Children -- yay or nay?

[Shadowy Lady]

I don't want to have any kids at the moment. I'm 26, have a demanding job and lotsa student loans + mortgage to pay. My husband and I have decided we will start trying in a couple of years.

I get annoyed when ppl ask me about kids too. We're only been married for a year and I've heard the kid question so many times that it drives me absolutely bananas!!

 

[flowerhead]

I don't think I'd ever have children, because I'm gay & I don't think adoption is for me...It's just far too complicated, & I wouldn't know what kind of child to parent. If I was to adopt it might be for selfish reasons & I don't think that's fair. I have a niece who I love & see quite a lot anyway...

 

[Rennah]

For me, children = yay!!!

I've always wanted to be a mom someday.
I love babies, toddlers, and all children! They make me smile.

I hope to get married & have one or two kids before I'm 30. (I'm almost 21 now)
If I can't have my own, I will definitely adopt!

 

[AimeeL]

I never wanted kids, until my friends started having them. Every time I would hold a newborn it was like my uterus would jump. "Helloooo, it's getting boring in here!"

The idea of being a mom freaks me out a bit, because I just don't have a lot of experience and I was the youngest child so I didn't get to be around babies until I was an adult. But the thought of making a little mix of myself and my husband...it makes me feel squishy inside

 

[stronqerx]

i want kids so badly, buttttt...
i dont know if i ever will. Like someone stated above this world is just too nasty, wouldn't want my children to see or be a part of any of it

 

[ClaireAvril]

Probably Nay for me.

I would like to have a child when I am 37.. like my mother did when she had me..
Career is in place.. living situations are in place.. married and life is just stable in general. But by the time who knows if I will be physically able to have children and at that point if it doesn't happen I don't think I will be unhappy if I can't.

A couple of my friends have had children.. most of them unplanned. pregnancies. When I visit them they ask me when am I going to have children.. and they know me.. they know that my life is not where it should be to have children. I don't even have a boyfriend.. so just because they're having children I should? Hell no.

I can't imagine my life right now with a child on my back.
I refuse to struggle with someone elses life in my hands.
I refuse to think.. can I pay the rent or buy diapers for my child.

I have a friend who doesn't want to have children because of the way the world is today.. She basically said that you can teach your children so much but as soon as they leave the house they can do whatever they want. With the drugs, gangs, violence, influences of sex etc that is going on right now I can see why she believes that. Kids these days lose their innocence so quickly.

Anyway.. if I don't have children - I can see other people children for brief periods the go back to my normal childless life. I'll be fine with that.

 

[TIERAsta]

It's still sort of up in the air for me. For a really long time I had absolutely no desire to get married or have children, but slowly I'm seeing that perhaps this is not quite as set in stone as I thought. Now that I've had a chance to experience life a little and be in my first long-term relationship, I think I can definitely see myself getting hitched one day! And *if* we make it that far, my BF really wants to get married and have kids. It's also a rather big part of my religion to get married and have children. I'm fairly insecure about my mother skills, and I really think I'd make much better of an aunty than a mother!

 

[MAC_Whore]

Man...my neighbors have some naughty kids. I wish they had said, "Nay". lol

 

[Blushbaby]

Hopefully in the next 3 years. We'd like 3 kids, two boys (I really want twins) and a girl.

We'll just have to wait and see what the future holds...

 

[carandru]

Children for me = YAYYYYY.

But children right now for me = O HELLLLLL NO!!!

I love kids, but I mentor and tutor enough of them to know that A) kids are bad B) kids are expensive C) kids are annoying when you're trying to study. I only say that last part b/c I'm trying to get into med school right now. So yea, I don't desire to have any children until I'm done w/ that.... so let's say 30ish. My hubby on the other hand thinks I can and should pop one out in the next 3-5 years b/c yea, I totally want have a kid in my last years of med school/residency.

I'm also kinda scared about my mothering skills since my father raised me all by himself. But hell if he had to give me the various "talks" all by himself and he had no idea what its like to be a woman, I can do it too (at least thats what I tell myself).

On the other hand, some of those "talks" have been the most insightful things I ever learned. I even tell them to my friends who have utilized this knowledge. So maybe, I do know what a good parent is and can translate that into being a good mom.

 

[tripwirechick]

I don't want children... most people tell me I will change my mind, but honestly, I think they are just naive. Not everyone wants to get married, buy a house and have a family. I have no disrespect for people who do, but that is not the choice I have made for myself. One of the main reasons I don't want to have children is the state of the world. I don't want to bring a child into the world when the future is so uncertain. I also don't agree with the way that children are being taught etc anymore. There are so many negative outside influences that I could never be 100% sure that my child would turn out well. I also think that there are too many people having children, and the planet is overpopulated enough.. and a lot of people I see with children aren't fit to have them, or act as though they are a burden because they are more work than they first thought.
So, I don't think that is selfish of me. Why does everyone else think that way?

 

[MiCHiE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tripwirechick I don't want children... most people tell me I will change my mind, but honestly, I think they are just naive. Not everyone wants to get married, buy a house and have a family. I have no disrespect for people who do, but that is not the choice I have made for myself.

I totally agree.

It peeves the hell out of me when girls (compared to me, at least) who don't know jack s**t about me ask me when I'm "gonna have some kids". Just because you have a child doesn't make you more of a woman and I'm not any less of one because I don't have any. I could even understand a person asking me if I was married, but I'm not. I even had a friend come to my house saying I needed a kid for the extra bedroom. WTF? I don't even have a man in my bedroom! That just goes to show where people's heads are. Show me why I should be like you if you're educated, have a stable relationship, a career and your biggest decision of the week is not what you'll wear to the club and who'll watch your baby when you go. Sorry to vent....just my experience with these idiots raising babies.

Oh.....and the kicker!??!? When girls ask, "Who's going to care for you when you get old?"

 

[mtrimier]

nay for me.

they have cute clothes and that is all i think of kids. i can borrow my best friend's daughter for...30 minutes...and i'm over it.

I have too many "adults" to take care of anyway.

when people start in on me with the whole "when are you going to have kids/i want to be a grandmother/you'd be a great mom" crap, i give them the stink eye and they shut it right on up.

 

[banjobama]

I think I want kids, but I'm soooo happy I don't have any yet. I'm 23 and married BTW. I want to wait a few years even though my husband says he's ready now. All I heard when he said that is, "I'm ready for YOU to carry a child for nine months, give birth to it, and raise it 80% of the time so I can play with it 20% of the time."

I really like doing what I want, when I want. And honestly, I like to party still. You can't be having "Mary Jane" come over and hang out when you have a kid.

The other thing is, women that show off their babies kind of annoy me. The kid matters to the parents but not to anyone else. I especially hate the "SAY HI!!!" and fake hand waving by the parents of a baby that is months away from being able to say "hi" and really has no clue what is even going on. I mean, all babies do the same things. Then they grow up a little, and start getting rude and snotty. Then they move out and you never hear from them again. If I'm supposed to make a big deal out of a baby, why doesn't someone make a big deal about me going out of my way to not have a child I couldn't support, all these years?

I sound like a bitch, lol. I promise I'm not. I just don't feel like my life is empty without a child.

 

[ginger9]

Yay!!