Boyfriend and I broke up after 3 1/2 years :(

[BloodMittens]

Well I think this is the one that finally ruined everything.

I've lost my boyfriend over something so trivial as MONEY. MONEY for chrissakes! After almost 3 1/2 years of dating and of course, the first time I ever did ANYTHING wrong. He leaves me

I did a bad thing, I admit it, I took some money that wasn't mine, but it was almost six months ago. I didn't have a job and my father was making me pay rent (my father is very abusive physically). That doesn't make it okay, but I paid him back, and he still left me.

Even after he did so many bad things to me... I know a lot of people are pro-life here, but I have had an abortion because of a very odd growing embryo. But after I had the surgery it was 22 city blocks to the train station. The jerk made me WALK, walk, WALK, after having that surgery done. Almost 9 city blocks before calling a cab.

Oh, and let's not forget the horrible damage he did to my self esteem, calling me ugly, fat, horrid, constantly every day we were together except for maybe the first month.

I understand what I did was wrong, but is that really basis to leave me?

It hurts so bad.. he was my first love too... god this sucks...

 

[darkishstar]

Not to be mean. But going from what you said, he is abusive and an awful person to you.

I think you're hanging onto him because of "First Love" status. But frankly, you don't need someone like that. Just telling you the truth. You don't need him, much as it hurts right now.

And I know it hurts. Please keep your head up and remember that you don't need him okay?

 

[Lizzie]

IMO, if he did all that stuff to you you're better off without him.
I do hope you feel better though.

 

[reverieinbflat]

Sweetie... you are most definitely better off, he sounds like a complete asshole.

*hugs*

You'll find that eventually, time will make this better.

 

[BloodMittens]

Thanks guys... this is really really hard on me right now...

 

[Corvs Queen]

Sounds like he broke up with you because of dishonesty and not the money itself. Dishonesty is a deal breaker for most so I can see where he was coming from. Honestly, would you have stayed with him had it been him who took the money? And you took the money from your ex? Did I get that right? I know you feel like crap now but time will do what it does. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[abrody]

Bloodmittens, if you read over what you've just written it is obvious that he has been abusing you mentally and emotionally for a long time. If you can type out all the bad stuff that he's done to you then perhaps you will be able to realise that he's not right for you.

The money issue might seem like a small and trivial right now but eventually you'll be able to see that it was just opening the door for bigger and better things.

(P.S it's good that you understand what you did was wrong)

all the best!

 

[jenee.sum]

wow.

honey, a MAN would NEVER let u walk home after that! I mean, put aside the money thing, just look at the things he's done to show you that you mean the world to him. frankly, it doesn't seem like he did much of it. I know it sounds harsh and it's really hard to take in right now, but I always feel the honest way is the right way. and when you are able to pick yourself up and look at it from our point of views, you'll see too that you are soooooo much better than him! and you deserve wayyyyyyy more!

it does hurts to give your heart out only to find out he took advantage of it. not saying he never love(d) you, but his actions (at least to me) weren't of someone who truly loved you. cuz it's true, sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

and one day, you'll find someone who will cherish every fiber of your being and treat you like a queen.

keep your head up and just know that we're all here to support/help you.

life is all about living and learning; learning how much YOU are worth! that he doesn't deserve you crying and being sad over him! so that one day soon you'll wake up and think, "damn....i AM too good for that a-hole! now let me find a REAL MAN who'll treat me the way i should be treated! like a queen!"

cheer up love.

 

[User93]

Hey girl, i was going to say, if you really feel bad for what you did (i didnt understand it completely, did you steal money from him or something?), maybe you can contact him, talk to him still, maybe you guys can still work out fine.

But anither thing is - the things you say he did to you are really horrible, so if its not anger at him right now which makes you say that.. i agree with most of the answers above, do you really need this kind of man next to you? Does he really worth getting back together? I can imagine how you're feeling now, but try not to think about good moments together, but all this bad things he did.. No man should call you ugly and fat, damn it sucks.

All the best wishes for you doll.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

This douche bag CLEARLY isn't worth your tears and heart break.

You may have been wrong for what you did, but I think there must have been other reasons for him to break up with you.

He's not anything positive in your life anyways, even if love has you thinking so, so just take it slow and work on getting yourself together.

 

[eastsidesunset]

Sounds to me like he was a grade A d-bag. Made you walk after surgery??!! What kind of ass does that? Pardon my french, but I would have aborted my boyfriend's balls had he done that to me. Boyfriends are supposed to be supportive, and if he knew you were having a hard time with money, he should have just given you what you needed, or worked out some way for you to get the money and pay him back eventually.

I know it's hard now, but you'll get over it. We're here for you!

 

[Beauty Mark]

Why didn't you dump his ass after the all the name calling?

It sounds like you got it rough, but between the name calling and making you walk home from an abortion (who the hell does that?)- you are clearly better off without him. You deserve better. What you did was wrong, no doubt, but you messed up once in a desperate situation. What's his excuse for being an asshole?

 

[LilLatnLdy]

Oh honey I am sorry that you are heartbroken and hurting. Now a days there aren't many people who stay with their first loves so don't let that get you down. I like everyone else has said "Is he really worth it?" Really do his good qualities out way his bad qualities? Now lets move onto you...what are you going to do for yourself? You are going to pick yourself up and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you do love yourself and you are a wonderful person and you will find love again. Now take this relationship as a lesson learned. In other words everything that you don't want in a relationship. Now don't ever let a man disrespect you like that again. When you are ready to date again and the first sign of that man being like your last boyfriend run away and don't look back. I'm speaking to you from experience that if you let a man know that you love him so much no matter what he does to you then he will take advatange of you. And it won't be just his fault it will be yours too. Why yours...because if you don't love and respect yourself first then neither will he. As time passes you will also learn that we hold the power over men....because in most cases men need us (women) more than we need them.

 

[ellenchristine]

I felt that way about my first boyfriend. He was a piece of shit, but I let it drag on and on and on because I was very young and naive. Let him go and be glad about it! He sounds like a loser, to be perfectly honest. I am about to be married to a man I'm completely in love with, and I still look back on those awful days with my first boyfriend and laugh - "What was I thinking??" I promise, the hurt will go away and you'll be able to see it this way too.

Hang in there!

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

Not to sound harsh, but I agree with some of the other posters. He was an ass to you. Abusive and controlling. Why would you want to stay with someone who treats you that way?

You should have left him long ago. And now that it's over, you shouldn't be mourning the loss of that awful relationship, you should be celebrating your freedom. You should try being alone for awhile, it sounds like because you had issues with your father, that you're looking for comfort from some other man to fill a void, and that's just not the way to do it. You really need to step outside of yourself and take some time to heal.

Just think...you had an abortion only because your pregnancy had a complication. What if it had been successful? What if you had had a baby by this guy? That would have given him two lives to ruin with his abuse. Would you really want to bring a baby up in that kind of situation? Would you want your son or daughter to watch his or her father abuse their mother?

I'm not going to say that I'm sorry you and your boyfriend broke up. Instead, I'm going to congratulate you on your freedom.

 

[Bootyliciousx]

Aww Gara Keep your head up

 

[miss_supra]

Why were you with him if he was so curel to you already?

 

[BloodMittens]

Quote:

Originally Posted by miss_supra Why were you with him if he was so curel to you already?

I've been asking myself that for 24 hours actually. Can't seem to bring up an answer except I loved him?

 

[sweetbabyblue]

I agree with all the other posters, you are so much better off without him.
He was abusing you and while what you did was wrong I think what he did is way worse.

 

[SkylarV217]

Honey, ProChoice ProLife whatever, No mater what our opinions are of that, its a difficult procedure to go through and any DUMBASS that would expect you to WALK after that is not worth you at all. That is a point in your life where you need support and love and healing both physically and mentally.

What he has done to you is terrible on many levels, you are listing terrible things. You are a BEAUTIFUL women no mater what he says or calls you. I think you are better off without him, and eventually after you recover from the relationship you will be presented with a MAN that is worthy of you.

Don't focus on what you have done wrong or why he has left you, focus on why you are better without him. Be strong and don't allow yourself to get into another abusive relationship with him or any other guy.


PS- Stealing and dishonesty are wrong, no matter what a person does to you , those things are relationship breakers. I'm glad yo realize that it was wrong, I'm sure that you will not do that in the future.