Whoa.. what the hell? So confused! HELP!

[AdlersMommy22]

So last night I was at work-- I work at a resteraunt (im sure everyone knows by now haha) and we've been having a few problems with our back of house... so we've hd some managers from other stores come to help us out. We got a manager (I'll call him M) about 2 weeks ago who is actually really really cool.. nto a stuck up dick or a hard ass or anything like most of the guys we get who come through here.. hes buisness but not ALL buisness. Everyone really likes him.

He's from Indianapolis.. has a 10 month old daughter and a 3 year old little boy.. and is very much married...

Ive gotton along with him really well.. I get along with pretty much everyone really well and am really outgoing and talkative... whenever he wants to go on a smoke break after we slow down at night he comes and gets me and lets me go with him before everyone else... this has been going on for about 2 weeks.. NO big deal.

So last night we went out for a smoke break again (I didnt smoke.. just took a break lol) and he was like "let me see your phone." I gave him my phone and he texted someone from it.. I went up to him inside and said "M, who the hell did yo utext on my phone" and he started denying that he had done it. I was like "bullshit i SAW you do it." we were laughing about it @ this pt .. no big deal.

Well about 20 minutes later I get a text from that numbr and it says "2 and 1/2 men guy"... which means it was M... because I was kidding with him about how the way he dresses reminds me of Alan from 2 and 1/2 men... so I thought that was pretty weird that he would text HIS phone from MY phone.. I guess so that I could have his number and he could have mine-- weird.

So for the next HOUR he's texting me .... which is weird because most of the time we were right next to eachother walking around the resteraunt and stuff...

Then I get off work, have a glass of wine with some friends there, and as Im leaving I get a text that says "Where are you going.. you're leaving me!" and i said "haha HOME.. im tired.. ahve a good drive to indianapolis tomorrow." and he just KEEPS texting me... then starts to talk about how his ex used to send him naked pictures to his email... I was like.. wtf?????

He texted me until like 1am this morning... and I mean most of it was completely harmless. ... and its not like he's the only manager that has my number.. ALL my managers do. We all hang out and go out all the time.. NO big deal... but its weird because he's a visiting manager from another store who is MARRIED with 2 kids.. none of my other managers are married or even close to being in relationships.

I dont know what to do.. I haven heard from him since about 1am this morning... and im just kinda weirded out about the whole thing... I mean hes MARRIED.... it just throws me.. what the hell??

What should i do? Its not like he was coming onto me but he was DEF flirting big time... and ... ugh I dont know....

 

[RoseyPosey]

Seriously, i would just ignore the texts. if he ever comes back to help at the restaurant, just be all business. dont go out for breaks with him etc.

 

[TISH1124]

My advice is to Ignore him...Normally if you ignore these types they eventually get the message and go away. If he gets a response from you he will think you are slightly interested and continue. Just IMO

Ignore, Ignore, Delete, Delete.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseyPosey Seriously, i would just ignore the texts. if he ever comes back to help at the restaurant, just be all business. dont go out for breaks with him etc.

oh he is coming back. He jsut went to indianapolis for the day to spend halloween with his family............

He'll be here for like.. 6 months....

 

[user79]

I'd say ignore it for now. Try to just brush him off casually. If he keeps up with the txt msg and hounding you about it, then tell him straight up that you feel uncomfortable with him sending you txt msgs and that if he has something to say to you about work, he can do so during your shifts.

If he still doesn't stop, and you feel really weirded out about this, take it to the next level up boss.

So, first try to resolve the issue with him personally, then escalate if he gets weirder and weirder.

He seems extremely unprofessional.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

^ugh no kidding... I think aside from him being my boss it bothers me that he's married and hitting on me.. then turning around in the next breath and showing me pictures of his kids... wtf?

 

[katie_070405]

I would let someone know.....just from the standpoint of his wife finding out.....it looks like you text messaged him first.

 

[couturesista]

BFF, ITA agree with all of the above advice, but let's keep it real, we all know no matter how much you ignore him he still we try his hand. I suggest the next time he texts u or u see him that u let him know that u don't feel comfortable about him texting u and having a wife. If u don't want to include her in it just say I'm seeing someone and I feel its disrespectful to be receiving texts from other guys. HTH, Don't feel bad u did nothing wrong, you can't help the fact that ur beautiful and outgoing!

 

[AdlersMommy22]

BFF you always know how to make me feel better! All of you guys had great advice!!!

I think i will use the "im seeing someone" line.. I think that I would feel better doing that then throwing it on him making him feel like a perv or something--- and unless he texts me again Im pry nt going to say anything...But if he DOES text me again I think I'll say that.. I just would HATE for his wife to find out what's going on and think for SOME reason that hes texting me for some.... bad reason. You know? grrrr

 

[Beauty Mark]

Ignore it for now, but if he continues, tell him firmly that you're not interested. If he won't quit, tell one of your higher ups.

 

[meaghanb2926]

Is it possible he texted someone else (like a guy friend) and told them to text you back pretending to be him? I know it sounds weird but maybe he asked someone else to do it so that if anything ever happened he could say it wasn't his number (which would be true)....

 

[reesesilverstar]

I don't think ignoring him will do the trick either... The fact that he was texting you all night long, said you were leaving him after work, and he is married with children...

Be forthright, but polite. Let him know you're not comfortable with him texting you. It's disrespectful to his wife. Always remind him, he has a wife. And you respect her.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by meaghanb2926 Is it possible he texted someone else (like a guy friend) and told them to text you back pretending to be him? I know it sounds weird but maybe he asked someone else to do it so that if anything ever happened he could say it wasn't his number (which would be true)....

nope. no chance. I saw him texting me when we were texting back and forth at work... and he'd text me things that we had talked about durring the shift that night.. it wasnt just a few texts.. it was close to 60... im for sure it was def him...

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by reesesilverstar I don't think ignoring him will do the trick either... The fact that he was texting you all night long, said you were leaving him after work, and he is married with children... Be forthright, but polite. Let him know you're not comfortable with him texting you. It's disrespectful to his wife. Always remind him, he has a wife. And you respect her.

ugh i agree.. the thing that messes me up the MOSt is that he has a wife... i would be devestated if my husband was doing this to me... DEVESTATED... i mean- i look at marriage as the most precious connection between a man, woman, and God.... Its dispicable to me that he would even THINK.. that it would even cross his MIND to cheat on his wife...:-(

 

[reesesilverstar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdlersMommy22 ugh i agree.. the thing that messes me up the MOSt is that he has a wife... i would be devestated if my husband was doing this to me... DEVESTATED... i mean- i look at marriage as the most precious connection between a man, woman, and God.... Its dispicable to me that he would even THINK.. that it would even cross his MIND to cheat on his wife...:-(

Very smart lady. That's what I wanted to say initially, but I didn't want to offend you. That's how I see it - what if it were me? That clears up the grey areas usually. You could tell something is wrong with this. Follow your gut girl!

Good luck, take care

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by reesesilverstar Very smart lady. That's what I wanted to say initially, but I didn't want to offend you. That's how I see it - what if it were me? That clears up the grey areas usually. You could tell something is wrong with this. Follow your gut girl! Good luck, take care

Thanks! Yeah I def know Im not going to let him advance on me in any way

Last night he texted me AGAIN though from my resteraunt and I didnt even respond to him...

 

[ClaireAvril]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoseyPosey Seriously, i would just ignore the texts. if he ever comes back to help at the restaurant, just be all business. dont go out for breaks with him etc.

Times this by a trillion!!!

I am so sick of these married men who leave their wife and kids @ home and go and flirt or cheat.. they just want to have their cake and eat it too.
Ignore his ass.. he's selfish.

 

[NutMeg]

I think you should say something about how you feel he's being inappropriate and then ignore him.

 

[susannef]

are you not at all attracted to this guy?

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannef are you not at all attracted to this guy?

Oh GOD no..not @ all.. I mean hes a really nice guy but he's probably close to his 40's (im 22) and is WAY skinny and ... just reminds me of someone who should be my uncle or something.. not anyone I would ever in a trillion years think of dating.

So I told my ex (the corporate trainer who is in town) about what was going on yesterday when I got to work- I just felt like I needed to tell someone.. and Otto wasn't going to say anything unless I asked him to... he told me basically the same thing you all are telling me- and that if that didnt work to tell him and he would get it taken care of in about 20 minutes.. he's really pissed. He said he's a dumbass too for sending me texts because he's seen 2 managers in that company lose their jobs for stuff like this.

Didnt stop him from texting me last night.. finally I said "M. You DO realize you're married- right?" and he started FREAKING out "do you think im a bad person... are you mad???"

I texted him back and said "No i dont think you're a bad person but I think that if you keep texting me you are." and then i said "I like being friends.. and I think you're an awesome person-- but you're married and Im dating someone and I dont feel comfortable"

and he didnt text me the rest of the night until about 2am and goes "You know I'm happily married. I am. I just like to have a little fun. And im sorry if i offended you. Are you mad?" and I didnt text him back...

blach- tonight should be interesting.