Dummies roll deep

[CantAffordMAC]

Or have u guys ever dialed a number on ur cell phone, and held it to ur ear for like 7 minutes, and realized u never pressed "call"? Or after someone hung up, u just keep the phone up to ur ear accidentally, until u remember ur no longer on the phone?

I used to ALWAYS do that.

Or how bout, Im calling my moms job: "Hi can I speak to ____" okay no problem, she puts me on hold. But she puts me on hold for like, 8 minutes. And I sort of dozed off. So I woke back up and like 10 seconds later the receptionist gets back on the phone and says "Hi Im sorry, can I help you" and I say "Thank you for..um can I speak to _____" I SAID THANK YOU FOR...IT WAS LIKE I WAS AT MY JOB, ANSWERING THE PHONE! WTF? Who does that? Im soooooooooo slow sometimes lmao

 

[TISH1124]

You can always tell when a guy is about to hit on you and he is NOT anything you feel like being bothered with...So I'm walking in the store and I hear Hey, Lady....So I grab my cell phone like I am talking on it.....I am carrying on this whole conversation of course there is no one on the other line...But he doesn't know that...well Until the damn phone RINGS!!! OMG....I just want to die...But now he thinks I'm crazy anyway so whatever works!!!

 

[OfficerJenny]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 You can always tell when a guy is about to hit on you and he is NOT anything you feel like being bothered with...So I'm walking in the store and I hear Hey, Lady....So I grab my cell phone like I am talking on it.....I am carrying on this whole conversation of course there is no one on the other line...But he doesn't know that...well Until the damn phone RINGS!!! OMG....I just want to die...But now he thinks I'm crazy anyway so whatever works!!!

Rofl! I love you Tish!

 

[kittykit]

I washed my body with conditioner in the shower once.

My best friend went to see her doctor one day because her body was really itchy. She later found out that she has used the lotion as the shower gel and vice versa that morning.

 

[Lauren1981]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 I tried dialing my Mom 3 times using the calculator keys...then right before I was about to call the phone company from my cell to find out why I did not have a dial tone..I figured it out.

OMFG!!! THAT IS CLASSIC!!!!

 

[Lauren1981]

i am DYING laughing over here at everyone's responses!!!

i actually had a few more that i thought of last night when i was telling my bff about this thread.

2 years ago my mom's aunt passed and we were in the basement eating after the funeral. i got up to get a brownie and asked her if she wanted some. she told me no because she had to grade papers that night........


THEN.....

my dad was talking about how nasty and heavy the fudge brownies from dominos looked but instead says to me "now after eating all that damn pizza who has room for budge frownies?" and saw nothing wrong with what he said...........

 

[Lauren1981]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantAffordMAC Or have u guys ever dialed a number on ur cell phone, and held it to ur ear for like 7 minutes, and realized u never pressed "call"? Or after someone hung up, u just keep the phone up to ur ear accidentally, until u remember ur no longer on the phone? I used to ALWAYS do that.

i can't tell you how many times i have done that. lol!! i remember once thinking to myself how much i hate att because the calls take so long to connect...... wow

 

[Lauren1981]

okay one more from me and then i think i'm done with all the recent dumb shit i've done

when i started this job my supervisor was teaching me how to use quickbooks. she goes "your password is your name but in lowercase because it's case sensitive".........

i can't tell you how many times i typed the word "lowercase" in lowercase and kept getting denied until my supervisor goes "are you sure your name is that long??"

 

[pink_lily002]

I've done the "you too" thing to countless servers, movie theater ushers, even poor kids at McDonald's.....and when I worked as a server, it happens ALL the time!

Since I work in retail, I'm frequently letting people into fitting rooms all day. I've only done this a couple times, but when I would let someone into the room, I'd be shutting the door and say "Enjoy!" LOL WTF?! Enjoy trying on your clothes? I only did that two or three times, but I catch myself about to do it quite frequently!

The holiday shopping season is upon us, so I'm basically going to be stressed out for the next six weeks. The amount of stupid things I'll do will be huge. Last year, I signed my name wrong almost every time I wrote it, I would forget to press the "call" button on my cell phone and get mad when no one answered, and the brand reps loved me because I would call them by the wrong name on a constant basis! I couldn't even remember manager's names at other stores, and these were people I spoke to on a regular basis!

So a note for everyone who goes shopping this time of year in busy stores - PLEASE, be nice to the managers! They're super-stressed and having people get frustrated, angry, mean, and loud will not make things easier for anybody!

 

[Dizzy]

Okay, I'll bite again.

My neighbor managed to set the fire alarm, the house alarm and her car alarm off at the same time. How she did it, I'll never know. But she asked me to go wait with her until the cops showed up- apparently her alarm system calls them automatically when it goes off. They were just starting to ask her questions.

Neighbor: I don't know how that happened! I just pressed ONE button!
Me: Good thing you're not the president then, huh? That red one gets you every time.

She looked at me like I kicked her dog.
The cop made an admirable effort to keep from laughing out loud.
Good times.

 

[xsnowwhite]

Oh man these are so funny. ha I thought of another one, once I was at this girls birthday party, when I left I said "thanks for coming" and she was like "ha...ok" I felt so stupid. I didn't even bother explaining because things like that always come out.

 

[mtrimier]

My grandmother is the Queen of the you toos, but this one made us both almost pee our pants laughing:

The phone rang and she answered. The caller asked to speak to James (her husband), and she said "I'm sorry. He's dead, can I take a message?"

Everything just went quiet and I could hear the guy on the other end of the phone say, "Um, no, but thank you ma'am."

She calmly hung up the phone and I said:

"Bob? You just offered to take a message for Grandpa."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Grandpa. GRAND. PA."

"OH MY GOD! He's DEAD! I JUST ASKED TO TAKE A MESSAGE FOR A DEAD MAN!"

We fell out in the kitchen at that point, and I had to stop her from trying to *69 the guy to apologize to him and ask if he wanted to try the living James, her son instead.

 

[User93]

LMAO at all.

Check this out:

1) I was working in the reception desk. all my calls were starting like "Good day, Epicor Scala, how can I help you". Imagine how embarassing is to stand the line in McDonalds in your dinner break and after a guy says "order please" tell him thats actually Epicor Scala and ask how can I help him? ...........

daaamn

2) I called my Mom with: air condition remote, tv remote

3) I was seriously calling my home number FROM my home number and wondering why there is a busy phone :/

Dummies roll deep!

 

[Lauren1981]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alibi LMAO at all. Check this out: 1) I was working in the reception desk. all my calls were starting like "Good day, Epicor Scala, how can I help you". Imagine how embarassing is to stand the line in McDonalds in your dinner break and after a guy says "order please" tell him thats actually Epicor Scala and ask how can I help him? ........... daaamn 2) I called my Mom with: air condition remote, tv remote 3) I was seriously calling my home number FROM my home number and wondering why there is a busy phone :/ Dummies roll deep!

everything about this has me rollin

 

[TISH1124]

Just sitting here eating a Fiber One bar while typing on Specktra...went to pick it up again and take another bite ...put my hand lotion tube in my mouth! Thank God it was not open!! Uggghhh

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Omg we are HILARIOUS! Alibi, Im dying over here

last night I was on the phone, and I was reading this thread and I was biting my lip so hard to keep from laughing HYSTERICALLY about this!!

 

[RoseyPosey]

I read this thread at work and was laughing all afternoon yesterday!

The funniest one i can think of at the moment and cant live down is:

One night, me, my SO, my mom and dad, and our neighbor all went to dinner.
I ordered friend mushrooms as my appetizer.
Scanning over the menu, NOTHING looked good, so my dad suggested the chicken marsala
and i replied
"NAHHH i really dont care for mushrooms"

Seriously, it was so emabrassing!
And i did this before my rum and coke even made it to the table lol. i know i will think of plenty i say some really stupid stuff without realizing it!

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I gave my husband a black eye this morning...

Normally i never remember my dreams. But last night i remembered it very vividly, it felt very real. And in my dream, my husband was being a huge dick . I was unconcious yet i felt pissed off and angry, and i really wanted to punch him. (I swear the day and weeks before he did nothing to agitate or piss me off) Im not sure how long i was dreaming but, a few seconds before i woke up, my elbow rised and i elbowed him right in the eye pretty hard. That pretty much instantly woke up him and he was pretty dazed and in shock.


I felt so bad, but now that a few hours has passed i cant help but laugh LOL.

 

[BunnyBunnyBunny]

The other day I was lining my eyes and then I looked down and went to grab Molasses Pearlglide Eyeliner. I look all over the sink of the bathroom, then run out to my makeup case to look for it. It's not there, so I look in my makeup bag I take to school. Then my messenger bag, then on the floor. I start getting worried and all omgggggg now I have to buy a new one and idk if it's sold out and I don't want to pay full price, and I just can't believe I lost it and it's just soooo awful and omgggggg so saddddd

-Looks at hand-
-Was lining eyes with Molasses-
._. Oh, hi Molasses.

 

[nelyanaphonexia]

^^ lol. I've totally done that too. With liners. Brushes. You name it. I've been frantically looking for something that has been in my hand.