why does EVERY GUY just want sex?!?!?!?!

[Beauty Mark]

Not all guys want sex. I'm sorry you've had some shitty experiences, though.

I think there are some great avenues to take if you're looking for something more. Perhaps online dating or something similar would work?

 

[JesRed428]

I'm not trying to be rude, but not all guys just want sex. Have you ever considered that maybe you don't hold yourself in the right way or talk to the right guys? Because honestly, if you have respect for yourself then and only thenwill other people.

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesRed428 I'm not trying to be rude, but not all guys just want sex. Have you ever considered that maybe you don't hold yourself in the right way or talk to the right guys? Because honestly, if you have respect for yourself then and only thenwill other people.

While I see your point, an asshole is an asshole, an nothing about the way she carries herself will make him not be who he is.


I dress modestly, I don't flirt or draw attention to myself, and some men will say lewd and crass shit to me, when I'm clearly not paying them any mind or seeking attention from them or anyone else.

of course, I cuss their asses out when I'm approached rudely, but the likelihood is that they'll go right on to the next woman, whether she carries herself "loosely" or not, and try the same bullshit. Having an asshole come on to you is NEVER your fault. Period.

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with people only wanting sex out of a relationship, as long as both parties involved agree upon that as a mutual goal/purpose. She should consider herself lucky that this dude was up front about his intentions with her, and she can on on about her life not worrying about him.

 

[TwiggyPop]

I hate to even ask this, but do you think you might be suffering from PPD? It causes feelings of worthlessness, trust me I know, I'm suffering from it now and it's even caused me to question my own boyfriends intentions on being with me. Everything in my life has gone to shit lately and I think it has a lot to do with my depression. The slimy guys pick up on girls who are vulnerable and just take advantage so maybe a relationship isn't what you need right now.

I might be completely off and forgive me if I am, but as soon as I read that you felt worthless it just struck a chord with me.
I hope things start to work out for you!

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Focus on yourself, your son, and surround yourself with positive people. "The one" tends to come along when you're not LOOKING, SEARCHING for love and affection.

 

[ClaireAvril]

we all go through meeting guys who are just assholes.
I never let it get it the point where I am asking myself what is wrong with me.. its obviously them lol.
Glad you're not falling for it all.. just be a strong woman.. take care of your baby and the right man will come in time.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeavenLeiBlu While I see your point, an asshole is an asshole, an nothing about the way she carries herself will make him not be who he is. I dress modestly, I don't flirt or draw attention to myself, and some men will say lewd and crass shit to me, when I'm clearly not paying them any mind or seeking attention from them or anyone else. of course, I cuss their asses out when I'm approached rudely, but the likelihood is that they'll go right on to the next woman, whether she carries herself "loosely" or not, and try the same bullshit. Having an asshole come on to you is NEVER your fault. Period. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with people only wanting sex out of a relationship, as long as both parties involved agree upon that as a mutual goal/purpose. She should consider herself lucky that this dude was up front about his intentions with her, and she can on on about her life not worrying about him.

My fiancee's 40-something year old mother who dress very modestly gets catcalled. I think it's just how some men are.

It's hard to tell who'll be "good", too. So-called "classy" men are just as bad.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesRed428 I'm not trying to be rude, but not all guys just want sex. Have you ever considered that maybe you don't hold yourself in the right way or talk to the right guys? Because honestly, if you have respect for yourself then and only thenwill other people.

Wow. Im realllly not even sure what to say to that.


to everyone else- thank you soooo much for all of your replies- im so glad I have such supportive people to turn to in a time like this!!! Im going to seriously just take everyones advice and not worry about stupid guys right now- when the right one comes along then he will come along! Even though its hard-- especially when i get SO excited because ifinally think that i meet a nice guy and he turns out to be juuuust like the rest

But there have to be good guys out there sooooooooo.... i really just need to keep my options open and concentrate on bettering my life for me and my son!

 

[annie333]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdlersMommy22 so true!!! I think that way about Adler... I dont want to be around someone who isnt a good role model for him....And i am glad i found out BEFORE I went out with him that all he wanted was sex... blah!

Why don't you just be the one around who is the good role model. I was a single parent for a long time and didn't meet my SO until my son was about 10. You don't NEED a man in your life to complete you. In fact, I was your age when I had my son and had ZERO self-love. Therefore, I continued to make poor decisions regarding men which only seemed to hurt the one person I SHOULD have been thinking about and protecting. You have a child and he is your number one responsibility...not finding the next guy to date. Let your son be the male in your life and worry about men when you absolutely love yourself first and foremost above everyone except your child.

I know my opinion is a bit tough to swallow but when you have a child, your life doesn't end. But "finding a man" should not be your main objective....raising a man should be. Mine is 15 now and amazing. I am glad I stopped worrying about dating and "finding a man" so I could enjoy being his mom. Just my two thoughts. At my age, I wish I would have had some of the advice and hindsight I have now. I would have saved a lot of time acting the fool.

 

[Krasevayadancer]

I am so sorry to hear of your experiences. My best advice would be to move past the jerks, eventually you will find the right guy who will be honest, considerate, and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated

 

[LoveMU]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesRed428 I'm not trying to be rude, but not all guys just want sex. Have you ever considered that maybe you don't hold yourself in the right way or talk to the right guys? Because honestly, if you have respect for yourself then and only thenwill other people.

I don't think we should blame ourselves for the way that men treat us. I treat people with respect regardless of what they look like. Just because a woman is young and attractive and likes to dress up or put on makeup does NOT mean she's a tramp.

I am going through the same thing. I keep meeting guys who just want to use me for sex. i feel very naive when it comes to men and sometimes I can't see through their line of bull. I just started dating this guy and I was very excited because he treated me so respectfully at first and he paid for our dates and was so funny and cool. It's been three weeks and now he feels like he is entitled to sex or something. I am constantly asking him about his background and trying to get to know him. The other night I was asking him some questions and telling him how he seemed like a "traditional" man and i asked him how he thought of me, and he said "i think you have a hot ass." I guess he was joking, but I am very disapointed. I thought that if he took you out that it meant he wanted more than just sex.

I admire you for totally ignoring him and cutting him out right away. I wish I was better at cutting out the trash!

 

[Simply Elegant]

^ I agree. Even if some girl did dress up in barely anything and wore loads of makeup, the guy still has his free will to treat people decently no matter if a girl is wearing a turtleneck and no makeup or all glammed up. It's all his decision and not the girl's fault.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by annie333 Why don't you just be the one around who is the good role model. I was a single parent for a long time and didn't meet my SO until my son was about 10. You don't NEED a man in your life to complete you. In fact, I was your age when I had my son and had ZERO self-love. Therefore, I continued to make poor decisions regarding men which only seemed to hurt the one person I SHOULD have been thinking about and protecting. You have a child and he is your number one responsibility...not finding the next guy to date. Let your son be the male in your life and worry about men when you absolutely love yourself first and foremost above everyone except your child. I know my opinion is a bit tough to swallow but when you have a child, your life doesn't end. But "finding a man" should not be your main objective....raising a man should be. Mine is 15 now and amazing. I am glad I stopped worrying about dating and "finding a man" so I could enjoy being his mom. Just my two thoughts. At my age, I wish I would have had some of the advice and hindsight I have now. I would have saved a lot of time acting the fool.

I appreciate your advice and i completely agree with you- however I dont really believe its your place to assume that my "main priority" is to find a man. I never said that it was. My main priority ALWAYS has been and ALWAYS will be my son. I dont go to school 18 hours a week, work 40 hours a week and spend every waking moment that i can with my son in order to find a man. I work my ass off and run myself raged in order to better my son's life and mine so that he can have whats best for him.

The only thing i was upset about was that while i was working (I actually waited on a group of secret service officers who were in town because the president was coming to town the next day for a republican convention for one of our state reps) and this guy gave me his number, lives about 40 minutes away, and we had been texting off and on a bit-- I was suppoed to go out on my FIRST date since i broke up with my fiance about a year and 1/2 ago and then i found out all he wanted was to come here and rent a hotel room so we could have sex.

I dont think that the fact that im upset that all this guy wanted was a piece of ass means that my "main priority" is finding a man.......

 

[Mizz Coco Lust]

im sorry to say it but alot of guys will turn on u when they find out a girl has a baby. u turn into just sex when they find out. and i know theres guys who will love u and be there for ur baby, but ur probaly going to have to put up with alot of jerks b4 u find that 1, just don't don't stop looking. u'll find him. it's just a painful part of being a young single mom

so dont doubt urself.

 

[babydoll_020]

How I loathe this topic, because its so true!
Im not too sure whats worse though!
The utter blunt-ness of a guys intention, or the sly subtly that he uses to cover his intentions! Both however piss me off ! I dont think its that difficult to be treated like an actual human being, and not just a piece of ass. Remain single until, you can find someone like that. Id rather remain single my whole life than deal with idiots like these.

 

[Blushbaby]

Not every guy is after sex. You have respectful and thoughtful ones out there - my boyf's one of them. Seriously I thought men like him just didn't exist, not in my world anyway as I'd come across too many "secret service" men after I split with my last ex.

You're an attractive, young (yes YOUNG) woman with a beautiful baby. Don't let a fu*kwit like this guy bring you down hon'. You're worthy of only the best and deep down I think you know this.

Oh and well done for not bothering to respond to that text he sent you in the middle of the night! Silence speaks volumes!

Chin up, and smile again xx

 

[l1onqueen]

Shoot, having a baby runs all the men that approach me away, lol! I'm seeing someone, but whenever I get approached say in the mall, if I can't get rid of the guy with the usual, "I have a boyfriend" I just somehow bring up my daughter and they run like hell!