You Cant be Kels, Im a Rock Star..

[Kels823]

Friday, August 25th, 2006

Positives
Worked out hard this week. Only had fast food once (McDonalds).

Negatives
Super sore from working out so hard. Dont feel like Im losing weight, actually feel bigger. Think Im still eating too many starches/breads.

Plan of Action
Sit in the whirlpool tonite @ the gym to relax muscles. Limit bread intake to 3 times a week. Instead of having one hard day of working out, spread them out over the week.

Personal Notes
SO and I played tennis for 1.5 hrs Wednesday then bball for 1 hr. Freakishly sore. I feel good becuz I know I worked it out. But I havent worked out since, I dont even wanna get up in the morning. So thats prolly not good. Playing football tomorrow w/ the guys, shouldnt be as tight as I have been the past few days by then. Im frustrated becuz I dont feel/see ne progress. I dont expect to lose 20lbs in a week but I dont even feel like Ive lost 1lb. Clothes still fit tight, etc. I dont know what Im doing wrong at this point.. Have been sorta tempted to try a diet pill but I really dont want my focus to be losing weight so much as getting healthy. But at the same time it would be nice to lose like 10lbs quickly to get the ball rolling.. I dunno.

 

[Kels823]

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Positives
Cant think of ne right now

Negatives
Keep falling off my eating plan

Plan of Action
Think about Medical Weight Loss Clinic

Personal Notes
Im very frustrated w/ myself.. its like Ill do good for a day. Then the next day Im back to eating stupid and ordering Thai food (and not the healthy Thai food either), etc.. Its like I dont stay motivated for very long. But I hate the way I look.. you would think thats motivation enuf. I was thinking about doing Medical Weight Loss Clinic.. I went for a consultation before and it sounded okay but I felt like a punk, like I wasnt doing it on my own. But now I just dont think I can do it on my own.. Then I thought about going to Weight Watchers again which I LOVE.. I think maybe Ill do that instead of MWLC cuz even tho you lose WAY more weight WAY faster, Weight Watchers is for life. I wanna lose this weight forever, not just for an event, etc.. *sigh*.. OKay Im gonna call now and buy a bulk of meetings (12 weeks). Knowing that I already paid for them should make me stick w/ it even more.. especially knowing that this plan has worked for me before, etc. So I guess thats my Plan of Action, not MWLC. Ill dedicate myself to 12 weeks and then after that Ill see if it worked for me. Here we go.. Good bye $133, LOL! But Id rather spend it here than newhere else right now. Lets go, Kels... Lets go.

 

[hyperRealGurl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kels823 Wednesday, August 30, 2006 Positives Cant think of ne right now Negatives Keep falling off my eating plan Plan of Action Think about Medical Weight Loss Clinic Personal Notes Im very frustrated w/ myself.. its like Ill do good for a day. Then the next day Im back to eating stupid and ordering Thai food (and not the healthy Thai food either), etc.. Its like I dont stay motivated for very long. But I hate the way I look.. you would think thats motivation enuf. I was thinking about doing Medical Weight Loss Clinic.. I went for a consultation before and it sounded okay but I felt like a punk, like I wasnt doing it on my own. But now I just dont think I can do it on my own.. Then I thought about going to Weight Watchers again which I LOVE.. I think maybe Ill do that instead of MWLC cuz even tho you lose WAY more weight WAY faster, Weight Watchers is for life. I wanna lose this weight forever, not just for an event, etc.. *sigh*.. OKay Im gonna call now and buy a bulk of meetings (12 weeks). Knowing that I already paid for them should make me stick w/ it even more.. especially knowing that this plan has worked for me before, etc. So I guess thats my Plan of Action, not MWLC. Ill dedicate myself to 12 weeks and then after that Ill see if it worked for me. Here we go.. Good bye $133, LOL! But Id rather spend it here than newhere else right now. Lets go, Kels... Lets go.

Mama keep ur head up... i know u can do this b/c we gurls here have faith in u.... Keep in mind that even so looking into a medical weight loss plan that its about "lifestyle changes" overall. I have seen weight watchers work on my aunt.. but at the same time i have also seen it fail on her after she quit. So its all about the up keep.. even if u dont plan on buying any more of the meal plans try to stick to the meal plan on ur own terms. everyone goes through muchies/cravings or whatever u want to call it.. I know i do at times... but once u take the steps on making this eating/ and fitness style a permenate part of ur lifestyle is only good things can come out of it. I wish u luck and remeber we are all here for u to give u that extra push because we all need it sometimes. ***hugs**

 

[Kels823]

Thx SO MUCH HRG.. I went ahead and signed up for WW. Its only 12 weeks and I know that it works for me.. I just have to find the motivation to DO it, to stick to it. I dont want to restrict myself too much but I want to learn self control/discipline. I have always had a prob w/ that. Plus, becuz of my childhood, I kinda hoarde food.. Do I really need 7 boxes of cereal? 2 packages of waffles? Its just me.. what do I need all this food for? I dunno.. but uh NEWAY, thanks again. I SO appreciate your input..

*hugz*

 

[Kels823]

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006

Positives
Joined Weight Watchers, first meeting is tonite. Played tennis w/ SO last nite, plus wrestled (which I consider exercise cuz the man is a beast..)

Negatives
Didnt do well this weekend as far as eating.. TOM started today so Im feeling sorta blah.. not looking forward to stepping on the scale tonite.

Plan of Action
Stick closely to the WW plan but be realistic @ the same time. Start getting up earlier in the morning for exercise OR stop letting distractions keep me from working out in the evening.

Personal Notes
*sigh* Had a bad weekend.. I feel so out of shape. I know I played well in tennis even tho I lost.. but I still dont feel 100%. And the thing is, its not necessarily my physical issues.. its my mental/emotional issues. I feel so self concious of my body so I dont like to run as fast cuz of the unsightly jiggle.. I know SO doesnt care but I do. I just dont feel comfortable w/ my body. Even when we wrestled I didnt give it 100% cuz I was afraid something was gonna pop out.. I dunno. I dont like restraining myself like this cuz Im not being the real Kels, which aint kewl. Sooo I plan on sticking closely w/ WW until I feel comfy enuf to make minor adjustments. But Im going to listen to my body more than nething.. and not just 'If Im hungry, eat.' More like 'If Im hungry, ascertain if Im really hungry or just frustrated. Then make a decision.' It all looks good on paper.. lets see if I can actually DO it..

 

[Kels823]

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

Positives
Been eating good since Tuesday nite (wow, a whole day and a half LOL)

Negatives
Fell off and had a donut last nite out of frustration and anger, still feel fat, super frustrated

Plan of Action
Continue eating Core, incorporate more exercise, hit up the climbing wall this weekend, try to stay positive, be patient w/ myself

Personal Notes
Super frustrated today.. I feel like I should be skinny!! LOL which is horrible.. I just hate feeling like this. I know Im doing the right things now and Im making big changes re: my eating habits. So I have to be patient w/ myself and realize that its a relatively slow process. Plus Im trying to change my life, not just lose weight. Thats one of the benefits of eating healthier. True, I DO want to lose weight.. but more than nething I want to be HEALTHY.. I feel so unhealthy.. I feel the fat flowing thru my arteries.. well not literally but figuratively.. neway, gonna try to have a good, positive day and stop being so hard on myself. Just do it. (swoosh..)

 

[islandblossom]

you're doing great plus a little donut isn't going to hurt that much. keep it up!

 

[Kels823]

Friday, September 8th, 2006

Positives
Have been eating GREAT, worked out last nite, feeling pretty good

Negatives
Worried about the weekend, thats when I tend to do most of my eating.

Plan of Action
Be prepared the entire weekend, make concious decisions (instead of just eating cuz its there), workout at least once (hopefully the climbing wall tomorrow @ WSU), up water intake

Personal Notes
Just having a decent day.. did Taebo last nite (Billy Blanks will work you OUT!), feel super duper! My booty and abs are sore but I kinda like that feeling.. not OVERLY sore to the point where I dont wanna move, but sore enuf where I know I worked it out. Going over my sisters house tonite to watch movies (we havent really hung out since shes been married). She knows Im on WW so shes prepping healthy stuff.. Thx sis! Going to a BBQ on Sunday (last official one of the season).. Gonna eat before I get there so I wont be tempted to indulge. I think all this healthy eating makes me poop more!! Which isnt a bad thing. Was thinking about taking some Reneu this weekend neway to get a really good cleaning but we will see. Need to increase water, still drinking 2.2 liters a day but I think I need more. Just wanna keep my head for the weekend and not get distracted.. during the week its a bit easier cuz its more structured. But the weekend is hard becuz it kinda just flows, no real organization most times. So thats my challenge. I think I got it on lock.. we will see..

 

[Julie]

Sounds look you're doing really good! I've always wanted to try those TaeBo tapes but they kinda intimitate me.

 

[Kels823]

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006

Positives
Lost 4lbs baby!!!!!!

Negatives
Still can tighten it up in a few areas. Not getting enuf physical activities.

Plan of Action
Plan better for this week. Get more veggies in the house. Find more ways to be active.

Personal Notes
Im just very proud of myself and happy. I wanna enjoy tonite (bought a new body scrub, no food rewards!!) and get prepared for the week. I feel very victorious but I dont want to lose focus/control.. Im in this for the long haul. Good Job, Kels.. lets go baby..

 

[Julie]

Congrats! That's awesome

 

[Kels823]

OT PERSONAL NOTE:

Eff the world. Im cutting my hair. I get SO SICK of people (specific people) telling me not to cut it, etc. KELS = SHORT HAIR!! And its HAIR!! Im not having major surgery!! Im not shaving my head bald!! ITS JUST A HAIR CUT!! Leave me alone!!!! Gah!!!!!!!

Okay, Im done now..

 

[Kels823]

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Positives
Ready to get back in the game

Negatives
Been off for a week

Plan of Action
Go Grocery shopping tonite, get some recipes, go for a walk l8r

Personal Notes
I didnt update last week, but I lost an additional 4lbs, making it a total of 8lbs altogether. However...

Been dealing w/ alot of emotional turmoil this past week.. and wound up binging about 3-4 times. I dont wanna hit the scale tonite but I know I need to be held accountable for my actions.. I think Im gonna ask the lady not to tell me what Ive gained aloud, just to write it down. Then maybe tomorrow Ill look @ the number. Very frustrated w/ myself.. I feel like Im starting all over again and its only been 3 weeks. TOM may be close (maybe this weekend) so that may have something to do w/ it. But I dont wanna justify my actions.. I want to CHANGE them..

Then the other issue is that I cant shake this bloated feeling in my stomach. Im sure that its partly due to the fact that I have been eating stupidly. Its annoying cuz my stomach is about twice its normal size and it hurts.. makes me feel even worse about how Ive eaten this week...

Just super frustrated and disappointed w/ myself. Plan on starting over and just eating purely Core.

 

[Kels823]

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Positives
Down 11lbs, making a lot of good changes in my life, much more aware of my problem, clothes are getting baggy (heehee!)

Negatives
Still have an urge to binge, still feel like I could step up my exercise

Plan of Action
Add exercise to my planner like every other appt (hair, nail, brow, etc). Address whats giving me the urge to binge (emotional issues, NEVER hunger). Cultivate more self confidence.

Personal Notes
I havent updated in a while.. I need to get back on that cuz updating keeps me more aware of the changes Im going thru. Ive been having an okay past couple weeks. I am proud of myself but my self confidence still needs work. Hitting the gym after WW mtg tonite, very hyped about that. I love working out to DEATH! But once I stop... getting started is a mutha! So I just gotta make it a regular part of my life, a regular thing that I do. Lets go baby..

 

[Kels823]

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Positives
Down 26lbs, feeling alot better about myself, more in control of my eating habits, more aware of what my body requires in order to function

Negatives
Always room for improvement, trying to change my mindgame a bit more, still working on my weekend eating, gaining control of my emotional eating, self confidence still a struggle

Plan of Action
Continue on my path (my goal is about maybe 10 more lbs, we'll see), continue believe in myself that I am uniquely beautiful in my own right, stop comparing myself with everyone, keep tackling more physical challenges, begin my outdoor activies (tennis, biking, walking/running, blading)

Personal Notes
Yeesh, havent updated in a min!! Just reread the entire thing and wow, Ive come a long way. Really didnt even realize how bad I had gotten. I remember each of those entries as points in my life - where I was, what I was doing, who I was hanging with, how I was feeling, etc. And I was so sad...... I still have such a long way to go emotionally, I have alot of healing to do. But it makes my heart glad to know that Im moving forwar in alot of ways instead of backwards. I still need to work on acknowledging my strengths and my beauty and my worth. Still need to work on allowing myself to be my confidence instead of others (my 'wingman'). But at least Im aware of my weaknesses, right? Newho. I hope to get back to updating regularly, at least once a week if not more. Gotta keep fighting....

 

[meiming]

Hi Kels,

I just came across your journal today. I was wondering how you've been doing since your last post. I have to say, its gutsy but I can see how that would want to keep you accountable. I'm considering doing the same for myself, but then again, scared if I plaster my goal on the internet and end up giving up or not getting anywhere...

Hope you are keeping up the great lifestyle! I'm proud of you whatever you accomplished

 

[blindpassion]

Let us know how you're doing -- I'm on a weight loss plan right now, drinking 6 bottles of water a day, working out for atleast an hour everyday, if my muscles hurt too much then I just go for a powerwalk instead of a run or bike. I stopped eating meat and chicken, only fish. I cut down on my sugar and only eat maybe 1% of sugar that I used to, I don't eat out at all anymore... only prepair my own meals, and eat a lot of fruits and vegies.
Good luck with your weight loss!

 

[glam8babe]

i just wanna say how strong you are for posting how you eat and stuff on here. I couldnt do it lol.. im on a diet everyday well im trying to lose abit of weight and tone up. last year i lost 3 stone [not sure how many pounds that is but its ALOT!] and i did that by eating more slowly, not eating when im bored, eating anything i want as long as i eat healthy stuff too in that day like a lil salad with some chicken or w/e, i still ate chocolate but only until i was full. I drank water all the time NOTHING else... i had fast food like once every fortnight and i did workouts at home and i lost all that weight because i was sick of being the fat girl in school.
So if i can do it then so can you... you just have to stick to it and it seems like you can.

well done

 

[Kels823]

Ahhhh you guys!!!!!!!

I forgot all about this journal!!! Thank you SOOOOOO much for bumping it back up!

Okay well update since April - I've lost a total of 30lbs.

Right now I'm struggling with maintaining my weight. I don't think I want to lose anymore but I want to maintain where I am.

It is difficult at times...... especially social events and with friends who are used to me eating. But I know what I want. I know where I want to be. I know how I want to feel. THAT is more important to me than any social event or hungry friend. LOL!

I wish I had before and after pics but I surely don't..

All my pics from this time period (April 07) got deleted off my machine... so I have no way to prove this to you all, lol!

Newho please feel free to ask me ANY questions at all... I subscribe to this thread so I'll def see it.

I hope everyone who is trying to get healthier has a great experience! Remember: If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse.

 

[blindpassion]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kels823 Ahhhh you guys!!!!!!! I forgot all about this journal!!! Thank you SOOOOOO much for bumping it back up! Okay well update since April - I've lost a total of 30lbs. Right now I'm struggling with maintaining my weight. I don't think I want to lose anymore but I want to maintain where I am. It is difficult at times...... especially social events and with friends who are used to me eating. But I know what I want. I know where I want to be. I know how I want to feel. THAT is more important to me than any social event or hungry friend. LOL! I wish I had before and after pics but I surely don't.. All my pics from this time period (April 07) got deleted off my machine... so I have no way to prove this to you all, lol! Newho please feel free to ask me ANY questions at all... I subscribe to this thread so I'll def see it. I hope everyone who is trying to get healthier has a great experience! Remember: If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse.

Awee wow thats so great to hear! Congrats on that, its a hard thing to do and you definitely accomplished it. Its a great feeling being healthy, it really is.

keep it up girl! dont quit. we can motivate each other to stay in shape.