'Casual Encounters' Craig's List

[Bernadette]

Has your friend thought of maybe having a friend introduce her to someone? A friend's boyfriend's friend or a friend's brother's friend. Something like that? It's so incredibly easy to get laid! I can understand that she might be hesitant to have it be with someone she might have some slight connection to but there are plenty of people that wouldn't care or make a big deal out of it.
Where do you live? I bet I could get her some!

 

[Bernadette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lemurian You totally can. And crabs. And scabies. And warts. The prospects make ME totally HOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooo ooo la la

No seriously I don't want to make a joke out of this. These are all things you should mention to her Beauty Mark. God forbid she caught something and it's such a real possibility!

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lemurian No one is too busy for sex. In the most unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you look at it) circumstances it takes mere seconds! What is she doing that keeps her busy? Are there no men involved? I'm not trying to be critical, I'm all for getting this girl laid, just relatively safely

She works a lot and takes some college class (she doesn't like anyone in her class, either.) Everyone in the office is either married, in a serious relationship, or gay. Her weekends are spent studying for the GREs and doing the schoolwork for the class.

 

[Hawkeye]

I will go to hell for saying this but she has to be pretty stupid to do that.

I think you need to leave the decision up to her , maybe mention your opinion once, but the decision is up to her. She will probably do it.

I suspect some very dire consequences may happen. If that's the case she's going to need a friend - but make sure you don't tell her I told you so.


Seriously, loosing your virginity if she wants to lose it thats fine-but she has to be smart about it and be safe.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I haven't talked to her about it yet, but she claims that she's too busy to date. I perused the Craig's List ads out of sheer curiosity today, and it's filled with the sketchiest people on earth. I'll definitely talk to her about it. I think stress is getting to her, plus wanting to be an 'adult', but I really think this is the dumbest idea. ITA that if she just wants sex, she may as well go to a bar or club and find someone. Not that that isn't dangerous, but it seems less dangerous.

Having sex doesn't make you an adult...

To busy to date? lol... You make time in life for what is important. No offense but her priorities seem way out of whack. When did losing her V card become so important to her anyways? Seems if she's waited this long, you'd be past the point of it being some sort of a "urgent" desire.

It's almost been a year since the last time I got laid... January of 06 baby! lol... And to be honest, it really doesn't bother me. Sure it would be nice, but I haven't really put any effort into it eigther. I've been laying low lateley and avoiding the party crowd that is so typicaly me.

In my expierence the easiest way to get laid? Mix up your typical routine... It's should be fairly obvious that your chances of meeting new people who may be into you are rather slim if your doing the same ole boring thing every week day in and day out. Thats why I'm not getting laid right now, and I'm ok with that. But if she has this burning desire to hop in bed with someone, going to work/school/home/whatever everyday is going to make it fairly difficult to meet new people that might be relationship material.

You have to be an interesting person, if you want to meet interesting people.

 

[lemurian]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark She works a lot and takes some college class (she doesn't like anyone in her class, either.) Everyone in the office is either married, in a serious relationship, or gay. Her weekends are spent studying for the GREs and doing the schoolwork for the class.

So you're saying that she spends time on a college campus... and hasn't had sex. Er.. eh.. *short circuits, brain cannot compute*..

Isn't it just a matter of time? Isn't that what college is for? How can she hate EVERYONE in her class? That doesn't bode well for a future career in whatever she's studying

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark She works a lot and takes some college class (she doesn't like anyone in her class, either.) Everyone in the office is either married, in a serious relationship, or gay. Her weekends are spent studying for the GREs and doing the schoolwork for the class.

Grab her and FORCE her to have a girls night out. Nuff said. And don't take no for an answer.

 

[Shimmer]

tell her to email tuckermax and tell him she needs to be doinked.
He'll do it, if she's not a "swamp donkey".
And, if she is, she'd better be buying, cuz he'll still do it.

 

[lemurian]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer tell her to email tuckermax and tell him she needs to be doinked. He'll do it, if she's not a "swamp donkey". And, if she is, she'd better be buying, cuz he'll still do it.

lol.. WTF?

Okay, we're being somewhat flippant about a situation that could end up with a girl raped or killed or at least with a burning case of the clap. That's not cool, but it does seem a little strange that she can't get a little action the "normal" way, because her life sure sounds pretty normal. I am in agreement with Raerae, just take her out -- get a little tipsy and flirt up a storm. Do it weekly, at the same place if possible. She'll meet someone in no time

 

[Shimmer]

I don't disagree, and I was being flippant, but ultimately, what she does is her decision, regardless of the intelligence or lack thereof in that decision. :/

 

[Raerae]

She sounds like a college book worm to me. More obsessed with getting straight A's in college than having a good time. And then gets embarassed when she's gossiping with the girls and their talking about giving their boyfriend head and she's got nothing to add to the conversation.

You know the type... They eventually find some guy just like them, and get deeply involved in the first relationship they have ever had because both of them are afraid they will never meet anyone ever again. They get careers, have a few babies, and live happily ever after.

lol...

I bet her girlfriends are a little bit responsible for her sudden resolve to, "Lose virginity or bust!" They probably give her shit about why she's still a virgin, or why she isn't dating anyone, etc. Even if it's just in the joking sort of way that friends do, it's probably part of the reason for her sudden resolve to lose it. And being the not so socially capable person that she is, she decides that a personal ad is the best way to go about it. it's quick, unattached, sterile (emotionally lol... Who knows what he's got) and exactly the type of solution to this problem someone who's not well versed in the dating game would come up with. It's one of those really stupid answers people who are way to smart for their own good come up with, because while their book smart, their not street smart.

 

[quandolak]

.......

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I highly recommend you recommend whoever she finds on craig's list to wear a full body condom =P Can't be too cautious with craigs listers!

The visual to this idea is hilarious - but sadly, it's probably necessary

 

[NikkiHorror]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark We're in our 20s, which is why I think she's so interested. Pretty much she's the only virgin in our group.

I was 20 when I lost my virginity, and it was to my husband. Yeah, it's hard to wait, but seriously you can't risk getting vanerial diseases or getting hacked to pieces by a psycho killer. If she's that adamant about losing her virginity, she's having some mental issues about not being accepted or validated. I suggest to have a special girls day out with her and your other girlfriends to show her that you still all love her. And then maybe get together to help her find a guy, a good guy. (That means not going to bars and the like.) I never really felt loved by my parents, but I felt loved by God and that's why I'd never give it up to all the shmucks that came after me. They didn't deserve it. I knew that God would bring me better in the end. Make sure your friend knows that she's loved.

 

[d_flawless]

um, whoa. why does she not go out an find a worthy guy, get to know him and trust him, and then maybe consider dating him? then possibly have sex after time has elapsed to see if she even cares about him enough first?
craigslist has some freaks out there, seriously. it doesn't seem practical to even meet the person first in public without a friend to go, let alone dropping your panties for the sake of "doing it"

 

[Beauty Mark]

I did talk to her about safety, and she'll try doing dating type events (singles nights) and stuff that people do to try to meet people (volunteering like once or twice a month.)

Completely relieved

 

[quandolak]

...........

 

[Bernadette]

Thank goodness! Seriously 20's is nothing. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 20 and that's how old I was when I lost my virginity. I've had more than one friend that was 23+ when they lost theirs. Just because the majority of people are usually younger than that when they lose thier virginity, doesn't mean everyone has to be! I've also known of people going ahead and getting married just so their partner would give it up. People make terrible decisions based on virginity!
Tell her not to worry about it. I hope she meets and falls in love with someone special. Even if it doesn't happen perfectly, anything is better than some random guy off of Craig's List!

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

I was the last of my friends to lose my virginity and I'll admit, it used to bother me very much. They used to ask me "So Ashlee, when are you gonna have sex so you can join the rest of us in conversation?" and it made me feel like some kind of leper or something. But you know what? I stopped caring. Most of them are raising babies on their own, or are in just plain old bad shape. The ones who were in "serious" relationships, are bouncing around in singledom, having random hook ups and getting high, drunk, and laid every chance they get.
I'm glad I didn't give it up just to not be a virgin anymore, it made me feel like a scarlet letter, and then I stopped letting it. I had plenty of opportunities to lose my virginity, and I didn't take them because they didn't feel right. The guy wasn't someone I felt connected to, and I didn't feel like I was valued. i felt like a piece of meat; all these guys wanted from me was sex. And I wasn't having it.
And I met my boyfriend online, but through a mutual friend. The first time we met, it was in a very public place, in mixed company. This made it totally safe and I was comfortable. i felt like i was simply making a new friend amongst my old ones. And we chitchatted on the phone for weeks before our first meeting. And then met more frequently, and finally hung out on our own, still in a public place, until we established a relationship. He's the first and only person I've ever had sex with it, and I'm not gonna lie, I didn't wait very long, we were only a "couple" for about 3 days (i know! i know! lol) but it felt right. I didn't have those same uncomfortable feelings that I had with the others guy who tried to get with me.
And the next morning I didn't feel like a different person. It wasn't a big deal. And I'm glad I made the choice I made, and to this day, I have no regrets.

 

[Beauty Mark]

The thing that bothers me about it is that I don't think people within my group of friends care that much. Some of them talk about sex way too much (the people who've it the least, actually), but no one asks if/when someone plans on losing their virginity.

The problem is, I think, that she listens to our friends talk about sex and then reads shit like Cosmo. Last night, she presented me with some statistic that 9 out 10 people have premarital sex.

*sigh