Throwback Relationships

[Lauren1981]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForgetRegret Oh my...these are all really amusing...I wish mine was half as funny...but here goes...and I'll try to make a long story short; Was dating a waaaaaay clingy guy....ugh...told him about it...he got even MORE clingy. I got angry. One night we were messing around, and I was...well...being VERY nice to him, if you get what I'm saying...and the little f*^#$HUIEFHOW#IRU(*@Y$(*@U(#&*$Y(*U@$()_@()% fell asleep. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I gave his family jewels a firm tug to wake his @ss up, and walked out...told him we were done. ...after not talking to him for almost a month...I was out with my girl one night, and we stopped at a diner to grab some food...he called my phone about 10 times...finally I answered, and he was CRYING because I broke up with him...he was very drunk...and was crying, and telling me he had just "vomited". WTF? I didn't need to know that!! I hung up on him and turned my phone off. I had 6 more messages the next day. Grr.

what do you mean not half as funny? this is hilarious!
my bff/lover/"husband" did that last summer. i was servicing him and he sounded like he was getting into it so i was REALLY feeling good about myself... all of a sudden i hear the tv go on. this mofo was flipping channels while i was "being nice" to him!!!!

 

[kimmy]

when i found out my ex was cheating, he bought me a diamond ring. i broke up with him a couple months later and decided that pawning the ring would be the best idea since i was super strapped for cash being a broke-ass eighteen year old. the money i got from pawning it only paid half of my cell phone bill.

i don't know why i expected anything better from a twenty-two year old unemployed dirtbag who lived in his parent's laundry room (florabundance, my first was a total loser, too...obviously,) but hey, i was young and dumb.

 

[Hilly]

There was this guy I was dating right before my frehsman year of college. We were going to different schools, but still in the same state. He promosed to stay together and blah blah blah.

This was before cell phones were popular so I had to use a calling card or an account used for my dorm room to make calls. My dumbass would call him using my account never thinking that I would get a bill for these calls. I would come home from frat parties, drunk and calling him (wow the birth of my notorious drunk dialing). He would never, ever call me. He would rarely IM me on AIM even. Well, I paid like $50 in gas to go and see him at his school. I brought him gifts and crap and thought this was going to solidify things and make him a better BF and make an effort. This was about 3 weeks into school. I get to his school and he's hangin out with a "friend." Bitch was wearing a neon green thong and felt the need to show all of us. The BF was like, "this is my friend Cara...she also has a long distance BF so we're here for each other". Hmmmkayyy...

Well I broke up with him a week later over the phone but always had a suspicion about this girl. So lil ole crazy me made a fake AIM screen name- Triangleb00bs (because HE had bitch tits). And basically pretended to hit on this girl to see if she had a bf and suprise suprise she did...my bf. Triangleb00bs got nosy and asked when they began dating and oh- they began while he and i were still together.

Nice.

Well jokes on them.
1. He had BOOBS!!!
2. He gained like freshman 50 (hey i gained freshman 15 but he just kept adding and adding)
3. He couldnt GET IT UP!!!!!!
4. He gave me a dirty hemp necklace as a goodbye gift for when we went away to college. It smelled like BO. Nasty pig!

Yes this was 2001- I am happily married but I still laugh at my stalkerish ways.
Oh yea and for that magic, mysterious phone card...I got a bill in the mail for $75 for phone calls. Momma wouldnt pay so I had to get a job working in food services at my college!!! EWWW!!!

 

[Lapis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren1981 what do you mean not half as funny? this is hilarious! my bff/lover/"husband" did that last summer. i was servicing him and he sounded like he was getting into it so i was REALLY feeling good about myself... all of a sudden i hear the tv go on. this mofo was flipping channels while i was "being nice" to him!!!!

he's not dead? ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh hell

 

[Lauren1981]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lapis he's not dead? ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh hell

i know right??!! and when i stopped and was looking at him like "wtf??" he had the nerve to ask "why did you stop???"

ummmmmmmmm..... HUH??!!

 

[ForgetRegret]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren1981 i know right??!! and when i stopped and was looking at him like "wtf??" he had the nerve to ask "why did you stop???" ummmmmmmmm..... HUH??!!

Seriously? I woulda choked the crap out of him.

...and then told him I'd leave the room so he could have some alone time with the television...maybe the TV will finish sucking him off, cuz I'm sure as hell not.

LOL but that's just me...

 

[Lauren1981]

"maybe the tv will finish sucking him off"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

 

[kiss]

When I was in grade 8, I did a school course online . There was some guy on the program who started chatting with me and sent me his photo and wanted to buy plane tickets to fly over to meet me (yes he was in grade 8 as well).

I emailed him back saying he wasn't my type. He emailed back and said that he gained 20 pounds in the photo because it was thanksgiving day. He said that now he is very skinny and athletic but he couldn't take a pic because his camera broke down. I stopped replying to him, and he looked up my name in the phone book and actually called me! I pretended I didn't know who he was. The END.

 

[sunshine16]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsMay I was going out with a guy in high school for 3 months, and found out that he had been cheating on me with at least 3 other girls the whole time. I dumped his ass promptly after that and the week after (April fools day) I called him from school and told him I was pregnant. Strung him along for about 15 mins before I said "Happy April Fools Day Asshole" and hung up.

MrsMay, thats's amazing

Funniest story for sure