virgin and confused

[chaut_01]

agree with everyone who has said there's nothing wrong with waiting. if i could turn back time. i would have saved it till i was married even!! so dont rush it'll all be worth it when you find the right person.

 

[lalunia]

It is not weird at all! In fact, I think it is a great thing that you are waiting for someone special. I was just a few weeks shy of my 19th bday when I lost it to my current bf (we've been together for almost 2 years and I adore him!)and I'm glad I didnt give in to the pressure earlier, especially in high school. The best thing is that my guy is really happy wi th the fact that I was a virgin lol and he def. respected me more for it.

 

[xo_Jen]

you do it when YOU feel ready. Its not a bad thing at all.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Although you say that all your friends have had sex, there's a good chance that may not be true. I know among my friends some of them are a little sketchy on that. One girl has admitted to me in private that she is a virgin, even though she talks about sex like there's no tomorrow; her behaviors somehow fool most people, even though her info is from Cosmo.

 

[user11]

...........

 

[sweetbabyblue]

I'm 19(turning 20 soon) and I plan on staying a virgin for awhile

I have been with my bf for 2 years but I know that I dont feel ready and I dont want to regret it later and he's really good about it, he doesn't push me at all. I dont think there's anything wrong with being a virgin at 20 and it's not worth it to do it with someone just because you feel like you should.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Don't phrase it as sleeping with him. A lot of times people use it as a euphemism to mean sex.

Before I began dating my now fiance, he actually stayed over at my apartment. He slept on my futon, while I slept on my bed. Are you inviting him over because you're afraid to be home alone? Or do you want to cuddle with someone? If it's the former, I think it's best that you do sleep in separate places. If it's the latter, it might be awkward if he literally sleeps in your bed. Hands can wander in your sleep

 

[Growing Wings]

Quote:

Originally Posted by azahara193 Hellooo!! Thanks everyone, you really make me feel better. There's some news...I asked a friend of mine if he would like to come to my house so that I'm not alone at night (not to have sex, he knows I'm virgin and he respects me, at least at the moment) but I don't know if he will come cuz he doesn't have a car and, well, some problems. I know that inviting a friend with whom you have had something sounds a little bad, as if I would like to have sex with him, but it's not like that and I wish he doesn't take it like that...do u think I have done something bad or not?? I just wanna sleep with him and be with someone (in fact if he's not coming I will invite my best friend...)do u think that maybe he expects something more than just sleeping??

This is a hard one to answer when we don't know your friend. I know that I can stay in a bed with most of my mates without them getting the wrong idea. If you're in any doubt, say something to him. It's better to do that than something happen when you're don't want it to (it's easy to get caught up in the moment sometimes and do something you'll later regret). Or maybe just cancel on him, and have your best mate over, just to make sure. If you are gonna stay in the same bed as him, as Beauty Mark has said, hands can wander in your sleep. Whether or not you're both comfortable with that, without it moving to something else is up to you guys. After sharing a tent with one of my mates I discovered he's a sleep groper

Luckily we're close enough to just think it's funny, rather than thinking into it at all.

 

[MACosine]

I'm 20 and I've NEVER been in a relationship before. Talk about being old... LOL! I've never fallen for any of the guys who hit on me and I have an odd penchant for falling for guys who will never fall for me. Its worth waiting for... It definitely has to be...

 

[user11]

..............

 

[Beauty Mark]

He kind of sounds like a jerk. You should date like-minded people on that front.

 

[Mabelle]

i was 19, my bf was 23.

We were both waiting for someone we cared enough about. Good thing too cause the first time was sooooo embarrassing. im telling you, my hymen should have been used for nation security.

 

[smexiebinks]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkee-Belle Donnnnnnt do it! In high school I was the only virgin outta my friends and they used to harsh make fun of me all the time. I felt pressured and I lost it to a guy that I didnt love and cheated on me with my best friends at the time. I felt soooo shitty about myself and didnt do anything with any other guy until 2 years later when I was 19. Then I slept with a guy I really cared about and we were together for 2 1/2 years and are thinking about getting back together. I wish I woulda lost it to him! Yeah and all those friends who made fun of me in high school... they are all at 20 guys where as Im at 2 I find having a smaller number way more desirable and most guys would agree with me! I think being a virgin at 20 is a great feat! its tough in a sex filled world and I think you should be proud of yourself! Not ashamed

Jeeeez , you're gorgeous--whoever that guy was that cheated on you is an idiot because he didn't see the beautiful pearl he had in front of him.
Great advice

 

[PolyphonicLove]

PLEASE wait. I lost my virginity earlier this year - I was 17, and my beau was 19, we're both a year older now - and it was so worth it. I've had MANY opportunities to have sex, and all of my exes have pressured me to do so. I was so glad to have given my virginity to someone that truly loved and respected me. Like I said, giving your virginity to someone you love...its a beautiful experience!

 

[dorkeelovex]

Sex is something you need to be sure of. As cliche as it sounds, you only get one chance and once it's gone, it's gone forever and the last thing you want is to live with regret.

I know people people on both sides of the spectrum: some of them are still virgins (I am going on 21 so my friends are around the same age) and I have known people who were a bit more free, or have just had more sexual experiences. And after just hanging around these people, I know who is truly happy and who isn't. Sure, some of them did it for love, but those relationships are over and they look back and can't help but wish they could share that special moment with their true loves.

You are still young, enjoy it

There are so many different pressures tat go on in a young woman's life and worry about sex and your virginity shouldn't need to be added to those stresses. Regardless of if you are a virgin or not,you are beautiful, and your friends and family will love you. Simply having sex with someone isn't going to grant you love.

As for being alone at home, I understand what you are saying. I think that having that lonely feeling building in the pit of your stomach can be most upsetting. But try not to let it get to you. It may take time but life has a way of pulling itself together even when you feel like giving up.

 

[.k.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle i was 19, my bf was 23. We were both waiting for someone we cared enough about. Good thing too cause the first time was sooooo embarrassing. im telling you, my hymen should have been used for nation security.

 

[xbuttonsx]

I started dating my boyfriend (now fiance) when we were 15 (I'm 22 now) and we didn't have sex until we were 20. Many people though it was great that we were waiting for the right time, many though it was dumb. But you know what I think? Fuck everyone else. Don't let others opinions and views on you get in the way of living life the way you want to. Just because you don't want to give your body away like everyone thinks you should doesn't mean you should. Girl, do what's right for you. It's no one else's business. Be proud.

 

[Growing Wings]

Quote:

Originally Posted by azahara193 I'm so disappointed now... I told (again) to my friend if he is gonna come to my house this weekend. And he started to tell me excuses and, each time he gave me an excuse I gave him a solution, but he kept telling he couldn't come. So I finally told him that he could come, but he didn't want to. And do u know what he answered me?? He told me that he didn't want to come just to kiss or sleep (literally) and that we are not 15... As you can imagine I got angry and he started saying that he didn't mean to disappointed me... I get the feeling more and more often that men are not worth (I don't know if I have said it right... ) Well, thank u everyone. xoxo

This guy totally isn't worth your time if he's gonna be like that. At least you know where you stand with him now, rather than when he gets to yours and expects something more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle i was 19, my bf was 23. We were both waiting for someone we cared enough about. Good thing too cause the first time was sooooo embarrassing. im telling you, my hymen should have been used for nation security.

 

[Kai322]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sario I was 20, so it's not weird or bad or anything like that, it's just you! When you're ready and you're with the right person for you there won't be any question at all, definitely don't rush it along. It's only weird if you make it weird, I promise it's not a big deal at all and it just shows your maturity to wait for when you're comfortable. Also I didn't ever think about it like I was "losing" my virginity, I thought about it like I was giving my partner the gift of it, in a show of trust.

.......

 

[sylviar94]

never feel pressured.....do it when you feel ready.... being hard to get sexually is what drives men crazy BUT above all shows that you have a lot of respect for yourself.