Stupid Men!

[clslvr6spd]

UGH! I don't know if this would be the right area for this post...but here it goes!

I know I am an attractive young woman, but I do have self esteem issues in the weight department. I am 5'9" and weigh 145lbs at the moment, I have gained 10lbs in the past couple months...anyways...

I work in @ a tackle supply store and 98% of the customers are men and a lof of them are regulars. Anyways....last week one of the customers asked if I gained weight? I looked at him and just laughed it off...but earlier today I was getting something to drink and walked back to my register. On the way to my register another regular was standing at the counter and said "you're getting chubby aren't you?"

I looked at him for a second and then sat down, I just couldn't blow this comment off! My eyes were shrink wrapped in tears while eating my lunch! When I was done eating i went into the bathroom and balled!!!

I just don't understand the stupidy and the rudeness of fucking men sometimes!

 

[MACATTAK]

That's pretty rude. I hate when people point out the obvious...like you don't what you look like. I guess they don't have much tact! You could always come back with a snappy remake, "Gee you sure are losing more hair since the last time I saw you." The thing with a lot of men is they are so critical of women when they actually look pretty busted themselves. Don't let it get you down

 

[purrtykitty]

yeah, men are stupid...and many don't have that filter in their brain that tells them, "DANGER...stupid thought about to be verbalized...do not proceed forward."

honey, i'm your height and weight quite a bit more. i would kill to weigh what you do. try not to take it so personally, i know it's difficult...i have similar self-esteem issues, too. just use this as a little ammo to whip yourself back in shape and make 'em eat their words.

 

[clslvr6spd]

Thank you girls! I know I should have snapped something back at him, but I was just shocked...what bothers me the most is that I let it get to me!

I can't wait to start cosmetology school and get the hell out of my job!

 

[CaraAmericana]

Babygirl, I just seen your FOTD and you are so fukking gorgeous you hurt my eyes. They are only saying those mean things because they can't have you and they know it!! So to degrade you makes them feel better about them never having a fat chance with you. So it's their low self-esteem, don't let it bring yours down.

I am not skinny but so long as I am not, I am going to be the FINEST chica you ever seen in my size!!! Get I get an Amen?!! lol

 

[clslvr6spd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaraAmericana Babygirl, I just seen your FOTD and you are so fukking gorgeous you hurt my eyes. They are only saying those mean things because they can't have you and they know it!! So to degrade you makes them feel better about them never having a fat chance with you. So it's their low self-esteem, don't let it bring yours down. I am not skinny but so long as I am not, I am going to be the FINEST chica you ever seen in my size!!! Get I get an Amen?!! lol

Thanks! your sooo pretty too!!!! That is so true about the guys in here....They only wish!!!! lol thanks everyone again!!!

 

[MACATTAK]

CaraAmericana said it right! You are GORGEOUS!!

 

[frocher]

......

 

[SparklingWaves]

First off, I would be hurt if someone said that to me. I never know what I will do. I just can't even predict.

Second, I have seen my hubby's friends say the ugliest things to each other. They even have hateful nicknames. I can't put the nicknames on -line. They will say, "Hey, you are getting a serious beer gut. You have been slamming too many beers on the weekends." They just fire right back at each other like, "Yeah well, I don't have ugly nose hairs that are hanging to my to a bony chest like you". They laugh at each other hysterically. I think it's some type of male bonding thing. I am not saying all guys do this either, but I think many do.

Third, since these guys see you a lot, they may actually feel like they can talk to you as one of the guys. Not that what they said was right. It wasn't. You can tell them that offended you or please keep your personal opinions to yourself. Thank you. I am just here to do my J - O - B and that's it.

Finally, they may even have a crush on you. I know that sounds odd. When I was in college, this guy was on my case every day. I was always arguing right back at him. I thought he hated me, because he said the worst things to me - like he thought I was 8 yrs older than I was, etc. On graduation day, he told me that he was going to miss me and that he knew that he could never get a woman like me. Weird isn't it?


They are really looking at you to even notice such a slight difference, so that means they find you very attractive.

 

[alien21xx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves First off, I would be hurt if someone said that to me. I never know what I will do. I just can't even predict. Second, I have seen my hubby's friends say the ugliest things to each other. They even have hateful nicknames. I can't put the nicknames on -line. They will say, "Hey, you are getting a serious beer gut. You have been slamming too many beers on the weekends." They just fire right back at each other like, "Yeah well, I don't have ugly nose hairs that are hanging to my to a bony chest like you". They laugh at each other hysterically. I think it's some type of male bonding thing. I am not saying all guys do this either, but I think many do.

I totally agree with SparklingWaves. Men don't understand that unsolicited comments about a woman's appearance can be really hurtful. I guess they are just not built that way? I dunno.

One of the best ways to deal with this I guess is to try to be as flippant and casual about these things. Like yesterday, I had one guy at work remark that my hair looks like a rat's tail (to be fair, I really overly fried my hair these past few years with too much dye jobs, rebonds, perms, etc.) I told him that he's just jealous that I evne have ratty hair because he doesn't have any. Both of us had a good laugh about it and went back to our work feeling amused rather than slighted by each other's comments.

 

[j_absinthe]

Oh wow, you're very pretty (just saw your FOTD, you with pink lips and loose hair is *le sex*)

It's understandable, your reaction, because those kind of comments are expected on that kind of basis unless you work in, say, a prison. Hopefully now your skin's a bit thicker and next time something like this happens, you can look whoever it is dead in the eye and say "Hey, thanks for the comment, you want a goddamn cookie?" or something to that extent.

 

[user79]

People in my extended family have made similar comments to me since gaining weight in the past year. It really hurts a lot, but I was more mad at myself for not replying something back. I agree, the shock thing makes you numb and you can't respond. Just ignore those idiots, you are beautiful! And next time if anyone says something, just have a snappy comment ready to shoot back at them.

 

[Girl about town]

oh my god i saw your FOTD and you are seriously gorgeous! im not just saying that i really covet your hair and you look soooo slim xxx

 

[SparklingWaves]

Ok, I just saw your picture and it confirms what I thought. These guys have been eyeing you up. They are very attracted to you. Girl, they are liking the new curves.

I had one tell me at a job that my back pockets were filling out. Then, I heard he wanted to hire me for his personal helper for a few hours a day. YIKES!! He would just come over to my job and stare. He gave me the creeps.

You are driving these men nuts. They can't wait to see you at the store.

 

[Willa]

When I saw your pictures, I immediatly thought that probably they told you that because they found you more attractive.

It's only a theory, and you have to remember that sometimes, men don't know how to express themselves. They say things and we understand the total opposite.

Ok maybe the second one was rude... but the first one could be a weird compliment

 

[Evey]

I just saw your FOTD's....CHUNKY?!!!! FROM WHERE?! Some men are stupid honey...don't pay attention to them. You're beautiful.

 

[Kuuipo]

Some men can be so stupid.....its like they are just life support systems for a penis at times.......

 

[lvgz]

some people need to learn that if you dont have something NICE to say, dont say it at all. im sorry you had to hear that

 

[PMBG83]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous People in my extended family have made similar comments to me since gaining weight in the past year. It really hurts a lot, but I was more mad at myself for not replying something back. I agree, the shock thing makes you numb and you can't respond. Just ignore those idiots, you are beautiful! And next time if anyone says something, just have a snappy comment ready to shoot back at them.

Defininte age-old tale.....with me anyway. But then I can see ppl from highschool and my weight never gets mentioned. Go figure. Wonder why ppl care so much about weight anyway.

 

[jenii]

CHUBBY?!??! Are they nuts?! 5'9" and 145lbs??? I'm only 5'3" and I WISH I weighed that!