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[CreamPuffer]

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Originally Posted by FlashBang ^ Oh yeah i remember that This doesnt particularly belong here (maybe i should make a new topic?), but that nanny story reminded me of a horrible case to a baby here in uk that really really upset me, the Baby P incident, im not sure if it was heard of in america, heres a link to the story: After 17 months of unimaginable cruelty, Baby P finally succumbed - Times Online Worse yet is that it doesnt even detail everything that happened, they found out more, including that as a method of torture, they pulled off finger/toenails and i think it was mentioned somewhere that even the ends of some of his toes and fingers were cut off...Whenever i think about it i cant even describe how i feel, ive never heard of anything like it. Theres been a number of cases like that which have occured in the uk just in the last year, i really want to know whats going on.

What happened to that child is so disturbing and tragic. I think everyone involved should get life in prison with no possibility of parol. AHHHHHHHH, I want to smash the mother's face. Also what the hell is wrong with the doctor and the social workers? This child could have been saved if they weren't complete idiots. How could they have allowed that monster to keep her child? That doctor is a stupid bitch, how the fuck do you not notice that the child had a broken back and legs. WHAT THE FUCK????????

I'm sorry but things like this make me so angry and I know I"m cursing left and right and not making sense. But this is disgusting. I swear what the hell is wrong with people? I wish there was someone with some super radar attached to their head that told them that the following was a piece of shit and just strike their sorry ass with lightning right at that moment. Why can't God or another higher being just do it like in the old testament or wherever those stories are written. Honestly, this world is so ugly and such a disppoinment. How can you be such a monster?

 

[ClaireAvril]

It's like some cases just fall through the cracks.. like Caitlin Sampson here in Toronto.. Her mother gave custody of her daughter, Caitlin to a friend and the friend and her boyfriend ended up killing the little girl.
Everyone I spoke to about this story said.. I would never give up my child.
Anyway that's another story.

There is a difference between normal discipline and violence or abuse.

 

[*Stargazer*]

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Originally Posted by Shimmer Know what works better than spanking? Consistency.

Yup. That's pretty much the key. I have a 4 year old that I could beat black and blue and it wouldn't faze her one bit. Each of my children has a punishment regime that is specifically tailored to their personalities. And because they've been following the rules since they could walk, I very infrequently have to punish any of them. Spanking in my house is reserved for very small children who need their hands smacked to prevent them from hurting themselves.

 

[Blueeyesangel18]

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Worse yet is that it doesnt even detail everything that happened, they found out more, including that as a method of torture, they pulled off finger/toenails and i think it was mentioned somewhere that even the ends of some of his toes and fingers were cut off...Whenever i think about it i cant even describe how i feel, ive never heard of anything like it. Theres been a number of cases like that which have occured in the uk just in the last year, i really want to know whats going on.

Thats sick

Well I don't think it's right to have your child beat you, I've seen this situation before where the mother is literally afraid of the children and heard of her actually falling to the floor and them pulling her hair, I mean thats not right and these kids were related to me. It was obvious that they were not disciplined in anyway as they have tried to strike out at other family members such as cousins and aunts. But as well as spanking for discipline, consistency is absolutely the key I've seen this firsthand hell I'v been the firsthand situation. Growing up we got spanked, also was hard times I'm 20 but my dad found it hard to get work but had all the right compassion he was in no way lazy.
Well we only got treated when we deserved to get treated and we got punished when we deserved punishment(not in harsh way, sent to bed early, no desert etc.), occasionly spanked and let me tell you we were the best behaved children, I've never been in a physical fight in my life and I don't plan to be.
The fact is I see parents just giving their kids what they want just to shut them up regardless of bad behavior etc.
I am the eldest in my family so I've had a lot of authority over my siblings and I do remember getting frustrated at my little sis and I slapped her on the arm and I didnt mean to it broke my heart cause she got upset with me, I think thats what some parents may be afraid of but they shouldn't let there children get away with everything cause they lose authority and respect.

P.S. I am just talking about the topic of kids hitting their parents, Its in no way meant to offend anybody nor is it directed towards or against them, just my 2 cents

 

[user79]

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Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya And she's in athletics. We're taking her out of that at the end of the week. She thought she's be able to play volleyball. I laughed at her and told her that children that hit their mothers don't get to do extracurricular activities.

Hm well just my piece on that, I think that's kind of unneccessary, extra curricular activities are learning activities, a part of a child's education. I think the other punishments are totally fine but I think this is more shooting oneself in the foot. Kids learn a lot from extra curricular activites, including social skills, and doing sports is also a footstep to leading a healthy lifestyle in adult years...I'd rethink that decision if it were me, but again, just personal opinion here. There's better ways of disciplining a teenager than telling them they can't do extra curriculars anymore, imo.


I was spanked as a kid too but if I have children I don't want to continue this trend. I honestly think it's the easy way out and it made me very resentful of my parents growing up, and distrustful of them. But that's just my own experience...

 

[susannef]

Spanking your children is illegal where I live and has been so since 1979. I have never been spanked and neither have any of my friends and we have all turned out good. There has to be other ways of letting a child know it has done wrong. Resorting to physical violence feels very immature to me. :/

 

[Dr_Girlfriend]

I have to agree that there is a huge difference when it comes to discipline and violence. I was spanked as a child only a couple of times. Honestly, my parents being disappointed with me hurt more than a spanking.

One thing that really stuck with me was that when I deserved to be spanked, it was never with an object, always a hand. My mother wholeheartedly believes that you cannot tell how hard you're hitting a child if it's with a slipper, flyswatter, switch, or whatever. If it hurts your own hand when you spank a kid, you're hitting them too hard.

I remember being at a Christmas get-together with my father's family (they're mega dysfunctional to the point I chose not to communicate with them when I became an adult). My aunt starts just beating the hell out of my cousin with her tennis shoe. My mom takes the shoe from her and just wailed on her with it for a few seconds and said "that's how that feels now do you think that what he did deserved that?" Unfortunately it didn't have an effect and all of her kids are screwed up but she wasn't disciplining her children, she was abusing them. Like I said... dysfunctional. I only hope that I will one day be half the parent that my parents are to my brother and I.

 

[kristina ftw!]

Not every kid who is/was spanked is going to turn out great, and not every kid who isn't/wasn't is going to turn out bad.
My parents never laid a hand on me, EVER - and I don't yell at them, curse at them, flip them off, or disrespect them in any way. I am always polite and respectful around adults, and I don't curse around them.
All I'm saying is, spanking isn't always necessary. I think that in most cases, there are other ways. Then again, maybe my siblings and I are just exceptionally good kids to begin with

 

[Kayteuk]

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Originally Posted by kristina ftw! Not every kid who is/was spanked is going to turn out great, and not every kid who isn't/wasn't is going to turn out bad. My parents never laid a hand on me, EVER - and I don't yell at them, curse at them, flip them off, or disrespect them in any way. I am always polite and respectful around adults, and I don't curse around them. All I'm saying is, spanking isn't always necessary. I think that in most cases, there are other ways. Then again, maybe my siblings and I are just exceptionally good kids to begin with

I agree, I was never hit, I got shouted at though, but it didnt turn me out bad

. I have seen some children try to hit their parents back after them being smacked for bad behaviour, and I just think you should always do to others (including family) what you would want done yourself

 

[terramishu]

Nowadays children think they're on top of the world, all high and mighty, leaving their parents behind and under them. That's totally wrong. They should always remember that their parents were the people who brought them in the world, and the ones who are taking care of them! Instead of feeling thankful, some children scream/hit at their parents. Shame! They deserve some spanking and a scary lecture with parents' fearful eyes.
I would surely spank my children if they misbehaved. The law is making these children spoiled. Newer generations of children are getting more and more spoiled because of the abundance of toys and food, unlike back in the days when many families were still poor and everybody had to share food, toys and bed. My mother was like that, she had to share the same bed with her sisters. Whenever it was someone's birthday, their reward would be a yummy piece of chicken drumstick.

My mother was really strict (thanks Grandpa lol). So strict that I didn't like her very much because I was SO afraid of her. I would rarely talk to her because I was afraid of saying something wrong to make her mad. No she didn't beat me, she just spanks me a lot and did some mental damage to me (she said a lot of hurtful things sometimes, like "why have I brought you in this world, you're always defying me and useless!".) She would just spank me because I broke a bowl by accident. That's why I always kept a distance between me and her. BUT, because of my fear, I always tried to behaved. During high school I couldn't go out with my friends a lot so I missed out a lot in my teens.
During all these years I never DARED to raise my voice, to speak inappropriately, or to even move a single inch! The only time I raised my voice was when I was around 17, for a good reason though, no worries

Anyways, when I turned 18, my attitude towards my mother changed a lot. I guess my brain finally fully developed =D haha.
I understood that everything she did for me when I was a child was just to protect me and to make me a better woman. I know she really loves me or else she wouldn't spank me and take soo much effort in teaching me (she would sometimes cry when she spanks me). I love her too =) Now our relationship is really good, I talk to her like how I would speak to my best friend, unlike when I was a teen.

Oh, my father? He never did anything =D He didn't bother lecturing me or watsoever lol, I guess he doesn't like discipline. He left all the dirty job to my mama. Oh dad... sigh lol.

Aaah, the young times.

 

[xladydragon]

I don't think hitting kids really works.
My mom didn't spank me. She hit me with one of those thin, flexible, wooden sticks. those really, really hurt.
I didn't really care...
I'm going to be honest, and say I did hit my mom a few times. I love her and all, but she has issues where she wants to just "win" regardless if it's a little problem or a big problem.
The first time I hit her, she was an inch from my face and screaming at me, I got freaked out and slapped her. I didn't even think about it, I just got completely freaked out that someone was so close to my face and screaming at me.
I think that's the only time I would ever hit my parents, if its I get hit, or she hit me, I think I would hit her first, not hard, but just enough so I won't get hit. I'm 17, I'm sorry I don't want my mom to backhand me. It's humiliating and stupid, cause I wouldn't listen anyways.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to disrespect her, but everyone else in my family agrees that my mom has absoutely no limits, she'll do anything to "win" an argument and control my life. And I try to make up for screaming at her by trying to be extra nice when we get along.
I think sometimes, you can't really judge what a kid do, whether its being disrespectful or hitting their parents, without being apart of the family.
If a parent is verbally abusive, why shouldn't the kid defend himself by screaming back? Is he/she supposed to sit there and take the screaming, especially if it's about little things? or if the parents are like my mom who just wants to make herself feel good? Or shouldn't a kid be able to hit their parents back in self defence..?