Can I honestly let it all go and JUST have sex?

[NutMeg]

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX I've even gotten to the point where I had to ask myself, can a man really love someone else besides himself? Or is it just a ploy to try to get into my pants or whatever?

One, yes men can love someone other than themselves, but this one doesn't love you.

Two, I have no idea what his motivations are, whether he actually cares about you or if it's just about the sex. Does the answer matter? If you're never going to get more than what you're getting now (and you won't), does the answer matter?

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Nope, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to get what I want from him either way. I don't think I regret anything more than getting involved with him.

 

[NutMeg]

 

[foxykita143]

Well shit, I mean it does suck you had to go through all of that but dont beat yourself about it. At least next time if a new guy starts acting like him you'll know it right off the jump and you can drop him before anything happens.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxykita143 Well shit, I mean it does suck you had to go through all of that but dont beat yourself about it. At least next time if a new guy starts acting like him you'll know it right off the jump and you can drop him before anything happens.

I know. I notice that I'm very wary of guys these days not just with myself but with my friends. Like I'm not afraid to give them my opinion on a guy because sometimes there just these "vibes" that you can get from someone. Some bad, some good. I've had guys approach me who I can right off the bat think that I'm some easy bootycall and I just brush them off. And then there are the guys who will try to say they are in "love" with you and want this and that with you and can think of your "future" together when they've only known you and had simple conversations with you for just about a week. Guys...can just be weird haha.

 

[ktinagapay]

aw girlfriend. remember what you deserve. and thats a man who wants you and ALL of you. not just the sex.

i know it feels complicated to start over with someone else....but its hard at first but its like a breath of fresh air to break lose from something thats not going anywhere. 2 years is a long time but its not too late.

you have control, even though it doesnt feel like it. dont get me wrong im sure you guys have a GREAT connection but just imagine that same connection w/ someone who actually wants to commit to you...its like 10 times the euphoria.

=) your beautiful woman. and i feel bad for him when your gonna be with someone who treats you like a queen and he realizes its too late.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ktinagapay aw girlfriend. remember what you deserve. and thats a man who wants you and ALL of you. not just the sex. i know it feels complicated to start over with someone else....but its hard at first but its like a breath of fresh air to break lose from something thats not going anywhere. 2 years is a long time but its not too late. you have control, even though it doesnt feel like it. dont get me wrong im sure you guys have a GREAT connection but just imagine that same connection w/ someone who actually wants to commit to you...its like 10 times the euphoria. =) your beautiful woman. and i feel bad for him when your gonna be with someone who treats you like a queen and he realizes its too late.

Aww, thanks hun =]

At this point I don't feel like he's going to be calling me, txting me or messaging me anymore. Why you may ask? Cause I ended up giving him strep throat (I didn't even know I had it at that time, its not like I intentionally gave it to him) last time he came over. Now he has absolutely no health insurance but does work a full time job and gets paid almost $2 above minimum wage in the state of PA, and also lives with his dad at this moment. He has asked me twice if I could give him my medication (Penicillin) for him to take to get better. I told him no for the obvious reasons: 1. Don't share your prescription meds! 2. I need the antibiotics for ME to get better or else I'll just get it again or it won't clear up at all plus antibiotic resistance is another issue. 3. I only have a few days supply left anyways either way it's not going to help him. So I told him no and that he really should see a doctor, strep isn't something to play around with. He would tell me no. I even went as far as looking up for any affordable or free clinics in the pittsburgh area. I came across a free one but they look at HOUSEHOLD income and his dad makes pretty decent money and well above their income guidelines. But theres a take care clinic at the walgreens here and they only charge around $59-$80 for people with no insurance and he could just ask the doctor/nurse to write a very common generic prescription and get it filled at one of the pharmacies that does the $4 prescription program. But after telling him about the free clinic, he just said no again and that he'll just die. WTF? I'm trying to help you here because I feel bad for getting you sick! And he just started ignoring me in the middle of the convo, and not responding to my ims and texts. So whatever, I don't know what the hell he actually expects for me to actually be able to do for him but give him advice. No I will not give you my antibiotics. No I will not pay for your doctor visit. He has a damn job and I don't! And if its strep he should ask his dad to take him to see a doctor or something I'm pretty sure his dad will be understanding about the situation.

 

[NutMeg]

^ More proof that he's an ass.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg ^ More proof that he's an ass.

Yep! I tried being nice and helping him out but nope he won't listen to a damn thing I say unless its "Yes you can have my meds".

I just don't want to feel guilty for getting him sick and if anything happens to him cause he's a stubborn asshole and would rather let his pride take over (He refuses to even take public transportation when he had lost his license) than get help when he's sick.

 

[SakurasamaLover]

Just wanted to add my annoying but now_following_me_everywhere neuropsychological point of view :
Love and sex are literally drugs and strong ones, that's one of the many reason it is great to have trustworthy friends who can help you see more clearly the persons who bring those things to you.
Your brain can shut your judgment to off when it's time to look at men that gives you those ''fix''.

That said take a break of love but don't run from it forever; what it can bring is to much to give up.

 

[NutMeg]

^ You're in neuropsych? I'm a psych major and a crisis counsellor. It pervades every area of life, lol.

/threadjack

X4biddenLustX you're well rid of this guy.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SakurasamaLover Just wanted to add my annoying but now_following_me_everywhere neuropsychological point of view : Love and sex are literally drugs and strong ones, that's one of the many reason it is great to have trustworthy friends who can help you see more clearly the persons who bring those things to you. Your brain can shut your judgment to off when it's time to look at men that gives you those ''fix''. That said take a break of love but don't run from it forever; what it can bring is to much to give up.

I can so agree about love and sex just practically being drugs. I'm just at point where my life just isn't fulfilling anymore. Nothing feels alright or even makes me feel better. To be completely honest I don't really feel like I have any true friends anymore. We're all drifting apart or have had our differences and things aren't the way they use to be. I HAD thought that he was different and was there for me and all of that jazz. That along with the sex was just too much for me to pass up. Now I just feel like I can't trust anyone and that I'm all by myself. Idk, maybe it is okay? I need to learn how to be more independent and stronger anyways, I can't stand feeling so weak and helpless these days.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg ^ You're in neuropsych? I'm a psych major and a crisis counsellor. It pervades every area of life, lol. /threadjack X4biddenLustX you're well rid of this guy.

I guess everything happens for a reason huh? Me getting strep and passing it along to him might just be life's way of saying it's over.

 

[SakurasamaLover]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg ^ You're in neuropsych? I'm a psych major and a crisis counsellor. It pervades every area of life, lol. /threadjack X4biddenLustX you're well rid of this guy.

I'm studying it right now.. and still going for some years

To X4biddenLustX : Yes in a certain point of view we are alone in life. There is just one person in your head, dealing with feelings and stuff. But it's not sad, you have to be able to feel good alone and strong, before you can have a healthy relationship, or else you'll be too afraid of loneliness and will endure stuff you shouldn't.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SakurasamaLover I'm studying it right now.. and still going for some years To X4biddenLustX : Yes in a certain point of view we are alone in life. There is just one person in your head, dealing with feelings and stuff. But it's not sad, you have to be able to feel good alone and strong, before you can have a healthy relationship, or else you'll be too afraid of loneliness and will endure stuff you shouldn't.

Yeah its kind of like me, myself, and I really. Even with my family I don't have FULL support on everything in my life and my friendships are just a mess so I guess it really is just me. Ever since graduating high school my lifes been chaos, I've been having to try to get use to one transition and then another constantly all before I even got over the one before that. I guess this whole being independent thing is just another adjustment I'll need to make.