You'd be mad too, right?

[*Stargazer*]

I would tell him to take the job since he obviously wants it, but I'd also walk. I cannot be in a healthy relationship with someone that I don't see on a pretty regular basis. It's ok if DH when gone for a long period of time (he's military) because we have an end date. But if he was going to take a job that he would hold indefinitely where he was gone two-thirds of the year, we'd never have gotten serious.

It's not wrong of you to not want to be in that kind of relationship ever, nor is it wrong for him to want to take that job. The problem is stating your preference without coming off like you are being petty and giving an ultimatum. It's really hard to say "Go ahead and take it, but that means that we are no longer a couple" without coming off badly unfortunately.

Best of luck!

 

[SkylarV217]

Honey I know it sucks and I wouldn't want him to go either but This is an amazing opportunity. Not to mention an opportunity he already gave up for you once. My DH is training to go into the Military... Not just gone all the time for 4 years but in harms way every day. That's not something I want and it's something We've negotiated , argued and all sorts about. In the end he kept coming back to it and I couldn't stand between him and something he wants so much. Our agreement is that after his first 4 years come up if I don't like it , he will stop.

Your man loves you or he wouldn't have given up the opportunity to begin with, While your ex husband hurt you and was wrong in the things that he did. You can't make your man pay for what your ex did. Thats not fair to him. If you love him you want him to be happy, and as much as it sucks you have to be a bigger person. If you had such an amazing opportunity you would expect him to support you. While you will be alone a lot , that means you will have time to pick up hobbies and catch up with friends. Being alone is not always a bad thing. It sucks but as women we are to be supportive of our men. He needs you to be supportive of him and more than likely if you are not he will end up resenting you for it and you don't want that !

I hope it all work out for you

 

[M.A.C. head.]

There is selfishness on both parts.

If I were in your situation I would tell him to choose what's most important to him. This is one of those "you can't have your cake and eat it too" situations IMO You obviously have your reasons why this doesn't sit well with you. If he wants to stay with his current job great, if he chooses to travel, then the decision is YOURS as to whether or not the relationship continues.

Good luck.

 

[kimmy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Then it sounds like you have a decision to make. If he wants to take the job, and it sounds like he does, you'll either have to live with it or not. If you can't live with it, you'll have to move on. If you can...then perhaps it'll actually do the relationship some good.

i agree 100% with jamie on this.