w-t-f is with some guys?

[Dark_Phoenix]

I've been walking around a convention center (an anime con) dressed like a werewolf slaying vampire for the past two days. Complete with PVC catsuit, trench, corset, boots and fangs (Selene from "Underworld"... I love bad action movies).

Okay... being "dressed to kill" does not mean you can:
Use innuendo
Ask me out
Ask me back to your hotel room
And the WORST thing... grope me.

NO NO NO NO!!

I can deal with the cheesey lines of "If you bite me, will I turn into a vampire" or "I'm not scared of you". That's cool. I can even stand the fairly platonic flirting.

But because I'm dressed kinda slutty does not mean I want to be asked out or have you put your arm around me. I had to report one guy to security because he "hugged" me so hard (I think he was trying to cop a feel, jerk... had his friend take a photo) I have bruises on my upper arms (bleeding disorder or not, it's still wrong).

wtf is with some guys?

 

[Willa]

Its totaly an opinion from my mind, something that just came out but I think some guys act like this because at one point they see an opening and dont know how and when to stop.

Its like : myself in front of a free all day candy shop...
I just dont know how to stop

They see some booty, they want more
Its also worst when they are with their friends, its like they wanna compete.

 

[Urbana]

psss, i dont know! maybe they think you dress like that to get boys, which is really stupid! but mens mind i think works like that
sometimes im a bit rude, but hey! its not me, its their stupidity!!!

 

[Beauty Mark]

Some people (male and female) think that dressing in a certain way is a green light to do whatever they like with you.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Some people (male and female) think that dressing in a certain way is a green light to do whatever they like with you.

That just goes back to the male idea, that women who dont want to be given attention by males, will cover themselves up, and or dress conservativly. As a result, if your dressed in a provacative way, it must mean you want that type of attention, so it's OK for them to do it.

We've come a long way, but were still a patriarchal society, in the states. Maybe not to the extremes of others, but it still defines a lot of our culture. Just like how girls who get raped, get blamed for asking for it because of how they were dressed. And plenty of other escuses for male behavior that make up the foundation of our social behavior.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I never said it was right, just how it is

 

[Katura]

.

 

[kaliraksha]

Now I'm all for dressing the way you want- especially in costume like in your situation. I mean I dress up for myself and admittedly, sometimes the significant other. But, your situation and the comments did remind me of Dave Chappelle sketch... I should also mention it has some vulgar language- so please don't read if you are offended by such or him.

The girl says, 'Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!' Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that that is fucking confusing! It just is.

Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, 'Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!' '

And I'd say OHH!! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!' All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform.

 

[Raerae]

I think it was more of her personal space being violated, than because of anyone giving her cheesy pickup lines.

Being dressed a certain way doesn't entitle other people to touch your body w/out your permission.

As Fergi would say,

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.


Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha Now I'm all for dressing the way you want- especially in costume like in your situation. I mean I dress up for myself and admittedly, sometimes the significant other. But, your situation and the comments did remind me of Dave Chappelle sketch... I should also mention it has some vulgar language- so please don't read if you are offended by such or him. The girl says, 'Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!' Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that that is fucking confusing! It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, 'Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!' ' And I'd say OHH!! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!' All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform.

 

[Hilly]

Guys are just horny....its in their DNA!

 

[BunnyBunnyBunny]

Lol... "whore's uniform".

Anyway, this is sort of off topic, but I want to see a picture of your outfit! It sounds really amazing. I loved Selene's outfit in Underworld.

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunnyBunnyBunny Lol... "whore's uniform". Anyway, this is sort of off topic, but I want to see a picture of your outfit! It sounds really amazing. I loved Selene's outfit in Underworld.

Um... no way in hell am I posting pics ^.^;
I'm really uncomfortable with posting pics of myself in pvc on the internet. Sorry.

 

[kaliraksha]

Oh no I totally agree- no one should ever be allowed to touch you against your will, however, society unfortunately has many flaws.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdirenzo Guys are just horny....its in their DNA!

Oh right, I forgot.... Being horny makes it alright...

Man: But officer! It wasn't rape! I was just horny!

Officer: I'm sorry Ms., I'm going to have to issue you a ticket for making him act this way. It is afterall in his DNA, and when you dress like that, he can't control himself! You should know better! Shame on you!

I mean c'mon...

You'd think by 2007, guys would be in control of their cocks ;p

 

[Beauty Mark]

The guys are horny naturally is such a dangerous excuse and can be used for all sorts of horrible things.

 

[kaliraksha]

I prefer to think of it as men are visual creatures by nature. This is how their DNA is programmed to procreate. I am also very likely to agree that skimpy and tight clothes were created to show off your assets. If I asked all of my skimpier dressing friends why they did it I’m sure all of them would say “because I want to” if I further questioned why they wanted to I would probably hear “because it makes me feel sexy” – now I wonder what precisely makes them feel sexy? What affirms their choice to dress that way?

Human decency is a big thing to question - clothing choice is not as extreme- but it's like telling the guy with real diamonds in the rims of his car that he should expect the decency of someone to not steal them. It reaches a different level because this is invading someone's personal space and comfort- but both, in a flawless society, should not happen. Unfortunately, everyone is not raised by Perfect Parent 1 and Perfect Parent 2 and some things as much as we dislike it we have to do for protection. Like sure I would love to accept a free drink from a guy at a bar but for my sanity I buy and handle my own drinks at all times.

My comments were really just facetious and not directed towards anyone in this post but just the topic in general. They were also more in regards to the hoots, hollers and stares we all get- definitely not the groping. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that when I plan my Halloween costume yearly I definitely do think about what will make me look sexy. For me, I end up being affirmed that I made a good choice if I get a few looks, or whistles or come-ons. Not to say that I particularly want them as I am in a committed relationship and happy, but, by nature being attractive or appearing attractive is what attracts a mate. We don’t all wear signs that say “taken” or “not interested”. It’s like standing in the rain and asking why you are getting wet.

As for Emma, I’m glad you did report the dude that touched you against your will to security. Just because they do not respect women doesn’t mean we should bend to their will.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha For me, I end up being affirmed that I made a good choice if I get a few looks, or whistles or come-ons. Not to say that I particularly want them as I am in a committed relationship and happy, but, by nature being attractive or appearing attractive is what attracts a mate.

I was talking about something similar a few days ago with a friend of mine as we were going to lunch. We were talking about guys again (lol always!) and how she hates clubs/bars because of how guys act after a drink or two. And I had mentioned about how it's not uncommon for my ass to get touched by random guys as I walk past, or they walk past. I didn't ask them to cop a feel thats for sure! And she was like, "thats why I hate those places!"

So I asked her this question~

Would you rather be the girl who gets her ass grabed by random guys, or the girl who never gets her ass grabed.

I think thats a really hard question. Because on one hand, yeh I don't appreciate being touched w/out my permission. But on the other, deep down inside, I kinda like it. Because even though it pisses me off when they do that, the little devil on my shoulder is saying, "Hey, at least they WANT to grab your ass!"

Which is kinda true...

It would kinda suck to be the girl who never got any attention from the opposite sex... Yah your personal space would never get violated. But on the other hand, that violation of personal space (or the whistles/catcalls/hollars) is an affirmation that your hot, and the guys want you...

It's fucked up logic... I know...

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma_Frost Um... no way in hell am I posting pics ^.^; I'm really uncomfortable with posting pics of myself in pvc on the internet. Sorry.

do you allow people to take pictures of you while you are at the conventions?

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

It would kinda suck to be the girl who never got any attention from the opposite sex... Yah your personal space would never get violated. But on the other hand, that violation of personal space (or the whistles/catcalls/hollars) is an affirmation that your hot, and the guys want you... It's fucked up logic... I know...

I used to think like that, when I got no attention. Now I want the attention to go away. I like walking down the street in shorts (they're not even booty shorts) and a t-shirt without being harassed. I like taking the train at night without having someone leer and make suggestive comments towards me.

People can find me beautiful, hot, attractive... They just don't need to be creepy about it.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark People can find me beautiful, hot, attractive... They just don't need to be creepy about it.

I agree. But like I said, it's fucked up logic =p

Not like I'd ever be interested in someone who was brash enough to grab my ass. Or who whistles at me or says lewd comments as I walk by. Thats a huge turnoff. But at the same time, if it stopped happening, I'd probably wonder if something was wrong with me.

Not to mention, having a guy walk up to you and be like, "You are so beautiful, I just thought you should know," as like an opening line while your waiting for a cross walk to turn WALK (happened to me in LA last year). Can be more ackward than if he had just made a comment when I walked away. It's easy to ignore the other things, guys don't expect you to turn around and start chatting them up. But when guys approach you like that, it's nearly impossible to ignore them.