Duggar family has another...

[*Stargazer*]

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Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Weren't these the people who had assigned each child to an older child, some sort of buddy system?

Yup. From what I can remember as soon as they are weaned, they get an older buddy who is tasked with basically raising them while she goes to work getting pregnant again.

 

[MACATTAK]

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They do seem like very well behaved children to me. I do believe however, no matter how well organized you are, that it would be impossible for two parents to give each of these kids the attention that they need.

 

[frocher]

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Originally Posted by Raerae The claim to be debt free.

They may be debt free, but I still wonder if they are on public assistance.

 

[Larkin]

One the show, one of the girls(12-14ish) was asked the ubiquitous question a young person gets "what would you like to be when you grow up?" She repiled by saying she wanted a husband & 10,000 kids like her mom. It made me feel a little sad. Why? There are so many possibilities in life and for a 13yr old to express this as her future ambition

, it makes me think their world is waaaay too sheltered and too small. She didn't even say "wife,mother,and ________ .


**I am in no way saying there is anything wrong with being a wife and mother. **

It's just shocking for me to hear this out of a kid that age.

 

[tsukiyomi]

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Originally Posted by frocher They may be debt free, but I still wonder if they are on public assistance.

I doubt it. Both she and her husband are real estate agents. That's good money.

 

[YvetteJeannine]

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Originally Posted by Ladybug10678 My issue with this family is that the parents aren't doing the parenting. She nurses each new baby for a year and then the kid gets handed off to an older sibling who is responsible for the care. I don't know, I just have an issue with people who force their older children into parenting roles.

OMG!!! I was going to say the EXACT same thing! When I saw the TLC special about them building their home, I noticed this...She doesn't seem to really 'mother' her children; she does just exactly what she needs to do and only that..nothing extra. It seems the older siblings are doing all the nurturing and mothering in that home. Michelle Duggar just 'rubs' me the wrong way....There's something about her I just can't pinpoint (and a few things I can

) that really creeps me out about her. Of course, I don't live in their home or know them at all, so my opinion is based on loose observances over television and news....Yet, there's something I see in her that I just don't like....Maybe it's the fact that she's a PERPETUAL BABY BREEDER...bringing more and more and more and more kids into this world when we are already so overcrowded we don't know what to do. She already has enough children to love. Maybe she should concentrate on LOVING them!!!

 

[tsukiyomi]

I think that with big families, the children help their parents out and that's completely normal to do that. It's called being a family.

 

[Shimmer]

True, but kids deserve true childhood experiences, not to be mother/father figures at the first sign of maturation.

 

[frocher]

....

 

[Shimmer]

Probably both.
Though, I do expect all of my children to get jobs at 16 as well, to pay for their insurance and gas and clothing expenditures. They're aware of that though, and their finances aren't going to be used to pay our bills (excepting their portion of the insurance for the cars, of course).

 

[Beauty Mark]

I think expecting your kids at 16 or so to pay for their things isn't bad. A lot of what you mentioned, Shimmer, is mostly frivolous stuff (you technically don't have to drive at 16).

There's also a difference between helping out your family with chores and raising the children. It sounds like the older siblings are doing more raising than merely helping.

 

[Shimmer]

I wholeheartedly agree.
Having a job and a car at 16 or 17 is one of those stepping stones to independence, I think...but I don't think, barring any major life upheavals for the worst, my kids (or anyone's kids) should be expected to pay bills for the household.

 

[frocher]

I agree it is not bad to get them to pay for some of their expenses. We are talking food and mortgage. One of them, whom I still know, and run into from time to time, had a scholarship to go to college. She gave it up to help her parents out. She never went, and still works in the same store she did when we were in high school. Although this is not necessarily a bad life, I don't think she would have made that choice if there wasn't a lot of family pressure. I know she was looking forward to school as much as anyone else.

 

[Beauty Mark]

For me, it really depends on the situation. I knew a family while I was in high school. The two children worked to help take care of expenses. I'm not sure why, but I know they gave their parents part of whatever they earned. They lived very modestly (the children shared a room and the house was small) and I do know that the parents worked reasonable jobs, so I'm not sure why they needed their kids' money. I *think* they were expected to send money back to their original country; they are an immigrant family.

Both kids did end up going to college and they did manage to have free time to enjoy being young.

 

[frocher]

Agreed, it does depend on the situation.

 

[lipstickandhate]

I just wish she'd get rid of those crimpy bangs and scrunchies. Whenever I see those things on her and her girls, I cringe.

 

[Larkin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher I agree it is not bad to get them to pay for some of their expenses. We are talking food and mortgage. One of them, whom I still know, and run into from time to time, had a scholarship to go to college. She gave it up to help her parents out. She never went, and still works in the same store she did when we were in high school. Although this is not necessarily a bad life, I don't think she would have made that choice if there wasn't a lot of family pressure. I know she was looking forward to school as much as anyone else.

I wonder if they would let a son forgo a college scholarship?

 

[giz2000]

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Originally Posted by frocher They may be debt free, but I still wonder if they are on public assistance.

Supposedly, they receive no public assistance. Her husband was a state representative , and they make tons of money from their TV appearances as well.

 

[eyelinerlover]

Ive watched this a couple times on repeat and its like watching a car crash in a way to me!

It is so different to my life and my views that i find it hard to understand it. I mean at the end of the day its their lives and their choice to believe what they want to etc etc.

I agree with the posters who say that its unfair to expect the children to almost forgo part of their childhood to take care of their younger siblings.
Although we are all influeneced in our beliefs and take on the world due to our parents ways,i think its a shame that these girls see their lives as being a baby provider and housewife. Dont get me wrong i know there is inherantly nothing wrong with this choice but i just think somebody should be able to make this choice through their own free will and not because its expected from them.

Im off to read about this quiverfull thing!

 

[jillianjiggs]

mia farrow has 15 kids, 12 adopted. no one is talking about her parenting skills

is it because they are adopted which automatically makes her a wonderful person? or because it's a little known fact?

i suppose these people put themselves out there, but it is not really anyones place to judge, as we dont see very much other than what the cameras show us. some are saying "they could be really screwed up but you don't see that" - you could very well also not see HOW the parents truly parent, you just see their system of an older kid helping out.

from what i remember, the older kid just HELPS. helps dress the younger one, helps brush their teeth...that is not the older one being a full blown parent, that is what i see my neighbour with THREE kids do. the eldest helps the 2 younger ones. my older sister helped me out all the time and we are only 2.

some others are commenting on how the one girl said she wanted to be a mother and wife and how it's being "forced" on her - she's young. when i was 13 i wanted to be a model. didn't exactly occur to me that you had to be tall, thin and beautiful (i am not exactly all three!!) to be a model. it was just a silly little aspiration. now as i'm older and going to college, i have different aspirations and life goals. it's about growing up.

how different is that from "i want to be a plumber just like my dad"?

their way of life is definitely different than most of us are used to, and probably much more religious than how we live ours, but they're a family just like any other, IMO. they deal with the same things.