Your Thoughts on Hazing.

[lyttleravyn]

I'm in a professional greek organization (technically a fraternity, but we're coed) and we didn't do any hazing whatsoever while pledging. I mean, there were high expectations of us during the process, but nothing illegal or degrading. Although, in my organization we almost 'poke fun' at hazing and after you are admitted, there are voluntary mini-initiations that you can go through. Usually you hear stories about them (nothing takes more than 15-20minutes) and then seek them out on your own, no one is ever pressured to do anything they don't want to do. For us, it was just stupid fun. I read a book called "Pledged: the Secret Life of Sororities" by Alexandra Robbins, and I must say I was appalled at what some girls will do to each other. What I got out of that book and my personal experiences knowing girls in sororities was that the whole point of hazing is to strip you down and then build you back up again (basically taking away your individuality and then creating a solid group with group mentality). But honestly, you aren't forced to do anything you don't want to and it almost sounds like you've made up your mind. If you aren't happy with it and aren't getting out of it what you had originally thought then it isn't the organization for you.

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg I think you hit the nail on the head darkishstar. Even if sororities/frats were a big deal on my campus (which they aren't at all), I wouldn't join one. Not my thing, end of story.

^^^^

Word. I have never seen the point of them, though the Delta boys in "Animal House" made it look fun.

I think I read an article or saw a programme somewhere about how the popularity of "Animal House" was responsible for a sudden surge of sororities/fraternities at universities in America at a time when they were dying out.

 

[florabundance]

I find the entire idea of "hazing" from its conception to its action, really weird - like something that should be studied or pyschoanalysed. Degrading and humiliating people as a measure of their commitment?? wtf.

 

[AliVix1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkishstar No, see the thing is, I understand that. I know it is meant to make you closer with your pledge class, you "unite" against your common enemy, the actives because you end up hating them. What I find wrong about this is... aren't you supposed to be close with ALL the sisters in your sorority? Shouldn't there not be 4 separate factions within the sisterhood because they hate the previous class? Shouldn't we all unite for a common goal/love, and that is for sisterhood? It's disturbing that some of my pledge sisters can't wait to cross so they can do this to the next pledge class. See, they don't want to cross for the SISTERHOOD, they want to cross so that the work is over, they can get at the next class. That's not sisterhood, that's just wanting to haze then, just to haze because you got hazed, not to make sisterhood. Cleaning I can take, the attitude fine (they're bad actors anyways), learning all that stuff is fine. Am I so strange to think there is something wrong with that?

i get what ur saying but i think its supposed to be something like the army like causing quick bonding... in the end it i feel it actually just ends up being funny memories you have with ur pledge class and even the rest of the sorority.. but it can go really terribly wrong so i guess what im saying is that in moderation i dont have a problem with it.. but i can understand why others would

 

[MissAlexisDDD]

Ack, I know this is old but I felt like adding my input. I'm a member of a sorority and we have an anti hazing policy. I was not hazed, nor were the girls in my pledge class, the class before us, the class before them, and the class that came in this year.

Nor have any of my friends (and 99.9% of my friends in Greek) been hazed.

 

[miss sha]

My freshman year, my roommate pledged and it put me off joining a sorority FOREVER. She hated it, and she tried to quit several times but the girls all dragged her back in. She eventually crossed and AFAIK she loves it now, but she was miserable turning the process and her grades suffered because of what they put her through. She wasn't supposed to but she told me everything she did and it was BAD.

Sorry but I'm not going to let anyone treat me the way that she was treated, certainly not someone I'm supposed to call my friend afterwards, never-freakin-mind calling them my sister.

There is a sorority at my school that is anti-hazing though, where all they do is make you memorize the trees and whatnot. I've actually heard someone who was in a sorority where they were hazed badmouth this other sorority because they "anybody can be a sister" and "they don't have to work for it." Just wooooow.

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

i think people who are willing to go through intense hazing knowingly is a cry of desperation. what sorority/frat is that crazy good where you are willing to put yourself through all that? i've heard so many f-ing crazy stories about the hazing process at my school. makes me kinda sick.

 

[user79]

Why would anyone want to join a sorority or fraternity in the first place? The concept seems alien to me. In university, there's other, more meaningful ways to meet people and make friends - join a sports team, take an extra curricular class, join a club, go on school organized trips, talk to people in your res, etc. Why would you want to degrade yourself in that way, and not just the hazing, but being told what you can and can't do? University to me was all about growing up, sororities just seemed like high school cliques for adults. I remember when I was a freshman at uni I was invited to pledge for a sorority by 2 girls - I laughed in their faces and walked away.

 

[paperfishies]

Sororities and fraternities are pretty much set up for people who don't want to actually grow up. Cliques for adults. It's like a continuation of high school. I find them super demeaning. Why can't people be individuals? Why do people feel the need to identify themselves with an entire group of people instead of being a unique individual? I had friends in sororities and frats and they were (some still are) ridiculous. As for hazing, I think if someone is stupid enough, pathetic enough and feels the need to be part of some shallow group so bad to actual allow themselves to be hazed, then so be it, that's their choice and they should be allowed to make it as long as that choice ONLY involves their self.

HOWEVER, I think universities need to crack down on any and all clubs that practice hazing because hazing rituals being performed, sets a university up for big, fat law suits. When a University is paying out lawsuits for someones dumb kid that couldn't say no, that is less money going to their research departments who do a lot of good, less money going to scholarships, less money going to revamp dorms that really need it, etc.

Side note* One of the hazings a friend of mine went through included her standing in a room of sorority "sisters" in a string bikini while they took permanent markers and marked all the things wrong with her body DIRECTLY on her body. One of the other hazings had something to do with becoming an older sorority sisters slave for a week. Basically you had to do whatever she told you to do. WTF?? She actually believed these girls cared about her. It blew my mind. I lost all kinds of respect for her because of this and couldn't even take her seriously after this.

Why would someone want a better bond with someone because of hardships you both put yourself through willingly? That's ridiculous, lol. I want to find a common bond with someone because we are both interested in science, we are both atheist, we both like the same type of movie, we both have similar world views. Not because I allowed myself to be treated disrespectfully by some upperclassman sorority sister on a power trip.

 

[kabuki_KILLER]

When I was a sophomore in college, my room mate told me she tried to pledge for a sorority in the past year and they put her through rigorous physical tasks. She was a big girl, but she was physically strong and she was always one to really want social approval. She had to give up in the end because it was too much for her. She was very determined to be socially accepted and I could tell my time with her that it was something very important to her, unlike with me. It made her feel like she had failed socially because the sorority girls didn't talk to her anymore.

So my take on it is that hazing isn't always the answer and there are varying degrees of it. People shouldn't do what makes them uncomfortable. There are other ways to make friends if that's really all you want, acceptance.

 

[ForgetRegret]

Quote:

Originally Posted by paperfishies As for hazing, I think if someone is stupid enough, pathetic enough and feels the need to be part of some shallow group so bad to actual allow themselves to be hazed, then so be it, that's their choice and they should be allowed to make it as long as that choice ONLY involves their self.

I don't think it's right to call people stupid and pathetic for putting up with intense hazing. It may be alien to you, but there are plenty of people who put up with it because they just desperately want to be accepted. The kids who never had any friends in school, who were made fun of because they were different...are they stupid and pathetic because they think they found a group of people who will accept them if they just put up with a little bit of bullsh*t first? Going by your idea, I must be stupid and pathetic, as well as the rest of the US military...because let's be honest, boot camp is nothing but a couple of months of hazing...and then if you want to be special forces (the SEALs come to mind...), it's even more hazing. Granted, none of it is designed to physically harm you, but break you down mentally? Hell yeah.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I think it's right that some fraternities and sororities haze their pledges to such extremes. On the contrary, I think those organizations should be shut down and banned...but to make such an accusation about the people who put up with hazing isn't much better.

The hazing I've seen and experienced (the military does have a no hazing policy, but of course it happens to a degree) has never been to hurt a person or make them feel like crap about themselves, but ends up giving a sense of camaraderie and accomplishment when it's all said and done. Innocent things like having your crow tacked on (my arm still hurts thinking about it LOL), or becoming a Shellback are Navy tradition, and while it may fall under the category of hazing, it's meant to be lighthearted and fun. I'm not saying extreme cases don't happen in the military, I'm sure they do, just like they happen in the civilian world, but by and large most of it is fairly innocent.

Long story short: I don't have a problem with mild hazing, as long as it's done out of fun, and to create a bond between people, NOT being done out of spite. If you're pledging to a sorority or fraternity and start to feel uncomfortable with anything that you're experiencing, find someone you think you can trust and let them know about it (within the organization, I mean)...if nothing gets done, or you don't want to talk to someone there, bring it up to the school. If it's THAT bad, though, just get out...better to leave with your self-respect and a group of people possibly hating you than to stay and potentially cause yourself physical or mental harm.
*steps off soapbox*

 

[paperfishies]

The military serves a purpose and actually gives back to their people. Paying for college, paying for your time, traveling the world and the military keeps the country safe. Sororities/frats don't don any of that, they are social clubs, nothing more, nothing less.

 

[hello_my_apple]

my hazing expreince was well worth it. you have so many sisters that have great connections and it really benefits you. besides you really arent supposed to "say" if hazing is done, you should actually deny it if asked.

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple my hazing expreince was well worth it. you have so many sisters that have great connections and it really benefits you. besides you really arent supposed to "say" if hazing is done, you should actually deny it if asked.

why do they make you deny it? is it cuz the sorority/frat will get into trouble if the uni finds out about it?

 

[hello_my_apple]

Quote:

Originally Posted by L1LMAMAJ why do they make you deny it? is it cuz the sorority/frat will get into trouble if the uni finds out about it?

Yea, you can get introuble with the UNI. kicked out. it can get REALLY bad.

 

[MAC_is_Crack]

Hazing is an excuse for bullies to be bullies. I can't stand it. I've never been part of a sorority, but hazing gives them a bad name, unfortunately. I know there are honorable sororities/fraternities, but hazing gives them bad press that just sticks with me.