Resolution "LOW-BUY" 2014! Who wants to play?

[User38]

oh, and he is getting paranoid about someone I dated who travels to Italy a lot -- he is in the wine business. but they did meet once.. oy..

this is what's stuck in his butt

 

[mosha010]

[@]HerGreyness[/@] there you have it. I think he knows he's got a catch and that any man who has ever let you go would be trying to make things happen. And men never trust other men, they know every step of their own actions has a second nature to it. But I think he needs to remember that it's you he should trust. You will be away and is part of your business, you're closing the loops on things that will eventually lead to him having you for more time. He shouldn't be rewarded, but if it helps: make a commitment of face timing with him a few days a week (not to prove anything or to enable his checking on you or controlling your steps) but to show him that he's the one you think about when you're away (we all know it'll be really an affair with Dior Dolce and Prada but we won't say anything ;p

 

[PixieDancer]

good for you.. I always prefer to get mad and not stupid.. lol.

I am pissed majorly big time at Bert..

he knows I leave in a week, and all of a sudden has moment of jealousy.. like, where will you be? who will you be seeing? how come you are staying more than 2 weeks? ...good grief. I am a working woman in charge of my own life. I am not married to him.. maybe never at this point. but I will not be manipulated to feeling bad because I have to travel, and yes, I do have meetings with a lot of men who run businesses too.. argh argh argh.

lol @ darking .. I like it! I feel like letting the air out of his tires..

Awwww me thinks someone is gonna miss you and doesn't know how to express his feelings appropriately! LOL I call this "man-boy syndrome!" He has some right to be a tad jealous... because he's no dumbass.. like Mosha said, he knows what he has and he KNOWS what is in a man's head. I know it's frustrating and feels too immature to deal with, but take a deep breath and then try to respond to him with only caring and loving responses. What he really wants is for you to assure him he's your man and stroke his ego a little. (But do it just a little, not a lot. We don't need him all high and mighty and puffing out his chest too much! HeeHee)
Just a little idea, grab some post cards and drop one in the mail for him every couple of days on your trip. So throughout the time you're gone, he'll know you're thinking of him. And it will remind him what a hot woman he has to be missing!

Now... if he continues this irrational "man-boy" nonsense, tell we will hold him down and shave his eyebrows! HeeHee

Chin up and smile that spunky smile we all know and love! Go get 'em girl!

Quote: Originally Posted by mosha010

@HerGreyness there you have it. I think he knows he's got a catch and that any man who has ever let you go would be trying to make things happen. And men never trust other men, they know every step of their own actions has a second nature to it. But I think he needs to remember that it's you he should trust. You will be away and is part of your business, you're closing the loops on things that will eventually lead to him having you for more time.
He shouldn't be rewarded, but if it helps: make a commitment of face timing with him a few days a week (not to prove anything or to enable his checking on you or controlling your steps) but to show him that he's the one you think about when you're away (we all know it'll be really an affair with Dior Dolce and Prada but we won't say anything ;p

LOVE your responses you firecracker!!

 

[PixieDancer]

"30 Lipsticks in 30 Days"
Updated List:

Day 1: Revlon Lip Butter Peach Parfait
Day 2: Revlon Lip Butter Creme Brûlée
Day 3: RiRi Woo w/ MAC Cherry lip pencil
Day 4: RiRi Heaux w/ MAC Beet lip pencil
Day 5: Snob w/ MAC Hip & Happy lip pencil
Day 6: Viva Glam VI w/ Too Faced Nude lip pencil
Day 7: Revlon Lip Butter Pink Truffle
Day 8: Revlon Lip Butter Red Velvet w/ MAC Dervish lip pencil
Day 9: UD Super-Saturated High Gloss Lip Color Pencil in Glinda
Day 10: Scandelicious Kissable Lipcolour w/ MAC Embrace Me lip pencil
Day 11: Huggable Lip Colour in Rusty
Day 12: Apres Chic w/ MAC Dervish lip pencil
Day 13: Huggable Lip Colour in Out For Passion
Day 14: Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Smitten
Day 15: Speed Dial w/ MAC Dervish Lip pencil (can you tell I LOVE this pencil!? It goes with everything! It's a MLBB pencil for me!)
Day 16: Mehr w/ MAC Soar lip pencil (ALMOST wore Dervish lip pencil again... but forced myself to switch it up!)
Day 17: Snapdragon w/ MAC Hip 'N Happy lip pencil
SKIPPED ANOTHER SPRING CLEANING DAY WITH MY MOM
Day 18: Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Rendezvous

Day 19: Feed The Senses w/ NYX Mauve lip pencil

 

[DarylandCarole]

Already Fab is SUCH A GOOD COLOR!!!!  I also have Auto de Femme, Pinkocrasy, Prize Shine (to DIE for lavender), Technobeet and Metalberry (those two are identical colors, like a bronzey plum tinged rust).  I have 3 of them up for swap/sale but I think I am puling them back out because they are SO GOOD.  I mean just smooth like butter, but lightweight, and with shimmer-frost that is somehow super flattering even on my crinkled lips.  I am impressed, even though they are like...what....8 years old? hah.

I know! I don't understand why they didn't keep them or re promote them. At the time I as pretty broke so I couldn't get as many as you. I B2M'ed one of them, some peach name. I'm glad now that I didn't get rid of the rest, though.

 

[lyseD]

Why are you enraged darking? (Dark lippy darling lol corny but I'm going w it) we have minions around the word that would kick some butt if necessary. Say the word !

good for you.. I always prefer to get mad and not stupid.. lol.

I am pissed majorly big time at Bert..

he knows I leave in a week, and all of a sudden has moment of jealousy.. like, where will you be? who will you be seeing? how come you are staying more than 2 weeks? ...good grief. I am a working woman in charge of my own life. I am not married to him.. maybe never at this point. but I will not be manipulated to feeling bad because I have to travel, and yes, I do have meetings with a lot of men who run businesses too.. argh argh argh.

lol @ darking .. I like it! I feel like letting the air out of his tires..

My husband NEVER gets jealous and sometimes it bugs me. Our pharmacist is always flirting with me, calling to ask silly questions, etc. and he just doesn't care.

 

[liba]

He shouldn't be rewarded, but if it helps: make a commitment of face timing with him a few days a week (not to prove anything or to enable his checking on you or controlling your steps) but to show him that he's the one you think about when you're away (we all know it'll be really an affair with Dior Dolce and Prada but we won't say anything ;p

It's truly confounding to me how men (and women) who are old enough to know better still get themselves all bogged down in jealousy and insecurity. Bert probably knows he doesn't always have enough time for you, HG, and now is flipping out about you being out of town instead of facing his own shortcomings. Very typical.'Still bizarre, though.

I haven't been around really jealous men much, but the one guy I knew who'd behave that way, I would sit him down, insist he look me in the eye and tell him "I'm glad to see how much you really care, sweetie, but you're going to have to take my word for it that you're the man in my life. Just keep your eyes open and you'll see.", then go about my business the way I'd always do. Personally, I wouldn't call someone out of an obligation to alleviate their own insecurities, especially on a busy trip - only because I was thinking of them and wanted to hear their voice. As soon as couples start doing things out of obligation, rather than just for the sheer joy of being with each other, it's a problem.

Old Bert needs a little time to realize that a woman like you doesn't get where you've gotten by being flighty or inconsistent. If the drama in his mind overrides something as obvious as that, you have the right to be as P.O.'ed as you want. Here's to it being a momentary aberration and he snaps out of it pronto!

Meanwhile, Italy called and wants you to come over!

 

[DMcG9]

Sorry if I came in too strong. I guess I just want you to take control. Shit happens but we can decide wether letting it affect you or take charge and make changes.

I agree that there is beauty and joy in simplicity. I think there is sometimes too much emphasis on bucket lists when there is a lot to explore and marvel at in your own daily life, even the mundanity. I have learned this most especially over the last two years. Don't take for granted what you have and the abilities you possess to be happy and do happy things (and you don't need possessions to achieve this). Positivity takes you so much further through the difficult times. I've been through depression and I know what that feels like so I feel deep empathy for those who are going through that circumstance.

 

[lilinah]

I was going to start my 30 lipsticks in 30 days on Monday because we have performances for the next few days and i wear different makeup, but, what the heck...

--=30lipsticks30=--

1: MAC Gareth Pugh Fervent - "glossy blackened berry" - what can i say, it's my kind of color + i got compliments wearing it - KEEPER (but i had NO doubts) (but i also have way too many of this sort of color, so i'm trying not to buy any more)

 

[Glitteryvegas]

Don't sit and wait for life to go through. Fken get out and LIVE!

I think I love you!!!

Such great points here!

I had a very similar thing happen where I went to see a psychiatrist and he said I was bipolar. I got in my car and cried. I was devastated. I refused to be labelled and put into a nice neat little box for everyone's benefit and comfort and I never went back to see him, or fill his prescription of very 'hard' pills. I know sometimes I have depressive tendencies and I'm not denying that depression is a very real and serious medical, emotional, and physical condition. However, I define myself and I control what I do.

I have so much respect for you!

Things have been going a lot better for me recently. Even though my car crapped out last night, my dad is going to fix it for me and that will save me lots of $$. What a wonderful man, so lucky to have him in my life! Sometimes I just could burst from my feelings (in a good way).

 

[Glitteryvegas]

You're gorgeous girl!

 

[Glitteryvegas]

Very beautiful look that you created! Love your beachy hair & pop of colour with the teal - perfect spring/summer look! Congrats on your job too!

 

[Naynadine]

It's truly confounding to me how men (and women) who are old enough to know better still get themselves all bogged down in jealousy and insecurity. Bert probably knows he doesn't always have enough time for you, HG, and now is flipping out about you being out of town instead of facing his own shortcomings. Very typical.'Still bizarre, though.

I haven't been around really jealous men much, but the one guy I knew who'd behave that way, I would sit him down, insist he look me in the eye and tell him "I'm glad to see how much you really care, sweetie, but you're going to have to take my word for it that you're the man in my life. Just keep your eyes open and you'll see.", then go about my business the way I'd always do. Personally, I wouldn't call someone out of an obligation to alleviate their own insecurities, especially on a busy trip - only because I was thinking of them and wanted to hear their voice. As soon as couples start doing things out of obligation, rather than just for the sheer joy of being with each other, it's a problem.

Old Bert needs a little time to realize that a woman like you doesn't get where you've gotten by being flighty or inconsistent. If the drama in his mind overrides something as obvious as that, you have the right to be as P.O.'ed as you want. Here's to it being a momentary aberration and he snaps out of it pronto!

Meanwhile, Italy called and wants you to come over!

I know @HerGreyness won't waste any time on someone who'd try to control her in any way (not saying Bert is doing that) and won't take any nonsense.
No matter how perfectly bushy his brows may be.

 

[Ajigglin]

HG, I was going to weigh in, but Mosha and Pixie have it covered. Guys are big babies, but you don't want to negate his feelings or make him feel stupid for having them. One good talk like Liba suggested should do the trick. Be even more gentle if he's been cheated on before. Oh, and I totally agree with the anger at the shrinks who are quick to label after two seconds of talking to someone. Poor practice. Lazy practice. Less meds, more talking.

 

[User38]

It's truly confounding to me how men (and women) who are old enough to know better still get themselves all bogged down in jealousy and insecurity. Bert probably knows he doesn't always have enough time for you, HG, and now is flipping out about you being out of town instead of facing his own shortcomings. Very typical.'Still bizarre, though.

I haven't been around really jealous men much, but the one guy I knew who'd behave that way, I would sit him down, insist he look me in the eye and tell him "I'm glad to see how much you really care, sweetie, but you're going to have to take my word for it that you're the man in my life. Just keep your eyes open and you'll see.", then go about my business the way I'd always do. Personally, I wouldn't call someone out of an obligation to alleviate their own insecurities, especially on a busy trip - only because I was thinking of them and wanted to hear their voice. As soon as couples start doing things out of obligation, rather than just for the sheer joy of being with each other, it's a problem.

Old Bert needs a little time to realize that a woman like you doesn't get where you've gotten by being flighty or inconsistent. If the drama in his mind overrides something as obvious as that, you have the right to be as P.O.'ed as you want. Here's to it being a momentary aberration and he snaps out of it pronto!

Meanwhile, Italy called and wants you to come over!

So very true Liba -- and what's worse, I did not expect it. Although I should have had a hint from last year -- he got po'd at me (we were not in a relationship then, just friends) and I left for Italy and stayed away for months.. so, I can kinda sorta get his paranoia. I can be too strict with myself sometimes.. and he is very loose and patient oriented.. lol. I have known many jealous men, but did not have any relationship with them. The men I have married have been calm and sweet -- never jealous. This guy is a fireball. LOL. poor me. I am not flirty, yet he is, so I think he is doing some kind of transference .. he thinks I might behave like he has in the past. He just picked me up at the gym and man, my heart just goes thump bump and crash -- he was wearing his blue scrubs and his eyes looked bluer than blue.. he is gorgeous. Lol.. I think I am screwed.. not figuratively either. HA. We will have drinks later and a light dinner as he has to be in OR by 7 am.. but we do need to talk this out. Thank you so much for the advice -- as you know, I really treasure it!

 

[User38]

Oh, and I totally agree with the anger at the shrinks who are quick to label after two seconds of talking to someone. Poor practice. Lazy practice. Less meds, more talking.

Thanks @Ajigglin ! I totally agree. And I know his first wife cheated on him.. and maybe his second one too. In his profession it's not unusual because of the wacky hours and longer than long days they keep. I think we will talk tonight and work this out.. or else. lol.

 

[veronikawithak]

@HerGreyness, I agree with @PixieDancer. Boys will be boys.. and MEN will ALSO be boys.

Mine had serious abandonment issues. Took a while for him to be comfortable that I wasn't a cheater or a flight risk. I'm still gradually lengthening the leash.. but I don't mind, he's worth it! The key is consistency and the encouragement of open/honest communication. Hope your talk goes well!

 

[User38]

@HerGreyness, I agree with @PixieDancer. Boys will be boys.. and MEN will ALSO be boys.

Mine had serious abandonment issues. Took a while for him to be comfortable that I wasn't a cheater or a flight risk. I'm still gradually lengthening the leash.. but I don't mind, he's worth it! The key is consistency and the encouragement of open/honest communication. Hope your talk goes well!

lol @ flight risk. I did flee last year, so maybe his abandonment issues took over his good sense..

thank you very much @veronikawithak

 

[MadTheologian]

Hey all, 'haven't been posting much the past few days - just trying to take care of my health. It looks like it's going to be time for the prescription meds and getting adjusted to the possibility I still will eventually have to go through with surgery. It's very disturbing, because there is absolutely no way to know for sure my quality of life will be improved if I take the gall bladder out. The only guarantee is I wouldn't have the risk of a greater health problem if it's removed, not that I'd feel better overall. Once it's out, there's no going back, though, so I'm having some trouble with all of it. I just cannot make a fully informed decision and it will affect the rest of my life either way I go.

Not to pry, but I had my gallbladder removed about two years ago. At that time, I was on hardcore Atkins, about 20-30 grams of carbohydrate (sugar and digestible) a day. I was shopping when that pain came in. I thought: must be a very bad case of gas. But it was not in my stomach, so I called my husband, and we went to the hospital and got scanned. It was my gallbladder and they told me it got to go. I scheduled my surgery, and ate cereal everyday until surgery so the fat won't make it scream bloody murder. I did return to Atkins (got off it some time later, but that's another story). Now I ate normally. See your doctor if you feel trepidation over this finality. I did my homework and visited reputable sites like the Mayo Clinic and pick the brain of my primary care provider.

 

[Audrey C]

I have no patience for controlling men, but a little bit of assuming other men still want this aging mother of three? I can deal with that. Means somewhere inside he still sees the young twenty-something me.

He obviously finds you desirable and assumes (rightly) that you have options. And maybe he is concerned that history is repeating itself. He's an intelligent man; I'm sure he can be made to figure out that holding on too tight will only bring about what he's afraid of. Apart from that, independent self-reliant women don't tend to give off 'I need you' vibes. I don't either, but I can tell once in awhile that I need to do something more overt to make my husband feel necessary and he's a very laid back, non high-maintenance guy.

I hope you can work things out. You've figured out by now that we're all flawed. He sounds like a good guy from what you've described, just might need to feel that you're still into him but this is who you are and how you operate.