get it. But if you do get it, help me out

 

[sexypuma]

Just wanted to tell you that i feel for you. A few years ago, my family advised me to let somebody that i really cared for go. At the time, it really hurt to do that ( even though we had some issues, i liked him and i figured that we just had to try a bit harder. Anyway, which couple doesn't have issues?) but now that time has passed, i am glad that we separated. Now i can see clearly why this relationship should not have been. So, it's hard but give yourself the time to mourn your relationship and move on (it doesn't happen overnight, i know). There will come a time when you will happy to have made this decision.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Im super confused... you broke up, because he started to fall for you? and thats not allowed? or he started to fall for you, but had no intentions in marrying you? .. I'm Not familiar with your ways, Im a catholic, and pretty much anything goes.. so I dunno
Why did the pastors advise you to not date him? Is he a bad boy?

 

[Indigowaters]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK Im super confused... you broke up, because he started to fall for you? and thats not allowed? or he started to fall for you, but had no intentions in marrying you? .. I'm Not familiar with your ways, Im a catholic, and pretty much anything goes.. so I dunno Why did the pastors advise you to not date him? Is he a bad boy?

Well, I think what she's saying is that this falls between love and religion. It's like this, you shouldn't be together if you have no intention of marrying that person because you could miss the person God has for you. Not to say that you don't have free will to date who you want, it's just not going to have everyone's blessing especially if everyone knows that you aren't supposed to be together. It sort of falls under the line of having integrity also. Why waste your and that person's time if you both know you have no intention of marrying each other? I've gone through this too, but trust me [Ebonyette], you'll find out why in the end. If you already have confirmation, then let it be and see if you two can remain friends. If not, then you know what to do. HTH!

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

but how is it Known that two people arent supposed to be together? and how do you Know that guy isnt the right one for you? because some pastor told you so?did the guy actually say" I dont want to marry you" or something?

When I started dating my current boyfriend, I wasnt sure if we were going to get married.. we have been together 5 years and still arent married. Is it the cards for us? probably.. but .. maybe not.. I dont know. no one does.

 

[Indigowaters]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK but how is it Known that two people arent supposed to be together? and how do you Know that guy isnt the right one for you? because some pastor told you so?did the guy actually say" I dont want to marry you" or something? When I started dating my current boyfriend, I wasnt sure if we were going to get married.. we have been together 5 years and still arent married. Is it the cards for us? probably.. but .. maybe not.. I dont know. no one does.

It’s difficult to explain. You hear from God on the matter after praying about it. He answers you through what most people call their "conscience". We believe that is the Holy Spirit speaking to us. This is really falling under religion and what you believe.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

I find this very interesting. I sort of understand now. its quite confusing.

 

[ebonyannette]

Right! Thanks Indigowaters!
SexyPuma and MAC Attack I appreciate you all!!!
Its really hard, its hard to understand but you guys are right, its like down the road I will look back on this and see why.
We have put alot of distance between us and I know its for the better.
Hes not a bad boy, hes actually a pretty good guy, he goes to work and church and home and thats it. Hes actually pretty conservative when it comes to how he governs himself.
I think that Our Pastors just know that it isnt right, they can see further down the road than I can and if God said it, no matter how much we want to go forward in our own minds. Its not going to work. Its like having a forwarning like "hey this isnt gonna work so dont even go there". We "could" still decide of our own will to be together but most likely further down the road it will just end in divorce and cause alot more heatache and wasted time. So why not just wait on the one that God has for me so that I know I will be happy forever instead of just temporarily.

We are trying it as friends but its hard being friends when there are still feelings there I know I need to cut him off but he is a sweetheart and I know he doesnt mean any harm.