Stressed to the Max. Part two
- Thread starter rbella
- Start date
purrtykitty
Well-known member
I really think the key to success is not depriving yourself, too. I know you were doing so well with not having your DPs, but I think you can incorporate them into a healthy lifestyle. Like a treat every now and then.
I know the stress of the hurricane has really been weighing on you, but you came through it! Now, you can just finish what you started. I'll be here to help you every step of the way.
MzzRach
Well-known member
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Honestly, I have had similar feelings myself lately - and with all you have gone through lately, please just be kind to yourself. Give yourself some time. It will get better.
I wish I had the answer for both you and me. I'm quite good at putting on the "game face" when I feel like I am nothing inside. It is a constant struggle.
I wish I could give you a big "real" hug instead of just a virtual one.
I am happy to listen at any time. I can relate more than you might realize. PM me anytime.
I wish I had the answer for both you and me. I'm quite good at putting on the "game face" when I feel like I am nothing inside. It is a constant struggle.
I wish I could give you a big "real" hug instead of just a virtual one.
I am happy to listen at any time. I can relate more than you might realize. PM me anytime.
User93
Well-known member
First of all, omg you're back!!!
Honestly, I think this hurricane really was a huge stress for you, so you have all the right to eat. I understand you, I eat when I'm stressed too. This summer was crazy - every day at work I was thinking how I wont eat anything, and after coming home I was running to the fridge with the speed of light. And ate, ate, ate. You are not alone
LOTS of people face this problems my darling.
Also, I think the question is not about being fat or no, but about feeling confident in your own body. Do you feel you really gotta lose that weight? I think thats the hardes part is to start, then it gets easier. BUT you gotta find the right time to lose weight, I really think starting when you are stressed like that is not a good idea, maybe you should get over this hard feelings and then when things get better you can start the diet. Food does make us appy, but maybe you can find happieness in other sources, like shopping or making love to Mr Rbella
I'm sad to read how you are feeling
I just wanna let you know that we all go through this time to time. No matter how much you weight, you are gorgeous, extremely nice & beloved
Its just a tough time hun, but it will get better, you'll see. I can only imagine what you had to go through, but once again, I think you do deserve all that food now. I'm glad you're safe now and you are back
Honestly, I think this hurricane really was a huge stress for you, so you have all the right to eat. I understand you, I eat when I'm stressed too. This summer was crazy - every day at work I was thinking how I wont eat anything, and after coming home I was running to the fridge with the speed of light. And ate, ate, ate. You are not alone
Also, I think the question is not about being fat or no, but about feeling confident in your own body. Do you feel you really gotta lose that weight? I think thats the hardes part is to start, then it gets easier. BUT you gotta find the right time to lose weight, I really think starting when you are stressed like that is not a good idea, maybe you should get over this hard feelings and then when things get better you can start the diet. Food does make us appy, but maybe you can find happieness in other sources, like shopping or making love to Mr Rbella
I'm sad to read how you are feeling
nunu
Well-known member
I am so soorry that you are feeling this way. Let me tell you, it is alright and perfectly normal what you are going through because you have been under a lot of stress lately (hurricane and watching the place get destroyed etc) you are bound to feel this way. Nothing is wrong with you.
Try to relax and do some breathing exercises to help you relax. I find doing this exercise usefull because i can gather my thoughts in a clearer way and please try not to stress, everything will get back to normal.
Glad to see you back, safe and sound!
Try to relax and do some breathing exercises to help you relax. I find doing this exercise usefull because i can gather my thoughts in a clearer way and please try not to stress, everything will get back to normal.
Glad to see you back, safe and sound!
MACATTAK
Well-known member
Weight loss is a really hard thing to do. I agree with PurrtyKitty about making small goals. How about instead of being on a "diet," you just start cutting down your portions? Eat what you want for now, just cut it down. If you'd eat the a whole burrito, eat half and drink a lot of water to fill up. If you'd drink 4 sodas a day, cut back to 2. I know you gave up DP's, but cutting out too much too quick leaves you feeling deprived. Also, if looking at the scale is a problem, cut that back to maybe once a month. I know I always weigh once a week, and am really pissed if it's not a number I want to see!!
We're all here for you! I know it's not easy, I'm always struggling too. Make small changes you can live with, and they will lead to bigger changes.
you Rbella!!
We're all here for you! I know it's not easy, I'm always struggling too. Make small changes you can live with, and they will lead to bigger changes.
concertina
Well-known member
I agree with everything purrtykitty said. You cannot beat yourself up over this. It doesn't help. It just makes you more upset, more emotional, more inclined to emotionally eat!
Does your health insurance cover a visit or two to a nutritionist? Or is speaking to a nutrition-focused counselor something you'd be open to? The way you talk about yourself and your weight...it just breaks my heart and I think you might benefit from some professional perspective.
*big hug*
Does your health insurance cover a visit or two to a nutritionist? Or is speaking to a nutrition-focused counselor something you'd be open to? The way you talk about yourself and your weight...it just breaks my heart and I think you might benefit from some professional perspective.
*big hug*
effboysinthebut
Well-known member
One thing I think you need to understand is that you're not alone. I don't know a single girl, skinny or heavier that doesn't want to lose weight. It's really sad how much we beat our selves up and part of that has to do with super skinny celebs being called fat. It kind of makes you lose all hope.
Now, I know I was talking about obesity in america, but trust me I have a hard time with weight too. Food can be very comforting when you're stressed or upset. In the past month I've gained 10 lbs from being stressed and running to food.
Stop beating yourself up. You're human. Just try to take it day by day. And if you can cut out sugar for the most part that in it self will make a big difference
Now, I know I was talking about obesity in america, but trust me I have a hard time with weight too. Food can be very comforting when you're stressed or upset. In the past month I've gained 10 lbs from being stressed and running to food.
Stop beating yourself up. You're human. Just try to take it day by day. And if you can cut out sugar for the most part that in it self will make a big difference
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
It sounds like you're depressed. I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
As far as losing weight goes, we all have personal setbacks in our goals. You should not beat yourself up about it. Figure out where you went wrong and why. Are your goals unreasonable? If they are not, figure out how to make them happen.
For instance, my goal this quarter is get straight As. I'm dedicated to working my ass off (no pun intended) to do it. I'm not going to get too upset with myself, though, if I have setbacks from it. It's just an ugly downward spiral otherwise.
Good luck!
As far as losing weight goes, we all have personal setbacks in our goals. You should not beat yourself up about it. Figure out where you went wrong and why. Are your goals unreasonable? If they are not, figure out how to make them happen.
For instance, my goal this quarter is get straight As. I'm dedicated to working my ass off (no pun intended) to do it. I'm not going to get too upset with myself, though, if I have setbacks from it. It's just an ugly downward spiral otherwise.
Good luck!
Shadowy Lady
Well-known member
Rbella, first of all, I'm glad that you are safe and happy to have you back
Second, everybody else said it before me, you have been through a lot lately with the whole hurricane business (and thank Goodness that's over), just take it one day at the time I say. Don't worry about the 5 lb until you're at a point when you're ready for the weigh loss. Stressing over it will probably make it worse.
Hope you feel much better soon
Hope you feel much better soon
User93
Well-known member
Can you take a vacation? Not even travelling, just staying at home maybe, sleeping. Though change of place and travelling would help definitely. I undestand that after the huricane no one there has money for this fancy stuff, maybe you and Mr Rbella could just go to the countryside, or somewhere, go to the fair, take walks, go to the movies, drink out! I think you really need the "boost" not only for confidence, but just for being happy! You're my hunniebunz
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Sometimes depression just happens. I think there's nothing wrong with visiting a therapist, just like a check up you'd have from a medical doctor.
As for you losing weight, I hear having a gym buddy is a good for motivation. Most people feel bad about skipping on that person. Also, perhaps a class? I find exercising much easier if you have something to go to; I always think the teacher might be worried if I'm gone.
If you're not a fan of traditional exercise, explore your options. Having something you enjoy will also get you to exercise.
As for you losing weight, I hear having a gym buddy is a good for motivation. Most people feel bad about skipping on that person. Also, perhaps a class? I find exercising much easier if you have something to go to; I always think the teacher might be worried if I'm gone.
If you're not a fan of traditional exercise, explore your options. Having something you enjoy will also get you to exercise.
MzzRach
Well-known member
Rbella - I wish we lived in the same city. We could kick each other in the bum and hit the trail together and exercise our asses off!
Making it a habit is key. It can be done. I've done it before, fallen out of it and am determined to get there again. We can f*cking do this, woman.
xo
Making it a habit is key. It can be done. I've done it before, fallen out of it and am determined to get there again. We can f*cking do this, woman.
xo
NutMeg
Well-known member
Quote:
A lot of people have the assumption that depression is being sad. Its not. You shouldn't feel like there's something wrong with you for being depressed without an obvious "reason". Its an illness, it just happens. You don't get a broken leg and go, "Man, I don't understand why, I have such a great life!" Don't feel pathetic for having an illness. Its not your fault, its not that you don't appreciate your life or your husband, your job, etc. Don't blame yourself for not being able to fix it on your own, back to my comparison with a broken leg... No one would get on your case for seeing an expert in that case. And you are at no fault for not being able to deal with this on your own either. I'm sending you lots of hugs, and please look into a good therapist and maybe bring up medication with a professional.
Originally Posted by rbella
I think I am depressed. But, I think perhaps I've been depressed for a long time. I don't quite know why? My husband is amazing, my job is great, we make a good living, my family is amazing, there is genuinely nothing to complain about. I am beginning to wonder if my lack of conflict in my life is depressing me. If so, that is pretty pathetic. |
A lot of people have the assumption that depression is being sad. Its not. You shouldn't feel like there's something wrong with you for being depressed without an obvious "reason". Its an illness, it just happens. You don't get a broken leg and go, "Man, I don't understand why, I have such a great life!" Don't feel pathetic for having an illness. Its not your fault, its not that you don't appreciate your life or your husband, your job, etc. Don't blame yourself for not being able to fix it on your own, back to my comparison with a broken leg... No one would get on your case for seeing an expert in that case. And you are at no fault for not being able to deal with this on your own either. I'm sending you lots of hugs, and please look into a good therapist and maybe bring up medication with a professional.
effboysinthebut
Well-known member
Quote:
Like someone else said, depression isn't exactly just being sad. First, it's a chemical inbalance in the brain. You have no control over that no matter how wonderful your life is. I have a good husband and I'm close with my family and have a good job, but I have it. I've taken medication for it since I was 15. I find that it doesn't really make me sad, it just makes me more irritable, teary,paranoid and hot headed. It also runs in families. For the longest time growing up I thought my mom was Bi-polar. She was really happy, really sad. It took years for her to agree to see a doctor, and she found out that she also had depression. And from what I can tell you're having a rough patch and that's enough to cause depression.
You can also use food to deal with depression (I can't remember if you said you use it for stress). If you think you may be I would try to make an appointment with a doctor. If you are depressed it may take a couple tries to get meds right but it definately balances the mood well. If you feel like talking about it privately you can always message me.
| Originally Posted by rbella
I think I am depressed. But, I think perhaps I've been depressed for a long time. I don't quite know why? My husband is amazing, my job is great, we make a good living, my family is amazing, there is genuinely nothing to complain about. |
Like someone else said, depression isn't exactly just being sad. First, it's a chemical inbalance in the brain. You have no control over that no matter how wonderful your life is. I have a good husband and I'm close with my family and have a good job, but I have it. I've taken medication for it since I was 15. I find that it doesn't really make me sad, it just makes me more irritable, teary,paranoid and hot headed. It also runs in families. For the longest time growing up I thought my mom was Bi-polar. She was really happy, really sad. It took years for her to agree to see a doctor, and she found out that she also had depression. And from what I can tell you're having a rough patch and that's enough to cause depression.
You can also use food to deal with depression (I can't remember if you said you use it for stress). If you think you may be I would try to make an appointment with a doctor. If you are depressed it may take a couple tries to get meds right but it definately balances the mood well. If you feel like talking about it privately you can always message me.
NutMeg
Well-known member
You've got to stick with it sweetie. Neither medication or therapy are going to be a quick fix. You have to keep searching until you find someone that you're comfortable with, and keep playing with the dose/type of meds until you get it right.
And again, depression doesn't necessarily have anything to do with events in your life. Sometimes it does, but often its a chemical imbalance in your brain (which honestly sounds like whats happening to you, IMHO) and you can't just "snap out of it". You can't will yourself better. You need to stop beating yourself up for this. Its not your fault, you aren't making it happen by not being strong enough or good enough or positive enough. Please re-read this, because I don't think you're getting it. You are not making this happen. You aren't being selfish or weak or pathetic. Your body is letting you down, and you aren't to blame for that.
And again, depression doesn't necessarily have anything to do with events in your life. Sometimes it does, but often its a chemical imbalance in your brain (which honestly sounds like whats happening to you, IMHO) and you can't just "snap out of it". You can't will yourself better. You need to stop beating yourself up for this. Its not your fault, you aren't making it happen by not being strong enough or good enough or positive enough. Please re-read this, because I don't think you're getting it. You are not making this happen. You aren't being selfish or weak or pathetic. Your body is letting you down, and you aren't to blame for that.
