Whats Lost in Prenatal Care

[Raerae]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...011201954.html

I'm torn on this article...

On one hand, I dont presume to speak for parents of disabled children.

On the other, being the daughter of a Special Education Teacher, and having seen firsthand how difficult raising a child with learning disabilities is, I dont think I would want my child to be that way. Life is hard enough w/out being disadvantaged from birth.

Not sure if this was better suited for the den, i put it here as it's a very "deep" subject.

 

[*Stargazer*]

I do not opt for in depth testing when I am pregnant. There are hardly any circumstances that would prevent me from attempting to carry to term. That said, I don't condemn people for the choices they make in prenatal testing and the choices they make if they find out something is "wrong" with their baby.

I do, however, strongly object to the new trend of parents making designer babies with birth defects on purpose. I think that is absurd.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ladybug10678 I do, however, strongly object to the new trend of parents making designer babies with birth defects on purpose. I think that is absurd.

Huh? Do explain more... :whattha:

 

[*Stargazer*]

WaPo, among others, had an article a few months back about the new trend of parents, in particular, deaf parents, actively seeking to conceive (through IVF) children who are also deaf.

I can't find the darn WaPo article but here is something similar from MSNBC.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16299656...15773?GT1=8816

 

[Shimmer]

I remember that. Not too keen on it myself.

 

[MAC_Whore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ladybug10678 WaPo, among others, had an article a few months back about the new trend of parents, in particular, deaf parents, actively seeking to conceive (through IVF) children who are also deaf...

God, how sickeningly selfish.

 

[ilovexnerdsx]

i cant imagine the anger these children would feel later in life towards their parents once they understand the concept. i know that unintended inherited diseases can cause anger towards the parents.... why would the parents choose having a bad relationship with a possibly unproductive and unhappy child, rather than a good relationship with a healthy, happy child? i think they should allow the child to live the life the parents wish they could have. that's what love is, in my opinion.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Purposefully making a child disadvantaged is incredibly selfish and science shouldn't be allowed to do that. I'm not for most genetic engineering anyway, but that really pisses me off. Life is hard enough as is; why go out of your way to make your kid's life harder?

I can't know what it's like to raise a kid with a disability, but I hope the parents make decisions based on what's best for the child at that point and not just based upon society's stigma of having a kid with Downs.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ladybug10678 WaPo, among others, had an article a few months back about the new trend of parents, in particular, deaf parents, actively seeking to conceive (through IVF) children who are also deaf. I can't find the darn WaPo article but here is something similar from MSNBC. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16299656...15773?GT1=8816

wow.. you would think the hardships that the parents have suffered there entire lives, would be enough to want their children to not have to suffer thru those as well.

that is just awful and extremely selfish

 

[XsMom21]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...011201954.html I dont think I would want my child to be that way. Life is hard enough w/out being disadvantaged from birth.

As a mother, I have to say that your comment here deeply disturbs me.

When I was pregnant, I was informed that I was a carrier of the gene for cystic fibrosis. If my husband was also a carrier of the gene, there would be a one in four chance my son would be born with the disease.

After much thought, I decided that I didn't want to know. When you have a life growing inside you, something that you and someone you love created, no burden would (or at least SHOULD) dissuade you from giving life to that child and giving it love and taking care of it.

My son was born healthy, but while at the hospital recovering from the delivery I met a woman with two sons. One of which has this disease. I asked her about her sons and she lit up, telling me about both of them. There was no love lost because her son was sick. She told me about how they had to use organic cleaners around the house so not to aggrevate his condition, but she spoke of her children as if neither were ill.

Having a disease of any kind, be it Down Syndrome, MS, cystic fibrosis, whatever, does not make anyone less of a person, and it really upsets me that people will terminate a pregnancy for the simple fact that their child isn't "perfect."

I'm pro-choice, don't get me wrong. But I believe that this isn't a choice, rather a person saying "I don't want you because you'll inconvenience me and not meet my idea of a perfect life."

If my son had been sick, or had a disease of any kind, it would NOT take away my love for him.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

I'm pro-choice, don't get me wrong. But I believe that this isn't a choice, rather a person saying "I don't want you because you'll inconvenience me and not meet my idea of a perfect life."

Isn't that the EXACT same this as saying, I don't want this pefectly healthy baby, because it was unplanned/unwanted, and will inconvienence me and not meet my idea of a perfect life? How is this any different?

 

[Hawkeye]

Wow. I'm torn on that article to. It just- yeah.

 

[XsMom21]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Isn't that the EXACT same this as saying, I don't want this pefectly healthy baby, because it was unplanned/unwanted, and will inconvienence me and not meet my idea of a perfect life? How is this any different?

When I say I'm pro-choice, I mean that it's a woman's decision. But, in my beliefs, terminating a pregnancy because you are a victim of rape, or can in no way provide a good life for the child is different than terminating a pregnancy because of a defect.

All of what I said are just my beliefs and I was just voicing my opinion. I did not mean to offend anyone by my statements, but your statement did disturb me.

 

[calbear]

Be careful on the deaf topic - as most deaf people do not see them selves as disabled or disadvantaged. I've read things where the deaf community sees themselves as just different (no different than being blomd or brunette) .

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by calbear Be careful on the deaf topic - as most deaf people do not see them selves as disabled or disadvantaged. I've read things where the deaf community sees themselves as just different (no different than being blomd or brunette) .

But what I think what people were questioning was the specific choice of using fertility treatments, to produce a deaf baby. Which imo seems like child abuse.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by XsMom21 When I say I'm pro-choice, I mean that it's a woman's decision. But, in my beliefs, terminating a pregnancy because you are a victim of rape, or can in no way provide a good life for the child is different than terminating a pregnancy because of a defect. All of what I said are just my beliefs and I was just voicing my opinion. I did not mean to offend anyone by my statements, but your statement did disturb me.

No offense taken. We just share different beliefs with regards to what is an "acceptable" reason to terminate a pregnancy. No one reason is more right than another.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

When you have a life growing inside you, something that you and someone you love created, no burden would (or at least SHOULD) dissuade you from giving life to that child and giving it love and taking care of it.

But what if you don't want to burden your child? I'm not saying I agree with it, but I imagine there must be someone out there who has aborted a child because whatever birth defects were going to be extremely painful for it.

Quote:

Be careful on the deaf topic - as most deaf people do not see them selves as disabled or disadvantaged. I've read things where the deaf community sees themselves as just different (no different than being blomd or brunette) .

I can't understand that belief. It is a disability, considering how much of our world relies on one to hear. Most people speak, not sign. We use sirens and noise to indicate that cars should move out the way or that your house is on fire.

It's not a slam to say that one has a disability or disadvantage. However, most rational people should be able to acknowledge that this world relies so much on hearing and thus, not being able to hear or hear well, is a disadvantage. If we weren't reliant on audio for a lot of things, I wouldn't see it as such.

 

[calbear]

My point was not whether you or I see it as a disability, but what some in the deaf community see it as. It is hard to argue to someone that they are designing their child with a disability if they do not see their situation as such.

 

[Shimmer]

Even if someone swears the grass is purple and the sky is brown, and tries to convince the world of that, it doesn't change the fact that the grass is green and the sky is blue.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Even if someone swears the grass is purple and the sky is brown, and tries to convince the world of that, it doesn't change the fact that the grass is green and the sky is blue.

Actually the sky doesn't really have a specific color, as it changes based upon the wavelengths of light that are scattered off particles in the atmosphere depending on the time of day. So when the sun is above us, aka daytime, we see the sky as blue, because blue light which has a short wavelength, is scattered first, while colors like red and yellow, etc, have longer wavelengths and dont scatter as quickly. This is also why once the sun is setting, we see sunsets as orange and yellow reds etc. Because all the blue light has been scattered away. This is also why California, which has SMOG! Has some of the BEST sunsets. Because all the pollution in the air allows more of the longer frequency wavelengths of light to be scattered giving really bright and beautiful sunsets over the ocean.