Dumped by text message, by fiance of 5years!!!!

[averiejuli]

Hi-just wanted to check on you and see how you are doing. How you holding up?

 

[silverbelle282]

i was reading through this whole thread and i wanted to show my support, and let you know that you could talk to me if you wanted to.

i'm so sorry that happened to you, i can definitely relate. at least he told you it so you could move on with your life, and didn't keep lying to you and holding you emotionally hostage. not fun.

anyway, i am so proud of you that you have not contacted him! that shows what a strong person you are. so you checked his facebook, i do that kinda stuff all the time lol for silly reasons and to random people.

i hope him and spanish girl get married and cheat on each other all the time like the nasty disgusting asshole cheaters they are. they can spend their whole lives giving each other stds. herpes. the clap. it'll be great. can you imagine what a great story they'll tell people? or their kids?

'well kids, your mom and i are huge slutty whores, so i met her while i was cheating on my faithful and loyal fiance. it was truly magical!'

hang in there. go get tested. and don't worry, you are 1 million times better off!

 

[stacylynne]

Hey Sweetie,
I'm sorry to hear. He's a coward.
Sometimes we get a blessing in disguise. So you should thank him.
Rent the movie two can play that game & you will be the last one laughing.

 

[BeautyPsycho]

I have nothing smart to say, so...

I wish you all the best, you deserve MUCH better!

 

[User93]

if only they knew how awful this "cheating" makes us feel, they would have never ever done this.

You need so much better really, and you will have - a nice caring guy, who would worry about you, value your feelings, take care of you, and be for you a shoulder to lean on. Thats what you need. Your ex simply wasnt good enough for you, now you had a chance to see it.

Another thing I wanted to tell you - try getting back to real life as soon as possible. I know how it feels, that all you wanna do now is stay at home and cry, that you feel lost, lonely, abondoned. Thats not like that, thats just how it feels. Life if how you see it, really, so cheer up, turn on some music (i strongly suggest Lil Kim - some "feminine sht", nothing ever made we feel more confident in myself than that, and no other music cheered me more when i was worried about the relationship. No matter you like hip-hop or no, Lil Kim is the medicine for ladies with broken hearts). First, try to clean up in your head and heart. Thats difficult, but just move on. Thats all you can do now. The more you sit and cry, the more lost you get in this sorrow. Next time you will feel the tears in your throat, smile, turn the music on, go shopping, go out with girls, flirt, play, enjoy. This sorrow will leave you itself. And in some months you wont need him at all, and will be just grateful to the destiny you had a chance to see who he really is.

Take care, keep your head up gorgeous, you will have so much better.

 

[Sonsireegemini]

Quote:

Originally Posted by purrtykitty Such an ass...I don't mean this to sound harsh, but at least you found out before you married the ass. Again, I'm very sorry...I hope you feel better soon.

I was going to say the same thing. My mom always tells me it is better to spend x amount of years and find out he is a jerk than to spend forever miserable. I'm soo sorry he decided not to be a man and tell you in person.

 

[mizzbeba]

Remember that it's his loss not yours. Too bad he wasn't man enough to at least tell you while you were on the phone together. Sure time heals all wounds but surround yourself with people who truly love you, such as family and friends. Now is YOUR time, time to focus on yourself and for you to remember that a man does not make you nor does he complete you. When you start to feel vulnerable ask your angels to give you strength and peace.

 

[christina83]

hey thanx for all the replies again, they really keep me going.
I went to the doctor on tueday about my weight and everything and had blood tests, im still waiting for the results. but i kept having panic attacks, really bad ones, my mum thinks it was from exaustion after everything, so she told work i couldnt go in (my boss is probably going to give me hell when i go back, but my health is far more important) , my doctor gave me a sick note for a week off, as he could tell i wasnt right either.
I cant believe all of this has done this to my health also.
I bought a load of books to read, one is called 'its called a break up because its broken' which looks like a good read.
Its almost been 3weeks now and time is healing me, i still go over memories and plans we made only a few weeks ago.
One thing i sort of dont like though is that my friends keep pushing men that i dont fancy at me, i know theyr being kind but it makes me feel guilty when i have to say "no" to them, has anyone else had that? lol.

 

[lafemmenoir]

Hiya,
I'm three weeks post but, as a fellow specktralite, wanted to let you know I'm wondering how you are keeping? Been there and still trying to shake him off. Life sucks now, I hate he's with someone and I'm alone, but I really need to stop me thoughts from being on him and trying to "accidentally" bump into him when I look really hot. It's true, we are so much better without them and we ladies need to all realise this and stop giving these bobnick men our time. Can't say I'm not lonely, but I'm not stuck with some slag! Please pm me and we can't exchange helpful tips

 

[benzito_714]

take it from someone who had a similar situation and got an STD as a going away gift (by two boyfriends). he did a good thing for you-get on with your life because there is much more for you. Your fiance was getting rid of baggage (himself) that would stifle you in your future endeavors. Peace Out to him and have a celebration because your life is just beginning. Be easy, have fun and don't be afraid to love again.

 

[User93]

christina, well girl, you really gotta take care of your health, thats nothing to joke with. But don't be much scared, its all just stress - I had something like that aswell, I have tough times at the college, so I was really nerveous, plus slept 4-5 hours a day, plus was worriad about relationshp issues - as a result i had/have panic attacks aswell, not long time ago I oke up at night with a really dizzy feeling, felt something in my throat, my heart was beating like crazy. I had something simelar in highschool, and my Mom took me to the doctors aswell - all they said after some tests (heart, blood vessels etc..) was that i really need some rest and thats stress. Just dont let this thing going on now ruin your health, stress is not an ilness, but in can cause some major problems later. I tried taking tranquilizers, but they completely knock me off and i feel dizzy, so you girls should really try just frinking some mint tea before you sleep, or camomile decoction (they are sold in packs just like tea), camomile is really really good for nerveous system, you will feel better after 5 days of drinking it, plus, its 100 & natural... Also, try drinking greeN tea in the mornings (but not in the evenings, there is cofeine in it, its really healthy and gives you energy). Hope it helps you ladies. And look what i have for all of you, girls.

YouTube - Blu Cantrell-Hit 'em Up music video

YouTube - Lil Kim - How Many Licks

YouTube - Remy Ma - Conceited (There's Something About Remy): Closed-Captioned

YouTube - Christina Aguilera & Lil Kim - Can't hold us down

check em all

 

[christina83]

hey thanks for all the kind replies again

just thought id update thing again though
well i went back to work, but ive been having 2hours sleep a night, i just couldnt sleep. so lastnight i cried all night, so my mum called work this morning and told them i couldnt go in and she took me to the doctor.
So i saw a doctor whos known me all my life and he asked me about my sleeping patterns and he could just tell by looking at me really and told me i have chronic depression. which was quite shocking, but i knew i wasnt right. so hes given me 2weeks off work and i have to go to councelling.
so i just hope to get over all this and concentrate on getting me back to my normal happy self.

 

[kaliraksha]

Best of luck to you and I'm so happy you are going to counceling. I just know that when you come out of this pile of crap you will be the best version of you possible. Keep us updated =)

 

[Girl about town]

Quote:

Originally Posted by christina83 so i just hope to get over all this and concentrate on getting me back to my normal happy self.

Hi christina just be selfish for a while and concentrate on getting better, don't bother about men for a while, watch films like sliding doors etc, and take it easy xxxx

 

[M.A.C. head.]

*hug*

I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. I can't tell you how to get over it, but if you can manage, DON'T LET HIM SEE YOU SWEAT. If you haven't talked to him, take that time to gather your thoughts. When you do talk to him, just be calm. Don't give him the satisfaction of hearing you cry or knowing you're upset.

Honestly, if you don't have anything that you need back from him, don't even talk to him at all. FIVE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE?! Caring for him and loving him, and he doesn't even have the balls to break it off in person. You deserve better, so don't shed your precious tears over such a loser.

 

[christina83]

hey thanx for all the replies again

sorry of im going on or ranting too much now, but today i keep wondering what that arsewipe of a man is up to and if hes happy with his new hoe, and wondering if he thinks of me or feels sad.
plus i think of all those little things he said before we broke up, the lies, which ones were lies and which ones werent.
i wish id just switch off from all that.
i mean im keeping occupied by looking for a car, so i can start to learn to drive and im going to apply to do a degree in psychology.
but i dont know why i keep wondering all of this about where he is and if hes with her, and if it was her, and so on, its annoying me, wish it would go away.

 

[fxckslutrock]

at least you didnt marry him..

it would be worse!

 

[christina83]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fxckslutrock at least you didnt marry him.. it would be worse!

Marriage or no marriage it still Hurts, my heart and soul was ripped to pieces that fateful night of the text, and the person whom i loved, cherished and worshipped did the dirtiest deed possible. he was my bestfriend for over 5years, so i also lost that too.

 

[kaliraksha]

Ugh, unfortunately the only thing you can do is let it go... not for him and it doesn't make it alright...but for you. You can't think about whether any of it was true or how he's doing because you won't ever find the truthful answer. I remember asking my ex those questions and he said "he meant it at the time" (the things he said to me) and eventhough I got my answer it didn't leave me anymore satisfied... what did though was starting a life of my own and not thinking about it. Although that took me almost 6 months to start to not thinking about it everyday.. it's a slow process.. but the more you talk yourself out of obsession and more into recovering the better you will feel. Trust me... sometimes I still think about it almost 4 years later and I get pissed and upset and I cry just the way I did when I found out... and you know what I realize in the end? I'm the only one that even cares now... she doesn't think about it and he doesn't think about it so the only person that's hurting is me and I'm doing it to myself.

Regardless, it's a process that takes time and commitment to yourself and anytime you can save yourself from wasting your tears and frustration on him and not you should be your priority.

Keep smiling!

 

[Kalico]

Christina83, I am sorry he did this to you. There's nothing anyone can say that will make it all better. You don't need to get over it right now, you need to grieve - for however long it takes. You'll move on when you're ready to, without even trying. It gets easier. I promise.

I know how you feel right now. The wondering, what is he doing, what is he feeling, is he really over me?! I'm going through that right now. I miss my ex to pieces and he treated me pretty bad. It's been a while and I was doing so damn good! WTH! But, I find with these things the pain comes and goes, comes and goes. Eventually ... it's just gone one day and you'll think "Hey! Wow, what happened there?"

You'll find a guy who will treat you wonderfully. In the mean time... you need to take good care of yourself. Retail therapy, and focus on you.. which it sounds like you're doing. You're better than him and the skanky-ass whore he's with. She will never be HALF of what you are.

When you figure out how to get rid of the nagging thoughts of him, let me know, k?