Bullying

[Beauty Mark]

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unhappy is just...unbelievable, you know? Sometimes talking about being bullied can make you feel ashamed or weak, and asserting that you're allowing people to change your mindstate etc. is incredibly difficult....I just don't know what to say. I really hope things change for her very soon.

Bullies can do crazy stuff to people. One of my friends was bullied very badly in college, and she was never mentally the same.

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They're all bottom feeders. I'm telling you, it is jealousy. They see her as competition. She will have to fight this her entire career and it won't get any easier. HUGE COMPLIMENT!!! HUGE!

Even if it is jealousy, in most work places (which is what school is) this is harassment and it would not fly. These people are supposed to be her colleagues. They don't have to love her or be her friend, but they must act respectfully towards her.

 

[nunu]

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Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Bullies can do crazy stuff to people. One of my friends was bullied very badly in college, and she was never mentally the same.

Oh my god, i am so sorry to hear that!

 

[ohnna-lee]

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Originally Posted by nunu I have asked her to do so but she doesn't want to talk about it with me. I'm giving her space and we just talk about other stuff but she's not the same Thank you for your support.

I have always been small, I have always had to deal with bullies, and let me tell you. At 34 I see no slowing in the bulling, you have to buck up against them and show that you aren't phased by their stupidity. If you were to tape them and their interactions with your friend in class and post it for the world to see, do you think they would be proud... or hang their heads in shame?

I wish your friend the best, she will either let it destroy her or become stronger from it, I hope she takes the high road and leaves those a$$es in her dust!

 

[MzzRach]

ohnna-lee - you rule.

Nora - I hope next week is better for your friend. May she continue to rise above.

 

[nunu]

I am so upset, the bullying is getting worse but my friend wouldn't do anything about it

i feel so bad for her because i feel that there is nothing i can do but console her.

So her so called friend actually went up to her and smelt her infront of the WHOLE class, like that wasn't bad enough she actually shouted out loud "oh my god don't you ever shower, you stink etc.."

My fried was so shocked because as far as she was concerned her and this girl are friends, they spoke on the phone earlier that day before college and everything was cool. So my poor friend went to the toilets and cried her eyes out for 2 hours. Now she doesn't speak to anyone in her class. Walks in sit for the letctures and leave.

They even have thenerve to say "oh my god, she stinks" when she leaves and when she enters they all go quite and some idiot would shout out loud "Eeew can you guys smell that" and it's not just girls who are doing this, even the guys who don't even speak to her said those things. I'm just really really upset because her father recently lost his job because of the recession. The only person who works in the family now is one of the daughters, so now they are living off their savings!!

It's just soo much stress for her already, why does she have to bother about these twats?? Seriosuly she's going through a lot of stress already and now she has to deal with this BS too??

Her friend even had the nerveto say "i agree with what everyone is saying, i sit by you, can't you have a bath?" What's funny is that they even have the nerve to ask her out for drinks too!! But she has declined on so many occasions. The idiots don't even get why she doesn't want to go out with them. Grrrr

 

[Beauty Mark]

Why doesn't she say something to someone? School is a professional environment, believe it or not (some programs even insist your dress up for it!), and they are behaving unprofessionally.

I don't know about how she operates, but with that added harassment, I would probably be doing poorly in my studies.

She needs to tell those idiots that what they're smelling is themselves, because their heads are so far up their asses.

 

[nunu]

Thank you so much Beauty Mark for your reply. I tried telling her to report it but she doesn't want to. She says her main concern right now is her familly and getting an evening job to help them out. I really don't know what will get her to report the abuse.

It's so hard for me to do anything because i am not in the same area where she is and all i can do is talk to her and calm her down when all want to do is break each of the twats' neck.

I told her that it can really hurt her and effect her mentally but my words are not being heard

 

[Beauty Mark]

Given the amount of stuff she has on her plate, she should talk to the prof anyway, even if those assholes weren't bothering her. If she intends on getting a job and taking care of her family, she may find herself behind in schoolwork. Most people are happier to accommodate those who speak up sooner than later.

 

[Septemba]

Nunu that is unbelievably cruel and sad. It must be so hard to watch this happening to your friend.

Maybe you can ring the school and speak to somebody in charge or write a letter/email anonymously and let someone know what is going on? If they hear that something is wrong then they'd have to follow it up.

Hugs, nunu.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

get even. Im sorry... but this girl needs to get revenge. That might be incredibley immature of me- and im not saying she be immature about it--- but i agree-- she needs to take these kids and take it to a board.... thats unacceptable. I hate people like this. hate hate hate hate hate.

 

[purrtykitty]

Wow, some people never grow up. I don't think the comments will stop unless your friend does something about it. People have now figured out how to get to her, and they're just tearing her down as quickly as they can. Law School is incredibly competitive and the best way to limit the competition is to get people to drop out...which is what it sounds like these a-holes are trying to do.

She sounds like she is too sensitive to confront anyone, so I agree that she should speak to administration. I'm sure there is a code of conduct that all students agree to abide by when registering for classes, and add to the fact that Law School is a professional environment, the school's administration is not going to tolerate that type of behavior.

Good luck, nunu. I hope that you're able to help your friend, and that she's able to get past all this, with her head held high.

 

[ruthless]

Deleted.

 

[lelaelena]

There's probably a ring leader and that person is incredibly jealous and childish and insecure.
When dealing with bullies, my best thing all through school was to pinpoint that person, figure out what it is that they hate about themselves, slyly allude to it (without getting in trouble) and watch them wither.
Anytime someone makes something up about someone else, it's because they're trying to cover up or draw attention from what it is that bothers them about themselves.
It's called revenge, and smart revenge takes a little bit of tongue biting and biding of time. But it's very empowering to shoot a person down like that.

I remember in the 7th grade there was a girl who adored pretending to find tissue in my sports bra in gym class (I was already big then). The other girls would laugh and cackle and support her, because it's a group mentality. Even though she played herself off as really confident and gorgous, it was obvious that she was slightly chunkier than all her friends and it always bothered her.
So one day, I prepared one pointed comeback to her. She made a tissue comment, and I replied saying that it was actual breast tissue and she couldn't understand because none of her fat had come out on her chest yet. She was absolutely mortified, and some of her friends even laughed. After that she tried to spread rumours that I was a lesbian and was stalking her, but I would honestly laugh at her, and even if I wouldnt say anything, just laugh, she would shutup as soon as she realized I heard her, just to avoid another bitch move from me.

Sometimes I still see that girl around (her baby fat is gone and she's pretty much perfect now, while I am a bit chunkier than I should be). She still gives me a look of fear.

I SLIGHTLY feel guilty about making her insecurities so public, considering that it's obvious she still feels inadequate, but I always say, if someone if going to harp on my insecurities, I have all the right to do the same.

Tell your friend to take the high road and only "slip up" once. That one time will leave a lasting impression.