Why can't we grow up and talk about things without hurt feelings?

[SparklingWaves]

I am all out of sorts due to this newest notice in my mailbox at home. I want to slam my box of cereal on the table, but it's too darn expensive to replace any pieces that may fall on the floor.

I will go pet those pups. At least, I am not charged for that (yet).

I will hush.

 

[athena123]

Even in this age of political correctness, there is no protection from offense, be it real or perceived. There is no protection from the realm of ideas outside our own world. I like that Specktra has an open forum to discuss the important issues of today and hate to see the few who take differences too personally ruin it for the many.

 

[nunu]

It is sad to see some threads go. Some people take things seriously and personally, if you don't like the content of a thread then don't read it. If you have to put your input in the thread then give valuable evidence don't just lash out at someone just because you don't agree with them. Every person is different and that is what makes us unique. We are all adults here who are able to communicate with each other so why not communicate in a friendly way? We don't want lurkers to get a bad perception of this website as well.

 

[tiramisu]

Okay, I'll bite just this once....I don't appreciate it being obviously insinuated that because I was hurt by someone's statements (contrary to apparent belief here, you can be a "grown up" and still have your feelings hurt) and tried to explain my viewpoint (without lashing out or calling someone names, or using bad language, unless using the letter "F" counts) that I "ruined it" for the rest of you. Or, that I "created drama" intentionally.
So if that's the way you feel, I'll remove myself from your deep thoughts, okay? No harm done.

carry on ...

 

[frocher]

.............

 

[athena123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiramisu Okay, I'll bite just this once....I don't appreciate it being obviously insinuated that because I was hurt by someone's statements (contrary to apparent belief here, you can be a "grown up" and still have your feelings hurt) and tried to explain my viewpoint (without lashing out or calling someone names, or using bad language, unless using the letter "F" counts) that I "ruined it" for the rest of you. Or, that I "created drama" intentionally. So if that's the way you feel, I'll remove myself from your deep thoughts, okay? No harm done. carry on ...

tiramisu, I can assure you that this thread was NOT directed at you. Your points were very well spoken. You were a class act able to communicate your ideas without the high-school antics displayed by a very few. It's to those very, very few (and they know who they are) that this post was directed.

 

[athena123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher In theory we should all be able to talk about issues without getting our feelings hurt. However, when those issues involve the health and well being of our love ones, esp. our children, I think it is asking too much to discuss without "hurt feelings." Personally I have seen people get more worked up about politics and religion on this board. Our family's health and welfare? That is hitting pretty close to home. Also I would like to add, Tiramisu never asked for the thread to be closed.

I quite believe you on this point Frocher. I don't think this was at tiramisu's instigation any more than it was mine. I have my own ideas about the who but will keep those ideas to myself, since that's not really the intent of this thread. I'm not going to resort to the name-calling I so railed against!

 

[hrdruian]

I can't believe that this is still being discussed. It all got way out of proportion, and granted I was a part of it. I apologize if things that I said were taken in the wrong voice. I don't believe the argument that resulted on the thread was due to the topic. I think it came more from people appearing to be insensitive to others life situations. Again, I apologize if I unintentionally offended anyone as it was not my purpose and I do feel that such topics should be able to be discussed.

If its really importnat to find out why it was removed, then maybe we a moderator or Janice can fill us in. Otherwise, I think we can all just let it go.

 

[athena123]

hrdruian, I really didn't mean this thread to turn into a rehash of the unmentionable thread. Perhaps I should have used another example but it was the one closest to hand.

My original post in this thread wasn't so much about why a certain thread was removed. It was meant to question why ideas can't be discussed in an open environment that result in the removal of any threads whatsoever. Whatever. Good night all,

 

[xoxprincessx0x]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACATTAK I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings. However, just because you put "no offense" before a statement doesn't make it any less hurtful to someone who is dealing with it in a personal, everyday situation.

TOTALLY AGREED

I was looking at a thread the other day where a girl was asking for some advice on a sensitive topic, and other people didn't agree with where she was coming from. She was very well spoken and seemed mature enough. Everyone started attacking her beginning every sentence with "no offense." I mean OBVIOUSLY offense will be taken when you are literally lashing out. Not neccessarily using obsenities, but belittling in a discreet way.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hrdruian I can't believe that this is still being discussed. It all got way out of proportion, and granted I was a part of it. I apologize if things that I said were taken in the wrong voice. I don't believe the argument that resulted on the thread was due to the topic. I think it came more from people appearing to be insensitive to others life situations. Again, I apologize if I unintentionally offended anyone as it was not my purpose and I do feel that such topics should be able to be discussed. If its really importnat to find out why it was removed, then maybe we a moderator or Janice can fill us in. Otherwise, I think we can all just let it go.

There's a difference between stating an opinion (I don't agree with governmental decisions on ____ issue) and being an ass (People who think like ____ in the government are stupid).
There's a right way to present a position, and a wrong way.

Sorry, the world isn't going to cater to everyone for every individual hot button every person possess. Sometimes you just have to look at a situation and say "Ok, I don't agree but I see where she's coming from."

Take the emotional visceral reaction out and apply logic.

 

[Simply Elegant]

To answer your original question, I think it's because we all have feelings and biases and we can't objectively answer something that can be really personal like a robot without any sort of feeling. And sometimes people confuse an opinion or a behaviour they don't like with a person and just blame them. Instead of disliking that thing, they're disliking the person and attributing their negative feelings to the person instead which just happens sometimes.

 

[Janice]

I'm really disappointed to see a continuation of the emotional involvement there was in the other thread.

I don't think that was the intention of this thread, but that's what it's turned into.

Take a step away and realize it's just an open and honestly frank discussion amongst smart and empowered females. There isn't a personal angle in it unless those reading and replying make it personal.

The thread wasn't removed because we can't grow up and talk about things without hurt feelings. It wasn't removed because the topic is censored. (???)

It was removed due to an administrative decision based on something that happened IN the thread that was not associated with the topic or the drama in it.

I hope we can all move on now and leave no hard feelings behind.

 

[captodometer]

I missed the original thread, so no comment. But the new one seems quite rational and productive, so let the discussion continue

 

[Kalico]

Quote:

Originally Posted by captodometer I missed the original thread, so no comment. But the new one seems quite rational and productive, so let the discussion continue

Me too.

All this over budgeting...?

*scratches head* But even in this new thread, I can feel the tension in the air. Eeps!

Edited to add: Ahh, now I get it. Just visited the other thread. I first imagined it being a thread on how to budget well, like cutting coupons and shopping at Walmart.