I know this isn't what you want to hear but you need to get AWAY from him and fast. There is about a 99.9% chance his abuse will turn physical. I learned that the hard way. But the difference here is that he treated me like a queen while were dating but a little while after we were married it started. First the verbal and emotional stuff and then one day-- smack across the face. I was about three and a half months pregnant at the time. The abuse continued thoughout my pregnancy and after. This guy used to sit and talk about how he saw his mom abused by his stepdad and how he would never ever hit a women. Yeah well, I was walking around six months pregnant using tons of make-up to cover a blackeye. But mostly it was places people didn't see because everyone thought he was such a great, sweet, wonderful guy. Little did they know I wasn't wearing long sleeves because I was cold, or when my hair stylist asked why I had dried blood and marks on my scalp. Yep, he would pull my hair that hard, sometimes while sitting in church if he thought another guy was looking at me. Of course I told my hair stylist some stupid story. I got knocked across the room, picked, literally and thrown to the floor, my head slammed several times agaist the wall or floor. Usually this was brought on by his bad day at work or the baby cryinf or his jealousy.
But when my son was five months old I finally left him and stayed gone that time. He had beat me up for the last time. I know you probably think your guy would never do this and maybe he wouldn't. But if he would let you walk even a half a block after surgery then he is no man worth having. And the name calling is so cowardly. Honey, you need to count your blessings that you are not married to him and can get the hell away very easy. My son is now 25 and still has issues with his biological father. I remarried when he was four and my husband has always been "Dad" to him and they have a very close relationship. My husband treats my son the same as our daughter. The words stepdad and stepson just have never been a part of our family and my son and daughter have never even considered using the word step to refer to each other. They are almost six years apart and very close. I was lucky that I got the hell out when I was young and found a great man. We've now been married over 21 years.
I will say this and I know a lot of you will think bad of me. But had I known then when I found out that I was pregnant (even though I was married) what the next 20 years would be like and all the hell my ex-husband would cause for my son I would have probably terminated the pregnancy. I know that is a horrible thing to say, especially since my children are my life. But you just can't even know how bad your heart can ache until your child is hurting and you cannot stop that hurt. I have been civil and even nice to my ex over the years for the sake of my son. My ex had good qualities too or else I would have never fallen in love with him. So yes it was very hard. But no matter what you decide about your being pregnant you need to make yourself a promise that you WILL NOT accept being treated that way. You are stronger than you think and will get through this and past him. Don't think he will change or the baby will make him all lovey and the doting father because that is a fantasy. Look in the mirror every chance you get and tell yourself "I am worth it", "I deserve to be treated with respect", and "I deserve to be happy" and you do. Good luck and BE STRONG. Getting over him and getting on with your life will not be easy but anything worth having never is. Sorry this is so long.
I have been in relationships before, and in one other serious relationship that lasted 2 years, but I never felt this way about any of the other guys I have been with. I don't know if it's just the way he is, that makes me love him so much, or the way he acts
