Why is it okay?

[Dark_Phoenix]

Okay, this isn't totally in response to what I've read in the Tyra Banks thread (and it's not directed at anyone at all) but it's got me thinking.

Why is it okay to say boney, thin women look "disgusting, gross, sick, horrible, etc.." but it's not okay to describe overweight women that way?

 

[Jacq-i]

I don't think it's okay. I think it's a double-standard of society.

I hope nobody takes this the wrong way but at times when I hear some larger women making fun of a thin girl I think they're sour grapesing the situation. Now I am sure that some, if not most) actually think that these girls look sickly, but I am also fairly confident that *some* use it as a way to say "I wouldn't want to look like that anyway" even though they'd like to lose weight themselves. Now I bet most women that are striving to lose weight do not want to be as 'sickly' thin as runway models, but a small clothes size none-the-less.

For many it's a health concern, but actually sticking to healthier eating habits and exercise can be very difficult and frustrating. If these women say "I don't want to look like THAT" then it could be a bit of a safety-net of time, before they begin their weight-loss plan.

Mind you this is just an opinion I have based on some women I have overheard making fun of thin girls that were within 100ft of. I am not generalizing the public, I am only talking about my assumptions and observations of the women I have seen. Again, I am NOT assuming that all larger women I see everyday think this way, I'm just talking about the ones that openly mock others that I have personally overhead.

Also, I am not a thin girl myself. I'm basically an average weight/height 22 year old girl. I'd like to lose a bit of weight on my stomach (health-wise) but otherwise I'm fairly happy in my skin.

[I try to stay away from discussing a person's actual physical being, and leave it at superficial/temporary aspects of them. For example, somebody's highlights, manicure, makeup style, clothes, etc. I don't make fun of people, but if I was to discuss something physical, I'd only talk about something short-term and easily changed.]

 

[frocher]

It's not okay. I think it is a backlash to how the media reveres thinness and implies that those who are heavier lack self control and/or discipline. Also, the standards of what constitutes heaviness has become ridiculous.

 

[frocher]

Geez, I am double posting a lot lately, sorry guys.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma_Frost Okay, this isn't totally in response to what I've read in the Tyra Banks thread (and it's not directed at anyone at all) but it's got me thinking. Why is it okay to say boney, thin women look "disgusting, gross, sick, horrible, etc.." but it's not okay to describe overweight women that way?

It's one of societies lovely little double standards is all.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher Also, the standards of what constitutes heaviness has become ridiculous.

Thats because as the population gets larger, the perception of what's a normal body weight gets shifted. If you look around you and notice that everyone is overweight, being overweight isn't really anything to worry about, since it's normal or average.

http://perezhilton.com/?cat=65

The blurb about Nikki Blonski from hairspray was interesting. No need to worry about your size at Lane Bryant, since those pants she's holding, are a size 1.

Stuff like that only helps to further normalize a larger body, as the societal norm.

 

[frocher]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Thats because as the population gets larger, the perception of what's a normal body weight gets shifted. If you look around you and notice that everyone is overweight, being overweight isn't really anything to worry about, since it's normal or average. http://perezhilton.com/?cat=65 The blurb about Nikki Blonski from hairspray was interesting. No need to worry about your size at Lane Bryant, since those pants she's holding, are a size 1. Stuff like that only helps to further normalize a larger body, as the societal norm.

What does it matter what size she is holding? That is the problem with our society, this is the main way in which we judge intelligent women with so much to offer, the size of their jeans.

America does have an obesity problem, I agree, but not all larger women are obese. I am very small boned, so a size 12-14 on me would mean I was in the seriously unhealthy range. But I have a Samoan girlfriend that wears a 12-14, and she is thin, her bones are just much bigger than mine.

There is no right formula to that will fit everyone, we are all different.

 

[3jane]

People probably think it's more ok to make fun of skinny women, because skinniness is still the ideal, regardless of whether the population is steadily getting bigger. So when someone's making fun of fat people, that comment carries the weight of an entire cultural ideal of what's (not) beautiful behind it.

Meanwhile, since skinny girls supposedly have what everyone wants, people probably think their negative comments aren't as hurtful. Anecdotally, I can say this has a grain of truth, perhaps-- I'm naturally thin, but fluctuate a bit. So if I'm losing a bit of weight, if I hear something like "eat a hamburger!" a part of me is pleased people notice.

Anyway, I'm a big proponent of having many different types of beauty. We only have double-standards because we're so stuck on one ideal.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher What does it matter what size she is holding? That is the problem with our society, this is the main way in which we judge intelligent women with so much to offer, the size of their jeans.

I wasn't commenting on the size of the jeans.

You had said, "Also, the standards of what constitutes heaviness has become ridiculous."

And that reminded me of that little blurb I read today, which is basically shows that point, as i read it. If you ask someone if a size 1 is big, or small, their going to say small. So that store is just showing how the standard of what's "small" is changeing.

Anyone who wears small clothes sizes has noticed that everything is getting bigger. Eigther by less availibility of small sizes, or in your size fitting bigger on you, than it used too. Which is a direct reactiong to a population that is growing, and what used to be seen a big, is now just normal.

 

[Kimberleigh]

Quote:

Anyone who wears small clothes sizes has noticed that everything is getting bigger. Eigther [sic] by less availibility of small sizes, or in your size fitting bigger on you, than it used too. Which is a direct reactiong [sic]to a population that is growing, and what used to be seen a big, is now just normal

I disagree. Pre pregnancy I was 5'3" (that hasn't change) and weighed anywhere between 110 and 115 depending on the season. Based on my waist measurement I should be able to wear a size 5, but when I tried on jeans a 5 was WAY too tight. However, if I buy a dress, I can usually fit a 4 or a 6. I gave up on regular jeans that use the standard US sizing and now only buy jeans that come in waist sizes (7 for all mankind, etc.) because it takes away the guess work...and that way I don't have to take in 1/2 dozen pairs of jeans into the fitting room to find the pants that are actually going to fit me.

The only time I can fit into a 5 is typically when I go somewhere like Saks or Nordstroms and buy nice trousers; then I can fit into a 3 because of "vanity sizing".

 

[thestarsfall]

when I see a stick thin person whose bones are sticking out I will think its gross/sickly, yes....

and when I see an OVERLY large woman who has many many spare tires and rolls and all that I also think that its gross...

however, since obesity is classified as a disablement now (?) and thinness is not it would be like making fun of someone in a wheelchair...

I see both sides of the spectrum with difficulties though...I am not obese, but I am overweight and have trouble finding clothes in regular sizes, but then the plus size clothes all vanity size so I fit the 14/15/16 there but not the regular size 14/15/16...
but then my sister has trouble finding clothes that fit her small frame...she has size 1 pants that hang off her, and she loses weight whenever she gets a cold...
and my friend's sister is tiny and TALL so she has to find pants that have a 35" + inseam in like a 24" waist or so...

yeah..

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

however, since obesity is classified as a disablement now (?) and thinness is not it would be like making fun of someone in a wheelchair...

Just because it's government sanctioned disability or not doesn't mean it's right to make fun of someone. Some people have acne scarred skin, and I'd think anyone who makes fun of them is a major asshole.

The reason why thinness gets the shoddy treatment is because a lot of people strive to be thin and think it's fair game to insult something coveted. Perhaps I'm wrong, but there seems to be more overweight people than thin people; crowds generally dictate what happens.

I also think people don't realize that being so thin is very sad and dangerous; I think it's very similar to be overweight, different reaction to some of the same symptoms.

 

[frocher]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I wasn't commenting on the size of the jeans. You had said, "Also, the standards of what constitutes heaviness has become ridiculous." And that reminded me of that little blurb I read today, which is basically shows that point, as i read it. If you ask someone if a size 1 is big, or small, their going to say small. So that store is just showing how the standard of what's "small" is changeing. Anyone who wears small clothes sizes has noticed that everything is getting bigger. Eigther by less availibility of small sizes, or in your size fitting bigger on you, than it used too. Which is a direct reactiong to a population that is growing, and what used to be seen a big, is now just normal.

We have also become taller. Also, Lane Bryant is a plus size store, so that is not the most accurate indicator.

Sizing has changed over the years that does not mean there is less availability. My eldest sister is a 0, and has no problem finding clothes, in fact she has stated to me that finding clothes is easier today than it has ever been for her. Vanity sizing has made clothes shopping easier for her, since smaller sizes are now readily available everywhere.

 

[dmenchi]

ok , who is more disgusting: a skinny chick weho puckes and starves her self or a normal weight chick? healthy , juicy? I have a bigger friend and she has an eating disorder & it makes me feel bad that i'm slender. i feel guilty when she's around me piggs out and then does her unhealthy behaviours...my BH says i shouldn't feel guilty because i eat healthy ang do yoga and always did something.....I work for my health, but for some gilrs it's like : ohh, your so skinny and you can eat everything....blah blah, but i do try to be healthy and i work hard to be healthy, not to be skinny and i do appreciate all shapes. MY BH and i joke around that i'm going to leave him for some big chested jucy lady ...well i call him my chopstick,which he is sooo perfect no fat just muskle but that's how his whole family is...LOL

 

[astronaut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma_Frost Why is it okay to say boney, thin women look "disgusting, gross, sick, horrible, etc.." but it's not okay to describe overweight women that way?

It's not okay to describe overweight women "that way" because they're not not boney. lol

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

who is more disgusting: a skinny chick weho puckes and starves her self or a normal weight chick?

But the question of the post isn't about "normal weight" people but about the polar opposites. Some people are naturally very thin, and I think it's incredibly offensive to call people "disgusting" or accuse them of mental illnesses (which first and foremost should NEVER be an insult; no one asks to be anorexic/bulimic anymore than anyone asks to be depressed/schizophrenic/bipolar/etc.) Sure, some people who are very thin are indulging in unhealthy habits. However, it's not everyone. It's like how some people who are bigger (I'm not talking the most extreme cases, like where people can't physically get themselves out of bed without major help) are overweight and need to lose weight and some are just going to be big, even when they're healthy.

I have friends who are very, very thin. Granted, I can't confirm what goes on behind closed doors, but I don't have any reason to believe they have eating disorders. They're just genetically geared towards having smaller bodies. I also have friends who are never going to be thin; they're genetically geared towards being larger women. Short of elective surgery, I can't see anything within their power to change their bodies without compromising their health in the long run. It's not right to insult people if they're troubled, and even if they're not, it's not right to insult people in irrelevant ways. It's the difference between declaring smoking a disgusting habit and calling smokers disgusting. I will agree with the former, but plenty of my friends are smokers and are far from disgusting.

 

[Kimberleigh]

Personally, I don't know why anybody would want to refer to ANYONE as "disgusting", fat or skinny or whatever. I think acts are disgusting, not people.

 

[angeliquea~+]

Calling someone "disgusting, gross, sick, horrible, etc..", for whatever reason, is wrong.

I have mixed feelings about this issue, because on the one hand, I've been subject to villification for my weight (or lack thereof). I've tried everything, eating double-sized portions, packets of tim-tams, weight-gaining shakes, all of it to fit in with the "norm". However it's all been to no avail, and I've come to accept it - I'm half-Asian so I'll always be this way, I've learned to stop fighting nature. Besides as Dr Seuss said, "Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."

On the other hand, I'm doing exercise and sport science at uni so 99.9% of the time I take a pretty pragmatic rather than personal view about weight - its not about the quantity of the weight, it's the quality of it. As previous posters have said if you're skinny but you're starving yourself to do so, its not healthy.

They had this exercise scientist on the tv the other day, and he was talking about a similar idea, but rather it was about refering to overweight people as fat. He said its simply a remark about their physical state (i.e Yao Ming is tall, Paris Hilton is blonde, Hilary Clinton is female, etc), not a reflection on the person themselves. Thoughts?

 

[beth_w]

I think if somebody is very thin or very large, it doesn't really matter, as long as they are healthy and happy. I would NEVER judge somebody because of it and I don't care what excuses people make, I think picking people apart for it is completely wrong and those people who do it should learn to respect others.

 

[glam8babe]

well i think really skinny girls do look sick. they have no fat on them at all, their clothes basically hang off them, their bones stick out, they look dead.
This girl who i went to school with was really normal i mean she needed to tone up abit but thats it! she wasnt fat just had abit of chubbiness she could of got toned, anyway last year in school she looked DEAD, her hair was falling out it was sooo thin, she looked tired/ill, her legs were like stick insects [not a good look!], she had no ass, and she lost her breasts! etc. she admitted to starving herself. then after school she went to the same college as me with her so called 'skinny jeans' [looked more like anorexic to me] and always woere high heels. who the fuck did she think she was? she called me and my friends fat for god sake and i go to the gym and everything and i kno im not fat i have curves. anyway she walks around college like shes the queen and she looks deathly, i seen her once with a pair of jeans on her HANGING off her literally it was terrible. this girl will never look the same again and shes only just turned 17. its really sad because she was such a lovely girl but now she thinks shes better looking than everyone. people laugh at her, people darent even look at her coz its so sick! and for those of you who think this looks sexi needs to get a grip. i posted in another thread that i had a friend who was naturally stick thin, she thought she was better than me, i got all the attention from boys, boys didnt even like her they thought she was gross. it just goes to show ya.. men prefer curves! look at JLO, beyonce, Tyra, Jessica simpson, Scarlett Johanson and all of those, they are proof that you dont need to be anorexic looking to be famous. and for those naturally thin girls who call us curvy girls fat, sorri but the stick thin girls ive spoke to said they wish they had my curves because i can fill out jeans good and when i see pics of them they have no thighs its just gross but i know they cant help it. im not being harsh im telling it how it is!

oh oh.. and one time i seen this girl with hair extentions down to her ass and looked so fake, she had no fuckin hips, no thighs, i couldnt even see her arms coz they were hiding infront of her hair [i only saw her from behind] she literally made me wanna puke and my boyfriend too! come on curvy girls its time to fight back!