Resolution "LOW-BUY" 2014! Who wants to play?

[veronikawithak]

lol.. I just got back and ran like Forrest Gump. It takes the immediate stress away and I concentrate on other things. like right now, a glass of wine.. lol.

oh good grief on that BC trophy husband.. eek. This would not really be a trophy husband as he is an MD, but I would have to give up my late husband's pension which is quite nice and what if this new deal/marriage goes belly up, I know we would both insist on pre-nups.. oh geeze. It's a lose lose situation. oy. I just realized as I write this: I am not into marriage anymore either. Been there, done that -- terrified of burying a husband. No good. No mo.
as for vaginal viagra.. I guess I meant up theirs..

Love it! Haha yes, hilarious story but terrifying at points. Sugar mama for sure. My man and I would like to get married but we still want to retain financial independence. My mother didn't work after marriage so she could never leave and my father would have lost half his worth so he couldn't either. They were miserable until the end when he passed away and left her with a run-down house and a small estate tied up in a failing business. She never knew how bad the finances were until he was gone. I've learned from her mistake and always want to have options, just in case that "what if" turns into reality.

And here I thought you just had a MUCH more thorough grasp on the male anatomy as me.

 

[vaisforluvrs]

It's so interesting to me how much I feel in the minority nowadays. I'd say the majority of my friends and (younger) co-workers don't want children. Sometimes I think I'm the only one that does! So, instead of buying more lipsticks and polishes, I really need to save more money so that I can actually afford a kid or two. I save some every month but not nearly what I probably need to have a family. I think that's what has been keeping me in check the past month, reminding me that I need to keep my priorities in my right place if I want to make this happen soon.

 

[veronikawithak]

It's so interesting to me how much I feel in the minority nowadays. I'd say the majority of my friends and (younger) co-workers don't want children. Sometimes I think I'm the only one that does! So, instead of buying more lipsticks and polishes, I really need to save more money so that I can actually afford a kid or two. I save some every month but not nearly what I probably need to have a family. I think that's what has been keeping me in check the past month, reminding me that I need to keep my priorities in my right place if I want to make this happen soon.

You're not alone! Most of the women I went to high school with already have anywhere from 1-3 children or are planning to in the near future. That's such an awesome motivator for your goals! Fulfilling your dream of starting a family (or whatever dreams for yourself that you have) is much more important than any material possession. I hope you get to where you want very soon!

 

[User38]

Love it! Haha yes, hilarious story but terrifying at points. Sugar mama for sure. My man and I would like to get married but we still want to retain financial independence. My mother didn't work after marriage so she could never leave and my father would have lost half his worth so he couldn't either. They were miserable until the end when he passed away and left her with a run-down house and a small estate tied up in a failing business. She never knew how bad the finances were until he was gone. I've learned from her mistake and always want to have options, just in case that "what if" turns into reality.

And here I thought you just had a MUCH more thorough grasp on the male anatomy as me.

LOLLOL

I could tell lots of tales, but it would be downright... unladylike of me

I think I don't want to get married for the right reasons now.. I really want to enjoy my freedom which is something I have not been able to do my whole life. I have worked very hard, and dealt with family situations of health, and finances. I paid for my sister's treatment which ran over 200K out of pocket after insurance. So I hear you loud and clear on financial independence.

and sadly, from many friend's experiences, the what if's usually turn up as realities.

 

[User38]

It's so interesting to me how much I feel in the minority nowadays. I'd say the majority of my friends and (younger) co-workers don't want children. Sometimes I think I'm the only one that does! So, instead of buying more lipsticks and polishes, I really need to save more money so that I can actually afford a kid or two. I save some every month but not nearly what I probably need to have a family. I think that's what has been keeping me in check the past month, reminding me that I need to keep my priorities in my right place if I want to make this happen soon.

I don't know if you are in the minority.. but let's say the playing field is more equal for the women who don't want to procreate. You are lucky that you know what you want -- and I am sure you will be able to have and love a wonderful family.

lipsticks and polishes are nice but don't compare to the love of another human being -- that is a certainty. So hang on to your goals and keep your priorities .. you will reach your goals.

 

[veronikawithak]

LOLLOL
I could tell lots of tales, but it would be downright... unladylike of me

I think I don't want to get married for the right reasons now.. I really want to enjoy my freedom which is something I have not been able to do my whole life. I have worked very hard, and dealt with family situations of health, and finances. I paid for my sister's treatment which ran over 200K out of pocket after insurance. So I hear you loud and clear on financial independence.

and sadly, from many friend's experiences, the what if's usually turn up as realities.

I wish I could sit down with a bottle of wine or 5 and listen to all of your stories HerGreyness.. Unladylike ones are my personal favorites anyway!

You're so right to want to enjoy your freedom as well as your time with B.. and you deserve it! Most of my family has serious health issues and I know the toll it can take.You've been through so much, but you have one of the best outlooks on life of anyone I've "met".

 

[User38]

I wish I could sit down with a bottle of wine or 5 and listen to all of your stories HerGreyness.. Unladylike ones are my personal favorites anyway!

You're so right to want to enjoy your freedom as well as your time with B.. and you deserve it! Most of my family has serious health issues and I know the toll it can take.You've been through so much, but you have one of the best outlooks on life of anyone I've "met".

Someday, I will make it back up to Canada.. and we can have a lovely unladylike chat -- with a few good bottles of wine. I had a Canuck bf once, and he taught me how to play Crib.. he thought I could never learn it as I am latina, and he honestly thought I was not paying attention -- until i beat him a few times. He got so mad he refused to speak to me.


life never ceases to amaze me, every day and every minute is a ride and a leap of faith for me.

 

[CrimsonQuill157]

Welcome!! You are in the right place! Do you know what triggered your purchases or what your weak spot is (mines blush and feelin low, sure fire reason for a make up haul!)

My weak spot makeup-wise is usually lipstick, but I've lately discovered that I am capable of applying eyeliner and not looking like a five year old so I just bought a ridiculous amount of eyeliner. Also, I'm extremely depressed and stressed and dealing with a recent ADHD diagnosis in college (which, apparently, people with ADHD are more likely to go through money quickly so there's that) and an anxiety disorder, and you've got a recipe for disaster here LOL!!!

 

[vaisforluvrs]

My weak spot makeup-wise is usually lipstick, but I've lately discovered that I am capable of applying eyeliner and not looking like a five year old so I just bought a ridiculous amount of eyeliner. Also, I'm extremely depressed and stressed and dealing with a recent ADHD diagnosis in college (which, apparently, people with ADHD are more likely to go through money quickly so there's that) and an anxiety disorder, and you've got a recipe for disaster here LOL!!!

Sorry to hear that. I know I've often went online shopping when I've been depressed or stressed. Maybe you could find another outlet that makes you equally happy. Reading, drawing, taking a long walk. I find it helps to fill that time with something constructive so that you aren't focusing on spending money.

 

[User38]

My weak spot makeup-wise is usually lipstick, but I've lately discovered that I am capable of applying eyeliner and not looking like a five year old so I just bought a ridiculous amount of eyeliner. Also, I'm extremely depressed and stressed and dealing with a recent ADHD diagnosis in college (which, apparently, people with ADHD are more likely to go through money quickly so there's that) and an anxiety disorder, and you've got a recipe for disaster here LOL!!!

No my dear.. Disaster is when there is no hope or remedy. Think on this: you know what you have and have been given a presumably accurate diagnosis. Are you taking meds? There are great meds for these disorders and you have to make sure you take them.

Remember too, they cost money, so at this point it might be appropriate to ask yourself if you want to feel good about yourself and your health, or do you want to have a lot of lipsticks/eyeliners. I would vote on health.. always.

let us know how you are doing

 

[CrimsonQuill157]

Sorry to hear that. I know I've often went online shopping when I've been depressed or stressed. Maybe you could find another outlet that makes you equally happy. Reading, drawing, taking a long walk. I find it helps to fill that time with something constructive so that you aren't focusing on spending money.

I love to read, but I just haven't been able to get into it lately. My roommate and I have been watching Game of Thrones and I really want to start reading the books and I just can't get motivated. Maybe I need to just force myself to start reading hahaha.

 

[CrimsonQuill157]

No my dear.. Disaster is when there is no hope or remedy. Think on this: you know what you have and have been given a presumably accurate diagnosis. Are you taking meds? There are great meds for these disorders and you have to make sure you take them.

Remember too, they cost money, so at this point it might be appropriate to ask yourself if you want to feel good about yourself and your health, or do you want to have a lot of lipsticks/eyeliners. I would vote on health.. always.

let us know how you are doing

I haven't started medications yet. I'm in a research program and the group sessions are really helpful. I keep telling myself I need to make an appointment and I forget, tell myself "I'll do it tomorrow..."

Thank you!

 

[Lipstickwh0re]

I just placed an order on Nordies for Hover. I plan to use it with the tube of Double Shot I got a while ago. The SA I spoke with wasn't too helpful but I feel like based on swatches the two will go well together.

 

[PixieDancer]

My weak spot makeup-wise is usually lipstick, but I've lately discovered that I am capable of applying eyeliner and not looking like a five year old so I just bought a ridiculous amount of eyeliner. Also, I'm extremely depressed and stressed and dealing with a recent ADHD diagnosis in college (which, apparently, people with ADHD are more likely to go through money quickly so there's that) and an anxiety disorder, and you've got a recipe for disaster here LOL!!!

Just as HerGreyness already touched on... knowing what you're dealing with is the path to figuring out how to live your life in the most effective and healthy way. Now you know what you're dealing with. SO many people struggle with trying to be successfully diagnosed. At least you can work with your doctor and get yourself to a good place. The medical advancements that have been made are amazing! Things will get better for you little by little. Just take the time necessary to take care of YOU! Don't put yourself on the back burner!

 

[IHughes]

Hmm I'm in the opposite situation, I want children and I know my boyfriend does too but I'm almost 6 years older than him so he isn't even thinking about that now, whereas I'm 31 going on 32 and I'm starting to worry. Not sure what to do as I don't want to scare him off but I'm worried as I think most men don't realise there is a real ticking clock. I look and act like I'm 25 but I'm a bit older! Sigh!

 

[Naynadine]

My mother could have been Woody Allen's Zionist castrator had she not been a latina

As to castor oil, it's an old fashioned method of making hair grow -- and it's for both eyebrows and eyelashes as well as scalp. Not sure it works on scalp tho, but it has worked on my eyebrows when I really got into growing them out two years ago. It helped me fill in sparser areas but it did not give me Cara's eyebrows - just a bit thicker and fuller although my hairs are still too light for my liking.

Thank you! I can always count on your advice.

I ordered some. I hope mine grow a little thicker in the middle, they're kinda sparse there, especially my right one. Will try it on my lashes as well.

Quote: Originally Posted by IHughes

Hmm I'm in the opposite situation, I want children and I know my boyfriend does too but I'm almost 6 years older than him so he isn't even thinking about that now, whereas I'm 31 going on 32 and I'm starting to worry. Not sure what to do as I don't want to scare him off but I'm worried as I think most men don't realise there is a real ticking clock. I look and act like I'm 25 but I'm a bit older!
Sigh!

Me too.

I don't think you should worry at your age, you're young, there's still time

 

[Starlight77]

When I said I didn't want children, I was told I wasn't a "real woman", that I was a robot. And that was from a close friend. Horrible feeling. I'm glad to see ladies here understand!

I'm going to have to jump in on this with y'all. I don't want kids either - I have a lot of various reasons. But the looks I receive when I'm asked are just ridiculous-like they are horrified. People look like I just kicked their own child or something. And then, like y'all have already said, people start arguing with me about how I'm going to change my mind etc. When I was in college someone told me I was selfish for not wanting children. That really made me angry. It's quite obnoxious to be honest. I once told someone "I'm more of a dog person." The look on her face was too funny. I also want to add in that telling a significant other you don't want kids is always do awkward for me. Honestly, I probably spit that out too early in the relationship, but I don't want to get attached if he has different views. What's the point?

... And the others posting on this topic... It has to be rough for you ladies. I am a mother of 2. I have a 5 year old son and a newborn daughter. My sister and I talk about it all the time as she doesn't want to get married or have children and my family is so hard on her. I gave our parents 2 grandchildren and one of each, you think they'd be thankful but nope they are constantly on her about it. She lives with her long term boyfriend and they are content where they are in their lives. She loves my children but just doesn't feel it's her purpose in life to have any. I admire her for that as many people are pressured into having kids and the children can feel they are unwanted or the pressures of being a mother and giving everything up for your child when it's not something you really ever wanted. I was born to be a mother. It's what I wanted most in life. I gave up my career to do it but I will return to it one day when they are older. My sister doesn't want to give anything up and they think she's selfish but I don't. I think it's admirable that she doesn't get forced into something she doesn't want just because of society. Some people bring a child into the world unwanted and I believe that child feels it. Although she doesn't want any kids of her own I know she would give her life for mine. I just wish family and friends would back off her more as it has to be annoying. I will defend her until the end of time but it's pointless. Now she just lies and tells people she can't have kids because it seems to be more accepted. It's sad she has to lie but it's the only way for her to get out of lectures.

 

[Starlight77]

Hmm I'm in the opposite situation, I want children and I know my boyfriend does too but I'm almost 6 years older than him so he isn't even thinking about that now, whereas I'm 31 going on 32 and I'm starting to worry. Not sure what to do as I don't want to scare him off but I'm worried as I think most men don't realise there is a real ticking clock. I look and act like I'm 25 but I'm a bit older! Sigh!

At age 39, we just had our 2nd child. I wouldn't worry too much about time. Giving birth at 39 was the same as at 32. They only difference is on how many children you want and how spaced out you'd like them to be. If we want a 3rd we were advised to wait no more than 2-3years (after age 42 is riskier). Just stay relaxed and don't worry about time, tomorrow is a promise to no one, just live life and make each other happy and it will all fall in place

 

[IHughes]

At age 39, we just had our 2nd child. I wouldn't worry too much about time. Giving birth at 39 was the same as at 32. They only difference is on how many children you want and how spaced out you'd like them to be. If we want a 3rd we were advised to wait no more than 2-3years (after age 42 is riskier). Just stay relaxed and don't worry about time, tomorrow is a promise to no one, just live life and make each other happy and it will all fall in place

Thank you! I can always count on your advice. :bouquet:  I ordered some. I hope mine grow a little thicker in the middle, they're kinda sparse there, especially my right one. Will try it on my lashes as well. Me too. :haha: I don't think you should worry at your age, you're young, there's still time

Thanks guys, you make me feel a bit better. It's just a bit worrying as I've been reading and after 30 conception rate falls to 20% in each cycle and then after 35 it falls to 10% and after 40 only 2 in 5 are able to have children. There's also a higher risk of miscarriages and problematic pregnancies. Apparently it's also easier to have more when older if you had at least one before (so it would be easier for you having one at 39 having had one at 32 than having a child if you've never had one). I'm not worried right now exactly but as he's much younger I don't see him even thinking about kids until his thirties, and I'd be 37 at least. I'm the only one of my friends and people I know of my age who hasn't got a child, whereas all his friends are younger and also younger than him, so it's not the sort of thing he's thinking about. I'm not the sort to force things, I like things to arrive naturally but it's a nagging feeling at the back of my mind!! Ugh hormones can do strange things huh?

 

[kanne]

I'm not the sort to force things, I like things to arrive naturally but it's a nagging feeling at the back of my mind!! Ugh hormones can do strange things huh?

That research was done in the 1800s or something, but it still widely quoted. The more recent statistics are much less frightening. Honestly, there is so much scaremongering and pressure on women to have kids and BS spread about the ticking biological clock, it makes me sick. Get the docs to keep an eye on things, but there's no need to rush anything