Originally Posted by FullWroth
Okay, personally I don't buy this "women are just catty" business at all because in my experience guys are just as bad, except when they do it, we say "omg men are pigs!" or whatever and dismiss it. |
| Originally Posted by claralikesguts
i don't understand how some of you can actually say you love haters... every time i hear a nasty comment my self esteem drops 10 points. i can't be strong and ignore it because i've never done anything to anyone... i've never really had a true 'best friend'. all girls i befriend end up using me, lying to me, abandoning me, talking behind my back, etcetera. and i can't make friends with boys without being called a slut, and anyways, i enjoy too much girly things to be friends with a boy. the only 'friend' i really have is my boyfriend... and since he is my SO, he doesn't really count. it's pretty much impossible to make new friends because 1) i'm terribly shy, 2) no one likes me, 3) everyone believes rumors they hear about me therefore they don't like me. i don't hate any girls. i do get jealous, but not so much where it leads me to despise them. if you actually hate someone "just because"... please just put yourself in her shoes because really, i have no confidence because of girls and their catty behavior. it lead me to depression, self harm, and even a suicide attempt. i rarely get out of the house because i have no one to do anything with besides my bf and family, but it's not the same as having a true girl friend. |
| Originally Posted by L1LMAMAJ
Story of my life. My first "best friend" in hs ended up liking my crush, dated him for two weeks behind my back (she knew i liked him), then I had to confront her!!?!?!?!? then she goes and says, "I'm sorry BUT sometimes boyfriends last longer than friends." I cut her off then when her bf dumped her because she was too clingy, I had to be the bigger person and tell her we're cool and it's okay. I never became friends with her after that because I felt very betrayed. We don't talk for about 2 years, then one day she calls me up and says this: "Hey Jen, Can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow? I don't have a ride..." I'm like..."ummm, you call me after 2 years to ask me to do u a favor. I don't get a 'hey how ya doing?' or anything???" Then my first "best friend" in college. I met her in the dorms during my freshman year. She was everything I wanted in a best friend. I felt like she was my twin. BUT after hanging out with her 24/7, she started to become very clingy AND controlling. She would say, "oh I don't like HER, don't hang out with her...why is she trying to be cute?" about other girls. She always had something to say about other girls. I tried to ignore it for a while but during my sophomore year it blew up so bad. Apparently she hated this girl that I started to get close with and she was jealous that I was gonna be best friends with the other. HELLO!? Are we in 2nd grade here!?!?!?!?!? Can a girl not have more than one close friend!??!! Geez. That escalated to an even greater level to the point where I told her I couldn't be friends with her anymore. She cried and apologized, saying I was the best friend she ever had etc. We are no longer friends and haven't been for the past 3 years. So now I have a best friend which is actually the girl that I got close with that the previous best friend hated. I love her sooo much. But lately she has been getting on my nerves a bit. See, she's one of those girls who always has to have a boyfriend because she's super needy and feels lost without a man. However, her newest boyfriend is like the male version of her so she is even clingier than ever. She's at his apartment like 24/7 (I share an apt with her but she's never here) and she only comes back like once a week to get some clothes and stuff. I felt like she completely ditched me for this guy. Long story short, I feel like she is choosing him over me. I'm not asking her to devote every minute to me but I feel like as her best friend, I deserve more than 10 minutes a week. It's not like she's busy doing hw or something because she just stays at his place all day. Sooo that's how it's been lately...I don't get why she is paying rent here but NEVER using it. Such a waste. There is so much more I wanna say but it'll take way too long to type. My point is that, I don't have many girl friends because it's way too hard to make them happy and somehow they get jealous of stupid ass things. BUT I really want girl friends to go shopping with or have the same interests as me. I love guy friends but it's just not the same. |
| Originally Posted by Khalia25
Awww...girl, if we lived in the same city, we could be shopping buddies. LOL. I'm too silly and goofy to worry about the psycho/possessive stuff. LOL. All my friends and I do when we're together day is cut up and act a fool. LOL. We have nothing but fun together. If you're ever in my area, we'll all hang out.
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| Originally Posted by claralikesguts
i don't understand how some of you can actually say you love haters... every time i hear a nasty comment my self esteem drops 10 points. i can't be strong and ignore it because i've never done anything to anyone... i've never really had a true 'best friend'. all girls i befriend end up using me, lying to me, abandoning me, talking behind my back, etcetera. and i can't make friends with boys without being called a slut, and anyways, i enjoy too much girly things to be friends with a boy. the only 'friend' i really have is my boyfriend... and since he is my SO, he doesn't really count. it's pretty much impossible to make new friends because 1) i'm terribly shy, 2) no one likes me, 3) everyone believes rumors they hear about me therefore they don't like me. i don't hate any girls. i do get jealous, but not so much where it leads me to despise them. if you actually hate someone "just because"... please just put yourself in her shoes because really, i have no confidence because of girls and their catty behavior. it lead me to depression, self harm, and even a suicide attempt. i rarely get out of the house because i have no one to do anything with besides my bf and family, but it's not the same as having a true girl friend. |
| Originally Posted by FullWroth
^^ What KRT said. Bingo. Another problem I have with the whole "women are so catty" business is that it's almost always women saying it, and not realizing how catty and self-centered that makes THEM sound, because the implication in that statement is "all women EXCEPT ME are so catty." That's one hell of an ego there - everyone thinks every other woman EXCEPT THEM is a horrible conniving bitch out to get them? Reeeeeaaally? Like I said before in this thread: If a few women here and there throughout your life don't like you, but you have healthy relationships with girls in your age group more often than not, then it's not your fault at all: those women have just got issues and you can't let them get to you, or maybe you had a falling out and both of you were at fault and there's no fixing it, and that's okay. If, on the other hand, almost every girl you've ever met has disliked you or stopped being friends with you, it's either YOUR crappy taste in friends or YOUR inability to be a good friend to another female, but either way, it's all on you to fix it, whether you need to pick better friends or learn how to BE a friend worth having. Of the two women I've known who have said stuff like "I just can't be friends with girls, they're too bitchy and dramatic!" one was just a horrible friend (so no shit she's not gonna keep female friends around, SHE was the catty dramatic one and she was HYPER-competitive around other females, so nobody wanted to be around her and putting up with her BS) and the other one had daddy issues and really bitchy female relatives, so she projected her need for a male to look up to and her bad experiences with female relatives onto everyone else. Like I've already said earlier in this thread: Men and women alike, we are all very catty people at times. The difference is in how it's perceived - when men say it, we perceive it as "tough guy talk" or "fightin' words" because culturally, we're trained to expect that a man will get aggressive about it and all that cattiness will lead up to a fight. When women say it, it's "oooh, that catty bitch!" because we don't expect it'll progress beyond the comments. Some people just suck. Other people try to pretend they don't suck by claiming it's everyone ELSE that sucks and just doesn't understand their Sooper Special Snowflake Awesomeness. And then there are awesome ladies like those of you I've met here on Specktra. ^_^ You are not catty at all! And I would totally go to the MAC store with you. Especially Shimmer, because she's badass. |
